Chapter 5 Rebecca
REBECCA
“Mommy, look!” Damian shouts from the monkey bars. “Look what Tommy just taught me.”
I watch as Damian swings from bar to bar with little hangups.
Before, he was too afraid to even hang from the first one.
Tommy is one of the neighborhood boys that Damian immediately took a liking to when we first moved back home.
He’s only a few houses down from us, and they usually play at the playground at least once a week.
He lives with his grandmother, and while it’s a sad story, I’m just glad that Damian could make a nice friend.
Tommy’s been in his grandmother’s custody since he was just a few months old.
His parents died in a tragic highway pileup that happened just months after I moved away.
I’m happy that Tommy and Damian have each other.
Clapping, a smile plasters on my face. “Great job, baby! Just be careful.”
The cold air blows, cutting right through my winter coat, and I shiver on a nearby bench, close to where Damian and Tommy play and run around.
My gloved hands cling to a book I brought along to keep myself entertained, but my mind is far too preoccupied to focus.
It’s a romance novel about a woman who takes over her father’s ranch after he passes, only to fall in love with the hired help.
A story of love, even when it’s frowned upon.
It reminds me of my predicament with Steven.
While I still have love for him, being with him is out of the question for me if I want to keep the relationship I have with my family.
His soft, warm lips pressed against mine in the elevator, replaying in my head, showing no signs of stopping anytime soon.
It’s not fair …
I just want to be happy, and Steven makes me incredibly happy.
Why did I have to go and screw things up?
Why didn’t I go to him five years ago with the truth about Damian and the truth about his awful family?
Maybe I should’ve just pulled away from him … I couldn’t bring myself to do that.
I remember now why I was so quick to start a secret relationship with him all those years ago.
Nothing has changed between us except time.
And Damian, the biggest secret I kept in my life.
I know I’m a good mother, but it feels wrong keeping such a wonderful thing hidden away from Steven.
I’m not ashamed of my son; he was made out of love.
I am ashamed that I let something so stupid, like his parents threatening me, deter me from being happy.
Watching Damian play puts a lot of things into perspective for me.
Working for Steven, even kissing him, isn’t a terrible thing.
The worst part is what it could do to my father.
My phone begins to ring from inside my purse, and as I answer the unknown caller, a frantic voice begins streaming through the speaker.
“Becca! Thank God you answered. I’m screwed … I’m so screwed.”
“Who is this?” I ask, still not being able to place the voice.
The woman sighs. “It’s Rosalie. From work?”
Now the panic in her voice makes sense.
This is the same woman who ruined a full week’s worth of work for me in less than a day.
She’s the reason Steven and I had to stay late, but she is also responsible for that amazing kiss, so how mad am I, really?
“Okay, what’s going on?” I urge her to calm down and take a breath.
“I was here, trying to do a few things before Monday, and the printer wouldn’t work. I went on the computer and I thought I could fix it, but now none of the computers are working right. I think I broke something. Oh, God … I can’t lose this job.”
It’s somewhat comical to hear the panic in her voice. I’m sure it’s an easy fix. “Give me, like, twenty minutes and I’ll be there. Just, for the love of God, don’t touch anything else until I get there.”
Once the call ends, I holler for Damian, who isn’t too happy that we are leaving, but I use the we-don’t-want-to-catch-a-cold excuse and bribe him with extra movie time tonight before bed.
It works every time.
After we say goodbye to Tommy and his grandmother, we load up into the car and rush home.
I only have a small moment to explain what’s going on to my mom and ask her to watch him before I get back in my car.
Moments like this, I’m glad I live close to work.
Rosalie meets me in the lobby, and we catch the elevator up to the fourth floor.
She goes over exactly what she did, step-by-step, but it doesn’t make sense.
Everything she did wouldn’t have shut down the system.
We walk to the reception computer outside of Steven’s office, and I begin reading the error screen.
“You know,” I say as I exit the message and jump right into settings. “I shouldn’t help you after you messed up all my hard work.” Looking over at Rosalie, her eyes fill with regret, and she looks down at the desk.
“I know. I’m terrible at this job, but I’m trying to learn. This is only my second job ever …”
“Hey, hey.” I soften my voice and giggle. “I was only kidding. You have to lighten up a little, especially here. We can fix this, okay?”
Part of me feels for her.
I’d been there once upon a time, fresh out of high school.
I worked as a waitress and managed to drop at least two trays of food a night.
Surprisingly, they kept me on for two weeks before letting me go. I assumed I’d only last a week.
She has potential, but it takes time. “Ah,” I express. “Here’s your issue. Just a simple auto-reset to the system and you’ll be good. You just hit the wrong button when you were trying to print your papers.”
“Thank you, thank you!” Rosalie cheers, hugging me tightly. “Can you help me do the other computers before you leave?”
Sighing, I nod, and she follows me around to each small office to reset them manually.
We make our way back up to the front, but she stops rapidly, causing me to bump into her from behind.
