Chapter 5Hazel
Chapter 5
Hazel
The hot tub is crowded.
I slip off my sandals near a plastic chair and hesitate, unsure how to get in. I just linger at the edge for a few minutes, waiting for people to make room.
They don’t.
Thankfully, an elderly woman eventually climbs out. “Have at it, honey. Be careful, it’s piping hot today.”
“Thanks.”
If by ‘be careful’ she means enter on an empty stomach after consuming a cocktail for lunch, I’m on point.
I should have grabbed a glass of water from the bar on my way over, but I was too nervous. And now I’m here, and if I don’t take her vacated spot, someone else will.
I sink into the jet-infused, steamy water. Nearby foliage perfumes the salty ocean air with notes of hibiscus and plumeria.
I must be out of my mind to be doing this.
Meeting a guy from Craigslist… in a hot tub?
What am I, an idiot?
Just because he said he was nice doesn’t mean he’s actually nice. I mean, that’s day-one stuff.
Then again, I am literally surrounded by people. My shoulders are three inches from the powerhouse of a woman on my right. She looks like she could kick butt if she had to. Plus, a couple of guys look like they play college rugby across from me. I’m in good company.
The jet behind me pushes me out into the middle of the bubbly water.
I inch back until my back touches the edge again. When I shift to one side to get away from the forceful jet, that’s when I notice him .
Mr. Hunk, from the lobby.
He’s walking toward the hot tub. He’s in the same leather sandals I noticed earlier. His swim trunks almost reach his knees. They’re orange and turquoise, with white drawstrings at his waist.
My eyes inch up to the cuts of twin hip flexors on either side of his chiseled abdomen.
Don’t stare, Hazel.
Oh my goodness… I can’t help it.
His washboard abs give way to perfect pecs and shoulders that ripple as he tosses his towel across the same plastic chair that I used as a landmark for my sandals. He removes his sunglasses and piles them on top of his towel.
When he steps down into the bubbling water, guests graciously make way. Why didn’t I just do that? He didn’t even hesitate for a moment, and it was no problem.
He scans faces with a puzzled expression, starting over on his side of the tub. A curtain of pale, translucent steam separates us.
My nerves kick up when his focus reaches the powerhouse woman beside me.
What if he’s the one who responded to my ad?
Stunt Devil 92. That was the Gmail address. This guy could definitely fit that. He looks capable of performing stunts.
He’s looking around as if he’s supposed to meet someone here, and I posted the dang ad. I need to speak up.
But I can’t.
My throat has gone tight. Butterflies fill my tummy. My cheeks are burning… but that might be because this water is seriously hot.
“Okay, this is going to sound weird,” the handsome guy announces to the entire tub—all dozen of us soakers—in a loud voice that’s audible over the jets. “But did someone here post that ad about the photos?”
A few folks snicker.
I’d laugh if this was all happening to someone else.
I’d avert my gaze and swallow a giggle if his words were totally removed from me and my life.
But this is my life right now .
I nip in my lip and grimace as I raise my hand tentatively. “Um… I did…?”
His green eyes land on mine. And, just like in the lobby, our gazes lock.
The next thing I know, he’s trading places with the big-boned woman beside me. Now, his muscular, bronzed, perfect shoulder is three inches from mine, and his face is so close that I don’t dare turn my head because his good looks might blind me.
He laughs a deep chuckle. “No way.”
At first, I wonder if I heard him wrong. The moving water is a steady rumble in my ears, and people around us have returned to their earlier conversations.
“Hm?” I tuck my hand behind my ear to show I didn’t quite catch his words.
He leans in so he’s closer to me.
Good gracious, he smells nice. Like tropical suntan oil mingling with something muskier, undeniably manly.
“I just can’t believe you put up that ad,” he says. “Go figure.”
“What do you mean, go figure?”
“I mean, I saw you in the lobby.”
“I know. I… of course. I saw you—er—too.”
I gaped at you, quite likely with my mouth ajar.
