Chapter 13
ELI
“It’s your turn,” Zoe nudges my knee, and I snap out of the daze I’m in.
I roll the dice to determine my move, but I’m not really paying attention to the board game we started playing after dinner.
We’ve been at it for hours now, and my mind has wandered for every second of it.
That could also be the reason I currently have less than a hundred paper bucks left to my name.
I have to draw a card, which lands me in jail. My sisters are snickering as I move my piece on the board, my mom and Gerald comfort me, and Nathan is silent.
He’s sitting directly in front of me, and I’m doing my best not to look his way…or stare at those damn soft lips that were on mine earlier.
I warm just at the memory. What the hell had I been thinking? Kissing Nathan? It’s not just the fact that he’s my stepbrother, but it was my first kiss. The very first kiss in my twenty-one years on this Earth, and I gave it to someone I hate.
Though I can’t say it was a bad first kiss. Nathan’s a good kisser, and he does something with his tongue that makes my entire body tingle.
But that’s beside the point!
I shouldn’t have been making out with him in the bathroom in the first place. I shouldn’t have felt good while doing so either. And pressed so close against him, I knew he’d been feeling good too.
I wonder what would have happened if Mom hadn’t called us down for dinner when she had…
My gaze wanders to Nathan. He tilts his head to the side and smirks at me. His expression tells me he knows exactly what I’m thinking about, which doesn’t help the flush I’m suddenly feeling.
I tug at the collar of my T-shirt. Why is the heater turned up so high? I’m sweating, and Nathan’s gaze on me doesn’t help.
Ava cackles when Zoe lands on her property. Zoe grumbles and hands over half her paper money. I’m not surprised Ava’s business talents translate to board games as well.
Zoe shoots our older sister the nastiest look. They’re both competitive. I am too, but tonight, I’m too distracted.
“Your turn,” Zoe says and hands me the dice.
“How about I chill out in jail for another round?” I suggest. I don’t own any of the upcoming properties, and I’m sure to go bankrupt if I land on any of them.
“Now you know those aren’t the rules, honey,” Mom says sympathetically, but there’s a gleam in her eye that tells me she’s waiting for my downfall. We three siblings got our competitiveness from her.
Zoe snickers along with Ava. She’s using Ava’s legs to prop herself up now, seemingly to have completely forgotten how our sister robbed her blind just seconds ago.
I sigh and accept my fate. What are the chances of me getting doubles anyway? I’ll need really good luck—or in this case, bad luck—to get that roll. I throw the dice, all eyes are on the board, and it lands on six. Two-motherfucking-threes.
Nathan’s grin is wide as I move my piece to his property. Even without the hotel there, I wouldn’t have been able to afford the rent.
“We can work something out,” he suggests. His voice is deep and low, and is it my imagination, or is he looking at me with eyes filled with heat? Either way, I’m burning up. My throat is dry.
“I—”
My throat croaks, and I’m very aware of my family’s gaze on me. I shoot up to my feet.
“You know what? I’m getting tired anyway, so it’s a good time to go bankrupt,” I stammer. They all give me weird looks, and I try not to break under pressure.
“It’s all yours,” I tell Nathan and nod to my limited fake wealth, then I wish them all a good night and hightail it out of there.
I know they can sense something is up. I’m usually the last one to return to my room, being a night owl and all. My family knows I don’t sleep well, so saying I’m tired is probably raising all sorts of flags for them.
Thinking one of the women in my life is going to come up and check on me, I formulate an excuse to give them. I’ll tell them I’m getting sick or something.
I’m fidgety, but I force myself to lie on my bed. At least I had the foresight to bring my pillow upstairs with me, so I hug it.
Bringing the pillow to my nose, the spice invades all my senses until it’s the only thing I’m focused on. My lids close as I breathe in the soothing scent. It has a way of clearing out my overactive brain.
I’m not thinking about my first kiss and the way Nathan’s strong hands gripped my hips, or the heat in his eyes while we played board games, or worrying about what my family might think of my strange behavior.
The scent of spice washes everything else away, and before I know it, I’m drifting into that moment where you’re not really asleep, but you’re not awake either.
It’s a shock when I blink my eyes open sometime later. I’m confused, not in a groggy way, but by the silence in the cabin.
My room is at the very end of the hall, away from everything else, thanks to my insomniac tendencies. But I can usually still hear activity coming from downstairs. My phone clock tells me it’s one in the morning. The others must have gone to bed…and I’m now wide awake.
It seems like it’s going to be another long night of thinking about my poor choices, and it’s a no-brainer what I’m going to obsess over tonight.
Nathan’s lips pop into my head again, and I instantly feel warm. I hate how it feels like I can’t control my body when I’m around him, or even just thinking about him. It’s like the man has a hold on me, and I don’t know how to break free.
My phone dings. I quickly shake away the image of dazzling blue eyes and dimples and check the notification to find a text from Alex asking me how the family vacation is going. He’s still sending the “goodnight” texts, but he seems understanding about my lack of reply recently.
I’ve been so distracted by Nathan that I completely forgot about him. I don’t know why I feel guilty, especially when we’ve only been chatting for a week, but I do.
We chat for a bit, and when I tell him about my little adventure, he’s appropriately sympathetic. I ask him about his holiday plans, and he tells me he’s spending it with his family.
The conversation flows, but I don’t feel the butterflies when talking to him now as I did before. I know I’m not that fickle. I’m not someone who loses interest quickly. I tend to obsess over things, and that’s often why I lie awake at night.
Something has changed in the last two days, and it’s not hard to guess what it is.
