Chapter Ten
He’d dropped the ball.
Again.
He’d done the necessary and ensured her day-to-day physical safety with prime bodyguards and fully vetted staff, then retreated without digging deeper.
He hadn’t factored in her personal or emotional fulfilment or that she might be surrounded by people but yet lonely, which was ironic since he knew that state very well indeed.
Valenti had taken the report on her activities, seen no major red flags, and satisfied himself that she was fine.
He’d retreated, stunned by his illicit feelings after her visit to Cartana three years ago, and insulated himself from everything else but her physical safety. And even that had proved lacking…
The horror of failure washed a tsunami of ice through his veins.
‘Valenti…’
‘I failed you,’ he rasped through a throat lined with sharp rocks.
‘What? No!’
He released her, jerking back and away as she stumbled to her feet.
Touching her, revelling in her achievements, that smile, felt wrong.
Undeserved. This too was another emotion he knew well.
He’d been stifling the hard truth of it since that first stolen touch, the illicit kiss.
That first thrust into her delightful body—
No.
He felt her draw near and clenched his gut, knowing there was no excuse this time. It was time to draw a line under this madness.
He faced her, to find her arms crossed, the beautifully sleep-tousled female who’d seemed sexily confused moments ago, gone.
‘Fine. If you believe that you’ve failed me, then do something about it.’
He raised his eyebrows, unwilling to admit he was perhaps a little apprehensive of the determination on her face. Which should’ve been laughable for someone with his experience and the types of operations he’d undertaken in the army. And yet… ‘What?’ he bit out, half relishing the challenge.
‘Take me with you when you leave.’
He stiffened, then shook his head.
Clean break. You opened yourself up to friendship, to dreams, and look how it ended. Never again. And especially not with Helga’s sister!
Anything else was asking for tormenting temptation and trouble. ‘You need more than I can give beyond security and protection, Lotte.’ Why the hell did that drive a knife through his ribs?
‘Excuse me?’ she snapped.
‘I’m not well-equipped to provide emotional support. Nor do I wish to.’
Her nostrils fluttered. Her eyes shadowed. But, santo cielo, watching her chin rise, to stare him down was something.
‘I’m not asking to come hang around you at the palace like some emotional groupie or uber-royalty simp.
I’ve been thinking of what I want to do with my degree.
Pick any country, and I’ll find people who need help.
I already have a long list of charities I want to visit.
And I’m assuming you don’t plan to stay in this cabin forever?
That you hoped the stalker would’ve been apprehended by now and we would’ve left already? ’
‘Correct,’ he agreed, his tone deadly.
‘Then let’s leave anyway. You can make things up to me while going about your own business and assuring yourself I’m fine. Win win win.’
‘Or I could grant your other wish, seclude you on my island in the Caribbean or aboard my yacht in South Africa? You can get all the sun you want?’
Where it’s one thousand per cent safe.
She waved a dismissive hand, and his insides churned with a peculiar mix of aggravation and anticipation.
‘Your window of opportunity has passed on that one I’m afraid.
This is my one and only proposal.’ She looked around her, taking in the armchair, the bookshelves Ada had apparently stocked with the kind of books Lotte liked without his knowledge.
Because deep down, he’d hoped to one day show her this place?
To completely go insane and reveal secrets he’d kept buried deep, like he had at the hot springs yesterday?
He shook himself, to dispel the deeply unsettling emotions roiling through him.
‘Taking you with me is out of the question,’ he delivered with as much as ice as he could summon.
Which wasn’t very much when recalling what they’d done, how generously she’d given herself to him, threatened to melt his every resolve.
Every nerve ending tightened when she slowly approached, her eyes brazen on his.
‘Then consider yourself warned. I’m not going to stay meek and mild and wait for you to grace me with your presence.
You forced me to come here, but I no longer hold it against you, because you’ve also helped liberate me.
Helped me find closure. But if you insist on standing in my way, I will fight you. With everything I’ve got.’
He felt her raw power wash over him, weakening his knees while charging him in ways he would’ve denied were emotional if his life depended on it. He opened his mouth, to say what, he wasn’t exactly sure.
The distinct buzzing behind him froze them both.
Lotte watched his head jerk up, a frown marring his forehead before he was rounding the desk to snatch up the satellite phone.
