Chapter 9
After cashing the check—holy-cannoli-so-many-zeroes—I was on cloud nine. I hadn’t had that much money in my bank account since before I’d bought the orchard. It was nice not to feel like I was drowning anymore. And even nicer to realize I had a way up now, if I wanted one.
And a friend.
I’d never had a friend before. Not like Jason. Goofy and loud. Kind and nosy. Expressive. Abrasive. But he could be soft, too. Commanding. Reliable. Gentle in both tone and movement. Those frantic flutters of his fingers, his swagger, turned quiet and sure.
He was the kind of confident I’d always wanted to be. He knew exactly who he was, and what he was. Masculine. Warm.
He pushed when he needed to push.
And he pulled when he needed to pull.
He’d said he was still learning how to communicate with me, but privately, I felt like he’d already figured me out. He always knew exactly what to say. And though he sometimes messed up and confused me, he never left me hanging for long.
I was tethered when I was with him.
And without him…not so much.
As I walked from the bank and down the sidewalk, there was no denying how relieved I felt. My lack of funds had been weighing on me. Stalling me. Making something tender and tight seize around my heart.
Without money, I had no hope of fixing up my house.
The weight of my family’s visit had hung like a noose around my neck.
And now…
That burden had lightened somewhat.
I’d always been an action-oriented person. Good with my hands. Easy to direct. Maybe not the kind of man who was great at giving orders—though I wished I was—but always eager to receive them. To accomplish what I set out to do.
Sitting, twiddling my thumbs, unsure how to move forward, had been torture.
I’m sure, if Jason hadn’t come along, I would’ve figured things out. Would’ve gotten a loan, maybe. Another loan. Or…I don’t know. Found another job. Sacrificed what little rest I got so that I could accomplish what I needed.
But I hadn’t had to do that.
Because my Christmas Elf had come around to save the day.
And now…I was no longer in limbo. No longer distracting myself with tasks on the farm that Patrick had told me to get my “grubby mitts” off of. No longer following Jordan around to make sure he was doing what he was supposed to—even though he’d never slacked off, not a day in his life.
No longer aimless.
I was an arrow, locked and loaded, and I was ready to shoot.
I made a beeline toward the hardware store with my list in tow.
I had no idea if any of the supplies I needed would have to be special-ordered, so I figured it was better to get that done as soon as possible.
I needed to measure the flooring that needed to be replaced, which I did, so I could get a quote.
And the appliances I’d need were due to be delivered at the end of the week, right after Thanksgiving.
When everything had been ordered, I debated treating myself to a pastry at Baxter’s bakery.
Immediately, I felt guilty—but then Jason’s face popped into my head, and his words replayed.
“You’re supposed to keep the money. It’s your money.
What you do with it after you cash it is entirely up to you.
” I did have the money. He’d told me to use the money.
And…privately, I guessed that Jason would be appalled if he found out I was going hungry out of a mix of guilt from not working on the house, and fear of using the money he’d secured for me.
He thought I couldn’t relax.
I could relax.
I totally could.
With Jason in my head, breathing became easier.
I decided to get the pastry.
Baxter beamed at me when I opened the bakery’s front door. It dinged overhead, the bright yellow walls as cheery and welcoming as usual. Just like him.
“Staying this time?” Baxter inquired in a friendly way that made it clear he wasn’t judging for the way I’d bolted out the last time I’d been by. There was a knowing glint in his eyes, like he understood.
I let my guard drop a little.
“Yes,” I nodded.
I placed my order with secret glee.
Since I’d moved, Baxter had delivered me sweets every so often. He was friendly. Chatting my ear off. Trying to make me feel welcome. But this was the first time I’d had money and time to stop in and buy something from him.
The card went through again, sending a fizzle of joy through me. It wasn’t that I didn’t trust the money. Hell, I’d used it at the hardware store just fine. It was just…nice not to worry about the financial side of life for once.
When that was done, I took a seat at the farthest booth from the door. Sitting in the back meant I could glance around. Eyeing the Bellevillians curiously. A small part of me was weighing them up and down and trying to figure out who my secret Santa sugar daddy was.
Just thinking that made me embarrassed.
Was he here?
Maybe.
He could be eating a pastry beside me at this very moment, and I’d never know. I wanted to thank him. Accepting help had been difficult. The hardest thing I’d ever done. And now that I’d done it? I wanted to…to show my gratitude.
