Chapter 20
Chapter Twenty
Randall
I racked my brain, trying to come up with an excuse to stay with Austin.
I could feel Stehpanie’s eyes on me, and for some reason, that had my mind screaming, “abort.” I stacked the plates and my beer bottle and left them in the kitchen sink.
The area in front of the sink was open to the family room.
Austin looked up from closing the lid on a green-and-red bin and smiled at me softly as his parents passed the kitchen and headed up the stairs.
For a brief moment, I pictured us back inside our snow globe, alone and laughing, rolling around in the snow as more fell gently over us. I nodded to him, wanting to do so much more, instead following my friends up the stairs.
They were entering their room as I opened the bathroom door.
“Good night, old friend.” Marty yawned. “It’s so good to have you back.” Steph put a hand on his arm and smiled my way.
“Good night, you two.” I’d held the door open a few inches during our brief exchange but opened it fully as they closed their bedroom door behind me.
I thought about the two teenagers I had introduced, pride welling up in me now that there was no jealousy over the content life they seemed to have created for themselves and Austin.
Austin. My body vibrated at the thought of him, like we were in tune even a floor apart. My eyes clocked the shaving kit I’d left sitting on the bathroom counter, and a rush of heat ignited within me, thinking about the contents he’d snuck therein.
I was still convinced that Austin would come to his senses about me, away from our snowed-in fantasy, but I was equally convinced that my feelings for him would be harder to dismiss.
I ignored the toys and supplies in favor of my toothbrush, got ready for bed, and fell into a restless sleep, imagining Austin down the hall instead of in my arms. How could my bed feel so empty after only one night of holding him?
The next morning, I found him exiting the bathroom as I entered.
He looked toward his parents’ door before leaning in and whispering, “I was disappointed to see your shaving kit was undisturbed.”
“Not true,” I countered. “My toothbrush and deodorant are clearly on the counter.”
“You know what I mean,” he breathed into my ear, and it was my turn to make sure no one was emerging from the master bedroom.
“You’re playing with fire,” I whispered back.
He looked back into the bathroom, eyeing the Dopp kit that sat next to my deodorant on the counter.
“I really wish I was.”
“Austin!” I warned. He smiled a mischievous smile.
“I’m really proud of you, for telling them last night.”
“There didn’t seem any reason to hide. You said you’ve been out to them since you were twelve, and I know how they were when we were in school. My only worry was that they’d be upset I kept it from them.”
“My dad’s too easygoing to be upset about much of anything.”
“Are you sure about that?” I asked pointedly.
“You know, I really am.”
“Austin!”
“I know, I know. Let’s get through Christmas.”
“Which was your idea!” I fired back.
“Well, I guess my ideas aren’t always great!”
“Austin. I just … I see … I mean, you couldn’t possibly …” A pan clanked downstairs, and we both jumped.
He looked at me like he knew exactly what I was getting at.
“I know, deep down, that you know how I feel, so I’m not going to argue with you about that.
But I’m willing to wait until after the holidays, to let you have this time with Mom and Dad.
To get your old friends back. It’s … it’s important to me that you have that, ET. ”
The door to the master bedroom opened as I was just about to lean closer and wipe the snark, and that ridiculous nickname, off Austin’s face with a kiss. We jumped apart.
“Oh good, you’re both up! Mom’s making breakfast, then I thought I’d show Randy the restaurant. Maybe get a little last-minute Christmas shopping in? Are you hanging with Dalton and the gang today?” Marty asked his son, making it clear Austin wasn’t invited to the beach with the two of us.
“Not sure yet, Dad. If not, I’ll find something to keep me busy around here.” Austin glanced back into the bathroom from his spot in the doorway, and my body pulsed, imagining and simultaneously fighting the image of him using the toy in my bag.
“But you two have fun with your last-minute shopping,” Austin added. “I can’t wait to see what you think of the Beach Break Bar and Grill. The Three B’s is Dad’s pride and joy. He loves it more than he loves me.”
“I mean, it’s got a great view!” Marty joked.
We had a quick but delicious breakfast that Stephanie had cooked before Martin dragged me out of the house and down to the beach.
