Chapter 16 #2
Jenna had always assumed her parents’ marriage had been mutually consuming.
It had certainly felt that way as a child.
But what if she’d been wrong? What if it had been more one-sided than she’d ever seen or felt?
And why had Henrietta talked about regrets as if she knew Jenna’s own history?
If the gossip had reached Henrietta Starr’s ears…
well, it was all part of living in a small town, Jenna supposed.
And as far as regrets went, she definitely didn’t want them to affect her future, and certainly not for seventy years… !
Quickly, before she could overthink it or chicken out, she texted Jack.
Hope you’re having a good week.
She hesitated, wanting to say something more, but still instinctively reluctant to put herself out there too much. Then she thought of Henrietta again and decided to be at least a little bit reckless.
I’ve been thinking of you and wishing we could have continued our conversation from the other night. There was more I wanted to say.
She pressed send before she could have second thoughts, and then let out a shaky sigh, tossing her phone aside and then rubbing her face with her hands.
She didn’t regret saying what she had—not much, anyway—and really she hadn’t admitted that much, even if it was more than she had before, but she knew she’d be checking her phone compulsively until Jack replied, trying not to obsess and doing it anyway.
* * *
By the next afternoon, as Jenna headed over to Maggie’s for Thanksgiving dinner, she was feeling more than a little anxious about the whole affair—or un-affair , as it so happened.
Jack hadn’t replied, although she’d seen, with a plunging sensation in her stomach, that her text had been delivered and read…
just three minutes after she’d sent it. And still, twenty-four whole hours later, nothing but silence.
Jenna had given herself several stern talking-tos, insisting it wasn’t a big deal and that he was busy, or maybe thinking about his reply, or maybe he’d let his phone run down and had forgotten to bring a charger.
These were, she told herself, all reasonable scenarios… as was the possibility that he’d blanked her because he didn’t know what to say and being with his city friends had reminded him of everything he’d missed about his former life, and so he was trying to figure out a way to let her down gently.
That, really, seemed like the most probable scenario of all.
She tried not to tie herself up in knots over it, especially with Henrietta’s words about her parents still fresh in her mind.
She really, really didn’t want to love a man more than he loved her.
She didn’t even want to like a man more than he liked her.
Not anymore. And if that’s where things were at with Jack…
well, she’d focus on all the things she liked about her life instead, especially her friends, and do her best to forget all about Jack Wexler if she could.
“Jenna!” Laurie enveloped her in a warm hug as Maggie waved from the kitchen and Zach and Ben both gave her a grin from the desk, where they were hunched over the computer, playing the fantasy role-playing game they both loved, RainQuest. Jenna had been shocked to learn her brother had loved the game, and had played it somewhat compulsively when he’d come home to help their mother through a cancer scare many years ago—she’d been in San Francisco, and her parents hadn’t even told her her mom was sick, something that still stung if she let it. She wasn’t going to right now.
“I hope you’re both slaying orcs or whatever it is you do,” she told them as she brought the pumpkin and apple pies she’d made over to Maggie before shedding her coat.
“It’s wyverns, thank you,” Zach replied with a grin. “Get your fantasy creatures right, please.” He peered behind her as if expecting someone else to appear. “Where’s Jack?”
“Not here,” Jenna replied as blandly as she could, wondering why her brother had assumed Jack would be accompanying her.
It wasn’t like they were dating or anything.
“He was in the city for the weekend,” she told him, “and he’s spending Thanksgiving with his mom. And in any case, he wasn’t invited.”
“Oh, but he would have been,” Laurie protested. “All you had to do was say the word! And I can’t help but notice,” she added teasingly, “that you seem to know his movements.” She frowned thoughtfully, tapping her chin. “Hmm… I wonder why.”
Jenna shook her head good-naturedly. “I know all of Starr’s Fall is dying for us to get together, but if it happens, can we please just let it happen naturally?”
“Ooh, that sounds promising!” Maggie exclaimed before laughing when Jenna stuck her tongue out at her.
Once this kind of gentle ribbing would have annoyed or even alarmed her, made her feel like she’d admitted too much, but now she found she was almost enjoying it. If only Jack would reply to her text…
But she wasn’t going to overthink it. Definitely not.
