Chapter 1 #2
As soon as she stepped onto her porch, Ava walked by. What a small bundle of happy energy this little girl was, as she bounded up the porch towards her. Adrienne couldn’t help but smile at the girl.
Adrienne walked past the two rocking chairs on the cabin’s porch and gestured to the swing. Ava hopped on it and Adrienne joined her.
“Are you on winter break from school right now?”
“Yeah.” Ava kicked off and got the swing going. “I don’t have to go back until January.”
“That’s nice. Are you enjoying it so far?”
Ava shrugged and the typical bubbliness that had surrounded her, dimmed a little. “I love Christmas, but it’s not the same since Mom died.”
Adrienne felt her heart constrict. “How so?”
Ava shrugged again. “I guess it’s just not festive. We didn’t even decorate this year. Last year was so hard on Dad when we tried that I didn’t even want to ask him this year. I’m sure it’ll be fun at Nana and Papa’s but it’s not here. Christmas here was always magical.”
She’d seen the photos online. She didn’t doubt it had been magical to a child. She pushed off to give them a good boost and then let her legs dangle just like Ava’s on the swing. “I lost my parents this year. It’s my first Christmas without them and I’m struggling too.”
Ava’s eyes widened. “Is that why you’re here?”
Adrienne nodded. “Yeah, I kinda hoped it would give me the Christmas spirit back. Christmas has always been my favorite.”
Ava pouted. “What’s your favorite thing?”
Adrienne cocked her head, thinking. “It’s hard to pin down my favorite. I liked a lot of things.” Liked. She hated how she referred to it in the past tense. “What about you?”
Ava let out a large breath. “I love the Christmas lights. When I was a kid, Mom and I would lay down underneath the tree and look up at the lights from underneath. There was nothing like it, on a really cold night. We’d get a blanket and put it over the vent that was by the tree, and snuggle our feet together under it as we laid there.
You had to be Really Careful though, or you’d Burn Your Tootsies. ”
Adrienne laughed at the image. “Yes, I imagine so. Wow. I haven’t looked up from under the tree like that since I was a kid. That sounds like fun.”
“Do you have a tree?”
“Kind of. I mean, I put one up at home, but it wasn’t the same. I don’t have one here.”
Ava stood up quickly and got a look of determination on her face. “Well, that’s it then! We need to get you a tree for your cabin!”
Adrienne couldn’t help but smile at this. “Oh we do, do we?”
“Yes! There’s a tree farm not too far from here and we can get you a tree and decorate it! We have loads of lights you can borrow. I’m sure Dad won’t mind.”
A real tree? Adrienne smiled at the thought. They had rarely done real trees at home, with her Dad having hated the dropped needles and sap. One couldn’t deny how amazing it would smell, though. Like bringing the magic of the vista in front of her to her room. Maybe she’d even be able to write.
“Sure. Let’s do it.”
Ava squealed and jumped up and down. “This is going to be so much fun! We’ll bring Christmas back to you, Ms. Croft! Let me get my jacket.”
“Wait wait wait, I can’t just take you into town without your Dad’s permission, Ava.” Not to mention, she didn’t even have a car.
Ava paused just long enough to frown. “Okay…but what if he says it’s ok? Can I come with you?”
“Of course.” Her mind was racing. Wasn’t there some new service that dropped off a car rental?
“You know, maybe he should come along too, and bring his truck,” Ava’s mind was also clearly going a million miles an hour. “Would that be ok?”
Adrienne’s eyes widened at the idea of wedging into the front seat of a truck with this sweet girl’s attractive father. “Ava, I’m sure he has other things to do besides take someone to the tree farm.”
“I don’t think so. There’s only one other couple here today and they don’t come out much ‘cause it’s their Honeymoon.” Ava cocked her head. “Are you worried because you have a husband or boyfriend or something?”
Adrienne choked. “No! I don’t…I’m not…No. It’s not that. I just thought that surely he’s busy…” At the look on Ava’s face, she gave up on her train of thought. “Look, if he’s willing to go, or let me take you, then I’m ok with that.”
“Ok I’ll go ask him!!!”
