4. Four
FOUR
ALDEN
When I finished stoking the fire, I expected to see Stella glaring at me. Instead, she was folded on the couch as if trying to be as small as possible.
I had to do a double take, just like when she’d apologized. Had I been sent back in time to when she was in middle school?
“Stella?” I asked.
Her eyes flickered to me. “What?”
“Are you okay?”
“Don’t pretend to care.”
My throat went dry. I did care. Far more than I should.
What I should do was let her have her privacy. Helping her might make her do anything else but hate me, and that was the last thing I needed.
Nick was going to have to kill me, because when Stella Summers was like this , I wasn’t going to sit on my ass and do nothing.
“Amma mentioned you were in a bad mood. What happened?”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Okay.” I didn’t blame her for her distrust, but I couldn’t keep my mouth shut as I saw her curl in on herself further. “Don’t do that.”
“Do what?”
“Try to make yourself smaller because I’m here. Take up space. Be yourself.”
“You don’t like it when I’m myself.”
“Now I know I never said that.”
Her eyes shot to me, but I held firm. I remembered the exact words of my text. I’d replayed them for years.
“Fine. Then other people have.”
“Then they’re fucking idiots. All of them.”
“You think so?”
“Absolutely.”
Slowly, she smiled, and it felt like winning the Super Bowl.
“Fine. Maybe they were. But for the record, I think you’re also an idiot.”
“Why?”
“Because you chose to be stuck with me.”
I’d been stuck with her my entire life, even when I tried not to be. But she followed me, even when she wanted nothing to do with my life .
“We can say I couldn’t get the truck out if it makes you feel any better.”
“So we lie?”
“I’m good at lying.”
“Good at lying? Since when?—”
The wind interrupted her words as it hit the house with a vengeance. The wood creaked and my eyes moved to the windows. Amma took care of her house, but it was old, and any of the glass could shatter if the wind hit it right.
As the seconds turned into minutes listening to the powerful winds, I prayed Amma’s ancient cottage held up.
Then an arm hit mine. “This feels like the beginning of a horror movie.”
Stella had gotten up and shuffled closer to me. I had to do a double take again to be sure I was seeing things right. It had been years since she was this close. Her hair was almost touching the sleeve of my flannel and her arm was a mere inch from mine.
I shook off the shock of it. She wasn’t close by because she wanted to be. She was here because she was scared.
“Heavy winds were predicted,” I said lowly. “Don’t worry.”
Stella came an inch closer. Now, her whole arm was pressed into my side, and I had to grit my teeth and avert my eyes. “Then why are you glaring at the walls like they’re offending you? ”
“I’m listening to be sure the windows don’t break. Amma has very old ones.” And trying not to think too much about how close you are.
“What if a tree falls?”
“It’s a possibility.”
Her eyes went to the wall. Before I could stop myself, my hand went to her back. Stella’s breaths came out in stutters and she didn’t pull away.
I shouldn’t be touching her like this, and I definitely shouldn’t feel any sort of pleasure that she let me do it, but a white-hot heat erupted from where my hand touched her. It made it impossible to pull away.
We stayed still as the wind pounded on the house.
When it died down, only silence remained.
“Everything is so quiet,” she said in a hushed tone.
The second she did, my phone went off.
“Okay, never mind.”
I took out my phone and nearly cursed. Nick was calling, and it reminded me that I’d let Stella get far too close.
“I need to take this,” I said, stepping away from her. Her hand reached out, and I dodged it, heart in my throat. “I’ll be in the kitchen. Stay here.”
I walked away before I could convince myself to stay.
Nick needed to know who I was stuck with. I’d skated around Stella for years, never letting myself get too close, but there was no way I could do that while stuck in the same house as she was. He wasn’t going to be happy, but it wasn’t in my plan to let anything happen .
I hoped he believed me.
“Alden, did you see the snow on the ground? I’ve never seen anything come down so fast!” He sounded childlike, and I didn’t blame him. He loved the snow.
“I’m unfortunately not seeing snow. Only ice.”
“Oh, that’s not as fun. Where are you?”
I closed my eyes, readying myself for his anger. I felt like I was twenty-two again, about to tell him I had slept with Stella. That had been one of the worst things I’d ever said to him, and while I promised myself I would never put myself in a position to have him that mad at me again, it seemed fate had other plans.
“Amma’s house.”
Nick went silent. “You’re at Amma’s house? Funny. I just sent Stella there.”
“Yep. She’s here too.”
“Amma must have her hands full.”
“She would if she were here. But she got stuck at the neighbor’s house.” There was only silence on the line. I couldn’t wait for his response, so I kept talking. “Anyway, I don’t know if I can get out of here, and this cold front is supposed to last for three days at the very least.”
“So it’s just you and Stella?”
I winced. My dedication to staying away from Stella had ensured that Nick and I could remain friends, but now everything was in danger.
“Yes.”
I waited for him to snap at me to stay the hell away from her. Sure, he’d matured a lot over time, but this was still his little sister who he’d do anything for.
“Do you guys have food and water?” he asked instead. I hadn’t even thought of it yet. I’d been too focused on Stella to check.
“Y-yeah.” I checked the fridge. “Amma and Stella cooked a little, and it looks like Amma has a pile of ...” I went to the counter where boxes from a local bakery were stacked. “What are these, muffins?”
“Blueberry or chocolate chip?”
“Is that what’s important right now?”
“Your sanity is important, and if Stella doesn’t have chocolate chip muffins, she might kill you. Maybe that’ll happen either way.”
“You seem ... calm about this.”
“I’m putting up a front,” he said, an awkward chuckle escaping him. “I thought this storm would be kind of fun, but now I’m hearing the news say people could die, and I find it far less fun.”
“We should be fine here. The stove is burning, so it won’t be too bad when we lose power.”
“ When you lose power?”
“It’s inevitable out here. If it hadn’t been going when I got here, I would have made sure it was.”
“You guys will be okay, right? Like the stove will keep you warm and stuff?”
“We’ll be fine. I know how to survive in this. I’ll keep her safe. ”
“Good.” He let out a breath of air. “Hearing about these kinds of things is way less scary than living them.”
“I knew it would be bad the second I saw the radar. It’s why I came to help Amma. We just lost track of time.”
“Amma does that to people. Take care of her, okay?”
“Who, Amma? She’s not here?—”
“No, Stella.”
Take care of Stella? What? Had he truly forgotten what happened?
“I will,” I said. “Like she’s my own sister.”
I hated calling her that. I certainly didn’t feel any sort of familial feelings for Stella at all, but I would pretend to if it meant Nick knew how serious I was about staying away from her.
“Er, yeah. Sure. Listen, I’ve gotta go. I was supposed to pick Stella’s stuff up from her ex’s apartment, but now I’m stuck in traffic on an ice rink.”
“Stella’s ex ?”
“Long story. Hey, if you manage not to piss her off, maybe she’ll tell you. Talk to you later, Alden!” And then he hung up.
And I was left confused, waiting for the warning that hadn’t come.
Obviously, the years had made Nick trust me again—so much so that he didn’t even feel the need to state the obvious.
I wouldn’t betray that trust. Not again. Despite my displaced attraction for her, I wouldn’t act on any of it. I’d give her the space she needed and stay out of the way.
Easy enough.