20. Twenty
TWENTY
“You seem to like that corner a lot.” Amma’s voice made me jump. “Just like you admired the top of the ladder just a few moments ago.”
Heat crept up my neck. I should have known Amma would watch where I was looking. I’d tried to keep in check, but there was no avoiding looking at Stella anymore. It had been just she and I for damn near five days, and it wasn’t enough.
It never would be enough.
I thought I could play it cool like I did for the last seven years, but now I knew her too well. I’d been sorely wrong.
“What corner?” I hoped playing dumb would help.
“Whichever one Stella is in.”
Nope. Amma read right through me. “It’s hard to spend several days taking care of someone and then all of that changing. ”
“Oh, I’m sure. It’s also her .”
“I don’t?—”
“Don’t deny it. You’ve looked at her for a long time. Do you think I can’t see it? I’m old but I’m not blind.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Sorry?” She laughed. “Ha! Don’t be sorry. I think it’s a good thing.”
“You would be the first.”
“Some people used to be protective of her, sure. But you’re a good person. Everyone here knows that. You’ll treat Stella right.”
“You really think that?”
“Yes,” she said as if it were obvious. “In fact, it always could have happened, but I’d especially understand if it happened while you were trapped together.”
“Good to know.”
She leaned in. “ Did it happen while you were trapped together?”
I almost told her, but then I remembered what I’d asked Stella to do, and it was only fair if I did the same.
“I can’t say.”
“You have to give an old lady something.”
“I need to be sure Stella is cool with what I tell.”
“Good answer,” she said. “But not the one I wanted.”
“Sorry to disappoint. Though I do have to say thank you for talking to me. I know I’m an outsider, and I’d hate to cause a problem.”
“An outsider?” Amma scoffed. “Why would you think that? ”
“I’m not related to you guys. I’m just a friend of the family.”
“Good lord, son. You think after all these years that you’re just a family friend?”
“I do. Is that wrong?”
“Very much so. Unfortunately for you, there’s no getting rid of us now. You’re a part of this family, Alden.”
“I’m sure I could find a way.”
She put a hand on my shoulder. “No, you couldn’t. I know you grew up thinking families just up and leave, but they don’t. Not us. Not real family.”
“That’s the thing, I’m not real family.”
She shook her head. “Blood doesn’t matter. It’s the heart that does.”
“Even if Nick and I fought?”
“Yes, of course. Your dad underestimated what a kind person you are, but we aren’t him. We see you.”
Overwhelming emotions consumed every inch of my body, leaving me staring blankly at Amma. “I ... I don’t know what to say.”
“You don’t have to say anything. Just know we’re here. You’re invited to every family occasion, even if you fight with Stella or Nick.”
I gaped at her. I had no idea that she would have been so okay with it.
An old anxiety fully lifted off of me. I wasn’t going to lose Amma if this went downhill. It helped more than I could say.
“I don’t plan on ever fighting with Stella again. ”
“Judging by the way you two are acting, I don’t think you will either.” She patted my shoulder. “Now, I need to go find and torture my son-in-law with conversation. He’s been hiding in a corner of his own for far too long.”
Amma went to find Chris, leaving me alone. Out of habit, my eyes searched for Stella.
I found her talking to her mom about something. When Melody saw me, she waved me over.
“Alden, I’m so happy you’re here on Christmas,” she said. “I was just asking Stella where she would live next. You two are friends again, right? I don’t have to avoid the two of you?”
“Yeah, we’re good.” Stella smiled at me. “And there’s not much to tell. I don’t think I’ve had a second to think about it. But I really liked being out in the middle of nowhere. I actually feel inspired for once. So maybe something quieter.”
“You could be near Redwood Falls! You haven’t been, but it’s gorgeous.”
“I’ve heard it is.” Her eyes slid to me. “I can’t wait to go.”
“I already said I would show you around.” When I glanced at Melody and saw her looking at us with a raised eyebrow, I cleared my throat. “Or you could take Winnie.”
“But how will I know all the good spots to get photos? I’m excited not to be stuck with only a Polaroid.”
“You had a Polaroid?” Melody asked. “Did you get any good pictures? I would love to see them. ”
“Let me pick the best ones out, Mom. You know I’m a perfectionist.”
“And which ones are appropriate.”
Stella laughed awkwardly. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, who knows what could happen when you’re stuck in snow.” A smile crossed her face, and she’d never looked more like Amma.
Oh boy. How much longer did we have until everyone figured it out?
Even Nick seemed to have an idea.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him watching us again. Instead of my usual guilt, there was a spark of annoyance.
Stella was a smart woman. Why did it matter so much to him who she dated? Why did he not trust her?
I didn’t have siblings, so maybe I didn’t get it, but I wasn’t a terrible person for her—or at least I didn’t think so.
It hit me just how wrong he had been to tell me I couldn’t date her all of those years ago, and if he did it again, he’d still be wrong.
I was done suffering in the name of friendship. Love didn’t have to come with pain.
