Chapter 5
Sydney
Making it to my room before the tears start falling, I realize I am not prepared for all these feelings that are coming to the surface. I’m hurt, angry, frustrated, and oh my god do I miss him.
Was I an idiot all those years ago?
Yes.
Have I ever been able to find love since leaving Mason?
No.
Am I still in love with him?
I don’t think I’ve ever stopped loving him.
What the hell am I going to do? How am I supposed to get through the next two days being around him while orchestrating a lavish wedding?
The tears start flowing down my cheeks and I can’t seem to stop them, so instead I just let them fall. Grabbing a hand towel from the bathroom, I let it absorb my tears as I sit on the bed and sulk.
There’s a knock on my door. “Sydney? Are you in there?” I hear Emily’s voice.
I think about not answering and just let her think I’m not in here, but something might be wrong with the wedding preparations and I’m nothing if not a professional. My feelings can’t interfere with my business.
I wipe the tears off my face and the mascara from under my eyes. “Coming.” I call out. Looking in the mirror, I decide I’ll just tell her I just woke up. Hopefully she’ll believe that.
“Hey Emily. Is everything okay with the preparations?” I ask her as I open the door.
The recognition in her face is immediate; she knows I’ve been crying. “Oh, sweetheart. Come here.” She pulls me into a hug as she closes the door behind her. “I know it hurts.”
“What do you mean?”
“Stop it. I can clearly see you’re hurting, Sydney.” She pulls me by the hand to sit on the bed. “You still love him, don’t you?”
I look down at my hand towel and nod my head as the tears start again. “Yes, but it doesn’t matter. I broke him. I broke us.” I take a deep breath and exhale. “Besides, it’s been so many years. What does it matter, now?”
“It matters, Sydney.”
I sniffle and then sit up straighter and decide to change the subject. No use beating a dead horse. “Did you need something?”
She doesn’t let me. “Can I ask you what happened between you and Mason all those years ago? You two were so good for each other; so happy together.” She pushes my hair behind my ear.
“He never told you?” I was sure he would have said something to his family. Come to think of it, I’m surprised Emily has welcomed me to the lodge with open arms. She always idolized her older brother. Wouldn’t she just hate the woman that broke her brother’s heart?
She shakes her head, “Not a word. Whenever we asked him about you, he just said he didn’t want to talk about it. He left the next day for boot camp. My parents and I could see he was hurting, but you know Marines – show no emotion, hoorah, and all that.”
I’m surprised by what she’s telling me. “When Mason told me he enlisted and signed the recruitment paperwork, I was devastated. He had never mentioned wanting to join the military.”
“Never?” She sounds surprised.
I shake my head, “Nope. It was a complete surprise to me, and when I started realizing what that meant for the two of us, I just couldn’t do it.
I never wanted to be a military wife. I had hopes and dreams myself and wondering where my husband was or even if he was alive was not part of those dreams.”
Emily nods and then pulls me into her arms again as I start to ugly cry.
Rehashing all these memories and feelings is killing me.
“I’m so fucking sorry he hurt you, Sydney.
He absolutely should have talked to you about joining the Marines long before he enlisted and I don’t blame you for leaving him. He really never gave you a choice.”
I agree with her as I sit back and dry my tears with my hand towel. Enough of my sob story. It was a million years ago and we were both just kids. “Well, it’s all water under the bridge now, right?” I change the subject. “Did you need something? Is everything okay with the wedding preparations?”
Emily watches me for a moment but decides not to push the subject any further. “I just wanted to let you know that there’s a big storm heading this way. Do you have everything you need from town? If not, now is the time to go get it.”
My issues with Mason forgotten for now, “No, I’m good, but what about the wedding party? What about the ladies from home?”
“I’ve gone door-to-door already and have a list of items Mason and I are going to go grab in town while everyone’s at dinner. We just want to make sure we’re all set.”
“Is there anything I can do to help out?”
Shaking her head, “No. I think we’re all good with everything except what’s on the list. We should be back in a few hours. Franco, the chef you met this morning, will be in the kitchen if you need anything.”
I nod. “Okay. No worries. I’m sure everything will be fine. Just be careful out there, okay?”