Even so, Jenna slipped her phone out of her pocket for a discreet peek, and had to suppress a sigh when she saw there had been no new messages.
Never mind. She’d sent that text for her sake as much as Jack’s, to prove to herself that she’d both moved on and could be brave.
Whether Jack replied or not was immaterial.
Sort of.
Maggie was taking the turkey out of the oven, and others were decanting vegetables and sauces into serving dishes, and so Jenna slid her phone back into her pocket to help bring the meal to the table.
“This all looks amazing,” Zach told Maggie as he slipped an arm around her waist and kissed her cheek. “ You’re amazing.”
“Well, thank you,” Maggie replied, flushing with pleasure while her fifteen-year-old son Ben rolled his eyes and pretended to make gagging noises, although Jenna knew as well as anyone that Ben was secretly—or not-so-secretly—thrilled that Zach was in their lives.
“So I’m meeting my mom on Saturday,” Laurie told Jenna in a low voice as she mashed the potatoes and Jenna added butter to the boiled carrots.
“You are?” she said in surprise. “You got in touch, I’m guessing?”
Laurie nodded. “I told her I was willing to try again. I mean… I’ll be honest, I think I’d give her as many chances as she needs, because…
isn’t that what you do? There’s no ‘three strikes and you’re out,’ right?
Although if she doesn’t show up, it will be three strikes.
” Laurie sighed. “But I keep telling myself that I don’t know what she’s been going through.
Maybe she’ll tell me, though, and then I’ll understand more. ”
“I hope so,” Jenna replied, “for your sake.” And she hoped this time Laurie’s mom turned up.
“Yeah.” Laurie gave a little grimace as she started spooning the potatoes into a serving bowl. “If she lets me down again… well, it will be hard, I know that much. But I still want to try, because she seems to want to try, you know? And that’s enough for me.”
Jenna lightly touched her arm. “I get it,” she said sincerely. Maybe wanting to try really was enough. Maybe that’s where Jack was… although she needed to not be thinking of Jack right now. “And I’m glad for you,” she told Laurie. “Let me know how it goes, okay?”
Laurie smiled and nodded. “I will.”
Annie and Mike arrived then, Annie looking a little pale and tired and Mike protective and bear-like, his arm around her as they came up the stairs.
Barb had taken a turn for the worse recently, and Jenna knew her friend was on high alert, checking her phone even more than she was.
Everyone embraced them warmly, especially Annie, and for a second it felt like a lovefest before Mike announced he was hungry, and Maggie said she just had to make the gravy, and the crowd scattered with a few people discreetly wiping their eyes.
Everyone started pitching in to bring the meal to the table—carrying dishes, pouring wine, putting on music. Jenna quickly checked her phone again—nothing.
“So how’s your Jack?” Mike asked her as they all went to sit down, the table heaving under the platters of delicious food—green bean casserole with crispy onions, sweet potatoes with a golden-brown marshmallow topping, glistening, jewel-like cranberry sauce, and of course the turkey—beautifully browned and smelling delicious.
Jenna smiled and shook her head. “He’s not my Jack, Mike, as I think you very well know,” she told him teasingly, “and he’s fine as far as I know.” Not that she’d heard from him since he’d left for New York, but still. He was probably fine.
“Man should get a move on,” Mike stated authoritatively. “Life is short and none of us is getting any younger.”
It was more or less the same sentiment as Henrietta Starr’s.
“True enough,” Jenna agreed wryly, hoping to leave the conversation there.
She sat down and reached for her wine as Mike turned to say something to Annie.
Everyone, she mused, seemed to take it for granted that she and Jack would get together.
It felt like a foregone conclusion, and only a matter of time.
As cautious as she tended to be, it was hard not to start believing their hype; even now part of her was half-expecting Jack to bound up the stairs, throw open the door, and take her into his arms in the grandest of gestures.
This, despite the radio silence on the text front. She surely wasn’t delusional.
She sighed and took a sip of her wine as she told herself to stop mooning.
Henrietta had been right; life was too short, as well as too precious, to waste on regret of any description.
If Jack wasn’t interested, well, then, she’d get over it.
She still had a good life—plenty of friends whom she adored and who adored her back, a business that was ready to re-open and have a roaring trade, her health…