I just didn’t know I’d have to take responsibility for ogling you.
“You’re probably here with your wife or a girlfriend or something,” I add in a rush. “Is she—I mean, is this fine with her? It’s not like the photos are a big deal. Just quick snapshots because my mother has a bad back.”
Because my mother has a bad back?
What does my mother’s back have to do with my idiotic, pathetically desperate current situation?
Really, nothing.
Back in my lounge chair, pre-nap, this all seemed so wonderfully brilliant. That must have been the booze talking, because… ack.
When it comes down to it, I am paying for happy-couple photos.
That is the state of my life right now.
I can’t blame this on my mother.
Not entirely.
I’m too nervous to wait for his response. The words just spill out of me as I sweep my layered bangs out of my eyes. “I mean, I just want to cheer her up. It’s dreary back at home. She can’t even get outside because of all the ice. And she really wants grandkids in Windsor one day, and both my sisters moved away.”
Okay, Hazel, stop.
Just stop.
Mr. Hunk’s eyes twinkle with amusement. “Your mother… wants grandkids.”
I nod. “Sorry. I had one of those pineapple drinks, the ones with the actual rum, and then I napped, and I’m sort of a mess right now. It’s not my usual. Can we start over?”
Now the twinkling gives way to a full-blown smile.
It’s dazzling . And, just like he mentioned in his message, slightly crooked. Twin dimples pop out on the planes of his cheeks.
His green eyes dance. “Yeah. I think that’d be a good idea. Okay. I’ll go first since I’m pretty much here applying for a job. I’m offering to help you out with the boyfriend photos.”
“Great. Thank you. Application accepted. I took down the post already because—yikes. I think I was tipsy when I posted it, or maybe I had Vacation Brain.”
“That sounds scientific.”
“My friend Alexis likens it to jelly.”
“Hm. Okay, you had Jelly Brain. I’m tracking… I get that sometimes.”
He grins at me.
Charming.
His grin is charming .
So are his words. Each one is casually tossed out without a hint of self-consciousness. He’s acting like we’ve known each other for a long time, which is helpful. I hate meeting people, and his attitude of familiarity is like some sort of magical first-conversation hack.
I find myself returning his smile.
“Anyway, I truly appreciate this,” I say, surprised at the bubbly giggle that erupts from deep within my belly. “I know how weird it is, I really do. But I won’t go into the backstory again because—well, that didn’t go well.”
“Your mom’s bad back. The grandkids.”
I nod. “Exactly. It’s complicated.”
“Things get that way.”
“Unfortunately, they do. Let me just say that this is a big help to me for many reasons. And I’m sorry if I’m pulling you away from family stuff. Five minutes a day is all I ask.”
“I’m not here with a family, exactly. This is no big deal.”
“So, you’re—er—” I stop myself just in time.
I can’t do it.
I can’t ask if he’s here alone. That’s as bad as one of those sleazy pickup lines people use at bars: ‘Do you come here often?’
I’m not going to sink to Butcher Steve sleaze-status.
I refuse.
“Yeah,” he says casually, like I didn't just choke up mid-sentence. “Here solo, pretty much, so no biggie. No girlfriend to get all hot and bothered if we talk too long or whatever. Actually, this was a good meeting spot. I haven’t checked out the hot tub yet.”
“It’s handsome.”
Oh, no.
That was a slip-up. Maybe he didn’t hear me call the hot tub handsome.
His sandy brows raise. The corner of his mouth twitches up, and his green eyes twinkle.
Shoot.
He did hear me.
“I mean—it’s hot ,” I stammer.
Oh, lordy. I need help.
I think my current state has to do with the fact that I can see six different muscles ripple on his shoulders when he moves his arm. Or the thousand-watt nature of his adorably lopsided smile. Or… his eyes.
They’re deep and green and so warm when they rest on mine.
“Yeah, it is pretty hot. Beautiful setting, too.” He’s leaning in slightly so I can hear him over the jets. “I’ve never been anywhere this stunning. I’m enjoying the view.”
