Chapter 22 #3
Martin snapped off a bite of bacon and continued with his mouth full. I really had missed my friend and found myself smiling at fond memories as much as I was smiling at Austin. I tried to convince myself that Christmas Eve wasn't the day to be fretting over our dilemma.
Mouth full, Marty continued. “You’ve spent more time on that computer of yours or on your phone than with me since you got here.
” Not true, I thought, and I could feel myself blushing.
“If whoever you’ve been texting with really cares about you, he might appreciate it if you take some time off work. ”
Austin appeared to choke on his coffee. He patted his chest. “Wrong pipe,” he muttered, his eyes going wide my way when his dad wasn’t looking.
“Speaking of your mystery man, are you really going to stick around for New Year’s Eve, or do you have better plans?”
Don’t look at Austin, my brain screamed. My eyes didn’t get the message, and I was looking more at him than his father when I said, “New Year’s Eve at the beach sounds really lovely. I was planning to stay, unless you’re kicking me out, Mart?”
“Really lovely,” Martin mimicked. “I can hear that accent of yours, Randy.”
“Right?” Austin muttered into his coffee as I spoke over him to say, “Come on, Marty, not you, too!”
“Me, too?”
Austin and I exchanged another deer-in-the-headlights stare before I turned to Martin. Unfortunately, I think he caught it because he began looking back and forth between us.
“Let’s just say, you’re not the only person to think I’ve picked up a British accent.”
“I’m not?” he said distractedly, making me decidedly uncomfortable as he continued to take in his son and me. I didn’t know where to look. Looking away from Austin seemed like I was avoiding him; looking at him felt like it would give away the game.
Giving up, I looked at my mug, which was mercifully almost empty. “More coffee,” I muttered.
“Tea!” Austin said, jumping up.
“I asked Mom to buy tea the other day. I’m sorry we don’t have one of those fancy water-warmer thingies.”
“A kettle?”
“Here, let me help you find the tea.”
I stood where I was, unsure about even being alone in the open kitchen with Austin until he was right there with an encouraging smile.
“Oh, yeah, we should have tea somewhere,” Marty contributed. “Try in the back of the tall cabinet.”
Austin was headed that way.
“I don’t mind a cup of coffee in the morning, you know,” I whispered to him, his head in the cabinet. He emerged, smiling, a box of assorted tea bags in hand. I moved to the sink, the noise of the water covering his next words as I rinsed out my mug.
“I do know that, but now you have choices. Like, you know”—he lowered his voice—"spending New Year’s Eve with me or with your mystery man.”
I glanced through the opening to see Martin had meandered to the coffee table in the family room, leaning down for the remote.
The news blared through the speakers for a second before Martin lowered the volume.
“Sorry, the volume was at Christmas music level, definitely not morning news level.” Austin and I waited for him to focus on the TV.
“So why does my Dad think you have a mystery man?” Austin continued to whisper despite the TV still being rather loud.
I stepped to Austin’s other side, taking me away from the opening and closer to him.
“I told him it wasn’t necessary for him to set me up with the toy store guy …”
“Turner.”
“Right, Turner, because I may have already found my own happiness.” I spoke in rushed and hushed tones, mainly just repeating my conversation with Martin, not realizing what I was saying.
Austin leaned in even closer. “You’ve found your happiness?
” His voice caught, and his eyes shone. My heart beat fast in my chest, not sparing a concern for Martin, sitting on the other side of the wall; it beat only for Austin, who was looking at me like …
well, he was looking at me like he loved what I had said.
And I hoped my look back conveyed that I loved him looking at me like that.
Happiness and love and beating hearts, that was all there was in that moment on a Christmas Eve morning as we inched closer together.
“I know it’s too soon to say so, Austin, but I think I may have.”
I had never seen a smile so bright. “Randall.” His hand was on my forearm as we leaned ever closer, something in the back of our minds holding both of us back from kissing.
I don’t know how long we stood like that before I heard a throat clear behind us. Austin and I jumped away from each other, of course, and he awkwardly shoved the box of tea at me. I clutched it to my chest as Stephanie spoke.
“Oh good,” she deadpanned. “You found the tea.”
“Morning, Mom.”
“Good morning, you two. Merry Christmas.”
I turned away from them both. “Tea!” I said, feeling the blush rise in my cheeks.
I headed for the water dispenser at the refrigerator to fill my mug with water before shoving it in the microwave, doing my best to avoid looking at either Austin or his mother.
When I turned around, Austin had returned to the family room, and Stephanie was pouring her own coffee.
Eventually, there was nothing I could do but acknowledge her.
“Steph.” I tried to smile.
Holding her mug in both hands, not unlike her son, Stephanie came right up to me. My back hit the countertop; I was cornered.
She smiled kindly but narrowed her eyes.
“Steph …”
“Randall, I need you to understand that if this is some weird … transference of affection, I will have to put a stop to it. Those two men in there, they both love you, and I love them. I will not have either of them hurt. Do you understand?”
I sputtered in shock as I realized how little I had hidden from her, both back in college and since she’d opened her door to me for the holiday.
I understood Stephanie’s fierce protectiveness and wished I didn’t understand what she was saying. “How did you know?” I blurted, not sure what I was asking about.
“How did I know about your crush on my husband, or how do I know about you and Aus?”
I simply nodded because the answer was both.
“I wasn’t sure back then, Randall. You really were good at hiding it. But was I sure you loved him back then? Absolutely. And when you came out to us the other day, I started thinking about … things. Randall, did you go to England because we got married?”
“What are you guys doing in there? Come drink your coffee, or tea, or whatever,” Marty yelled from the other room. We both ignored him.
“I left to start a new life; does it matter why?”
“It does if you think my son is some kind of substitute for his father,” she whispered.
I looked through the opening. Martin was focused on the TV, and Austin was pretending not to be focused on the two of us.
“Look at them, Steph. They are two incredibly different people. Austin is very much his own person. And I’m sorry if this is hard for you, and God, I will be so, so sorry if this devastates Mart, but I think he’s my person.” I put my hand up, surrendering to the truth.
“I know. Too soon, too young, too much my best friend’s son. Give us time, Steph. Please. Time to work things out between us and time enough to convince the two of you that this isn’t the ruination of your family.”
Stephanie shook her head at me. “Martin was going on and on the other night about how we’re your family now. He has no clue.” She smiled softly. “Don’t hurt them, Randy.”
“That’s the last thing I want to do.” I leaned in. “How did you …”
“Know about you and Aus? Well, for starters, the two of you can’t look at each other without little hearts shooting out of your eyes.
But also, your underpants, which I found entangled in my son’s jeans on the floor of his room, are in the dryer.
” I could feel a zap up the back of my neck and imagined the red mark that people always told me about glowing a crimson red. I shot her a questioning look.
“My son hasn’t worn anything but boxers since he was nine.
For an easygoing kid, it was one thing he was absolutely adamant about.
He came home this week with clean laundry, for once, so I figured you hadn’t lent him those boxer briefs on purpose.
Not too many ways your clothes and his could have gotten mixed up together. ”
“Steph …” My voice held an apology.
“Just don’t hurt them,” she insisted, stepping away. I turned and took my mug from the microwave, standing in front of the sink and watching the Lessand family as they watched TV, the twinkling lights of a Christmas tree punctuating the scene.