Chapter 19 #2
And because my dad couldn’t help himself, he added, “So if we wanted to set you up with someone, is it guys only? Cuz I have this friend who owns a shop near the restaurant. A little younger than us, single …”
A knot formed in my stomach, and I had to will my head to keep it from snapping up to his. I grabbed my phone from the coffee table instead and began swiping mindlessly at social media, something I hadn’t bothered to do in all my time at Randall’s cabin except when I was spying on his idiot ex.
“No!” Randall said rather loudly. I kept my eyes locked on my phone, though all I wanted was to decipher the emotions I would see on his face if I were brave enough to look up.
More calmly, he continued, “No, no. I’m gay, Marty.
Always have been. Should have told you back then, but, well, I didn’t tell anyone.
I moved to an entirely different hemisphere so I wouldn’t have to tell anyone. ”
Mom stood up and stood before me. “Aus, will you help me in the kitchen?”
“Huh?” We were waiting for a pizza delivery, our drinks were fresh, and snacks were on the coffee table. What could she possibly need to do in the kitchen? Her eyes got wide when I looked up from the phone. “Sure?”
On my way past Randall, I wanted so much to place a reassuring hand on his shoulder. When I realized what I was doing, I redirected my hand to grab his drink instead, giving it a little shake. It was practically full.
“Ready for another?”
“No, thank you, Austin.” Randall looked up into my eyes, and I hoped mine conveyed how proud I was of him for jumping that huge hurdle with my parents.
God bless Dad for keeping it weird. As I followed my mom to the kitchen, he said, “You know Aus is gay. Did he mention it?”
“It may have come up,” Randall replied, and I had to ball my fists and focus on my blunt nails digging into my palms to keep from laughing.
The two friends spoke at the same time.
“You could have told me back then.” Dad’s voice was so kind.
“I should have told you …” Randall began. When Dad didn’t go on, he continued as Mom waved me over to the corner of the kitchen and put a stack of plates in my hands.
“I figured we should let them talk.” Thanks to the countertop bar that divided the kitchen from the family room, I could still hear every word.
“I was dealing with a lot. I don’t know if you remember, but I went home for a few weeks after graduation.
I thought I would tell my mom then, but before I could even bring it up, she said some pretty awful things about gay people.
We spent a lot of time over those weeks at church events.
I think she knew. I think she even knew I was going to tell her, and she put a stop to it with those words and all that time at church!
We pretended like that until she got sick.
I told her then. She was dying, so she didn’t push me away, which I’m eternally grateful for.
But then she was gone, and I headed off to London.
I’m glad I told her, and I’m glad to have told you, now. ”
“I’m glad too. Surprised, and really, really glad.”
I moved to return to the other room, and Mom put a hand on my forearm, silently shaking her head “no.”
“You had no idea?”
“None. I mean, you were always quiet and didn’t date, but I didn’t think anything of that. I figured you’d find the right … girl, and the way you were always so quietly confident, I figured you’d know right away when you’d met the right person. Was it like that with David?”
“You thought I was confident back then?”
“Well, yeah. You did not give a shit what people thought about you. You succeed at everything you set your mind to. I just thought, when you set your mind to romance, you’d kick ass at that as well. Was it like that with David? Did you know right away?”
Randall was silent for a long while, and I could picture him thinking about it in that serious way he had, and it made me realize Dad was right, Randall could exude confidence.
He was taking his time thinking about an answer, not worried about filling the silence.
I think maybe Randall had needed to hear that. I was glad Dad had said it.
I looked at Mom and shrugged, silently offering up my stack of plates as if to say, we can’t stand here forever. She held her hand up to tell me to stay put, then she scurried around the kitchen, returning with a pizza cutter, a handful of forks, and a roll of paper towels.
“Keeping it classy with the paper towels, Mom,” I whispered, and she rolled her eyes.
“David was effervescent and handsome and … seemed to like me. It was enough for me at the time.”
“Well, I’m sorry it didn’t work out. Sounds like he was also an asshole if he cheated on you.”
“I suppose.”
“But you’re back now and single, and I’m sure we know some other single guys. Honey …”
“Oh, God,” Mom whispered, then she rounded the corner and circled back to the family room. What else was there for me to do but follow?
“Pizza should be here soon,” was my lame attempt at changing the subject.