I felt like Jason deserved the credit.
He may not have provided the money himself, but he was the reason I’d gotten it.
Which meant he was first on my list to thank.
As I settled into my seat and waited for my treat and coffee to be delivered to my table, I thought about Jason. Perplexing as he was. I got the feeling that he was hiding something. What, I didn’t know. I’d never been that great at understanding people, but I’d always been able to trust my gut.
My gut said he was a good guy.
It was easier to hear that, now that the buzz of frustration was absent in my head.
He was a good guy, but he was…multi-layered.
And I had a feeling I had yet to see every aspect of who he was.
I mean, we’d had dinner together twice now, and Jason had never brought up anything about himself.
He’d tricked a bunch of information out of me over the last few months, so maybe that was why I felt like things were skewed.
I didn’t know how old he was.
Didn’t know where he came from.
Was it Belleville?
Didn’t know his favorite color.
Didn’t know what he did in his free time, aside from hunting me down or taking his niece out.
Didn’t know his favorite animal, or if he had any pets, or why he worked at the grocery store.
Hell, I didn’t even know his last name.
Weren’t friends supposed to know those things about each other? I felt like they were. But again, I hadn’t had one before, so I wasn’t really sure.
Breaking me out of my thoughts, Baxter swung by to drop off my plate a few minutes later. He asked me about my mom, how she was doing.
To which I said, “Fine.”
“She’s a good egg,” Baxter replied.
I figured he, of all people, could tell the good eggs from bad.
His parents were what the rest of our clan had dubbed the “assholes” of the family. Horrible people. None of us associated with them. Baxter was nice though. He shared the Milton—or I guess…Baker?—blond hair. Though his eyes were green, where the rest of ours were blue.
“She is,” I agreed.
Though I was anxious about her visit, now that I had the money to get the house in order, a big weight had been lifted off my shoulders.
I even had room to be excited now. Go figure!
It’d been over six months since the last time I’d felt my mom’s arms around me, and I couldn’t wait to hug the motherheckin bejesus outta her.
Besides…I’d never once spent Christmas without her.
If I was being totally honest, before she’d called to inform me of their plans, I’d avoided thinking about the holidays at all.
Not because I didn’t love them—I most definitely did, would’ve been impossible not to growing up in a house as jolly as ours—but the idea of being without my family for the first time ever had made me incredibly sad.
Now I didn’t have to worry about that.
I just had to worry about renovations.
Which would be totally easy, right?
And Jason…Jason was to blame for that.
Which was why he deserved a proper thank you.
“What do you think of Jason?” I blurted out as Baxter twisted to go.
He paused, turning back around, a perplexed but amused look on his face.
It was a testament to Jason’s presence in town that Baxter seemed to know exactly who I was talking about.
Or maybe there was only one Jason? Though, I was pretty sure the first assumption was more accurate.
“Jason is a very nice man,” Baxter said immediately. “Chatty.”
That was pretty much what I’d gathered from everyone else too. “You mean nosy?” I asked, hovering my fork over the plate of cheesecake in front of me with a grumble in my belly.
“That too.” Baxter snorted, eyes crinkling at the corners. The wedding band on his hand flashed as he crossed his arms thoughtfully, head tipped to the side. “He’s more than he seems,” he said after a moment. “I can tell. I’m good with people.”
More than he seems.
Hmm.
That was exactly what I’d just been thinking, too.
It was validating to know I wasn’t the only person who’d sensed that he was hiding.
Baxter left, and I mulled over that particular tidbit of information like a horse chewing a bit.
I’d misjudged him before. Thought he assumed I was an idiot.
Thought he was a gossip-mongering asshole.
A bit of a bully. But…while the “gossip-mongering” part was true, and the “idiot” bit was up in the air, I could now safely say that the asshole part wasn’t.
Assholes didn’t do what Jason did for this town.
Assholes didn’t deliver checks to your house—or pizza—or buy you dinner and a movie when you really needed it.
Assholes didn’t kiss their nieces on the cheek and listen very intently to every single sordid tale of elementary school drama.
Assholes didn’t smile the way Jason did.
Weren’t gentle the way Jason was.
Assholes didn’t have eyes that stormed and stormed and stormed. All to hide the aching loneliness hidden within them.
I finished my coffee and cheesecake in record time.