Chapter 12
Chapter Twelve
Of course he was leaving. She didn’t know what else she had expected.
But the bottom line was that whatever she’d thought about coming here tonight and staying in a place where she felt protected, she was glad she’d caught him before he left.
Added to that, she had to tell him about the conversation with that FBI agent anyway.
Even if it turned into something awkward with all of them staring at each other.
Sigh.
Pops shifted his weight and turned to leave. “Well, I need to go check the fences.”
A tendon in Caleb’s jaw flexed. “I’ll do that before I leave.” He pushed out the front door and left it open, striding away off the porch.
Pops looked at her. “Go after him, darlin’.”
Tessa shook her head. “I’m not the one who’s gonna make him stay.”
“You might.”
But was that even the best thing for either of them?
There was far more going on here than just her seeing a guy she had liked years ago, for the first time in two decades.
She didn’t think her heart had settled back down after being at the cabin and getting her father back.
Even knowing her dad was safe in the hospital only did little to help her try and regain her peace.
She needed about a month of calm before she would feel like she was back on even footing.
Tessa closed the front door and followed Caleb to the barn, where she found him lifting a saddle from the sawhorse and taking it into one of the stalls. “If you’re just going to leave, you should probably know there’s an FBI agent in town asking questions about you.”
She didn’t know what to do and ended up standing there in the middle of the center aisle. Listening to the shifting of saddle leather and the sound of horses moving in their stalls.
Pops had two and alternated using them. She was pretty sure they had been Noah and Caleb’s horses. Or the horses he had purchased with them in mind.
Much like her teenage crush on Caleb, things didn’t always work out the way people planned.
What was that verse? The one about man planning his way and God directing his steps. She couldn’t understand how that had led any of them to what’d happened over the last day or so. Was it really part of some plan?
Even with how long she’d been a believer, she still felt as if she was struggling to figure things out.
Caleb led the horse out of the stall. “Whoever this FBI agent is, they’re not going to stop me from finishing this. I need to get the phones I took off those men to a private forensics lab.”
“You don’t need to leave to do that.” She shook her head. Maybe God had ordained some of this.
She said, “Do you remember Meg from school? She married a guy who is a scientist, and he runs a forensics lab in North Carolina.”
“Your best friend Meg?”
She nodded. “You could just use a delivery service to send the phones to his company. Meg says they’re the best, which of course she would because she’s probably biased. But I also Googled them a few times and they really are excellent. Maybe they could even find out what happened to your parents.”
Again that tendon flexed in his jaw.
“But if you are going to leave, don’t let me stop you. You should be free to do whatever you think is right.” She lifted her chin, trying to be dispassionate about the whole thing.
What did he expect? It wasn’t like she was going to fall at his feet weeping when they’d only spent a few hours together at most.
“The threat here is real.” He held onto the reins of a brown Mustang Pops had broken years ago.
A dangerous business, taking something wild and taming it.
Maybe not even really taming it. More like requiring obedience and giving the horse no room to decide a different fate.
The animal was still wild, but chose to yield.
Except that this horse had been broken already before he got it. Pops had nursed it back to health. He taught the horse that life could be peaceful and good.
When the horse got its wild streak back, Pops went to work teaching the animal how things would be.
She didn’t know Caleb well enough to figure out where he fell on that spectrum, and if Pops had done the same thing with two recalcitrant young boys.
But she got the sense there was something wild in him and surrendering his life to the Lord had given him a shot at finding something good here on this land.
But still, part of him would likely never give up that wildness even if he yielded.
Maybe it was in his blood.
Caleb said, “If I leave it’s only so that you guys don’t find yourselves in danger anymore.”
“I can’t say I’m in any hurry to have a gun pointed at me again.” So it wasn’t as if she was going to argue with him for wanting to keep them safe. She wanted to be safe, but that illusion had shattered when her father was taken.
As far as she was concerned, keeping secrets had put all of their lives at risk.
She wanted to push back and fault them all for putting lives in danger, but it would only be because she was scared.
She said, “I can send you the recording of the conversation. That way you can hear what that FBI agent said for yourself.”
His head tipped to the side. “You recorded it?” When she nodded he said, “That was clever thinking.”
“Thanks.” She nodded.
Tessa turned away, not sure what else she could do. She didn’t even want him to stay if it meant more bad guys would show up and come after them. If he took the envelope and left then surely that would solve their problems. It would make them safe.
But what about him?
“Tessa.”
She stopped at the door and glanced back over her shoulder.
“Do you want to go out riding with me?”
It was the look on his face that meant she wasn’t able to say no or walk away. He was the one who was going to leave. She lived here and would always be here no matter what.
Maybe that made her restless or looking for change. Maybe that made her the woman who would sit around waiting for him to come back. Pining forever until he returned.
That didn’t sound like a good deal, but what else was she supposed to do? She didn’t know who else to be.
“One last time. For old times sake. What do you say?” He walked toward her, leading the horse. “I’ll saddle Rex.”
