Chapter Seventeen #2
“You don’t have to serve me,” he said, his voice gruff, guiltily aware he should have offered to help him prepare the meal. “Give this one to Diane.”
“Hers is in the other room. It’s next.”
Ryan’s stepmother gave Doug a warm smile. “I can’t eat carrots. I have a weird reaction to them so whenever your father makes chicken noodle soup, he pulls them out for me.”
Ryan said nothing. This version of his father, caring and considerate, was so very different from the remote, distracted man Doug had been when Ryan’s mother was on hospice.
Ryan waited until his father returned with another tray for his wife and then made one more trip to carry in a tray for himself before taking a spoonful of soup. It was comforting and flavorful but his lingering resentment made it tough for him to enjoy the meal.
He was grateful Diane kept the conversation going, asking about Audrey’s schoolwork and her babysitting job for Holly.
“And what about Christmas?” she asked. “Are you ready with everything, in case Kim doesn’t make it home in time to be with Audrey?”
“I think so. That’s one of the things Kim and I talked about the other day.
She had done most of the shopping for Audrey already but had a few last-minute things she asked me to pick up.
I think we’ll be okay, though of course it would be better for Audrey if Kim could be home for the holidays. I’m a poor substitute.”
“I’m sure that’s not true. From everything Audrey has told me in our text exchanges, you’ve done a wonderful job of caring for her. I believe she called you solid.”
“I suppose that’s something.”
“Your father said you had Holly Moore from Evergreen and Ivy help you decorate Kim’s house.”
“Yes. You should see it. The place looks like something out of a magazine.”
“Holly is so good at that kind of thing. Some people have that skill for taking something plain and ordinary and making it sparkle. Holly is definitely one of those people.”
He could not disagree. She made each moment sparkle, too.
“And you’re going with her to the wedding of Kristine Moore tomorrow.”
“That’s right. We made a trade. She decorated the house and I agreed to be her plus-one for the wedding.”
“We’re friendly with Kristine’s parents and were invited to the reception. I’m so sorry we won’t be able to go.”
“I’m sure they understand,” Doug put in.
“And how are you keeping busy while you’re in town?” Diane asked.
“I’ve been reading a lot and working on rehabbing my knee.” He paused. “Actually, yesterday I was able to deliver flowers for Holly’s store, since her two other employees besides Kim both had the flu.”
Both his father and stepmother looked startled at that bit of information.
“You like her, don’t you?” Diane said, looking delighted.
He thought of the kiss they had shared the night before. Of her soft skin and her sweet response and how he was beginning to feel an overpowering urge to tuck her and Lydia against him and keep them safe and warm forever.
“Sure. She’s great.”
“I mean, really like her.”
He did not want to be having this conversation right now with his father and his stepmother but Ryan couldn’t figure out an easy way to extricate himself.
He certainly wasn’t about to tell them he was very much afraid like wasn’t the right word. His feelings were beginning to run much deeper than that.
“What does it matter whether I... like her or not?” he said, his tone blunt. “It’s not as if I’m looking for a relationship with her.”
“Why not?”
He shifted his gaze to his father, who was watching their interchange with interest.
“You’re not getting any younger,” Doug went on. “Life is fleeting. Before you know it, you wake up and you’re my age.”
“You’re sixty-four years young, my dear,” Diane told him.
“Yes. And I spent too many of those years focusing on the wrong things. You’re mortal, like the rest of us, son.
I would think your recent hard landing would remind you of that.
Maybe it’s time you start thinking about what you want to do with your life when you can’t fly helos in the military anymore. ”
He frowned, that resentment swelling again. “You really think I would be happy settling down in a small town in Idaho, going to school board meetings, barbecuing on the weekend, shoveling my neighbors’ walks?”
“I never thought I would be. But here I am.”
Okay, the picture he painted for his father actually did sound appealing. But that wasn’t the life he had created. That his father so readily agreed was only further proof that Doug obviously knew nothing about him or what he wanted.
“My life is fine the way it is,” he said, his voice terse. “Exactly how I want it.”
Doug studied him for a long moment and looked as if he wanted to say more. To his relief, Diane stepped in and smoothly changed the subject.
A short time later, Ryan rose. “Thank you for lunch. The soup was tasty. But I should probably grab what I came for and take off soon, as I have a few other errands before Audrey is home from school.”
His father rose as well. “Come back and take a look in my closet.”
