Chapter 39 Nikolai
NIKOLAI
The lodge comes into view through the car window, and something in my chest loosens for the first time in three weeks.
Home.
Not because of the structure itself but because Holly is here. And home, I've learned, isn't a place. It’s her.
The car stops, and Dmitri moves to help me out, but I wave him off. I'm still healing and sore as hell, but I can climb out of a goddamn car. Three weeks in that hospital bed has made me grumpy. But I am healing and over the worst.
And fucking grateful to be home.
“You can take the rest of the afternoon off,” I tell him. “I want to get reacquainted with my wife.”
He smiles knowingly and returns to the driver’s seat.
Holly appears in the doorway before I've even made it up the porch steps. She's wearing one of my sweaters and it's enormous on her. Those big brown eyes find mine, and the worry that's been living in them for weeks softens into something else.
Relief. Joy. Love.
I make it through the door, and the moment it closes behind me, I reach for her.
She comes willingly, carefully avoiding my injured side as I pull her against me. My hand slides into her hair, tilting her face up to mine, and then I'm kissing her.
God, I've missed this.
Missed her. Missed us. Missed the way she fits against me like she was made for this exact purpose.
The kiss is soft at first, almost tentative, like she's afraid of hurting me. But I deepen it, because I need more. I need to taste her and remind myself that I'm alive and she's here and we survived.
When we finally break apart, she rests her forehead against my chest.
"Welcome home," she whispers.
I press a kiss to the top of her head. "It's good to be back."
She pulls away slightly to look up at me, her hands resting gently on my chest, careful of the bandages beneath my shirt. "How are you feeling?"
I brush a strand of hair behind her ear. "Better now that I'm here with you."
I take her hand and lead her toward the living room, settling carefully onto the couch. She curls up beside me.
"We need to talk about what comes next," I say.
She nods. "I know."
"I need to get back to New York. But I’m not going without you. I need you with me. I don’t want to be apart from you. We can live in my penthouse or buy something new. Whatever you want, malyshka. And if you want to get remarried —"
"We’re already married," she interrupts softly. "I’m already your wife."
Something warm spreads through my chest at those words. Your wife.
"I have to return soon," I continue. "Clean up the mess Yuri's death and Ivan’s betrayal left behind. There are things that need my attention."
She lifts her head to look at me. "When do we leave?"
"Tomorrow." I cup her face in my hand. "But I want one day of rest first. One day where it's just us. No business, no Bratva politics, no cleanup. Just you and me."
Her lips curve into a smile. "That sounds perfect."
"And when I say rest," I say, my voice dropping lower. "What I really mean is I want to spend the rest of the day buried inside you."
Her teeth crush her lip, and I watch the color bloom across her cheeks. Even after everything we've been through, I can still make her blush.
"You just got out of the hospital," she reminds me, but there's heat in her eyes.
"Exactly. I've been lying in that bed for three weeks, thinking about all the things I wanted to do to you once I got out." I lean in, my lips brushing her ear. "All the ways I wanted to make you come. All the sounds I wanted to hear you make."
She doesn't need to be asked twice.
The bedroom is bathed in afternoon light, soft and golden. Holly helps me out of my shirt, her fingers gentle as she navigates around the bandages, and I'm struck by how tender she is.
"I'm not going to break," I tell her.
"I know." She presses a kiss to my collarbone. "But I'm allowed to be careful with you."
I catch her chin, tilting her face up to mine. "Later, you can be as careful as you want. Right now, I just need you."
Understanding flashes in her eyes, and she nods.
We undress each other slowly and when we're finally skin to skin, I guide her back onto the bed.
I run my hand down her body, memorizing every curve, every dip, every place that makes her shiver. She does the same to me, her touch featherlight and worshipful, like she's relearning me.
"I thought I lost you," she whispers, her hand over my heart, feeling it beat strong and steady beneath her palm.
"Never." I cover her hand with mine. "You're stuck with me now."
"Good." She leans in and kisses me, soft and sweet and full of promise.
The kiss deepens and I roll onto her and settle between her thighs. I’m so fucking hard and desperate for her there is no way I’m going to last.
She's already ready for me, and when I push inside her, we both groan.
This is what I needed. Not just the physical sensation, but the connection. The intimacy. The proof that we're both here, together.
I move slowly, every stroke deep and controlled. This isn't about rushing toward release. It's about savoring every second of this with my wife.
Holly's hands roam my back, my shoulders, my arms, like she needs to touch all of me at once. Her lips find my jaw, my neck, and that spot behind my ear that makes me groan.
"I love you," she whispers against my skin. "I love you so much."
"I love you too, solnyshko." I capture her mouth in a deep kiss.
She arches beneath me, taking me deeper, and I have to close my eyes against the intensity of it all. Not just the physical pleasure but the emotional weight of this moment.
I almost lost this. Almost lost her.
The thought drives me to move faster, harder, despite the pull of healing muscle and the doctor's warnings about taking it easy. I need her to feel what I'm feeling. I need her to understand that she's mine and I'm hers and nothing will ever change that.
"Nikolai," she gasps, her nails digging into my shoulders. "I'm close… you feel so good…"
"Let go," I rasp.
Her body tightens around me, and then she's coming, and my name is falling from her lips.
The sensation pushes me over the edge and my orgasm hits me everywhere, and I come inside her with a groan that comes from somewhere deep in my soul.
We collapse together, both breathing hard, our bodies still joined. I roll carefully onto my back, bringing her with me so she's draped across my chest, with her head over my heart.
For a long moment, we just breathe together.
"Are you okay?" she asks, her fingers tracing idle patterns on my skin.
I press a kiss to her hair. "Better than okay."
And I am.
Because I’m with her.
My solnyshko. My little sun.
The woman I'm going to spend the rest of my life with.