“I’ll do it.” She tried not to think about it too much but got the saddle and took it to the other stall.
Rex always wanted to get out on the land, so she had him cinched up in no time. The horse turned his head and nipped at her shoulder.
She patted his neck and laughed. “I know. You’re happy.”
Maybe she was as well, and maybe she wasn’t.
This was entirely too much like a do-over of high school.
Some deep wish to go out riding with Caleb Rourke that she had buried so far down she’d almost forgotten it existed.
Dragging it backup was a dangerous business, one that would likely lead her to being home alone pining for him to come back.
With Caleb off saving the world while she waited.
She should have met someone else by now. But it’d just never happened, and so she was left wondering if God’s plan was for Caleb to show up now and for something to happen between them.
More dangerous business.
The last thing she wanted was to get her heart broken. But here they were.
Caleb led the way down the west boundary of the Rourke land, close enough to her house that she could see the side of the barn. Tessa shivered looking at the property where she lived with her father.
“I’m sure Pops will go with you the first time you head home.”
She sighed. “I’ll need to get fresh clothes at some point. I don’t know why I’m so scared of it when there isn’t going to be anyone inside. I just…I look at it and it seems like a foreign thing I should stay away from.”
“It’s been invaded. Your dad was taken, and you saw those gunmen for yourself. It’s not something you’re going to let go of anytime soon I’m afraid. It might even keep you up at night.”
Kind of like lying in bed wondering where Caleb might be or how it was going finishing his case? Thinking about how sincere he sounded saying that, being kind. She was going to wish he was here to take her to the diner, or to the County Fair when they came to town.
She sighed. “Everything is upside down.”
And he wasn’t some fantasy of a guy she’d never found here in town. He was Caleb.
She needed to accept who he was, or those feelings she had for him would grow into something wrong. It wouldn’t be acceptance of the man God had made him to be.
She had to have that unconditional love of a woman for the man he was. Nothing else.
Or she would spend a lifetime trying to change him.
“What do you mean upside down?”
She shook her head. “Don’t worry about it. I don’t want to rehash it like I’m in the middle of all this, or like any of it is about me. Why don’t you tell me what you’re thinking? Maybe I can help you figure something out.” She shrugged, because it was unlikely she’d actually be able to help.
He said, “How about we don’t talk about that stuff at all? What if we just pretend you’re the girl next door and I’m the grandson of old Ian Rourke, here for the summer.”
She started to chuckle. “And here I was just thinking that I should accept you for who you are, not who I wished some guy might be that showed up and swept me off my feet.”
“Where’s the fun in that? Way too logical.” He glanced over, a smile opening his whole face. “I’m a scarred hero, back from war. Or a drifter. No, a movie stunt man.”
“If you get to be that I’m going to be a famous actress. Oh, better yet, an actress turned author. Everyone loves me. There was a disastrous relationship years ago, and naturally everyone took my side. Now I have a huge following.”
“Naturally. You are a media darling.”
“Only if it’s from back before social media that I built this fan club of people who love me. I feel like I’m a throwback sometimes. Like the world keeps moving and I’m still who I always was.”
Caleb shifted in the saddle and they crested a grassy hill from which the view of Ian Rourke’s land stretched out. The sun set pink and orange on the horizon. “I missed this.”
“But you weren’t the guy who stays here. You had a bigger job to do.”
“I am a drifter. It’s in my nature.”
She giggled. “I’m not sure if I prefer the soldier or the stunt man.”
“How about the guy with no past, the one being hunted?”
She nearly said aloud she didn’t want that. But it was more that she didn’t want that for him. “I wish I could re-write that story.”
He slowed his horse to a stop, then slid off and dropped the reins. She did the same, walking to where he stood in front of the horses. Looked at the sunset.
He stared out at the horizon. “I didn’t think I missed it. Being here makes me realize I did. Every day.”
“I forget how beautiful it is.” She needed to take the time to see more sunsets, and sunrises. To appreciate the land where she’d been born and raised instead of taking it for granted because it was commonplace.
He looked at her. “I want to finish this and then come back. I just don’t have any idea how long it’s going to take.”
“Be safe. Please.” She needed him to be all right. Whether it meant anything for her future or not, she had to know Caleb was out there somewhere safe.
Or here, and safe.
He shifted closer to her and took her hand, facing her so that she could see the look on his face. The warmth, maybe even a little bit of nervousness.
“I didn’t expect this when I came home. I didn’t expect you.” He ducked his head for a second, then looked at her again. “I’m sorry you were dragged into it.”
“It wasn’t your fault.” She squeezed his hand. “You didn’t even know my father was involved. I’m just glad he’s all right, and you got a lead you can follow.”
“I’m going to keep you safe, Tessa.”
She nodded, her thoughts too full to articulate anything well.
Caleb stepped even closer, so close that their bodies were almost touching. “I promise.”
He dipped his head, so slowly. Easing toward her gently, he touched his lips to hers.