Chapter Three
Sean
Of all the people to come across stuck on the side of the road, it had to be her.
I should’ve been expecting it, but at the same time, I never would’ve thought she wouldn’t be a seasoned driver by now.
That she would know to avoid the snow piles.
Once I got out of my truck and saw her face, the surprise hit me square in the chest of just how beautiful she’s become.
I always believed she was pretty when we were younger, but time has been kind to her as she’s absolutely stunning.
I’d seen the tail end of the hunter green sedan sticking out of the piled-up snow along the side of the road as I was driving by and had immediately pulled over.
Knowing it was the same car Winter drove the last time I saw her, and the ‘what if it’s really her’ scenario momentarily flashed through my mind.
I’d waved it off, thinking she’d surely have a different vehicle by now, I mean, that was probably fifteen years ago, at least. Boy, was I wrong in assuming, and in my mistake, I’d been taken off guard the moment I saw her.
She’d stared at me with those stunning hot cocoa-colored irises of hers, and the greeting I’d had on the tip of my tongue went quiet.
Then she screamed, which made things awkward.
She always smelled so good, too, and having her scent lingering in my truck after I’d dropped her off stirred up even more memories we’d shared in the past. Once I’d admitted to her how I thought of her eyes as hot cocoa, she started wearing this intoxicating perfume that was a mixture of vanilla and marshmallow.
You could put her next to a fire out in the cold with friends back in the day, and it was my favorite place to be.
So imagine my surprise in discovering she’s still wearing it…
It can’t be because of me, right?
Having her in the seat next to me on the ride to the farm made me realize that it’s been way too long since I’ve actually seen her in person.
Of course, I’ve done the random social media recon when one of our mutuals would tag her in a ‘visiting’ post or something, but for the most part, I’ve tried to forget about her.
I had no other choice, as she’s the one who’s had my heart all along, and I knew there was no way she’d take me back.
I may’ve been the one to turn away from us as a couple all those years ago and break up with her, but at the time, I thought I was doing the right thing.
I had just accepted a scholarship to a college in another state, and at the time, I had no choice.
I had several offers on the board, but I had to take the one the Pines agreed to let me play hockey at, since they basically owned my future.
There was also the fact that Dad had passed away when I was younger, and I knew at some point I’d probably need to step in and help Mom so she could eventually retire.
It wasn’t fair for her to be left with the debt Dad’s passing caused, along with raising me alone, and I was determined to make sure she didn’t struggle.
In order to do that, I had to go to college for as long as I could, play the best hockey I’d ever played in my entire life, and work my butt off to finally get my signing bonus to the NHL.
The Pines had signed me early, but I didn’t see a cent until I actually walked on to the team and showed them that I could play at the pro level.
Little did I know, but Mom went back to school during the hours she wasn’t busy working.
She’d surprised me when she sent me an invitation to her graduation.
She became a nurse all while still managing to consistently check on me and make me somehow feel as if I was the center of her attention at all times.
I don’t know how she did it, working full-time, going to school, and being a great long-distance mom, but she did.
I’d asked her why she didn’t tell me, and she had said it was because she didn’t know if she could do it in the end, and didn’t want to fail in front of me.
I couldn’t believe Mom would ever doubt herself, and at the time, it made me realize she’s not the ‘super mom’ on a pedestal I’ve always believed she was.
I gained so much new respect for her, showing her vulnerability and overcoming it in the process.
Other reasons pushed me to move away from Noel Falls and stop speaking to Winter as well.
The first, namely being her grandfather.
Winter and I hadn’t been dating for very long at the time when I’d run into her grandfather in the village.
I was crazy about her already at that point, and was in one of the small shops attempting to find her a sterling silver locket.
I wanted to surprise her and get something engraved to make it an extra special gift.
Even with us being young at the time, I’d already felt deep inside that she was different somehow.
Anyway, I’ll never forget the look he’d given me when I’d told him about my plan and gift for his granddaughter.
I was expecting a pat on the back and to be cheered on, that I was doing a good job of treating her sweetly before making it official and asking her to be my long-distance girlfriend while I went to college.
I thought maybe she’d even want to come with me…
Instead, I got a lecture that hit me straight out of left field and had my chest aching as he went on to explain how easily Winter’s mind could be influenced at her age.
He was quite clear on her family's worries and how they all believed she’d give up on her dreams to follow me along, while I chased mine.
I tried to make him see reason and explain how I’d never expect anything of the sort from her, but he was adamant in his beliefs, and that in the end…
I’d be the one to ruin her life.
There was no way I could allow myself to stand in her way of achieving whatever she wanted. My parents had raised me to believe that when you truly care for someone, you sacrifice if necessary. You let the person spread their wings and fly; never hold them back.
I did what was asked of me, no matter how much it bothered me. I ended our short relationship, and I quietly slipped away into the background. Then, I left for college, refusing to ever clip Winter’s wings and to only set her free.
I can’t say I nursed a huge heartache for long.
Was I sad when I first pulled away from her?
Of course. Like I mentioned, when Winter and I were together, I felt a deeper connection with her.
It was probably way too strong and much too fast for it to be happening, but it never got the chance to fully blossom, and, in the end, I think I missed our friendship the most.
When I told her we couldn’t be together anymore, she stopped speaking to me altogether.
Not that I can blame her for it. If the roles had been reversed, I’d probably have done the same thing.
At the time, I thought she hated me, so I left her alone.
Now that I’m older and can look back at the situation, I can see she was hurting.
If I could go back and do things differently, I would’ve kept trying to talk to her so she knew I was truly sorry, and we could’ve possibly remained friends over the years.
The spark between us is still there. I felt it the moment I looked into her eyes and then more strongly when she fell into my arms. It was as if she was meant to be there all along, and I was too foolish to shake myself out of my college stupor before being bogged down with studies and practices, to let myself ever remember.
Then, my college time ran out, and the NHL quickly took over everything.
Life just kept pushing me further and further away from Winter.
Now, it’s almost as if we’re two strangers who have this overwhelming chemistry, but she’s still too hurt from the past to acknowledge it, and would rather pretend she doesn’t know me at all.
It's okay, we may not be meant to be together forever, or perhaps we are, and our meeting each other like this is kismet. Either way, I’m not making the same mistake as I did before.
I plan to talk to her every chance I get.
Maybe, just maybe, I can get her to stop seeing me as a bad guy and be able to have one of my friends back.
I’d love to have more time with her. I’ve never lost interest, in fact, but I don’t know if she’d ever give me a true chance. Besides, I’m not sure if nursing a freshly broken heart is what I need over the holidays and then straight into the second half of our season, if she were to turn me down.
I silently send up thanks that I have my strict practice schedule to keep up with while I’m at home, and that I keep up with it, because there’s a chance she never would’ve gotten a ride had I not been on my way.
Some of my teammates like to say that I go too hard on our days off, even when we’re supposed to be resting and relaxing with our families, but I can’t help it.
Hockey has given me everything I have in life, including the nice-sized nest egg I’ve set aside for whenever Mom decides to hang up her scrubs and retire.
I want her to be comfortable, so I work hard for my high-paying contracts and signing bonuses.
I’ve also been setting some of my money aside in stocks and bonds for whatever I plan to do in the second half of my life, as well as investing in small start-up businesses that have struggled and been denied by banks.
My time is coming up, and I know retirement is just a year or two away, most likely.
If I were a goalie, for example, I’d still have another five or ten years left in me, but I’m not that lucky.