Chapter 21 Steven
STEVEN
I have a son …
I’ve been driving around the snowy streets of Michigan for hours, unsure how to process this new information. I believed Becca when she told me that the real father was some random person she met after she left Grand Rapids.
Now, I just feel ridiculous and embarrassed for being so naive. All the signs were there, and I chose to ignore them. Now that I know the truth, it’s all coming together. His looks, his hobbies …
They match mine, and that’s something that is inherited, not learned. Was I so blinded by love, I couldn’t see through the lies?
She lied to me for five fucking years. Then she shows back up in my life and lies directly to my face, and I believed her. I feel betrayed again.
And how dare my family do this to me? They knew all this time that I had a child, and they kept it from me. Pretending that everything is fine directly to my face. Do I not have anyone I can trust anymore?
To threaten the woman I love … That took balls.
Now that everything is out in the open, I can’t seem to wrap my head around being a father. Don’t get me wrong, I love Damian. We’ve already bonded so well, but after her lying to me, how can I get over this … How can I ever trust her again?
Without paying attention, my car pulls into the driveway of my parents’ house. I sit for a moment, staring at the lit window of the dining room. I can already imagine them all inside, laughing and enjoying their dinner while I’m out here suffering.
The blood is on their hands, and they haven’t lost an ounce of sleep over hurting me.
That thought fuels me enough to climb out of the car and storm inside without announcing my presence. Practically stomping through the foyer, I stand at the end of their extravagant dining room table that was hand-carved and imported from France.
I only know this because my mother wouldn’t shut up about it for three months after it arrived. My father looks up at me for a second before returning his attention to his plate and laughing at something Mom said earlier.
“What did you do?” I ask low, but loud enough for them to hear me. To my surprise, they choose to ignore me as if they knew this was coming. Of course, they did. They are the ones who told Cam the previous night.
They are the ones who started the chaos.
My hands tighten into fists before I reach forward and clutch one of the empty dinner plates. As hard as I can, I chuck it at the wall beside my mom, and I smile as I watch it shatter to the floor.
Mom jumps, and their eyes now lock onto mine. “Great, I got your attention,” I grunt. “Now, what the fuck did you do?”
“Son, what on earth are you talking about?” my father asks, and it’s obvious he’s playing dumb, which only makes me angrier.
“You know damn well what I’m talking about. The threats to Becca? The child? All about what her grandfather did when he was alive? That doesn’t reflect the person she is. Get over yourselves.”
My father’s face grows red with anger as I lay into them both. “We did what we needed to do, Steven. Do you think you’d be where you are now if she had tied you down with a child? Hell no! We helped you.”
I scoff at his words. “Helped? What a fucking joke,” I holler back at him. “You ruined my life … You ruined hers. And Damian …” I stop myself as I realize that I’ve been angry at Becca, but all she was trying to do was save herself and her unborn baby.
She was protecting me.
She shouldn’t have lied to me, but I now see why she did. I thought I knew just how terrible my parents were, but I was mistaken. They are far worse than I could’ve ever imagined.
“You don’t owe him anything,” Cam announces to my parents as he walks into the dining room holding an open beer. He stands behind his chair and smirks at me. “You saved him from a life of being tied down by some common whore.”
The moment he speaks these words, I see red. Within an instance, I rush up to Cam and shove him hard, causing him to drop his beer on my mother’s precious white carpet.
“What the hell, man,” Cam exclaims.
“Say it again.” With my warning to him, my nose is practically touching his as my wide eyes shoot daggers into his.
That all-too-familiar grin forms on his face. The one he makes right before choosing violence. “I said Rebecca Gallagher is nothing but a fucking slut.”
My hands shove into his chest again, harder this time, and the momentum sends him flying back. He loses his balance. As his ass bounces across the floor, I drop to my knees, pinning him down, and I raise my fist back, ready to drill it directly into his face.
I feel a hand grab my hand before I can make contact, and I scream out of frustration. I know my father wants to stop me because we are his kids, but Cam deserves a lesson. All I want to do is make him hurt like I’m hurting.
“That’s enough, Steven.” I barely hear my father’s voice over Cam screaming for me to get off him. I have to admit … watching him squirm is comical.
I grunt one last time right in his face to scare him as I stand up and back away from him and shake my head. “You know what,” I say, “you’re not worth it … None of this is worth it. I’m done. Don’t contact me ever again. Don’t contact Becca ever again.”
Turning on my heels, I walk toward the front door again, but stop.
“Oh, and by the way,” I say as I turn back around momentarily.
“You’re obviously fired.” I watch Cam’s face drop as my father helps him up to his feet.
“Maybe they can help you now since they’ve done nothing but coddle your ass all your life. ”
As I leave, I slam the door as hard as I can. The cold winter air cools my heated skin as I walk to my car. I have to admit, even though I’m still distraught, telling them off is the best feeling in the world.
For many years, I fantasized about the day I could do that. I just chalked it up to wishful thinking, assuming that the day would never come. But now that it happened, I have never felt lighter.
I meant every word I said to them. I no longer want anything to do with them, or anyone in my family, for that matter.
After taking a moment to breathe, I race home, wanting nothing more than my bed. I’ve never had such a long day in my entire life.
A small part of me wishes that Becca were there waiting for me, but I’m not sure if I have any fight left in me tonight. The moment I pull into my driveway, my phone chimes from the passenger seat.
Names run through my mind like a roulette wheel. Who could be messaging me after the eventful day I had? A worried employee, someone in my family to ream me out, or maybe it’s Becca, trying to get me to talk to her.
None of which I want to see.
Against my better judgment, I pick up my phone, and my heart aches.
Becca: I’m sorry that I lied to you. I understand if you don’t want to talk to me, but I really hope you can forgive me one day.
It has nothing to do with me forgiving her one day. It has everything to do with the fact that she lied to me and that I’m going to need time to wrap my head around this bombshell.
I still love Becca with all my heart, and I know that with time, things will heal. They did before between us. But I need her to understand that I can’t just forget.
I decide not to text her back, at least not tonight, and climb out of the car. It takes me only a few seconds after getting inside to find my bed, and I collapse fully clothed. My weekend plans will consist of nothing more than moping around my house, not wanting to see anyone.
Maybe after time alone, I’ll be ready, but only time will tell.
It still baffles me that I’m a father overnight.
Can I really be someone’s dad? I do know for sure that when it comes to loving him, I’ll be a hell of a lot better than what I had growing up.
Having always dreamed of being a father, the idea does excite me. Being able to love someone who unconditionally loves me back, having someone to pass on my knowledge and accomplishments to …
Now that I have the chance to do things right, it scares the hell out of me that I’ll screw it all up.