Chapter 26
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
MARCUS
“So what’re we watching tonight?” Jeremy asks as we wait on the crosswalk to change. It’s New Year’s Eve, and we opted to watch a movie this afternoon instead of going out.
Lame for most people, but perfect for us.
“You choose,” I say absently. I stare at Jeremy’s hand, so tempted to take it. My father confirmed that Ryan is still out of the picture, but now that Sabrina and I are public, I definitely can’t fuck up and show affection to Jeremy in public.
“You okay?” he asks, nudging my shoulder as we walk with the crowd across the street. I stop him before we turn left toward his place, and he gives me a questioning look.
The sky is clear, but it’s well below freezing, and Jeremy is adorable as hell in a black peacoat with most of his hair tucked under a teal beanie. His cheeks and nose are red with cold, and his eyes are bright in the afternoon sunshine.
“Fuck, you’re beautiful,” I say before I can stop myself, which causes his cheeks to pinken further. “Come to my place tonight,” I blurt.
“You want me to come over?”
“Yeah.”
“We’ve never gone to your place.”
I shrug. “I know. Probably should remedy that, right?”
He looks so fucking happy as he grins, and his smile sends weird tingles through my whole body. “Okay.”
I start walking the other direction, leading the way to my condo. “Will T be okay?”
He nods. “He has dry food, so he should be good for tonight, though I suspect he’ll be grumpy when I come home tomorrow.”
When we reach my building, I buzz my keycard and the door unlocks.
Jeremy smiles shyly at the doorman and I nod.
“So fancy,” he whispers while we wait for the elevator and step inside. As soon as the brass doors close behind us, I back Jeremy into a corner, caging in his smaller frame, and kiss him deeply.
He whines into my mouth and rises onto his toes, kissing me back just as fervently. When the door opens, we break apart, and I grab his hand and pull him to my door.
Nerves swirl in my stomach. I feel like I’m about to give him a piece of my control by bringing him to my private space.
I open the door and lead him inside, dropping my keys and phone on the kitchen island.
I don’t need to turn on the lights because the sunset’s golden glow is filtering through the big window, lighting up the kitchen and living room.
He walks forward slowly and stares out at the sky, and I follow, wrapping my arms around his waist.
“It’s a pretty view,” he murmurs. Then he turns in my embrace and studies the rest of the layout, giving me a mischievous smile. “But you could use a designer. This place is decorated like a model home. Or a serial killer’s lair.”
My eyes widen. “Wow, you’re hilarious.”
“I know a good decorator if you need some tips,” he says with a smirk.
“Such a brat,” I mutter, kissing his forehead. “You’ll pay for that later.”
“Promise?” he asks, and I roll my eyes, but my cock takes notice, as always. “Show me more.”
“So you can judge me?”
He grins, and I lead him down the hallway past Sebastian’s room, which has only been used a few times, to my bedroom at the end.
“This must be where you spend all your time,” he says, his eyes wandering over my pictures and personal effects. He’s right; the rest of the place is pretty sterile.
“Not lately, but when I’m here, yes, I tend to be in my bedroom.”
“What’s in there?” He points to the closed door. “Bathroom?”
I shake my head. “No, the bathroom is the other door,” I say, nodding to the right. “This one is . . . “ I trail off. Sebastian doesn’t even know about my pottery studio. I swallow and open the door. It leads into my walk-in closet and then through another doorway to the small workspace.
Jeremy’s eyes widen as he takes it in. “You . . . you do pottery?”
I nod, waiting for him to laugh or tease me, but he doesn’t. He walks over to my shelf, perusing the pieces I finished over Christmas when I was back in Brighton with my siblings.
“Marcus, these are beautiful.” He picks up one of the bowls and holds it up to the light, watching the way the glaze shimmers. “You actually made these?”
I nod again, not trusting myself to speak as Jeremy puts it down and continues to look around in wonder.
“No wonder you had such a hard-on for that pottery exhibit.”
“You have such a way with words.”
He spots my pottery wheel, and I walk up behind him as he sits at it, running his finger over the rough surface. He turns to look back at me playfully, and I put a finger to his lips.
“If you’re about to ask if we can reenact the scene from Ghost, the answer is absolutely not.”
He pouts. “Aww, why not?”
I shake my head. “Well, one, that scene is messy as fuck, but also? Probably not safe. People get hair and clothing caught in wheels all the time. I don’t think you want your dick anywhere near one.”