Is this really happening to me?
He gives me this deep, meaning-laced look as he says he likes the view. His point is crystal clear. He likes the view of me .
The butterflies in my belly give way to something much more intense.
The desire grows when I realize for the first time that half the hot tub has cleared out. The group of folks toweling off around us must have been related. They laugh and chat as they walk away. Now there are many vacant spots, and yet this man—Mr. Hunk, Stunt Devil—and I remain mere centimeters apart.
Our bodies aren’t touching, technically.
But the water swirling around us fills the tiny gaps between our limbs. If I moved, even slightly, we’d be thigh to thigh. Hand to leg. Arm to shoulder.
“So, I gotta ask,” he announces. “How is it that these happy-couple photos are going to cheer up your mom? Won’t she be worried to see her daughter hitting it off with some stranger?”
“Oh, no. You won’t be a stranger. I told her weeks ago I was dating a guy long-distance. These are going to be proof.”
He chuckles in that smooth, rumbling way I’m already starting to love. “Okay, okay. I can see the diabolical genius of it. Your mom is pressuring you to date… you’ve got the story already rolling…”
“Exactly. I made up this guy, Matt Monroe, and she’s so happy for me. I guess that’s what matters to me right now. I’ll deal with the rest down the line. Winters are always the hardest for her anyway. She always perks up come spring.”
“The winter blues. You must be from one of those states where the sun doesn’t shine.”
“Once, the winter was so bad that the local newspaper printed an actual article about our first sunny spring day. ‘Locals Appreciate First Sunshine of Ninety-one Days.’ ”
“Man, ninety-one days of gray. That’s a long stretch.”
“It probably sounds ridiculous that it made the news, but believe me, it was worthy. I remember that day. The feel of sunshine on my cheeks was a revelation. I was like, what is this wonderful feeling?”
He grins. “I get it. We’re sun worshippers out west. And I get that you want to cure your mom’s winter blues, too. No harm there. If you ask me, your fib about the boyfriend goes under the umbrella of ‘harmless white lies.”
“I’m hoping for more than harmless. I’m hoping we earn some actual smiles.”
“I’ll put on the charm for the photos.”
“You seem to be fairly good at that.”
“Fairly?” He arches his brow again, then nudges me gently. I rock in the hot water, and when I settle in again—eek! —our shoulders kiss. “Come on. I’ve been told I have a silver tongue. And all you’re giving me is ‘fairly’ charming?”
“Okay, okay,” I giggle. “I take it back. Very charming.”
“Great revision. I’ll take it. Believe me, your mother will think you’ve got husband material in your life when these photos come in. She’ll start searching for baby blanket patterns online so she can start crocheting. These photos will be better medicine for her winter blues than one of those UV lights.”
“Ugh. I actually did get her one of those a few seasons back. It didn’t fix things enough…”
When he watches me, patiently waiting for more, my words flow out. “It’s like she thinks that if she fixes me , her life will improve. We’ve got issues.”
I pause before promising I’m working on it, like I always tell myself.
Oh, Chester.
I miss you.
The water tickles my chin when I sink a little lower. My arm slides delightfully along Mr. Hunk’s.
We settle in closer together.
Maybe it is too easy to sit next to this guy.
And maybe I still have Vacation Brain. The rum isn’t entirely out of my system, and the sunshine and surf view make me feel very… un-Hazel-like.
I don’t usually chat like this with strangers.
Hawaii has cast some kind of spell on me. No, it’s probably this guy who has cast it. His easygoing openness makes me want to be more open than usual. Plus, I know I’ll never have to see him again once this week is over. That takes a lot of pressure off.
As the jets massage my back, I relax a few tense muscles.
Our legs touch under the frothy surface. Just barely, but… still. The contact makes me feel all buzzed up, even more so than that cocktail I slurped down as if it was Gatorade. My heart thrums happily.
“Everyone has issues,” he says.
“Yeah. One hundred percent.”
