Chapter 19 A Killer Christmas
nineteen
a killer christmas
a week later
Fallon
The week after Foley's death had been a whirlwind. A week since the truth of my life had unfurled. A week since the world knew Julian was mine, not Brady's.
Christmas morning arrived, and the snow fell fast and heavy, thick flakes blanketing everything in white.
I sat on the porch, nursing my coffee and drawing on a blunt, trying to still my frayed nerves.
Hitch and War were inside with Brady, orchestrating the final preparations for Julian's wake-up call and his inevitable descent downstairs.
Alone on the porch, I replayed the last week’s events, the revelations still swirling in my mind, making me dizzy. I knew moving forward wouldn't be easy, but I was ready to face whatever came. The truth was out, exposed for all to see. Now, I just had to learn how to navigate it.
Lost in thought, I finally inhaled a deep breath, and as I did so, the front door opened, revealing Hitch and War, their faces lit with smiles.
They settled beside me, sandwiching me between them in the way they knew always soothed me.
Hitch cupped my face, his thumb tracing my cheek as he leaned in and stole a kiss, deep and fiery, that sent a jolt of delicious weakness through my legs.
Thank God I was already seated; I wasn’t sure I could have stood.
Before I could catch my breath, War took over, his kiss urgent, a low moan escaping his throat.
"Merry Christmas," he murmured, wiping away a stray bit of spit off my lips as he grinned at me.
"Merry Christmas," I echoed, then turned to Hitch and said it again.
Contentment bloomed in my chest. Happiness.
Yet, something was still missing. I passed my coffee and blunt to them, then rose and hurried inside, my feet pounding on the stairs as I made my way to Julian's room.
He was sitting up in bed, his face radiant with a wide, welcoming smile, his small arms outstretched, begging to be held.
I rushed to him and scooped his precious, innocent self into my arms, inhaling the comforting scent that always calmed me down.
"Merry Christmas, baby boy," I whispered, peppering his face with kisses I couldn't seem to stop.
He giggled, his small hands grabbing my cheeks, and returned the gesture, kissing the tip of my nose. "Merry Christmas, Fallon!" He squealed, then rested his head, a tangle of golden curls, on my shoulder.
Carrying him out of the room and down the stairs, a pang of sadness pierced my heart.
The time to tell him the truth was getting closer.
He deserved to know I was his mother, not just his auntie.
I knew I'd find the right words eventually, maybe today, maybe another day.
Today, I couldn't wait for the utter joy on his face, for reveling in the abundant love that surrounded him.
I settled onto the couch with Hitch and War, watching Brady and Eliza, a picture of adorable affection.
As dysfunctional as we might be, we were overflowing with love.
No matter what the future held, I knew we would survive it.
We had each other, and that, I knew, was a bond that would never be broken.
The low hum of Christmas carols filled the air, a familiar soundtrack to the chaos and contentment that swirled around me.
Julian, still nestled in my arms, began to fuss, his attention drawn to the shimmering tree ablaze with lights.
I glanced at the others, a silent agreement passing between us. It was time.
"Come on, little man," I said, my voice barely a whisper, though he still seemed to understand.
I rose, careful not to jostle him, and walked towards the twinkling spectacle. Hitch and War fell in beside me, Brady and Eliza close behind, their gazes mirroring the anticipation that bubbled inside me.
We reached the tree, its branches laden with ornaments, and I gently set Julian down in front of it. He wobbled, giggling, as he took in the sight. Then, I knelt beside him, my heart hammering against my ribs. This was it. The moment I had both longed for and dreaded.
"Julian," I began, my voice thick with emotion, "do you know how much we all love you?"
His eyes, wide and innocent, met mine. "Yes!" he chirped, his grin impossibly bright.
"Well," I continued, reaching out to brush a stray curl from his forehead, "there’s something very special about you. Something that makes us all love you even more." I paused, taking a deep breath, and gestured towards myself. "You know how you call me Auntie Fallon?"
He nodded, his brow furrowing slightly.
"Well," I said, my voice shaking with a mixture of joy and nervousness, "Actually, Julian, I'm not your auntie. I'm..." I swallowed hard, the word catching in my throat. "I'm your Mommy."
The room seemed to hold its breath. Julian's expression shifted, his eyes flitting between me and the others, searching for understanding. He tilted his head, a small frown creasing his brow.
Then, with a sudden burst of pure, unadulterated joy, he squealed, "Mommy!" and launched himself into my arms, hugging me with all his might.
Relief washed over me in a tidal wave. The tension in the room dissipated, replaced by a chorus of sighs and soft laughter.
Hitch and War each reached out, their hands resting on my shoulders, their eyes reflecting the same overwhelming love I felt.
Brady and Eliza stepped forward as well, enveloping us in a group hug.
"Mommy," Julian repeated, burrowing his face into my neck.
"Yes, baby boy," I whispered, holding him tight. "Yes, I'm your Mommy. And I love you more than words can say."
As Christmas Day unfolded, surrounded by the people I loved most, I knew that whatever challenges the future held, we would face them together.
With Julian in my arms and Hitch, War, Brady, and Eliza by my side, I felt a sense of belonging and protection that I had never experienced before.
I had finally found my place, my family, and my truth.
And for the first time in a long time, I knew everything would be alright.