Jeremy laughs, his whole body shaking against mine. “Will you at least show me how it works?”
“Sure, baby boy, but not today. Let’s watch a movie.”
He hops up and heads back into my bedroom, sitting down on the bed and taking the remote to turn on Netflix like he’s been here a thousand times.
“What’re we watching?” I ask as I sit down beside him
He gives me a very serious look. “You can’t laugh because it’s one of my favorite movies.” I snicker, and his face falls. “You’re already laughing!”
“I’m sorry,” I say between chuckles, “but when you tell me not to laugh, it makes me want to laugh.” I school my features and take one of his hands. “Tell me.”
“When Harry Met Sally.”
I smile at his blush. “I’m not sure why you think I’d tease you about this. You’re a hopeless romantic, and we both know it.”
He smacks me in the abs, and I grab his wrist and pull him into my chest, kissing him gently. He groans against my mouth and starts to crawl into my lap, but I stop him with a firm grip on his hips.
“Nope. Start doing that and we won’t be watching anything.”
“Fine.” He pouts as he pulls back and snuggles into my side, hitting Play on the remote.
“Why this movie?”
He shrugs. “It feels real. Like, they don’t immediately fall in love, you know? It’s this journey from acquaintances to best friends to lovers. Plus, the end makes me cry. I just love the scene on New Year’s.”
I’ve seen it before because it’s also one of Charlie’s favorites, but I let him tell me about it like it’s new because I love the way his face lights up. Jeremy obviously spent a lot of time as a kid dissociating with movies and TV shows, so it always feels special to share them with him.
About halfway through, we pause the flick so Jeremy can pee, and when he returns, I have a tray of snacks waiting for him on the bed. He bites the end of a Twizzler, watching me while I wedge a bowl of popcorn between us.
“You must’ve watched a lot of movies as a kid. Charlie liked to watch movies too.” He looks away like he’s hiding something, and I press a finger under his chin to force his eyes back to mine. “What is it?”
“It’s nothing.”
“It’s not. Tell me.”
“It’s just . . . yeah, I watched movies. There was a time when that’s all I did.”
“What do you mean?”
He takes a breath, looking uncertain but determined, and leans into my touch. “Remember when I said I was in foster care? While my aunt was getting custody of me, I spent about a year with a family who weren’t exactly the best people.”
My jaw tightens. “What did they do?”
Jeremy gives me a sad look. “They just didn’t really want me, other than to show that they were ‘good people.’ They left me to my own devices in their basement most of the time. But I watched a lot of old movies on their VHS and DVD players.”
My heart aches for him. “What about school?”
He shrugs. “They never enrolled me. I assume they told social services I was homeschooled or something.”
“I’m sorry, Jer,” I say, pulling him against me and wrapping my arms around him. “No one should have to be alone like that.” It makes me think of Charlie, alone for the year after my father left.
He melts into me, and I can feel him shaking.
“You okay?” I ask.
He nods. “I’ve just never told anyone but Marion about it.”
My heart beats harder, and I kiss the top of his head. “Thank you for telling me.”
“Marcus?” he asks in a small voice. “Tell me something true.”
I lick my lips because the moment suddenly feels heavy, and before I can take it back, I blurt, “I’m bi.” I hold my breath, waiting for the world to end, which, of course, it doesn’t.
Jeremy jerks out of my lap, staring at me with wide eyes.
His expression twists me up, and I start to babble. “I mean, I know you always joke that I’m gay, and I always deny it like a prick. But I just didn’t know then. And now I do. And I’m bisexual.”
He smiles and cups my face in his hands, his thumbs grazing my stubble. “I’m so proud of you,” he whispers. “Have you told your family?”
“No, but I want to. I just don’t know how. Maybe . . . maybe you can help me with that.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, Charlie is having a going-away party in February. She and the guys are going to Italy for a few weeks. I want you to come. I want to introduce you as my boyfriend. I want everyone to know. Everyone who matters, anyway.”
He laughs, his sweet breath coasting over my lips. “We’ll see,” he says with a wink.
He doesn’t believe I’ll do it, and I don’t blame him. I don’t really believe me, either. But I want it to be true.
With a sigh, I resume the movie. I don’t say anything when I hear Jeremy sniffling during the final scene, and I blink away the tears welling in my own eyes and hold him closer.
When did I get so sentimental?
“‘ . . . when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.’”
As soon as possible.
Something tugs in my chest, and I realize that April can’t get here soon enough.