“You must have your life together enough if you’re sitting here in Hawaii on a Saturday afternoon in February.”
“Ha. Okay, good point. Thanks. Maybe it’s just my love life that needs a tune-up.”
“Amen.” He nods. “I could use the same. Hey, I have a question.”
I risk a look into his green eyes.
Nope .
Shouldn’t have done that.
I fall into his gaze a few more of those Mississippi counts and suddenly forget all the basics of conversation-making.
Then I catch myself—staring, again—and gulp. “Hm? Er. Yeah. Okay. Shoot.”
“These photos… Okay if I use them, too? On Insta? I’ve got a girlfriend situation.”
My thrumming, happy heart cracks like shattered glass.
Suddenly, I really do need fixing.
I’m Humpty Dumpty, high on my good luck, but I’ve just plummeted off the fence onto the earth.
No one can put me back together again.
I stare into the bubbles and let my palms rest on the surface to keep busy—so he can’t suspect my disappointment.
For a minute there, I thought we were clicking.
I thought sparks were flying. Turns out, sometimes letting your leg brush with a stranger’s in a hot tub just happens because the darn tub was crowded when you both got in. Maybe he doesn’t even realize how close we’re sitting.
So, he does have a girlfriend. He’s not here ‘solo’ like he said. Figures.
Out of the corner of my eye, I see him press his lips together like he’s thinking. He tilts his chin up toward the sky. “Agh. That’s wild that I just said that. Man, my brother was right. I have to stop thinking of her like that…”
He falls quiet.
It feels odd, given that he’s been ‘silver-tongued’ and chatty since his arrival.
I peek over at him. He looks thoughtful. He watches the clouds for a minute, though he’s obviously not contemplating their puffy forms. The pain in his eyes says he’s thinking about a woman.
“Do you ever feel like maybe you’re your own worst enemy?” he asks after a minute.
“Yep. I know that feeling.”
“Okay, here’s the thing. This isn’t a girlfriend situation. It’s an ex-girlfriend situation, but for some reason, I’ve got this mental block up about her. My brother says it’s because I’m willful. Like, I just see what I want, and refuse to see anything that doesn’t fit my story. He says I’ve been like this since I was a kid.”
“Willful.”
“Yeah. Stubborn, I guess. For me, it’s just how I operate. You know how sometimes; other people can notice things that are impossible to pick up on on your own?”
“That’s what friends are for. And family. My sisters call me out on my stuff sometimes.”
“Like what?”
“Like how I cater to our mom, take her problems on as my own. How I people please. How I put my needs last…”
“You got a few sisters?”
“Two. One older, one younger. I’ve got that middle-child syndrome, where you play peacekeeper and secretly feel neglected.”
“How could you get neglected? You’re clever, nice, and beautiful. You looked like some kinda Hollywood starlet from another era over there sunbathing.”
“You saw me sunbathing?”
“Yeah. You caught my eye.”
And just like that, my disappointment lifts.
Maybe he is interested in me…
I’m grateful for the heat rising off the water. This flush on my cheeks hopefully looks like it could be due to the hundred-and-two-degree temps.
But really, my blushing has nothing to do with the heat and everything to do with the fact that I haven’t had a guy talk to me like this in quite a while.
Working from home cuts back on the exchanges that occur in the world. I mean, I’m not a hermit, but I don’t rub shoulders with the public on a regular basis, either.
More specifically, I don’t rub shoulders with guys my age on a regular basis—guys who can make me melt like this one just did.
He noticed me.
He was watching me.
I feel so desired, in a way I never feel back in New Hampshire, when I log marathon work sessions at my desk, dressed in sweats.
Thank goodness I had the good sense to order a new bikini before this trip. It’s way more modest than a lot of get-ups I’ve seen out here by the pool, but I feel comfortable in it. And, maybe, it’s even sort of flattering.
I mean, this guy seems to think it looks good on me.
I study the teeny tiny bubbles on the water’s surface. Suddenly, I’m too tongue-tied to speak.
