Chapter 10 Rebecca
REBECCA
What. The. Fuck?
I’m absolutely mortified as I stand before Steven, holding my son’s hand.
The son that I wasn’t ready for him to find out about.
The son that is his …
Now what am I going to tell him?
I can’t break the news now.
Especially not at work, where there are wandering eyes and listening ears.
The last thing I need is to become the office scandal, and it’s only week two of me being employed here.
I know it’s not my parents’ fault that this is happening, especially with the work emergency, but bringing him here?
Why couldn’t they have just called me?
I would’ve come home early and figured something out for the rest of the week.
Steven doesn’t know anything about me having a kid, let alone that it’s his.
Now, he’s here, holding my hand and tugging on Steven’s pant leg.
I want to disappear.
Although this will make a great story one day, if I don’t die of embarrassment before then.
Or if he decides to still talk to me after this.
My mind tries one last ditch effort to make up some excuse, some way to talk my way out of having to admit to him that I’ve been lying to him all this time.
But it’s no use.
I have to face what I’ve been running from for five years.
“Well, hello there.” Steven smiles as he stares down at Damian.
Now I’m faced with either lying to Steven or spilling everything.
My heart is torn.
“What’s your name?” Steven asks.
Damian, with a confidence that he sure didn’t inherit from me, smiles and says, “Damian, what’s yours?” A light giggle comes from my chest.
Damian is so adorable.
He always knows exactly what to say or do to get me to smile, even when it isn’t on purpose.
I think he secretly knows when I’m in desperate need of a distraction.
“I’m Steven,” he replies with a chuckle. “How about we go into my office and talk a little more, huh?” He’s smiling, but I can see the panic behind his eyes, the urgency. I hope he hasn’t put it together …
As we both sit down across from each other, his eyes never leave Damian, who is sitting on my lap.
He stares right back at Steven, still sporting a welcoming smile. He’s truly innocent in all of this. “Am I in trouble?” Damian asks, and I laugh.
Honestly, it’s not him that’s going to be scolded …
“No.” Steven laughs along with me.
But as he stops, it feels like all the oxygen has been sucked out of the room.
It’s hard to breathe, and sweat begins to form on my forehead.
This is a nightmare.
His little hands push off me, jumping to the ground, and before I can grab him, he runs to Steven. “Want to see a cool magic trick?”
Steven’s eyes gleam as he grins. “Heck yeah!” Suddenly, my clammy skin becomes warm as I watch them bond.
It’s been my dream since he was born to have them meet and hope that they connect the way I have with Damian.
To see this in real time …
It has to be a dream.
But maybe this all played out the way it was meant to.
Maybe all of this happened to push me into revealing the truth to Steven.
It’s terrifying for me, but not fair in the slightest to him … either of them.
What kind of person am I to deprive either one of them of a relationship?
They are father and son, after all.
Keeping up this charade will only make the truth that much harsher when it comes out.
But I can’t tell him yet.
At least not here.
I feel as if both sides of the argument in my head are splitting me in two.
When the time comes, I’ll know what to do … at least I hope.
I put my attention back to Damian as he takes a tissue from Steven’s desk and shoves it inside his closed fist.
With a few funny movements and his famous magic word, he opens his hand, and the tissue is no longer there.
“Whoa! Did you see that?” Steven asks me, and I nod. “How’d you do that?”
With the sweetest voice, Damian replies, “A good magician never reveals his tricks.”
“That was wonderful, babe.” Standing, I walk over to Damian and point to the far end of Steven’s office. “Can you go over there and play on your tablet while Steven and I talk?”
He nods, and I place a soft kiss on top of his head before he runs off, finding a spot on the floor to lie on his stomach in front of the screen.
As much as I don’t want to, I turn back to see Steven staring at me with a raised brow, his lips tightly forming a line.
“So,” he says lowly, not wanting to disturb Damian. “You had a kid? Why didn’t I know this?”
An exaggerated sigh escapes me, and I roll my eyes. “Yes … I had a kid. He’s four and is the most wonderful thing in my life.”
He stares deeper into my soul.
I know that Steven wants more than that, but I’m not ready to give him what he wants.
I’m not ready to face the consequences of my own actions.
I’ve changed my mind from my earlier argument with myself.
Hearing him talk about me having a kid set something off in my mind.
If he doesn’t react well to finding out I had a child, what will he do when he learns that it’s his and I hid it from him?
For now … I have to keep things close to the belt.
“Why didn’t you just tell me?” It pains me to see the hurt and disappointment on his face.
I never wanted it to get this far.
I never wanted to hurt him.
“Because I was embarrassed.” It’s not a lie, but it’s not the reason I lied to him. “After I left, I met someone and made one mistake, and it just so happened to result in a child.”
I’m disappointed in myself at this moment.
I have the chance to finally be honest, and I chicken out.
“Becca, it doesn’t change anything. So you made a mistake that resulted in the coolest kid I’ve ever met? Who his dad is doesn’t change how I feel about you. Nothing can change the feelings I have.”
God, do I hope so …
I’m shocked that he bought my lie, especially because if he looked long enough, he could easily see the resemblance between him and Damian.
Even down to the hobbies.
“It’s just a bonus that he is a magic lover. We can bond!”
Steven smiles again, and a small weight is lifted off my heart, but I feel even worse having lied to him yet again.
He is a wonderful man; I don’t deserve him.
But if it protects me and my son from the backlash of my family and his parents, I’ll do what I need to do and explain myself later.
Damian is the only thing that has kept me going these past few years.
I’ve built my life around him, and no one is going to destroy what we have.
“Yeah, but what am I supposed to do for work until I find a sitter?” I speak out loud, but I’m not necessarily speaking to Steven.
Genuinely, I’m worried about keeping this job and making sure some random nut job isn’t watching my son.
Unfortunately, I don’t know many people here anymore, other than people at work, my parents, and my grandmother. “My grandma is only free in the evenings …”
“No need,” Steven interjects. “You can bring Damian to work with you this week while your parents are gone. Between you and me, and the rest of the staff, we will keep him occupied.”
“Are you sure? I don’t want to step on toes or anything.”
Steven waves his hand. “It’s no problem. Hey, Damian,”
Steven hollers across the office, catching his attention away from the tablet. “Want to come to work with Mom the rest of the week?”
“Yeah!” he cheers, throwing his hands up in the air, and I giggle.
Seeing him happy is worth all the hardship that I go through.
I want to make sure his life is perfect, even if I have to sacrifice things.