It took moments to recognise the emotion flowering within her. To realise she wasn’t ready for whatever was coming before she stumbled closer, her feet barely making a sound as she approached his desk.
‘When did this happen?’ Valenti snapped into the phone.
When she gripped the sides of his desk, his eyes flicked to her and stayed. If he saw the frantic question in hers, he chose not to answer.
‘And he’s being brought back here? Are you sure?’ Several beats passed. ‘Good work,’ he said, then hung up.
Lotte’s heart lurched and she sagged against the hard wood. With relief, she insisted. Not dejection. Not fear that he was about to leave. ‘I… It’s over?’
For several seconds, Valenti’s gaze remained on the phone in his hand, then he looked up. ‘Sí. He’s been apprehended in Holland. Bert Keglar. Does that name mean anything to you?’
She shook her head. ‘No. Should it?’
A flash of relief washed over his face. ‘He’s being brought back here to face charges. It could happen as quickly as the next seventy-two hours.’
A pulse of silence passed, then because she’d been so bold minutes ago, and absolutely didn’t want the pathetic weakness to return, she grasped the bull by the horns. ‘So I’m free?’
Another dance of shadow and light over his face before he exhaled. ‘Not quite yet, litla.’
Again she told herself the heady sensation pounding within her was affront. Anger, even. Not giddiness. Not exultation at the idea that Valenti wasn’t in a hurry to wash his hands of her. Because that would be truly pathetic.
So she folded her arms once more and glared at him. ‘What then?’
He cupped her nape, his thumb caressing back and forth on her jaw in a motion she suspected he didn’t even realise he was performing.
‘We will go on this magical tour of yours if you wish. But you heed my warning. I’m not making the mistake of dropping my guard until he’s behind bars.’
Two things happened in quick succession once he summoned the helicopter.
His walls went back up the moment they stepped aboard. It was as sudden and as jarring as having a door slammed in her face. And she realised that Valenti intended to keep to his word about their sexual liaison ending once they left the cabin.
Which immediately birthed the second, stark realisation.
She missed the charged intimacy of the cabin. Would give anything to turn the aircraft around and return there.
And so she found herself in the same position as the outbound journey—consumed by her thoughts. Only this time they weren’t thoughts of how much she hated Valenti Domene and his imposition in her life.
It was how much of herself she’d given to him in that cabin. And the sinking feeling that she’d committed the grave blunder of giving her guardian her heart.
A heart he showed every sign of rejecting.
Lotte deeply despised how hard it was to imitate his detachment, then she hated him for making her crave that inhuman desire in the first place.
So yes, she was very much in her thoughts, sitting in the Royal Class Executive Lounge in Ljomi Airport as Valenti and his super elite guards pored over the half dozen destinations she’d chosen.
Her request for more visits to her charities had been taken ‘under advisement’.
And really, since she considered six a win, and she secretly planned to make the other trips by herself—something she looked forward to, she insisted to herself, as a means of passing what she suspected would be a trying time after Valenti reached his capacity and walked away from her—she let him get on with it.
Still, her senses jerked into wild life when she saw him striding towards her. Stopping before her, his keen eyes probed her for several seconds.
‘You still want to do this?’ he rasped.
She wished she could say no, end this right here and now. But even the tiniest idea of it contracted the vice around her heart. She nodded. ‘Yes, I do.’ She matched deed to words by rising and holding out her hand. ‘And I’d appreciate you returning my phone now too, thanks.’
The reluctance she sensed in him increased, a flash of unease darting across his face. After several beats, he reached into his jacket pocket and drew out her phone.
As her fingers closed around it, flickers of anxiety danced through her.
Helping people from afar was one thing. Being face-to-face with them, seeing their challenges was another. And as much as she wanted to deny it, she had little experience providing direct support.
What if—
‘Lotte? What’s wrong?’ he asked, his voice a rumble of moving gravel.
She shook herself free of negative thoughts.
If Valenti Domene had made a huge success of a career he hadn’t chosen for himself, surely she could take the first step in striking a meaningful path in her life?
And yes, it was ironic to be taking comfort and strength from the very man she suspected would devastate her with his complete rejection in the very near future. But until that happened…