Chapter 13 Abaddon
ABADDON
Holly’s words stopped me in my tracks, the elation draining from me like water from a shattered glass. I’d spoken as soon as the idea was in my head, instead of waiting until I had thought it through.
And I saw the pain it caused Holly, written across her expression. Worst of all, I couldn’t walk it back. As badly as I wanted to stay with her as long as she’d have me, I had responsibilities. A war. People I’d sworn to protect, if any of them remained alive.
None of which was what Holly wanted to hear. Nor was it what I wanted to say. Duty was a curse.
The silence weighed heavily on us both, and I cursed under my breath.
“Holly, I do not wish to leave you. If I could, I would stay with you forever. But that isn’t possible.”
“I’m not asking for forever,” she replied, stepping out of my grasp and turning to look up at me. “I’m mortal, I don’t get to have that anyway. But I’d like you not to fuck off the morning after we have sex.”
“I would not abandon you like that, even if it were possible. And I cannot; it will take time for me to prepare.” I hoped that would reassure her.
“Great. So you’ll keep me around until you can build your portal, then fuck off out of my life.”
I tried to think of a response, but Holly raised a finger to my lips.
Tears ran down her face. “No, you don’t need to argue.
You’ve not promised me anything, you don’t owe me anything, and this isn’t your fault.
It’s just, for a moment, this felt like a good thing?
Like it was fate that I crashed, that you found me. Fuck.”
She lowered her finger, but I no longer had anything to say. Opening my arms, I let her come to me and held her in a tight hug, her tears steaming where they hit my chest.
“If I do not fight him, eventually Baal’s forces will find me here,” I said after a while. “And they are brutal, malevolent conquerors. They will not stop with me, not once they have a foothold.”
She didn’t answer, just hugged me tighter, and I shut up. Yes, I’d protect her by leaving. That wouldn’t make her feel better, it just salved my conscience.
A hollow joke, that. What use is a demon lord with a conscience? There was no one else in all the worlds whose feelings I’d care as much about, and so of course all I could do was hurt her.
Which would not do. I would not accept it.
“Holly?” She sniffled and didn’t reply. “Holly, I am Abaddon the Destroyer, demon lord of hell. Hear my oath: you are mine, and I will let nothing stand between us. If a god tries, I shall eat its heart. If a mortal harms you, I will mount his head on the wall as a warning to others. I will not abandon you. This I swear on my true name, on my throne, and on my word.”
She sniffled again, and stepped back to look up at me.
“How can you promise that? How does that work?” Despite her plaintive words, hope shone in her eyes.
“I do not know,” I admitted. “But it will work. I refuse to accept a universe in which we not together.”
A weak smile pulled at Holly’s lips. “Thanks for being honest, I guess.”
“I will not lie to you, little one. Ever.”
With that, I swept her into my arms and kissed her. A gentle kiss, a question, which she answered by throwing her arms around my neck and pulling herself to me.