“Hun, we must know some other gay guys. Single gay guys besides Turner from the boardwalk. Oh, there’s Preston, who works for me, but Pres is even younger than Turner. What do you think, Aus, are either of those guys hot?”
“Dad!”
My gaze finally returned to Randall’s, and he looked absolutely miserable, his eyes as wide as mine felt.
I hadn’t thought much about what our week with my parents might look like, but I sure as shit hadn’t pictured my Dad trying to set Randall up.
I wanted my look to convey that to Randall, but when I saw the way he was squirming behind those Clark Kent glasses, my own feelings and concerns vanished.
It was time to shut the conversation down.
“Dad, Randall just moved to Mount Pheasant. He doesn’t want to date someone from New Jersey.”
“This kid, always disparaging Jersey.” I’d never minded dad calling me kid, or kiddo before, but hearing it in that moment just added a current of tension that I hoped my parents weren’t picking up on. A glance at my mom told me she absolutely was. Time to shift the focus again.
“I’m not disparaging Jersey. You know I loved growing up at the beach. But I love the mountains too. And I love Hampstead Valley. But this isn’t about me! I’m just saying it might be challenging for Randall to date someone who lives five hours away!”
“Well, your mom still works in the city. That’s closer to you guys.
I know everyone works from home nowadays, but if you had a reason to go to your New York office, Randy, that wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world, would it?
What do you say, honey? Any of the guys in your office single? What about …”
“Dad!” I interrupted, but Randall took up the conversation, responding slowly.
“I haven’t thought much about dating, with all the other changes in my life over these past few months.” I was leaning over the coffee table to offload my plates and tipped my head up to peek at a charmingly blushing Randall.
My father was undeterred. “I’ve been out of the dating game for a long time, but as I understand it, there are apps for that sort of thing these days. Isn’t that right, Aus?”
My eyes went wide, and I couldn’t help but allow them to laugh along with Randall’s. “Dad!” I could feel myself blushing, and I swear Randall’s blush was darkening at the same speed, up his cheeks. I just knew that if I could see the back of his neck, he’d have a little red splotch there.
“Well, we’ve certainly been out of the game ourselves since back in the day when you and I were still roomies. Jeez, Randy, how did I not figure this out back then?”
“I’m from a small town in the Midwest, Marty,” he stated matter-of-factly. “I was very good at hiding.”
“So, Aus. You’ll have to clue all us old-timers in on these apps.” I dropped to the couch with a plop that had Dad bouncing up next to me as he said it.
I caught Randall’s eye again and watched as his blush got deeper, fighting not to lean back and check that perfectly chiseled hairline at the back of his neck.
“Yeah, Dad. I’m not going to do that. Randall is the VP of a tech company. I’m sure he can figure out dating apps if he wants to.”
“A VP,” Randall muttered, humbly.
“And what about you, kiddo? Are you going to see that nice friend of yours from high school, Dalton?” Dad went on to fill Randall in. “Austin was so nervous to bring home his first boyfriend. Mind you, he’d come out to us when he was twelve, but he asked a guy to the prom and …”
And Dad was going to tell Randall all about my first boyfriend, who also happened to be my first time. Seemed like something I should be sharing with Randall. It was something I wanted to share with him.
“Okay, Dad. Embarrassing Austin story number one. Not something Randall wants to hear about.” Dalton and I did generally get together when I was home, as friends, to go out and catch up, often with other members of our graduation class.
“I texted Dalton last week, but we don’t have definitive plans. ”
I hadn’t thought about it over the past few days, but my usual New Year's Eve party with Dalton and the gang held no appeal for me as I sat there feeling Randall’s eyes on me.
I looked right at him even though I knew my mother was watching me. “I don’t know what my plans are yet for New Year’s Eve. Are you two going to the city?”
“Yeah,” my mom said.
“You know, Mom’s gotta put in an appearance at Rich’s party.” Dad leaned in to talk directly to Randall. “Steph’s boss always throws a big party. You can come with. It’s mostly boring bankers, but some of them must be single!”
Thankfully, there was a knock on the door, and I jumped up to get it. I could hear Randall politely declining as I walked away, and by the time I returned, Dad was talking about the tree in the corner of the room and what a challenge it had been getting it in the house without me.