Which is how, five hours later, she and Ava were standing back and regarding her brand new decorated Christmas tree.
She’d survived the trip in the truck to find the ‘perfect tree’ (Ava’s words, not hers, although she had to admit the girl had taste in trees).
Thankfully, the girl had sat between them in the truck and Adrienne appreciated having the man to haul the tree into the truck and up to her cabin.
And it wasn’t just because she hadn’t had to do it herself, but because it was one of those memory-making sights she would have in her mind forever.
She may have had no intention of trying to date a widower father that lived in a different state, but that didn’t mean she was above ogling the way his arms flexed under his plaid flannel shirt as he hefted the tree.
And, she had to admit, it had been extremely fun.
She’d brought out her little bluetooth speaker and played Christmas music for the ambience of decorating.
She and Ava had traded back and forth numerous stories about how they’d decorated trees in the past and it had been utterly cathartic.
In perusing the decorations, they’d even found some Santa hats and Ava had plopped one on her head, both of them dissolving into giggles.
“This is a masterpiece.” Ava proclaimed, as she reached forward and adjusted a light. “It’s just perfect.”
“It is one mighty fine tree,” Adrienne agreed.
Something caught the corner of her eye and she realized Ethan was walking by outside her cabin a split second before Ava hollered, “Dad!!! Come see Ms. Croft’s tree!!!!”
She wasn’t sure who’d jumped more, her or Ethan, but he’d recovered quickly and entered her cabin. “Oh wow…that can’t possibly be the same tree, can it?”
Adrienne had to smile at the tone in his voice. Trying to be playful with his daughter, but there was something else in there too, and it became more apparent the way he focused on the tree.
“Of course it’s the same tree, Dad! Don’t be silly!” Ava giggled. “I’m starved.”
“Yeah it’s almost dinner time,” Ethan said distractedly.
“I’ll go get ready for dinner. I gotta go pee first though. Thanks for letting me help you today!” Ava trotted off, leaving the two of them awkwardly standing in Adrienne’s cabin.
“Well…thank you for this. I’m sure you had other things to do today, and other ways to use your Christmas decorations.” Adrienne slid the Santa hat off her head and tried to fluff her hair back up. There was nothing to be done about it though, and she quickly gave up.
“Not really.” Ethan reached forward and gently touched an ornament.
“It was nice seeing Ava get excited. And these really don’t belong in a box.
I’ve been feeling guilty about it. For as much as…
” he took a deep breath, “Lani, my wife, loved Christmas, I haven’t been able to bring myself to honor her legacy.
” He frowned. “That sounds terrible. I don’t mean it like I’m intentionally trying not to.
I just mean…it’s hard.” He gently touched another ornament.
“But you don’t want to hear me talk about all of this. You want to enjoy your lovely tree.”
Adrienne reached forward to touch his arm. “Please. Tell me.”
Ethan was quiet for so long, she thought he was just going to walk out, but instead he slowly moved his gaze from her hand to point to an ornament.
Adrienne removed her hand from his arm, face burning.
“She bought these after Christmas when everything was on clearance. She came back with Ava wedged into the backseat with all these boxes, both of them looking sheepish. Those two were peas in a pod with Christmas. You could have enough ornaments for 5 trees and the next year, they’d fall in love with more and then we’d have to get a 6th tree just to use the new decorations.
” He swallowed hard. “This is the first time these have ever been on a tree.”
Adrienne drew in a shaky breath, looking at the ornaments with a fresh view. She’d wondered why Ava had been so adamant they used these ornaments in particular, out of the storage room full of options. Before she could think of how to reply, he continued.
“It’s been two years now, and I would have thought it would have been easier.
You know, they said the first year would be the worst, since it was the first without her.
And it was, but I think I tried so hard to make it special for Ava, that it almost carried me through.
But this year, I don’t have the drive like that first year and yet I still feel empty and hollow inside.
It feels like the whole world is being carried on my shoulders, there’s all the pressure and I wasn’t built for that before all of this, you know?
My wife was always the one who could make everyone feel comfy and cozy during this season.
I was just the guy making the normal stuff work in the background.
Now I have to do it all and, well, as you can see, I’m failing miserably. ”