Chapter 31 Holly
HOLLY
The truck bounces along the snow-covered road, and I stare out the window at the white landscape blurring past. My eyes are swollen from crying.
My throat is raw. But at least I'm away from the lodge. Away from the insanity of Nikolai’s world and the shattered remains of what I thought was the truth.
At least now I can breathe.
"Thank you for coming," I say quietly. "I didn't know who else to call."
“It’s okay, I’m pleased you did.”
I don’t know if it’s because I feel shattered about everything that’s happened, or if I’m imagining things because I feel emotional. But there is something different about Andrei this morning. He doesn’t seem as lighthearted and sweet as the boy in Katya’s kitchen.
He could barely make eye contact with me when we met at the end of the driveway.
Didn’t ask questions or seem to want to talk when I climbed in the car.
He’s probably just tired.
Or maybe I am.
“I hope I didn’t interrupt your sleep. I know it’s early.”
Andrei doesn't respond.
I glance over at him. His hands are tight on the steering wheel, his knuckles white. His jaw is clenched, and he's staring straight ahead at the road with an intensity that makes something cold curl in my stomach.
“And I appreciate you driving all the way out here to pick me up.”
Again, Andrei says nothing. And the unease in my stomach spreads.
"I just need you to take me to a hotel in town," I say. "Somewhere I can think. Figure out what to do next."
Finally, Andrei breaks his silence.
"I can't do that." His voice is flat and empty. "I'm sorry, Holly."
My heart skips a beat.
"What do you mean you can't?"
He doesn't look at me. Just keeps staring at the road, his body rigid with tension.
"Andrei." I sit up straighter, my heart starting to pound. "Please. I can't go back to Nikolai."
"I'm not taking you to Nikolai."
For one brief second, relief flickers through me. But then I see his expression, and the relief dies as quickly as it came.
"Then where are we going?"
Silence.
"Andrei, where are you taking me?"
"To someone else."
My blood turns to ice.
"Who?" The word comes out as a whisper.
He doesn't answer.
"Who are you taking me to, Andrei?" I demand, my voice rising with panic.
His grip tightens on the wheel. "Just some guy."
"What guy?"
"A man who approached me in town a couple of days ago. A rich suit type. Russian." Andrei's jaw works like he's chewing on something bitter.
My asshole grandfather?
“He said he knew where I worked. Offered me money. Big money.”
“For what?”
“Feed him information on what was happening inside the lodge now that Mr. Morozov was back in town.”
“And you did?”
“It was a lot of money, Holly.”
“For you to betray Nikolai.”
"I’m over a barrel. I owe money. Lots of money.
Made a few bad bets and racked up a debt I can’t pay.
I’ve spent months holding the wolves at bay.
Waking up in the middle of the night wondering if today was the day the men I owed came looking for payment.
Then this guy shows up in town. Offered me a lifeline out of the shit I was in. ”
“And what does he want now?”
“Told me to offer you my number in case you ever needed it. Said if I could bring you to him, he’d triple the money he was paying me.”
Fear funnels through me.
“Andrei, please. You don’t need to do this.”
“Yes, I do, Holly. I need that money.”
“Nikolai will offer you more.”
“You’re kidding me, aren’t you? Nikolai will kill me the moment he sees me. He doesn’t forgive. He’s ruthless. He will see this as a betrayal and make sure I pay with my hands, my feet, my mouth, and my eyes.”
He’s right. Nikolai will tear him to pieces and then set fire to them.
“You know this man you’re taking me to wants to kill me, right?”
I can tell by the look on the on Andrei’s face that he does. But still, he tries to make himself feel better about betraying me by suggesting otherwise. “You don’t know that.”
“Yes, I do. They’ve already tried.”
He glances at me. “I’m sorry, Holly. I’m just doing what I have to.”
With a sinking feeling I realize I’m not gonna be able to talk my way out of this. But it’s not in my nature to not try to fight back.
“I can’t let you do this, Andrei.”
“You can’t stop me.”
“But I can try…”
I lurch for the steering wheel and yank it towards me. Because I would rather die in the freezing cold than at the hand of Yuri The fucking Wolf.
I’m not going to give him the satisfaction of doing it himself.
Even if it means facing the same nightmare that tried to take me once before, knowing I won’t be lucky enough to survive it again.
Taken by surprise, Andrei loses control.
The car starts to spin and veers off the road, airborne as we go down the embankment.
It’s like being inside a missile ploughing its way through the trees and the undergrowth.
And as the world rushes past me, I remember the night of the accident with my parents, and I can feel them in the car with me.
I’m going to die, but instead of being afraid, I feel at peace.
That’s when we hit a tree and my world goes black.
It’s the shivering that wakes me up. My teeth are chattering, and my body is shaking.
As I become more awake, I am aware of the eerie silence around me. The wind has stopped howling, but it is snowing now, and inside the car the temperature has plummeted.
I feel stiff, sore, and cold.
Wincing, I turn my head to the left and see the driver seat is empty and the door is open. Andrei has gone, and he’s left me for dead.
I take a moment to get my bearings. I do an audit on my body.
Check if anything is broken, or if anything hurts when I move.
But I’m okay. I think. I release my seatbelt but can’t open my door because the snow has piled up on the other side of it.
My only hope of getting out of the car is via the driver’s side.
Cold and bruised, I climb over the middle console and awkwardly fall over the driver’s seat and out onto the snow. I gasp with pain and the sudden inhalation of cold air down my throat.
Catching my breath, I climb to my knees, then slowly rise to my feet. I feel dizzy but steady myself against the car.
Get it together, Holly. If you’re going to survive this, you need to get away from this car before Andrei alerts the wrong people to your whereabouts.
The embankment up to the road is only a few yards away, but it’s a steep slope. So steep it might as well be an entire mountain. But I need to conquer it to reach the side of the road and hopefully wave somebody down.
Taking unsteady steps, I try to get up the snowy incline but lose my footing and slide back down again.
A second, third and fourth attempt all end the same way. I can’t get enough traction, and I am getting weaker with every attempt.
Exhausted, I try again. But this time I almost break both my legs when I tumble back down to the bottom again.
Too weak for another attempt, I feel the darkness closing in.
I know if I shut my eyes, I will die here.
But my eyelids are growing heavier and heavier by the second.
And with a sinking heart, I realize I am never going to see Nikolai again.
I’m never going to feel the warmth of his skin against mine.
Never feel the safety of being in his arms again.
I close my eyes and feel the darkness pull me under.
But then strong arms wrap around me and lift me up. Nikolai. His broad chest shields me from the cold and the snow, his heat seeping into me as he carries me to the warmth of a waiting car.
I can barely open my eyes, but when I do, I see Nikolai’s beautiful face. His jaw is tight. His face emotionless. But his eyes blaze with rage and fear and relief.
“Nikolai…” His name slips from my lips in a whisper.
His beautiful eyes meet mine. “It’s okay, malyshka, you’re safe now.”
I close my eyes again and sigh.
Because I believe him.