Chapter Eight #2
When she opened her mouth, he picked up one of the boxes of lights to distract her. “Where do we start with these?”
As he had hoped, she allowed herself to be sidetracked. “We should probably test the lights first. It’s so frustrating when you have gone to all the trouble to hang them and then find out they have a bad bulb or something.”
“Right. Nothing worse than a bad bulb.”
They spent considerable time checking each of the light strings, which were all in remarkably good condition, then they set to the work wrapping the lights around the branches of the small fir tree near the front porch of Kim’s cottage.
She held the lights, untwisting them from the holder while he worked to wrap them around the branches.
“So tell me about your ex. How did the two of you meet?”
She flashed him a look and hesitated long enough to make him realize she did not want to answer. After a long pause she sighed.
“We both went to school in Boise. I didn’t know him at all but his roommate, Josh, went to high school with me.
My car broke down and was in the shop but I wanted to come home for the weekend, since it was my mom’s birthday.
I asked Josh if he was coming back to Shelter Springs for the weekend so I could catch a ride.
He wasn’t but said his roommate, who was from the nearby town of Haven Point, would be happy to give me a ride. ”
“Don’t tell me. It was love at first sight.”
She made a face. “Not even close. I disliked him at first. Maybe I should have trusted that first impression.”
“Why didn’t you?”
She shrugged. “Because he was charming and funny and good-looking. And I was lonely. It was my first time away from home, my first time living on my own. Hannah had gone out of state for school to a college that had a better music therapy program. I almost went with her but our parents thought we might benefit by living apart for awhile.”
“Why is that? Did the two of you fight all the time?”
“Never, actually. I think that was part of the problem. Our lives were pretty entwined as we were growing up. We had the same friends, we did the same extracurricular activities, we even double-dated most of the time.”
“Is that a bad thing?”
She shook her head, unspooling more lights for him as he moved to a higher branch. “Hannah is my best friend and I adore her,” she said after a moment. “But without question, she has always had the stronger personality. I think Mom wanted us—particularly me —to not be so codependent, you know?”
“I get it. I’ve been in squadrons with guys who couldn’t function unless they were paired up. They worked great together but struggled anytime they didn’t have their battle buddy.”
“I don’t know if we were quite that bad, but I was always more comfortable with Hannah nearby. Going away was tough, though we texted and called each constantly.”
She sighed again as she picked up another light string for him to connect to the first one. “And then I met Troy my junior year and ended up transferring all that codependence to him. We married the year after I graduated.”
“How long were you together?”
“Nearly eight years. I knew he was selfish and immature from the jump. I didn’t like it, but tried to tell myself his good qualities outweighed the bad. He was a hard worker, he was nice to my friends, he treated me well. Then I had Lydia and everything changed.”
“You had to grow up and he didn’t.”
She looked at him with a startled expression, as if she hadn’t expected that kind of perceptiveness.
“Exactly. He still wanted to go on like he always had, partying on the weekends, planning trips together without considering what we would do with Lydia, spending money we didn’t have.
I started to feel more like his mother than his wife.
And I started treating him that way, unfortunately. ”
“I hope you don’t blame yourself for the breakdown of your marriage. Your ex sounds like a real man-child.”
“We were both at fault. It would be only too easy to throw all the blame on Troy. He’s the one who cheated, after all. But I wasn’t a very good partner to him, either, toward the end. I’m not sure if I even liked him by that point, let alone loved him.”
“Sounds like he didn’t make it easy.” He had zero respect for any man who could pursue his own selfish desires, even knowing the devastation his actions would cause those he had vowed to honor and protect.
“No. He didn’t. Regardless, he will always be Lydia’s dad and I have to maintain a good relationship with him and his family, for her sake if nothing else.”
“That must be tough.”
“It’s not the life I had envisioned when I was a girl with my head stuffed full of dreams. But I wouldn’t change it for anything.”
She smiled at him with no trace of bitterness or regret, cheeks flushed from the cold. He suddenly had a wild urge to stop what he was doing, step closer to her and kiss her, right here in the winter sunlight.
The impulse both shocked and unnerved him.
“So what about you, Lieutenant Commander Caldwell,” she said, heedless of his inappropriate thoughts. “What’s your story?”
He tried to rein in the impulse to focus on the job at hand. His instinct was to make some kind of flip remark, but Holly had revealed truths about herself that must have taken courage to share. He couldn’t simply ignore her question.
“Not much to tell, really. And probably very little that you don’t already know from Kim. She and I were military brats. Our dad was a pilot in the air force and we lived all over the world. The Philippines, Germany, Korea.”
“And now you’re also a helicopter pilot, carrying on that tradition.”
He frowned. “My dad flew fighter jets in the air force. I’m a navy helicopter pilot. Totally different worlds.”
She rolled her eyes. “Not to us civilians. Sorry. If you weren’t following in your father’s footsteps, what made you decide to become a naval pilot?”
He shrugged. “I really love flying. I always have. Maybe some of that came from growing up on bases around the world and being surrounded by aircraft but I think I would have loved it anyway. It’s part of who I am. Does that sound weird?”
