CHAPTER 5
FALLON
The book in my lap has no hope of holding my attention. It could be the most amazing, enticing, dramatic piece of literary awesomeness, but it wouldn’t stand a chance. Not when I have Hutch to steal my attention from these measly words on the page.
Poor dead trees soaked in ink and filled with the effort of some author somewhere. I’m completely unable to focus on a damn thing.
Well, at least nothing beyond Hutch across the room with his own book. He’s at least turned a page though while I’ve been pretending to stare at the same word for the last 40 minutes. Is he not as distracted by me as I am by him? How is he capable of reading right now?
It feels like the tension between us has been steadily growing since I arrived a few days ago. And holy shit, it is almost too much for me to deal with.
I’m not sure what is going to happen, but I’m pretty sure that if he breathes in my direction just the right way then I’ll be climbing him like a damn tree. Or maybe I’ll be humping his leg. Either could happen at this point.
Balancing on the knife’s edge is both exhilarating and exhausting.
It has not been easy to sleep these last few nights, not when I was acutely aware of Hutch being so close and yet so far away. Everything in me wanted to go into his room and crawl into bed next to him. I feel so much safer in his arms. I felt a little bit weird about it at first, but I’ve come to accept it over the last few days.
I’m sure it helps how he’s never been far from me. And he finds ways to touch me and hold me. Hutch has grounded me, making me feel like I can exist in the here and now instead of floating in the what ifs which threaten to pull me under.
There are so many what ifs left from my old life.
What if I had never found that hidden file? What if I hadn’t listened to Echo and gone to a hotel? What if I hadn’t reached out to Echo about what I had found? What if I didn’t remember my brother telling me at Higgins Security?
There are never going to be answers to these questions because I chose my path. The only thing I can do is walk it. Even though it’s scary. Even though I have no idea where it leads.
What I don’t have to question is the way Hutch makes me feel. I’m safe with him, but there’s something else between us and I’m not sure if I’m ready to examine it yet.
My body hums with a knowing sensuality whenever he’s close to me, and he’s guaranteed that he’s close to me often. He makes me feel alive and seen. I want him.
Then go and get him.
I’ve never been all that great with men, I was always better keeping my head buried in a book and focusing on work. That’s not to say I’ve never tried my hand at a relationship, because I have. I’m a nerdy bookwork who loves my job, not a blushing virgin.
Except Hutch has the ability to make me blush just by looking at me. Which is kind of strange.
I’m confident with my body and I’ve enjoyed sex with the partners I’ve had in the past. But there was something…missing in my past relationships. A spark? A fire? I’m not even sure how to describe it, but what I do know is that it exists in the space between Hutch and me.
“You know if you keep looking at me, Beautiful, I’m going to give into my desires. I’m not sure you’re ready for that,” Hutch’s voice is deep and languid, skittering across my skin and making goosebumps cover me.
I scrunch my face up and squeeze my eyes shut, not realizing I had given up completely on pretending to read and was, instead, staring at him like I’m starving.
Fuck, but you are hungry.
Starving, actually.
Hutch chuckles, but I don’t open my eyes. When I hear the soft thud of his book hitting the coffee table, I internally brace. Considering everything that has happened to me recently, not knowing what he’s going to do next should scare me, but it only excites me. I trust Hutch and I know I’m not in danger around him.
No, only your panties are in danger of melting off.
I almost snort out a laugh because my subconscious has become hussified over the last few days. Not that I can blame her; Hutch is a fine specimen of a man, and he deserves all the fawning and hussification.
What is holding you back? Get that man. Climb him and ride him until you can’t feel your legs.
My throat goes dry as I imagine straddling Hutch’s hips and sliding down his cock. The bulge in his jeans, which I’ve had to tear my eyes away from more than once, promises a damn good time. Still, I’m not that forward; I’ve never been that person.
But that’s not what has me holding back.
This is a high-pressure situation, one where everything is heightened, and nothing can be processed normally. While I might be attracted to Hutch no matter what situation we met in, I don’t know if the same is true for Hutch. Maybe the sparks always fly when he’s put in a situation to protect a woman.
That thought is sobering and depressing as hell, but I know it’s true all the same. I’m trying to be realistic here. As good as it would feel to let go and give into the force of the attraction trying to pull us together like magnets, I’m not sure if I can trust it.
Is this feeling real or is it just because we’re in this situation which is so outside of the norm? I’m not sure and feeling like the ground is soft under my feet makes me unsettled and jumpy. It’s not helpful that being around Hutch makes me horny as hell.
My heart starts to pound as he approaches me. I crane my neck back as he cages me in where I’m sitting. His hazel eyes are alight with hunger and something deeper. The way his eyes take me in has me wanting to close the distance between us.
Holding myself back takes all my willpower.
“What do you want for dinner, Fallon?” His words are a caress, and I barely stop myself from shivering in my seat and biting back a moan.
“I’m not hungry,” I spit out the words, feeling off balance and untethered.
The smile that curls Hutch’s lips make me want to throat punch him a little bit. “Yes,” he rumbles, “you are, but maybe not for food.”
My eyes widen as I freeze and Hutch smirks at me. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” my voice comes out much higher than it normally is which is not helping matters at all. Hutch makes a humming sound and it’s just too much. “Why are you so close to me? You’re always so close to me. Always touching me. Always making me too aware of my body and how much I want you. It’s annoying,” I snap.