Wishing again that he had come up with a better option, he followed his father to the large bedroom with big windows overlooking the lake and the mountains.
He followed Doug into the walk-in closet. As he might have expected, it was neatly organized, with items hanging by type and color on what was clearly the colonel’s side. The other side was a little more messy, full of the floral prints and bright colors Diane obviously favored.
“I have three suits, charcoal, navy and black. What’s your pleasure?”
He studied the options his father presented him. “Why do you have three suits?”
“I wore one of them when I married your stepmother. Diane helped me buy the other two. She likes me to dress up when we go to church or to the opera in Boise. I also have a couple of sport jackets that might work.”
“I’m leaning toward the charcoal suit or one of the sport jackets.”
“Why don’t you try them on and see which one fits better?”
The last thing he wanted to do was to have a fashion show with his father.
“If you don’t mind, I’ll take the suit and a few of the jackets and decide tomorrow.”
“You can take all of them, if you want. I won’t be going anywhere where I need a suit until Diane is feeling better.”
“Right.”
“What about everything else? Shoes, ties?”
He found the colonel’s eagerness to help more than a little disconcerting.
“Not necessary. I bought a shirt, shoes and a couple of ties the other day. I figured I could always use those once I’m back in San Diego.
I would have bought a new suit as well but I wasn’t sure if I had time for it to be altered.
Anyway, it didn’t really make sense since I have a perfectly good suit hanging in my closet in San Diego, plus my dress uniforms.”
“Makes sense.”
“I should have had one of my buddies ship my suit here but by the time I thought of it, there wasn’t time.”
“No need. We’re a similar size. I’m sure mine will fit you.”
This might be the longest almost-cordial conversation he and his father had exchanged in a long time. Maybe ever. How weird that it didn’t involve flying or the military but instead was focused on fashion, of all things.
“So. About Holly Moore.”
He tensed, feeling defensive all over again.
“What about her?”
His father seemed to be choosing his words carefully, which he found unusual from a man who usually plowed ahead, damn the consequences.
“If you like her, I don’t think you need to rule out a relationship completely.”
“We live a thousand miles apart. And I’m likely to be reassigned back east next year.”
“You don’t have to be. You could get out. I always have room for a good helicopter pilot at Caldwell Aviation. We get requests for heli-skiing all the time and it would be great to have you working with me.”
What a nightmare that would be, working for his father.
“Besides,” Doug went on, “eventually I would like to retire. When that day comes, I would love to be able to pass the torch to my son.”
“We can hardly be in the same room for ten minutes without bickering. Can you imagine us trying to run a business together?”
Doug paused, his hands in his pockets. “That’s my fault,” he finally said, his voice low and resigned. “I’m more sorry than I can say for that. I’m trying to do better.”
He stared, shocked. When was the last time he had heard his father apologize for anything? Had he ever ?
“This accident of Diane’s has been a real wake-up call. I could have lost her. I don’t want to spend the rest of our time together on this planet with work as my only focus. I want to travel with her, work on our garden, enjoy our retirement together.”
He had to bite his tongue to keep from asking why the death of his first wife, the mother of his children, hadn’t provided the same kind of wake-up call.
Somehow he managed to hold back the words. This wasn’t the time or the moment.
“Think about it,” his father went on. “That’s all I ask. This area is a great place to settle down, with plenty of recreational opportunities and really good people. I’m certain you would be happy here.”
Once more, his father was trying to rearrange Ryan’s life to suit his own purposes. He was thinking about retirement and wanted his son to uproot his life and his career plans to take over the business Doug had started here—whether that was what his son wanted or not.
If he let himself fall for Holly—okay, fall harder for Holly—and tried to figure out a way to mesh their lives, he would be playing right into his father’s plans.
He considered that yet one more reason to make sure that didn’t happen.
“I need to go,” he said, grabbing hold of the suit hangers. “Thank you for the loan. Whatever jacket I end up wearing, I’ll run it to the dry cleaner on Monday and get it back to you as soon as it’s done.”
“It’s fine. Again, I’m in no hurry.”
That made one of them. Suddenly Ryan couldn’t wait to get back to his carefully organized life, away from this morass of emotions every time he was with his father, away from this attraction to a woman he couldn’t have, away from the seductive appeal of this area of the world.
After saying goodbye to Diane again, he hurried out of the comfortable house beside the lake, loaded the suits in the back seat of his pickup and headed back toward Shelter Springs.