“Not at all. My sister, Hannah, knew she wanted to be a music therapist from the first time she ever met one, when we both had our tonsils out in Boise when we were nine. I always envied her for knowing what she wanted out of life.”
“I got my pilot’s license when I was sixteen and have been flying ever since.”
“You didn’t want to fly jets in the air force?”
“That was my dad’s thing. Not mine. I can fly an airplane and I was a candidate to fly Tomcats. Those are navy fighter jets. But I decided I prefer helicopters. They’re the Swiss Army knives of the sky.”
“The Swiss Army knives?”
“Right. Fighter pilots have one job. We have dozens. Search and rescue, special ops support, cargo transport, medical evac. You name it.”
“I suppose that’s true.”
“Besides, helicopter pilots are sexier. Fighter pilots think they’re the coolest because they go fast and high but helicopter pilots know it takes skill to hover in one place. It’s not how fast you get there, it’s about how smoothly you make it to your destination.”
Her quick flash of a smile became a full-on laugh and Ryan could only stare at her.
He had thought her pretty during the previous interactions. But right now, with her nose pink from the cold and her eyes bright with laughter, she was stunning.
The desire that rose in him took him completely by surprise.
He wanted to pull off her beanie and dig his hands in her hair, to pull her body against his, to lean down and cover her laugh with his mouth so he could savor all her sweetness and warmth.
She gazed up at him and something passed between them in that moment, a subtle awareness. She caught her breath, her lips parted slightly. He didn’t stop to think it through. He probably couldn’t have formed a coherent thought anyway. He only knew he wanted to kiss her. That he had to kiss her.
An instant before their mouths would have connected, he heard the sound of a car pulling into the driveway.
Jerked back to his senses, he eased away, reeling at what he had almost done.
He had been inches away from kissing Holly Moore, from tasting her to see if she was as soft and luscious as she looked.
That was totally unlike him. He certainly dated, but only women who wanted the same things he did. Not soft, vulnerable single mothers with tender hearts that were begging to be broken.
He turned, telling himself he was grateful for the interruption, and was astonished when his father stepped out of the late-model pickup truck, went around to the passenger side and pulled out a huge basket.
“What’s this?” he asked as Doug walked up the sidewalk toward the house. The suspicion in his voice made it sound like he thought his father was hand delivering an improvised explosive device.
Doug gave him a tentative smile. “A few meals for you and Audrey. Neighbors and friends from church have been bringing meals over for Diane since the accident and our fridge is full to bursting. I also made a couple of soups Diane particularly likes. I thought you might be able to use some of this before it goes to waste. If not, you can freeze it all for Kim when she gets home.”
Ryan wasn’t sure what astonished him more, the idea of his father making his stepmother’s favorite soup for her or that Doug could be thoughtful enough to consider that Ryan and Audrey might enjoy some of their excess.
Diane’s doing, he expected.
“That is surprisingly generous of you,” he said.
Doug frowned briefly at his tone but pushed it away to offer Holly a polite smile. “Mrs. Moore. How nice to see you again.”
“Hello, Colonel Caldwell. How is Diane?”
“Better. She’s starting to get around on her crutches.”
“I’m so relieved to hear that. I’ve been worried about her.”
“She has loved all the flowers she has been sent from your store. Other people have brought her arrangements from different florists and a few bouquets from the big box stores here in Shelter Springs, but yours are always her favorites.”
“That’s always lovely to hear. Thank you.”
“Holly and her daughter were kind enough to help us decorate the house for the holidays,” Ryan said.
“Great idea. Kim will love that when she returns.”
“Can I help you with the basket?” Holly asked.
Doug shook his head. “I’ve got it. I’d like to check on Audrey while I’m here. See how she’s doing.”
Because you think I’m incapable of properly caring for her?
He thought the words but bit them back before they could spill out. Why did he revert to being a surly teenager whenever he was around his father?
“Sure. She’ll be happy to see you,” he replied.
Holly opened the door before Ryan could do it.
“Thank you,” his father said and carried the basket inside.
He followed his father, where they found Audrey and Lydia sitting on the floor with opened boxes around them.
Audrey’s features lit up and she jumped up.
“Grandpa!” She rushed to his father’s side. Doug set the basket down on the coffee table and hugged her tightly.
“There’s my girl. Looks like you’ve been busy, making the place look festive.”
“We’re trying. Holly and Lydia came to help us.”
“That is very kind of them.”
“How’s Grandma Di?” she asked.
Ryan’s flash of resentment annoyed him. No, Diane wasn’t really Audrey’s grandmother, only her grandfather’s wife, but she clearly loved his niece.
Audrey never had the chance to know her grandmother. He couldn’t fault her for forging a close relationship with Diane, who was a lovely, kind, generous woman.
“She is doing better every day, though a little tired of having to sit around. I think we’ve watched every Hallmark Christmas movie ever made.”
“I don’t think that’s possible, unless you starting watching in July,” Holly said with a smile. “Why don’t I put these away for you while you visit with your father?”
She reached for the basket but Ryan picked it up instead. “I’ll help,” he answered. “Audrey and Lydia can entertain my father.”
She sent him a swift look but didn’t argue, only followed him as he headed for the kitchen.