Peering over her shoulder, Steven stares back at the two of us, curiosity plastering his face as his brow raises.
“I’m afraid to ask …” Steven comments. “I got a notification saying that something was wrong with the computer system.”
Rosalie doesn’t speak, leaving us surrounded by a cloud of awkwardness. “I can explain,” I chime up, stepping around her to face Steven.
I tell Rosalie she can go home now.
Before I finish my sentence, she grabs her bag and rushes to the elevator.
I hope I never need her help …
“Rosalie called me, freaking out because she broke something, but it was an easy fix. I reset the system, and everything is good to go.” I force an exaggerated smile, making Steven break his stern look at me to chuckle.
It’s always been a gift to make him break and laugh, so I like to use it when I find myself in a pickle with him. “Just don’t be mad at her. She’s trying, here.”
Steven shakes his head. “I’m not mad at anyone. It’s a mistake and you fixed it, problem solved.”
As my eyes glare into his, I can feel my internal heat rising fast. It’s a gift of his to get my body to react without even touching me, but I’ll never tell him.
“Well, you’re already here. Want to get some lunch before you head back home?”
As nice as that offer sounds, I already feel terrible that I took Damian away from the fun he was having and made my mom babysit.
“I’m not sure. I should probably get home. I have … some things I need to do.”
I need to get some better excuses if I’m going to continue turning him down.
“Come on, I insist. You’re already out. What’s another hour?” Steven flashes a sweet smile at me, one that makes it impossible to say no to him.
“It’s for work,” he adds.
Rolling my eyes, a laugh escapes my once-closed mouth. “Fine. For work.”
He has me follow him in my own car, and once we round the corner, I immediately recognize where he’s taking me.
Parking the car by the sidewalk across the street, Steven opens my door for me.
“This is where you want to have lunch?” I ask as we walk behind a crowd of excited kids and enter the festivities.
The entire public park is decked out with Christmas decorations.
Blown-up snowmen and decorated trees border the grass.
Food trucks and vendors selling homemade crafts line the walkway to the right, while the left walkway leads to a large, Christmas-themed fun house for the kids.
Straight ahead is the long line that leads to Santa, Mrs. Claus, and all their helping elves.
Kids hold onto their parents’ hands while excitedly screaming and jumping around, ready for their turn to sit on Santa’s lap.
This place brings me such joy, reminding me of my own childhood when my dad would bring me.
Of course, it’s far more fun now, which doesn’t seem fair since I’m too old for a lot of the activities.
It’s just nice to know that I will get to create those memories with Damian, since this will be his first year here.
“How about a burrito?” Steven says, pointing to a food truck. I nearly forgot why I was here once I got wrapped up in all the Christmas spirit.
“Sounds perfect,” I say, and we jump in line. After getting our food, I spot an open picnic table and we sit.
The smell of freshly cooked steak and melty cheese causes my stomach to growl.
I’ve never been a salad woman.
Messy subs and burritos are the way to my heart.
Taking my first bite, I am in heaven.
The large burrito is filled to the max with steak, cheese, beans, and rice.
The best part of Grand Rapids is its love of different kinds of food.
And with this cold weather, something warm is just the thing I need.
“Isn’t this beautiful?” Steven asks. “Every year, it seems to get better.”
“It really does,” I reply, allowing my eyes to scan Millennium Park, taking in all its beauty. “Damian would absolutely die to see this.”
I can feel myself smiling from ear to ear, wanting to soak up everything I can. “Who’s Damian?” Steven questions, and in that moment, everything comes crashing down around me.
The happiness I’m feeling fades, turning into despair.
Fuck … I just blew my own cover.
Without answering him, I stand quickly and look at my watch. “I … um. I need to go. I’m sorry.” I step out of the seat of the table and begin walking briskly toward my car.
That was too damn close.
I scream at myself inside my own head as I approach my car. I’m not ready to tell him …
How could I be so stupid?
As I reach for the handle, a hand lands on my shoulder, causing me to jump and spin around quickly to see Steven.
Disappointment wears on his face, making me feel even worse for the entire thing.
It kills me to know that I’m the reason for any bad feelings he has, or had before.
I don’t like hurting him.
I’m feeling flustered, and adrenaline starts pumping through my veins.
His mouth opens, and I know he is going to press the issue.
It’s something I’m not ready to face.
Without thinking, and purely driven by adrenaline, I grab his face and pull him down.
My lips press deliciously against his, and we find ourselves standing in the street, entangled in each other.
Everything else around me fades, and voices become muffled.
Nothing else matters but him and me.
I pull away, and before he can say anything to me, I hop in my car and speed away, leaving him standing in the middle of the road.
It’s hard to watch him in my rearview, but what other choice did I have at that moment?
I panicked …
Why do I always get wrapped up with him?
Even when I try to keep my distance, he pops up out of nowhere.
I almost just dropped the biggest bomb on him.
One that could turn his life upside down.
Maybe this job is a bad idea after all …
But if that were the case, then why did I just kiss him … again?