Chapter 12
12
NIKO
The bed is so fucking small.
Don’t know why I thought my six-foot-four ass would be comfortable in a single bed to begin with. Over the past few years, I’ve spent more nights in this office than at my home and have woken with kinks in my neck that I’d complain about for days.
I nearly bought a new bed a hundred times but never pulled the trigger. And now, I’m glad I didn’t.
Ivy lies sprawled over my body, her chin propped up on my chest and our legs tangled. I draw my nails up and down her naked back beneath the heavy quilt covering us.
“Did you ever reconcile with your parents?” she asks, her tired eyes focused on me.
It’s late into the night, and my generator is still kicking. We ate ice cream and frozen strawberries for dinner, and I didn’t have it in me to insist we have something with a bit more protein once she grew excited.
“No. I haven’t spoken to them in nearly a decade.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. They weren’t worth knowin’.”
“Then I’m even more sorry. I’m close to my parents, and I know if they chose to back out of my life that I’d really miss them.”
I continue scratching her back, letting the contact soothe me. “Sometimes, it’s easier to cut contact with someone than it is to fight to fix a broken relationship. Doesn’t matter if they’re blood or not.”
“How does it feel knowing that you’re so much wiser than me?” she teases with a kiss to my sternum.
“It’d be fuckin’ embarrasin’ if I wasn’t. I’m nearly double your age.”
I wince at the reminder. Yeah, I might not care enough to let her go, but I’ve done a great job of pretending that she’s not so much younger than me. It won’t affect my life, but it could damage hers.
She taps at the corner of my mouth. “Don’t scowl. I don’t care how old you are.”
“You should. There are assholes everywhere outside this bar.”
“Scared people will think I’m only with you for your money and fame?” she pokes.
“Is that what you’ll be, Ivy? With me once we get out of here?”
Fuck, it sounds as desperate out loud as it feels.
“Well, I would certainly hope that we’d be together after everything that’s happened. I don’t particularly want to raise this baby in a broken home.”
“We have a lot to learn about each other still.”
“And we have the time to learn it.” She adjusts her position until she’s further up my body, her face directly in front of mine. “We skipped about a thousand steps, but we can go back down them and take them together. The only difference now is that we’re having a baby. I’m up for the challenge of getting to know you properly. Are you up to get to know me, too?”
I curl a finger beneath her chin and pull her in for a soft, short kiss. She smiles against my mouth.
“Your place,” I start, diving in like a needy fuck. “Is it big enough for a baby?”
“Babies are pretty small.”
I scowl at her teasing. “Babies are. But I’m not.”
“Oh, you’re really asking about you. I had no clue that’s what you meant.” Her devious smirk says otherwise.
“You’re talkin’ like you’re not too exhausted to be bent over my knee. I’ll have you countin’ how many times I smack your smart ass.”
“I’m never too tired for that.”
I drag the tip of my thumb along the blue ring beneath her eyes. “Not tonight.”
“In that case, I’ll let you know in advance that I wouldn’t be opposed to being woken with sex.”
My chest shakes with a silent laugh. She rests her cheek on my pec, eyes drooping.
“I’ll keep that in mind.”
“My place isn’t big. It’s just somewhere to sleep. My own space. What about yours?”
Despite having come twice in the span of a few hours, I harden beneath her at the prospect of her coming to my place. Seeing her in my bedroom unpacking her things in my closet might send me to an early grave.
“It’s big enough for us. Three bedrooms, a finished basement, and a big backyard,” I say.
Despite her dreamy smile, she tuts her tongue. “For us? You haven’t even taken me out on a date yet, Niko.”
I set my hand flat on her back and hold her against me, my eyes growing heavier and heavier. “What does a perfect date look like for Ivy Bell?”
“Honestly?”
“Mmm.”
Her eyes scroll over my face as she thinks, her mouth twisting in an adorable way. “I’ve always wanted to be taken out somewhere I can be shown off. Not in an over-the-top way, but I want to be on someone’s arm and have them be proud to have me there. It doesn’t even have to be anywhere fancy. We could go to a movie theatre to watch a cheesy film in the middle of the day or take a stroll through the park. I just want to feel wanted. Desired, I guess. Especially on a date.”
“I usually save the movie theatre for the second date, but I can make that work.”
Her eyes crinkle at the corners as she giggles. “You mentioned being older than me, but when you let loose enough to joke around, you seem younger. Like you don’t have so much on your mind.”
“You bring that out of me.”
“So, I should be thanking myself, then?”
I hum, burying a hand in her hair and massaging her scalp. “Other than knittin’, what do you do outside of work?”
“Hey, not so fast. You didn’t tell me what your perfect date looks like.”
“You want to know what I like to do on a date?”
She rolls her eyes. “Obviously.”
“I could crack a beer and sit in an empty room with you and be content. I’ve never put thought into that, considerin’ how little I’ve dated.”