“I’m so happy to see you getting along,” Melody said. “You two were always so close.”
“It just took us getting stuck together to get it right,” Stella said, and her eyes went to the Christmas tree. “Oh, geez. Amma is climbing the ladder. Alden, hold my drink. ”
She shoved it into my hands without another thought.
“Something happened while you were stuck together, didn’t it?”
“N-no.”
“Okay, whatever you say. I think you’d be cute together, though. I’ve rooted for you two ever since she insisted she was gonna marry you someday.”
My eyes went wide. “When did she say that?”
“It was maybe six months after Nick met you and you started coming by the house more. Of course, both of you were too young then. But I thought that something would happen when she went off to college. Little did I know I’d have to wait.”
“So you’re fine with us being together?”
“More than fine,” she said. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
“I ... I don’t know. I guess I thought I wasn’t good enough for her.”
She gently smacked the back of my head. “Alden Canes, you’re a good kid. Don’t let anyone tell you any differently.”
I rubbed the spot but nodded. My anxiety lifted even further. More people would be on my side than I thought.
After Amma finished the tree, we opened the few presents we did get before the party started to wind down. I hadn’t gotten Stella anything, something I regretted now that she was my whole world .
But if things went my way, I’d have plenty more holidays to spoil her on.
Chris offered to let Amma stay with them for the night since the roads were probably already frozen over again, and they lived off of a cleared road.
Then it was just Nick, Stella, Winnie, and me. For a second, it was silent, and Nick finally broke it with the question we’d all been waiting for.
“All right, the Christmas party is over. Can we finally talk about this?” Nick gestured in between Stella and me.
Winnie glared but thankfully kept her mouth shut.
“It depends on how you handle it,” Stella said. “Because if you go off on Alden, it might get messy.”
Despite knowing that I had people on my side, my body tensed at the possible confrontation. I never thought I’d defy Nick again, and it was terrifying.
Nick blinked. “Go off on Alden? Why would I do that?”
Hang on— what ?
“Because you did it before,” Stella interjected. “And it’s why we didn’t get along for seven years.”
Realization dawned in Nick’s eyes. “ Oh , that.”
“ ‘That’? Is that all you’re calling it?” I asked slowly.
“Er, yeah That.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I could call it me being an idiot if it makes you feel better.”
“It would make me feel better.” Winnie’s voice broke the silence, and Nick glared at her for only a second before turning back to me .
“Wait a second, so you’re not mad this time?” Stella asked.
“No, I’m not. I was wrong back then—I hope you know that. You can date or be with whoever you want.”
“And this includes seven years ago, right?” Stella asked, narrowing her eyes.
“Yes, it does,” Nick said with a nod. “I overreacted back then and fucked things up between you two. I’ve been trying to fix it, but you two are the most stubborn people I’ve ever met.”
“Stubborn?” Stella asked.
“Don’t turn this on them,” Winnie warned. “Stella was heartbroken and Alden was doing what you asked.”
“I tried to talk to you about it,” Nick said to me.
“You told me to never bring her up again.” I crossed my arms to hide my clenched fists. “And I thought you bringing it up was a test to see if I was listening.”
“I may have been an idiot, but I’m not that manipulative.”
“You do realize how awful Alden’s dad was, right?” Stella asked. “Alden’s very used to jumping through hoops to keep people around, and you threatened to leave.”
Nick closed his eyes and his head hung low. “I didn’t think about it like that back then. But now I know I went too far. I’m sorry, Alden.”
I wasn’t used to apologies. Especially not from people who hurt me. The anger that had flooded me dissipated. “I-it’s fine. ”
“No,” Stella cut in. “Don’t say it’s fine unless it really is.”
I looked back at Nick, who nodded. “She’s right. What I did wasn’t okay, and if you’re still mad, I understand.”
I didn’t know what I felt. All I knew is that I expected more anger—not for him to come at this with such regret and understanding.
A heavy silence settled on us, broken only by Winnie.
“Since when are you mature?” she asked incredulously.
“I am capable of growth, Winnie,” he replied with a sigh.
“But how ? Therapy? A really good self-help book on empathy?”
“A little of all of it, but I realized that I was in the wrong about a year after it happened. Everyone knew something went south between you two, and Amma asked me if I knew what had happened. When I told her the truth, she went off on me.”
“I knew she was a smart woman.”
“I tried to apologize but the damage was done,” Nick continued. “Alden wouldn’t look twice at Stella, and she was five seconds away from yelling at him at every event. I kept inviting you both to things because I hoped you would talk. But Alden is a great listener, apparently.”
“I tend to be when I’m threatened with losing a friend.”
Nick winced. “Yeah. I would be too.”
“I was terrified of even looking at her for years . ”
“You didn’t have to be. You and Stella are made for each other. I was too blinded by what I thought you should be.”
I blew out a breath, the weight of this conversation hitting me. There was no fight. Nick didn’t hate me.
And most importantly, I had Stella.
