Chapter 34 Nikolai
NIKOLAI
The water scalds my skin, but I welcome the pain. It's a distraction from the chaos in my head.
Two hours until The Wolf arrives.
Two hours until I end this nightmare once and for all.
I brace my hands against the marble tile and let the water pound against my shoulders. My plan is dangerous, but it's the only way. Yuri won't stop until he gets what he wants. And men like him don't negotiate. They take. They destroy. They leave nothing but blood and ashes in their wake.
I have no choice but to stop him.
Shutting off the water, I step out of the shower and dry off. I dress carefully. Black suit. Black shirt. No tie. Each movement is methodical, like I’m preparing for war and I’m dressing in the armor I need for the battle ahead.
I leave the bathroom and walk toward the guest room. Dmitri is waiting near the stairs, his face grim.
"Everything is in place," he says. "The men are positioned. When The Wolf arrives—"
"I need a moment with Holly first." I cut him off.
He nods and steps aside.
I make my way to her room but pause outside the door.
My hand hovers over the handle, and for a moment, I consider walking away.
Because once I open this door, I'll see what I've done to her written all over her face. The devastation and the betrayal. All the pieces of her I shattered yesterday when I told her the truth about her family.
And some cowardly part of me—the part that isn't pakhan, that isn't the ruthless asshole everyone believes me to be—doesn't want to see it. Doesn't want to watch her look at me like I'm the monster who destroyed her world.
Even though I am.
But that's exactly why I have to open it.
Because she needs to know that no matter how badly I've hurt her, I will always show up. I will always find her when she needs to be found.
So I grip the handle and push the door open.
Holly is sitting up in bed, wrapped in blankets. Her face is pale, her eyes red-rimmed from crying. When she sees me, her expression almost buckles under the weight of holding back her tears.
“I’m sorry I ran.”
“My love…” I drop beside her bed.
“I got frightened. It was stupid.” Her face cracks. “Thank you for finding me. I was so scared.”
“I will always find you.”
“I know.”
I slide onto the bed beside her and gather her into my arms. She comes willingly, tucking herself against my chest with a broken sound that tears me apart.
Her face presses into my neck, her breath warm against my skin.
My heart hammers so hard I'm certain she can feel it. The terror I've been holding back since I found her in the snow.
I could have lost her.
The woman who's become everything.
For a long moment, we just hold each other.
“The Wolf is on his way,” I say softly.
I feel her stiffen, then she lets out a rough exhale and nods.
“But you will be safe in here. I have two men right outside that bedroom door. Noone is getting in.”
She lets me go. “Are you sure this is a good idea?”
I cup her face. “This ends today, malyshka. I won’t let anyone hurt you ever again.”
I brush my lips to hers and then let her go.
I am ready to make good on that vow.
I leave her and walk toward the door.
"Nikolai."
I stop, my hand on the doorknob.
"Be careful," she says quietly.
I look back at her, and for a moment, our eyes meet. In hers, I see fear. And beneath it, love.
I walk out, closing the door behind me, and prepare to face the monster who's been hunting the woman I love.