Emily nods as she goes to leave but turns around and takes my hand. “Talk to him, Sydney. Just talk to him, okay?”
I give her a placating smile, “I have, and I could see the hurt in his eyes. Too much time has gone by and too many things have been said.”
She shakes her head, “I think you’re wrong.” She holds up her cell phone. “Franco has my number if you need anything.” She waves at me as I close the door behind her.
Did she really mean it when she said she doesn’t think it’s too late? Do I even want to put myself out there again? This time, I’m not sure either one of us would survive if it didn’t work between us. Can he even forgive me?
Can I forgive myself?
After dinner, the entire wedding party gathers in the common area around the fire. Sarah’s wearing the cutest white Mickey Mouse ears that have a bridal veil and Kris has a black set of ears with a top hat on top. They’re adorable together.
“Okay, everyone. Who’s up for some Bridal Bingo?” I call out as the emcee to the festivities.
"Who wants bingo? I can get that back at home!" Florence calls out.
Nodding in agreement, “We want strippers!” Gladys yells out. “I want wangs shoved in my face and banana hammocks thrown at me!”
“Yeah. Strippers. I brought ten dollars in one-dollar bills.” Joan pulls out some cash from her sweater pocket and waves it in the air.
It’s all I can do to stifle the laughter that is trying to escape. “No strippers, ladies. Sorry. This is a co-ed party.”
“I’m fine with that!” Yells Betty as the rest of the room laughs at the four of them.
I look over to find the bride and groom’s parents all blushing and hiding their laughter; I can almost see the bubbles pop up over their heads wondering how on earth they were talked into inviting the crazy old ladies.
I’m wondering about it, too.
“Um. Okay. Well, there will be no strippers, but we’ll play Bridal Bingo and Franco, the lodge’s chef, promised a double slice of chocolate pie for the winner.” I wave over at chef Franco as he holds up the pie.
“Well, boy howdy. That’s better than strippers!” Gladys yells out. “Where’s my bingo card?”
“There’s one more thing.”
“Now what, woman? We’ve got pie to win.” Betty exclaims as she’s getting settled while I pass out the bingo cards.
“I don’t know what you’re bitching for. I’m gonna win that pie.” Joan exclaims.
In order to keep from a brawl breaking out over the damn pie, I raise my voice. “There’s one more game. A scavenger hunt.”
“Scavenger hunt? What the hell for?” Florence asks.
“I’ve hidden some wedding rings around the lodge. The person that collects the most rings and brings them to me after the first dance at the reception wins.”
“Wins what?” Florence asks, intrigued.
“Bragging rights, of course.” I laugh.
“I don’t want no stinkin’ bragging rights. I want a prize.” Florence sits up quickly. “Oh, I know. Whoever wins the scavenger hunt gets the first dance with Mason.”
“What am I being volunteered for?” Mason says as he walks into the room with his hands full of bags.
“Oh. Let me help you with that.” I turn to Sarah. “You start the bingo game.”
“You got it.” she says excitedly.
I run over to where Mason is juggling a bunch of bags in his hands. “Here. I’ve got these.” I grab a few bags and when our hands touch, that old familiar zing zips right through me like a lightning bolt. It’s been years since I’ve felt that. Since the last time we touched each other.
“Thanks.” He hands me the bags. “Now, what am I being nominated to do?” he asks under his breath.
“You’re the prize for whomever wins the scavenger hunt. Don’t worry. It’s nothing bad. Just a dance with the winner.”
“Oh. Nothing bad, you say.” he says with his eyebrows raised. “Have you ever danced with one of them?”
“Ah. No. Why?” I ask as I put the bags down on the counter just inside the kitchen.
“They pinch!” He whines and I burst out laughing.
“Awww. You poor thing. I’m sure you can handle a dance with an eighty-year-old.”
He shakes his head and laughs, “Don’t be too sure about that.”
I laugh with him, and it feels so good. Better than how I’ve felt since arriving here. Putting the bags down, I look up at his smiling face and something happens between us. I can feel us pulling closer to each other.
“A little help here.” Emily says as she’s dropping things all over the floor.
Just as fast as it happened… it’s gone.
And I want it back.