“It’s only a few blocks, but it gets colder and windier the closer we get to the shore. You’re blocking me in. Do you mind driving?”
“Not at all.”
A quick few minutes later, I was standing in a warm, wood-paneled restaurant, watching the ocean waves break outside the windows.
A wooden deck opened up to the boardwalk.
There were a few people bundled up and walking on the beach, some with dogs in tow, and more people passing by on the boardwalk.
“This is amazing, Marty. Look at this location. I’m surprised to see so many people out and about in the dead of winter!”
“We’ve had a big push these last few years to encourage people to shop local during the offseason. We had a big campaign through the chamber of commerce.”
“Listen to you, talking about the chamber of commerce like some kind of grown-up!”
“Yeah, I’m on the committee that came up with the holiday promotion.
It helps the local businesses sustain themselves over the winter.
” I could hear a door open and close, and a man appeared behind the bar, his dark hair sticking out in all directions, his scraggly beard giving him an air of casual confidence, like he didn't care about his appearance.
“Hey, boss. Didn’t expect to see you here this early.”
“Preston! Meet my friend Randall. He’s lived in London for years and just returned to the States.
I wanted to show him the beach and the Three B’s, of course.
Randy, this is my restaurant manager, Preston.
We’re usually really slow most of the winter, so I manage things myself, but Pres is a teacher and comes back during his winter break to help out.
Thanks again for doing this during your break. ”
“Hey, thanks for paying me, man.”
Martin chuckled, and I got the distinct feeling Preston was checking me out from behind the bar.
It wasn’t the first time someone had eyed me in that way, but I had been able to ignore those looks for years as a married man.
I found myself completely uninterested in Preston, as an image of Austin’s laughing smile caused me to smile and blush under the man’s stare.
He smirked, grabbed a rag, and pulled his eyes away from me to wipe down a very clean-looking bar.
“Are you here for the holiday? I look forward to seeing you around, Randall.” Martin looked from Preston to me.
“Yes! Randy is staying through the New Year, and he refuses to come to Stephanie’s work party with us on New Year’s Eve.
You or Aus or Turner will have to let Randall know the best places to go for New Year’s Eve.
” Preston gave me another once-over and a knowing look.
He understood exactly what kind of places Martin was hinting about.
“Bundle up, Randy,” Martin said even though all I’d done when we entered was take my gloves off. “I want to show you around the boardwalk!”
We exited onto the restaurant’s deck and turned south, walking parallel to the beach. I followed Martin as he pointed out various businesses and buildings and told me about them.
“We started coming here when Austin was little. We even bought a little beach bungalow after a few years. About eleven years ago, the restaurant space went up for sale. At first we thought Aus and I would just spend the summers here, with Steph commuting on weekends. But man, we all hated leaving that first summer. Austin had found a group of friends, or really, he’d found Dalton and his group of friends.
We sold our house in Montclair; bought one here.
We have a condo in the city, and Steph still has to spend time there, but she has a satellite office at one of the bank branches nearby, so she doesn’t go into the city that often anymore.
” Martin had offered a lot of Lessand family background information, but my mind had tripped on the name Dalton.
I could feel the back of my neck prickle at the mention of Austin’s friend.
We wandered in and out of a few stores, each one staffed with someone who greeted Martin by name. I may have managed to find a trinket to purchase in one of the gift stores. A few of the shops along the boardwalk were closed.
Martin pointed at one as we passed. “I’ve really tried to encourage everyone to stay open, at least through the New Year, but it’s just not practical for some people.
And some people are happy to make as much money as they can over the summer and be done with it until next year.
We’re trying to build a year-round community here. ” Martin sounded frustrated.
I quirked a smile and shook my head. “Mr. Chamber of Commerce.”
He smacked my arm, his too-big mitten doing nothing more than flop on my woolen-clad arm. “Shut up! It’s not like I’m the only one who’s changed, you know. Mr. VP.” He chuckled. “Mr. Gay Divorced VP!”
I was laughing at my old friend, memories of the many, many times he’s put his foot in his mouth coming back to me. His eyes went wide, and he stopped laughing along. “Shit, I’m sorry, man. That was insensitive. Bringing up your divorce.”