A gentle hand landed on my shoulder.
“Alden?” she asked. “Are you okay?”
“I’m ... I’m good. Still mad that we wasted so much time” —my eyes moved to Nick—“but thank you for not repeating past mistakes. You realized and admitted you were wrong. Not a lot of people do that.”
“You’ve had a lot of shitty people in your life, Alden. I hate that I was one of them. I had this idea that we were a family but never looked to see what you two were feeling.”
“So you were fine with them dating this whole time?” Winnie asked.
“I felt weird about the age gap at first, especially when we were all at different points in our lives. But that’s not my decision to make. I should have never stepped in.”
“How did you miss the massive crush Stella had on him?”
“I— Winnie !” Stella’s voice was sharp with embarrassment.
“You were obvious,” she replied, rolling her eyes.
“I was blind,” Nick said. “I still am sometimes. But Amma set me straight, and we’ve been trying to get this fixed ever since. ”
“You didn’t even do it in the end,” Stella said. “It was a weird twist of fate with the snowstorm.”
Nick opened his mouth, but then shut it. “Yeah,” he said after a moment, “that whole thing was unplanned.”
Stella narrowed her eyes. “It was a twist of fate, right?”
“Nick, what did you do?” I asked.
“I may have sent Stella when Amma told me she was asking you to come over.”
“You planned this?” Stella nearly yelled.
“Oh my God .” Winnie’s palm pressed to her mouth as she tried not to laugh. “Usually, Nick isn’t funny, but this is hilarious. You trapped them together?”
“It was the only way! And it worked,” he said. “Look at them!”
I scrubbed a hand over my face, struggling to name the mix of emotions I was feeling. Anger. Hurt. Relief. Happiness.
“We almost killed each other a few times, you know that, right?” Stella asked, shaking her head.
“I’m sure it wasn’t fun, but you got there in the end. Everything is good now.”
“I’m still mad,” I repeated.
“Everything is mostly good.”
“All right, I have another question,” Winnie piped up. “Sure, you’re super mature and all now, but you kept glaring over at them all day today. So either you’re lying about being okay with it and hiding it terribly, or there’s something else we don’t know. ”
“I’m not lying about being okay with them,” Nick said quickly.
“So why glare?”
“Um, reasons?”
Winnie arched an eyebrow.
“Wait, she’s right. You were being weird today.” Stella turned on him too. “Are you lying?”
“He wouldn’t apologize if he were lying,” I cut in. “That’s not his style.”
“Something is going on.”
“Has anyone ever told you that you notice too much?” Nick asked Winnie.
“Every day. Now answer the question.”
“It’s nothing serious, but I can’t exactly say. I don’t want to take away from anything that just happened. Especially my apology. This is a serious moment.”
“And you being annoying earlier wasn’t serious?”
“It was for something ... fun. I wasn’t actually mad.”
“Then what was it?” Stella asked. “Tell me or I’ll sic Amma on you.”
“Amma started this whole thing, so I doubt she’d be mad. But if you have to know, it was a bet.”
“A ...” Stella’s jaw dropped. “You bet on us?”
“Yes,” Nick said. “And I lost.”
Winnie cackled. “Oh, I love it when you lose. Good job, Nick.”
“How was I supposed to know they’d get together during the snowstorm? I thought it would be after.”
“Haven’t you ever read a romance novel, loser? ”
“Why would you get in on a bet in the first place?” I asked. “You knew how serious it was to me.”
“I didn’t even realize I was in on it until Amma asked me when it would happen. She’s a mastermind, you guys. And I couldn’t back out. Both Mom and her would have never let me live it down.”
The Summers were serious about bets.
“You’re ridiculous,” I said.
“Does it make you madder?”
I thought about it. “Depends on how much money you lost.”
Nick sighed. “Like a thousand dollars.”
“Holy shit,” Winnie said. “Let me know when the next one is. I need to be in on this.”
“No,” Nick deadpanned.
“I wasn’t asking you, asshole.”
“Winnie,” Stella said, rubbing her forehead. “Can we try not to start a fight?”
“I’ve been in Nick’s place for hours. I’m due for one.”
“You could just leave,” he said.
“But then I don’t get to see your face when I insult you.” She put her hand to her chest in mock sincerity. “It’s Christmas, Nick. Let me have something good.”
Nick glared in response.
“They’re insufferable,” I muttered to Stella.
“Literally. At least we weren’t this bad.”
“Hey,” Nick interrupted. “I had to deal with Alden’s longing looks at Stella. I deserve to be annoying for a bit.”
“You’re always annoying,” Winnie added .
“Can you just be nice for five seconds?”
They devolved into squabbling, and I finally turned to Stella, gauging her reaction to all of this. She watched her brother and best friend as if they were a bomb a second away from going off, but she didn’t look as worried as I felt when we finally told Nick.
It would take time for him and me to fully move past everything that happened, but we were on the right track. Our group was finally back together—as it should be.
We would be okay.
More than okay.
Perfect.