Chapter 36
brANDON
Lexi’s whole body was covered in soap. The feel of her slippery skin against mine was too much to bear.
I wanted to bury myself inside her and never come out.
She moaned as I massaged her shoulders. Great, there goes my dick again.
I was so easily aroused by her. Literally everything she did was sexy as hell to me, but this.
This shower. Bubbles dripping down her slick skin and sliding against me?
I pressed my erection against her back, my willpower hanging by a thread.
I reached around her and massaged soap over her breasts and down her stomach, stopping before reaching the apex of her thighs. She ground herself into my touch and then turned to face me with more body wash in her hands.
Her soapy hands moved tentatively over my body, washing my chest and then my arms. She wasn’t looking at me, though, so I tipped her chin up towards me. “You okay?”
She gave me a tight smile. “Yeah, I’m okay. But why are we waiting again?”
“Because you have an aversion to intimacy, remember?”
She chuckled, “Oh, yeah.”
“And you revert to sex whenever things get too emotional.”
“Mmmhmm.” She continued to slather soap over my chest and abs.
“But you’re doing so well. You’ve made a lot of progress, Lexi, and I’m proud of you.” I rubbed my thumb over her pouty lip.
“But good girls get orgasms, right?”
Sneaky girl. “Yes, they do, but you’ve already had one tonight.” I moved her back into the spray of the shower. “Now, I’m going to wash your hair, rinse you off, and then put you to bed.”
Her pout intensified. “Rude. But you’re right. We should wait a little longer. Although I must say, I’ve been having a lot of fun with you… even with our clothes on.”
I leaned down to kiss her nose. “Good. Me too.”
I really was so proud of Lexi. Sure, we were both itching to have sex again, but I didn’t really think it was sex that was the problem.
I believed the real test for her was in those intimate moments after sex when she’d usually run for the hills.
Over the last month, she and I had gotten closer, more intimate, and it had nothing to do with sex.
I think she realized that, and I was excited for us to get back home and keep building that trust.
I woke up the next morning to the sound of Christmas music playing throughout the cabin and the clanking of plates coming from downstairs.
I groaned and stretched in bed. This bed was definitely not big enough for me, and I’d be sure to relay that feedback to my brother.
Although I hoped that during future visits I’d be sharing the guest room with Lexi.
Speaking of Lexi, her laugh traveled up the stairs and engulfed me like a warm breeze. I loved her laugh. Smiling to myself, I heard a throat clear and turned my head to see Dylan eyeballing me. He raised an eyebrow. “You’re ridiculous.”
“Such a cynic.” I tossed a pillow at him as I got out of bed. “You’ll get it one day.”
“Nah, I’m good, bro.” Dylan snickered.
“Come on, sleepyheads,” Daphne called from downstairs. “Breakfast is ready!”
“Coming!” I hollered down in response. “Come on, dickhead, let’s go eat,” I said to Dylan, pulling a shirt over my head.
As we came down the stairs, Daphne, Nathan, and Lexi were gathered at the kitchen island. Lexi looked up and greeted me with a huge smile that had me wanting to cross the room and give her a proper greeting. I couldn’t wait until we could tell everyone that we were together.
“Morning,” I greeted the group.
“Morning. I hope you’re hungry; Daphne made enough to feed the whole town,” Nathan joked.
“Har. Har. Our parents are coming too.” Daphne rolled her eyes and turned to get something out of the oven. “Come on, guys, grab a plate.”
“Well, if they don’t show, I’m sure I can put a dent in this. It smells amazing, Daphne,” I said as I picked up a plate. She didn’t have to tell me twice. I was starving.
We all filled our plates and sat down to eat as my dad and Daphne’s parents walked through the front door. We exchanged hurried greetings while stuffing our faces.
After breakfast, it was time for our Secret Santa gift exchange.
Nathan rigged it so he’d get Daphne, so he could reveal a secret project he’d been working on since they met.
He had written their love story and had it bound for her—an incredibly romantic gesture, Daphne was absolutely over the moon about.
Daphne launched herself into Nathan’s arms and sobbed into his neck.
As I glanced over at Lexi, I noticed—was she crying?
The urge to go to her was strong, but I remained in my seat across the room.
Lexi swiped a tear from her cheek and cleared her throat. “Okay, enough of that mushy shit. Jesus, Nate Dog, you’re making men everywhere look bad.”
After a few chuckles, Daphne peeled herself away from Nathan’s embrace. “Okay, I’ll go next. Dane, I had you,” she said, retrieving a gift from under the tree.
When it was Lexi’s turn to pass out her gift, she stood and picked up a gift from under the tree, and brought it to me. “I had you, Brando,” she said casually as she handed me a neatly wrapped package.
“Thanks, Lexi.” I ripped the paper to reveal a beautifully embossed, leather-bound sketchbook.
It was like the one she’d gotten for my dad last year, but I could tell that this one was picked out or made especially for me.
And it looked like the tentacles that adorned it were intricately carved by hand.
My mouth hung open as I absentmindedly traced the design with a finger.
“Do you like it?” she asked.
I looked up to see everyone staring at me.
“I love it,” I answered her honestly. This was one of the most thoughtful gifts I’d ever received, and it meant even more because I knew how hard it was for Lexi to give such a heartfelt gift to me.
I stood and gave her a half-hug that wouldn’t seem out of the ordinary to anyone else. “Thank you. It’s perfect.”
Lexi went back to her seat, and the gifting continued around me, but I was still focused on the sketchbook.
Because truthfully, it felt like more than a sketchbook—more than just a gift.
It felt as if Lexi was telling me she cared in her own way.
This was a romantic gesture, and I was here for it.
Inside, I found a handwritten note, but quickly stuffed it back inside and closed the book.
I’d have to read it away from prying eyes, but if she kept this up, I don’t know if I’d be able to keep our secret for much longer.
The rest of the morning passed in a blur, but at the first moment I could, I snuck away back to the loft to read the note from Lexi.
Brandon,
As you know, I’m not great at expressing my feelings, but I want to be better, not only for you, but for myself.
I didn’t think I’d be able to say this to your face, so I wanted you to know.
.. I really like you and care about you.
I’m glad we’re dating, or whatever this is, and getting to know each other more.
I’ve been having a lot of fun with you these past weeks, and I’m excited to see where it will go.
You were right when you said the post-sex intimacy is what scares me.
The fear of falling for you, and then potentially losing you, terrifies me.
So, please know that I’m trying. I won’t ever be a super romantic person like you are, but I promise I will talk to you about what I’m feeling, and I won’t run away again.
xoxo, Your Lexi
I reread it twice. This felt incredibly meaningful, especially coming from Lexi.
My Lexi. Her note gave me hope that we were moving in the right direction and that she and I had a real shot at a future together.
I tucked the note back into the sketchbook and made my way back downstairs.
Lexi needed a proper thank you, and I was determined to give it to her.