“Not even casually?”
“I’ve been so focused on this bar that I haven’t put effort into it. Even casually.”
“You’ve slept with women, though. Like, one-night stands. Surely, I haven’t been your only one.”
“Spent a lot of time with my dick in my hand, angel. Never cared much for a quick fuck. Not before you. And even then, I wanted far more than somethin’ quick.”
I gave that shit up a long time ago. It’s usually more effort than it’s worth. The risk of an awkward encounter in this town, especially in this bar after sleeping with the wrong woman, has kept me pretty damn celibate over the past decade.
Ivy blinks at me, disbelief burning in her eyes. “You’re being straight with me? Completely?”
“I give you my word. Before you, I hadn’t slept with anyone in a real long time,” I confirm.
“Wow.”
“I’m not a fuckin’ Casanova.”
“Maybe not. But you’re incredibly good-looking and successful. That has to draw plenty of women in your direction.”
“I’ve never cared much for attention.”
She blows a raspberry. “I wasn’t expecting that.”
“Should I be offended?”
“What? No!” She balks, scrunching her nose. “I just, I mean, I’ve slept with a few guys after Travis. Rebounds, you know? Especially after everything that led to the breakup, I wanted to know I wasn’t some hideous monster and could feel attractive. Even to a stranger. It didn’t ever mean anything more than sex, but . . .”
“What you did before you came into this bar three weeks doesn’t matter. You’re not goin’ to be sleepin’ with anyone but me from now on, so at least they got a taste before I took you as mine,” I grunt.
“You know when we were having sex and I . . .” She trails off nervously, ducking her head.
“When you squirted all over my cock, angel?” I guess.
“Oh, my god. Is that what that was? I’ve never done that before.”
“Mm. Damn right it was. Sexiest thing I’ve ever seen. Took everythin’ in me not to work for more.”
Her eyes soften, some of her shyness fading. “You’re just a bit too good to be true.”
“Been thinkin’ that about you for months.”
“For months,” she echoes, nuzzling her cheek against me. “That’s still hard for me to believe.”
“Which part? That I was wantin’ my son’s girl or that I finally got you in the end?”
“All of it.”
“Wouldn’t change a thing now that we’re here,” I declare.
“I would. Even just coming back sooner after the last time could have made a big difference. Three weeks is a lot of wasted time.”
“Not compared to the next few decades.”
“Your confidence in us is admirable.”
“Maybe.”
“I like it. It’s comforting. A reminder that I’m not in this all by myself.”
“You’ll never feel like that again, angel. Not with me.”
“I know,” she whispers, blue eyes disappearing behind heavy lids. “Do you want a boy or a girl?”
I pause, considering the options. “A girl would be different. Not sure I’d be any good raisin’ a daughter, though.”
“I think you’d be a great girl dad. You’re burly and grumbly enough for it. She’d never dare bring any boys home to meet you.”
“So, I’d be a scary dad? Not sure that’s the best thing.”
She flutters her eyes open, snagging mine. “You wouldn’t be scary to her. I have a feeling you’d put her up on a pedestal and treat her like a princess. Kinda like how you treat me.”
Something unsettled grows peaceful in my chest. “Yeah, I think you might be right.”
“I’m always right.”
I huff a laugh. “Sure.”
Ivy slips a hand down to rest at my side before digging a nail into it. I jerk to the side and tug gently at the roots of her hair.
Her giggle twinkles through the room before she shuts her eyes again, growing quiet. “Travis’s mom . . . is she going to be upset about this? About us?”
“She’ll have somethin’ to say, but I don’t care enough about her opinion to listen.”
My answer seems to settle her. She holds me tight and snuggles impossibly closer, as if seeking more of my warmth. It’s blazing beneath the blanket and her soft body, but I’d rather sweat to death than release her.
The heat is doing wonders for my exhaustion, anyway. I’ve never been one to fall asleep easily or dream deeply. I’m restless and can be woken by the lightest footstep or breath that doesn’t belong to me.
When Travis was a baby, I’d sleep in the hallway outside of his room with the door cracked open to listen to his breathing. I’d never slept worth a shit before he was born, and once he came along, it only got worse. Twenty-one years later and I’m still not fixed.
Maybe Ivy can be the cure. She is for every other fucking thing wrong with me.
“Do you think the power will be back on tomorrow?” she asks, her voice soft with sleep.
“Not sure, angel.”
“I wanted to do the Christmas market tomorrow. I have a whole bin full of blankets and slippers that I’ve made to sell.”
“If the snow doesn’t stop, you can sell them during the event. We can have a pop-up market.”
“You think so?”
“I’m the boss, aren’t I?”
The corner of her mouth twitches with a smile. “In a way.”
“You’ll have a spot to sell your things, Ivy, and you’ll sell out. I’ll make sure of it.”
Even if I have to haul every single person in town down to buy from her until there’s not one fucking piece of yarn left.