I wipe a hand over my face, frustrated that I’m still unable to control my emotions when it comes to Nathan. I hug the pillow and let the spice fill my nostrils again. I hate how much I enjoy the smell, because I’m reminded of where I’d caught a whiff of this scent before.
I jolt and almost throw the pillow across the room when there’s a soft knock on the door. Even though it’s closed, I can’t help feeling like I’d just been caught doing something I shouldn’t.
My heart’s pounding in my chest as I glare at the door and whoever’s behind it for scaring me. Everyone’s usually asleep by now, so who the heck could be knocking?
I’m wondering if I misheard it, but then another knock comes. It’s softer, and I wouldn’t have caught it if I hadn’t specifically been listening for it.
I force myself off the bed and slowly make my way to the door. My steps are so light and soundless that the creak of the door sounds deafening in my ears. Nathan has his back toward me like he’s about to leave, but he turns around at the sound.
“Nathan? What are you doing here?” I hiss quickly. I look past him down the hall to verify nobody is around before quickly tugging him inside and shutting the door behind him.
The last thing I need is my family catching me with him, considering I make it my goal to stay as far away from him as possible on every family vacation.
“Did anyone see you?” I spin around to face him and ask, not even giving him a chance to answer my first question.
He smirks and crosses his arms. “Is there a reason I can’t be seen?” he asks back.
“They’re going to get even more suspicious than they already are!
Ava says her gut’s telling her something happened, and you know how she gets.
The questions aren’t going to stop until she proves she’s right.
And I saw the looks they all gave me when I left early.
They probably already know something’s up,” I ramble.
I’m breathing hard by the time I finish my little speech, and Nathan still looks perfectly put together, without a single black strand out of place and with that infuriating smirk on his face.
“I told them you didn’t sleep last night, so you’re probably exhausted,” he says.
“Thanks,” I mutter. I’m caught off guard by his covering for me. I know he’s not the evil villain I painted in my head.
It’s why I kissed him, I think. That hint of vulnerability he showed seemed more genuine than all the fake smiles I’ve seen since I’ve known him. But it’s hard to change the image I already have of him. It’s hard not to see him as the enemy.
“Why’d you leave anyway?” he asks and takes a step closer to me.
Instinct comes over me, making me retreat a step until my back is hitting the door, and I have nowhere to go. Nathan crowds over me, our bare toes touch, and he’s resting his forearm on the door over my head. He’s trapped me and left me no room to escape.
“I-I was t-tired,” I say, stammering through my reply.
The answer makes his smirk more devious, and he makes an obvious show of tracing his eyes from mine down to my lips. It’s instinct again that I lick them.
“Does it have anything to do with what happened in the bathroom? You’ve been avoiding me since.”
“My default setting is to avoid you,” I quip back.
He chuckles and brings a thumb down to swipe over my bottom lip. I try to hold back the shiver his touch elicits from me, but the way his eyes curve from satisfaction tells me I’m not successful.
“Was the kiss bad?” His voice dips into a warm chocolate tone when he asks the question.
“No!”
The answer comes out unintentionally. It’s hard to think when he’s this close. The scent of spices coming from him is making my head spin.
“I mean, it was all right,” I add, trying to play casual. I will simply drop dead right here and now if he finds out that he’d taken my first kiss.
“Just all right? You saying you’ve had better kisses before?” He smirks.
I can’t do much besides shrug, because I really have no other frame of reference.
I’m not sure why I see a hint of competitiveness in his eyes. It’s the familiar gaze he and his teammates had right before their high school football games. It’s a mix of confidence and cockiness, like he knows he’s going to win the game—and they usually did.
The issue is, I’m not a sports competition he can win, so why is he looking at me like this now? I don’t have to wait long for an answer.
He leans down, and I’m frozen as I stare at those sparkling blues coming closer to me.
“Close your eyes,” he orders. His voice is deep and breathy, and I’m following his directions with no protest.
Or maybe I’m afraid he’ll stop if I don’t do as he says.
The thought comes out of nowhere and shocks me even more than when Nathan’s lips descend on mine, because did I want to kiss him?
I hate the guy. I shouldn’t want his kisses…but then he sucks on my bottom lip, and I’m making needy noises at how good it feels.
“Has anyone ever told you how sweet you taste?” Nathan’s hot breath caresses the corner of my lip as he kisses up my cheek. He sucks on the tip of my ear.
I never thought having your ear slobbered on would feel good, so I’m struck silly by how much the swipe of his tongue against the shell of my ear affects me.
My knees go weak, and the only reason I’m still standing upright is because Nathan’s hands are on my hips, holding me in place, with the rest of him pressed up against me. I’m just glad the door is sturdy enough to hold our weight.
“When you say you eat, don’t tell me you’re talking about candy? Is that why you taste so sweet?” Nathan asks.
I’m having a hard time thinking straight, but I somehow manage to answer him. “I eat real food too,” I mutter.
He hums, stealing my lips again. I gasp, not expecting his soft lips. He uses the chance to slip his tongue inside.
His tongue tangles with mine, and he does something with it that has the last of the strength leaving my legs. He’s carrying the entirety of my weight now. Not that he seems to mind.
A second later, his hands cup my ass, and he’s lifting me like I weigh nothing. He presses me against the door and I shift my legs so they wrap around him. I’m annoyed at how easily he’s able to maneuver me, but I’m too lost in his kiss to make a snarky comment.
In this position, I know he can feel my erection against my stomach, but I can’t even muster up any fucks to give. He’s kissing me like he’s sucking out my soul. That has to be the reason I’m unable to control myself.
It’s the reason I don’t push him away.
Or at least that’s what I’m going to tell myself.