Thankfully, he picks up the ball I dropped and runs with it. “I’m the youngest. One older brother. He knows me better than I know myself. Anyway, back to my request. So, the situation is about my ex . It’d be great to post some of these happy-couple photos we’re gonna take to make a point.”
“You’re trying to get her back?” I try to sound neutral, as though my mood doesn’t hang on his answer.
I’m on a rollercoaster, and he’s about to send me up or make me plummet downward.
“Nah. That ship has sailed.”
A sigh of relief whooshes out of me. My giddiness ramps up.
Of course, it would be right in line with my typically lousy luck to meet a hunk and then find out he’s pining over an ex and scheming to win her back.
My bad luck must be on vacation, too, because his answer seems genuine.
He meets my eye. “Is it weird for me to tell you this stuff? You don’t want to hear it.”
“Are you kidding me? This is more fun than napping on my own. I’m all ears.”
“Okay, really? Because you’re scary easy to talk to. The kind of person I could way overshare with. If I am, just stop me.”
I flash a quick grin. “I will. I promise.”
“Right. Yeah, we’re definitely over. I was just too stubborn to admit it to myself. We kept talking on social media, and that twisted up my head about the whole thing. I thought we were on track to maybe start up again, but she was on a different page. She’s tying the knot with some guy soon. Maybe if I post some pics of you and me, she’ll know I moved on, just like she did. I wouldn’t mind getting some dignity back. I think the last thing I sent her was a cat meme.”
“A cat meme?”
He reaches a wet hand up to scrub the stubble on his chin. “She likes cats. I used to send them to her whenever I saw a good one, one I thought might make her laugh.”
“You had it bad for this woman.”
“I don’t know… I don’t know if I did.” He trails off again. He shifts. Our knees bump gently, then settle in side by side.
I notice the way the late afternoon light illuminates the tousled waves of his hair. When was the last time he shaved—two days ago? Three? The stubble on his jawline is tinted auburn. It suits his roguish, confident, devil-may-care look.
My eyes travel to his lips.
A fantasy of what it would feel like to feel them on mine passes through my mind, unstoppable.
Delightful.
Devine.
I can imagine the heat, the warmth, the thrill .
I shift my leg underwater so it’s no longer touching his. Maybe the friendly, super-casual physical contact is getting to me.
“I think I liked being with her for the wrong reasons,” he says. “I liked her through rose-colored glasses, you know? That’s what Brett—sorry, my brother—told me earlier today. Like the hippies used to wear, so a filter of pink covered everything. It was some sort of trick I played on myself. Probably not the makings for a healthy relationship.”
“Yes.”
“Hunh?” He crooks his mouth at me. “Yes, about what? That I’m messed up about love?”
“No, no. I mean, yes, you can use the photos.”
“Great. We have a win-win here, I think.”
“The elusive win-win. Easy enough in theory, but in reality, they’re hard to come by.”
“Then I’m especially happy we landed on one. I’ll help you cheer up your mother, and you’ll help me regain my dignity with my ex.”
“Deal.” I stick out my hand.
His grip is strong and gentle at the same time. Energy pings along my forearm, then zips through me. “Deal.”
I don’t want to let go of his hand. Like, ever.
But I make myself break contact. “Okay, great. I guess we better get down to business. If we take a couple of selfies with both our faces in the shot, that’ll do for today. We can use my phone for the photos; I have a decent camera. It’s over in my bag by that chaise.” I gesture over to the pool and then stand up.
My mind is already on getting my phone. Mentally, I’m flawlessly getting out of the hot tub to move this rendezvous along. I am really enjoying this guy’s company, but I don’t want to waste his time.
However, my body malfunctions. I feel it in my heart first. The thump-thump starts in my chest but radiates to my temples in a way I’ve never experienced before.
That’s not right, I think, as the thumping gets louder.
Then, my vision changes. A dark tunnel closes in on me so fast I barely have time to blink.
The world turns black.
The next thing I know, I’m falling.