As the words that just flew out of my mouth filter back through my mind, I slap my hand over my mouth and close my eyes. I’m completely mortified. Did I really just say that? What the hell is wrong with me?
Before I know what is going on, Hutch throws me over his shoulder and starts stalking through the cabin and toward the one room where I’ve never been. His room.
“I’m sorry,” I breathe out, “I’m just stressed out. I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.”
He doesn’t say anything, not even when he steps into his room and flips me over onto his bed and then follows me down. His body covers mine and while he uses his forearms on either side of my head to keep most of his weight off me, I can still feel ever plane of his hard body. I arch up into his body, the heat from him seeping into me and making me feel out of control.
“You want me,” Hutch murmurs as his glides the tip of his nose up my neck and along my jawline.
“Yes,” I moan, my hips moving against his, needing the friction.
It’s almost impossible to keep the threads of my sanity pulled together and not be lost in the abyss of finally being this close to him. This feels so real. I desperately want it to be real.
“Look at me,” Hutch rumbles.
My eyes snap open and gaze into his hazel eyes; they’re full of heat and hunger. I swear I can see the glimmer of a future in those depths.
I whisper, “Is this real?”
“Oh,” he grinds down against me, the hard ridge of his cock finding my clit perfectly, “this is very real. We both felt it the moment our eyes met.”
I’m nodding, thinking back to looking up and seeing Hutch for the first time. Even with the distance between us, I could feel something clicking into place. I could try and brush it off as the situation, but my soul knows differently.
“Fallon,” he growls as he takes me in like I’m shinier than a shooting star.
When his lips crash down onto mine, the feeling that overtakes me steals my breath. My arms twine around his neck and I pull him down until he’s pressed against me completely. His weight feels like comfort to me.
Safety.
Security.
Home.
“I’m going to help you forget all about what’s been bringing you down and help you relax,” he murmurs against my lips. “After you come on my tongue, I’m going to make you dinner and then we’ll snuggle in front of the fire.”
Fucking perfect.
His movements are slow as he moves down my body, his mouth caressing my jaw and neck. My hard nipples are clearly visible through the thin shirt I’m wearing since I don’t have to worry about being cold with the fire he’s had going in the living room. When he pulls one of my stiff peaks into his mouth through my shirt, my back arches and my moan fills the room.
“That’s it, Beautiful,” he grits out through his teeth like he’s barely holding himself back, “let me hear you.
As he bites down on my nipple, my vision goes hazy, and my fingers dive into his dark hair. I’m not sure if I want to push him away or hold him closer to my body at this point. The pleasure is good; too good.
When he pops off my breast and dives toward the other one, bliss like I’ve ever experienced before has my pussy flooding while I squirm underneath the weight of him. He’s all teeth and sensual caresses, his hands moving over my body until his fingers hook into the waistband of my leggings.
The feral sound that comes from the back of his throat as he abandons my nipple and slides down between my legs has my thighs falling open. “Fuck,” he rasps, “no panties, Fallon? What a good fucking girl,” he purrs.
Yeah, that’s it. I’ve died. I wasn’t in a hotel room the other night and those men killed me instead of causing me to run. None of this is happening and it’s all just my own personal version of heaven.
But when Hutch slides his tongue between my pussy lips, I know I’m wrong. This is real. Very fucking real.
Before I can take a breath, the taste he has allowed himself is clearly not enough. The way he covers my pussy with his mouth and the sounds he’s making as he devours me can’t be denied. Nor can the way I feel his devotion.
It’s in every swipe of his tongue, every scrape of his teeth against my tender flesh, every grunt of approval of my taste that falls from his lips.
“Hutch,” I moan, moving my hips against his mouth, needing more, begging for it with my body.
“That’s right,” he eggs me on, “take your pleasure. You’re fucking stunning, Fallon.”
I look down the length of my half-naked form and our eyes locked. There is something in his gaze I’m not ready to face, not ready to name, but I see it. I see him.
Even the pain he tries to hide. Even the need he has to keep himself isolated while still feeling useful. Even the way he wants to wrap me up in safety and never let me go.
When he sucks my clit into his mouth, I’m done. Stars dance in my vision as the coil in my gut tightens and tightens until I’m sure I can’t take it anymore.
I can hear his demand even though he never says a word.
“Give it to me. Come.”
“Yes,” I gasp that coil releasing as my thighs shake and warmth ripples out from the depth of my soul, overtaking my body and lapping against a pleasure I’ve never experienced before.
“Good girl,” his words of praise are muffled against my drenched skin, but I feel them just as clearly as I hear them.
My limbs feel heavy as I the last of my orgasm starts to fade. And Hutch is right there, helping me down until my toes almost touch the ground again.
When he’s hovering above me, my eyes snap open and I can’t do anything other than stare up into his hazel orbs. They sparkle with lust and amusement, which I know, somehow, isn’t a feeling this man is used to experiencing.
How strange.
Hutch’s lips descend upon mine and I can taste myself on his skin. It’s a heady combination, one that reignites a hunger foreign to me until meeting him.
“Dinner first, Beautiful,” he admonishes gently as if he can read my mind.
Maybe he can. I find I’m more than okay with it.
It’s only when he slowly stands up and my eyes go straight to the way his cock is straining against the fly of his jeans that I realize he never even took them off. I bite my lip as my mouth waters. He clears his throat which has my gaze snapping up to meet his.
All he does is wink at me before striding out of the room, a spring in his silent steps.
“Woah,” I breathe out and melt back against his bed which smells like pine and him.
Woah is fucking right.