Chapter 13
Chapter Thirteen
F ortunately, the first half of Kelsey’s shift flew by, thanks in part to a five-year-old who’d wanted to have her birthday party at the library. They’d set up in the children’s nook, and Kelsey had read three books of the birthday girl’s choosing. It had been a welcome diversion after the craptasticness of the morning.
Craptasticness?
As a librarian, she was supposed to be good with words. Hopefully that included making them up.
She shook her head, thinking she was more of a mess than she’d thought. And damn, was she a mess. Last night—and this morning—had been so fantastic, and then, in the blink of an eye, it had all gone to crap.
Yep, craptasticness was her new favorite made-up word.
Her phone buzzed again. She looked at it vibrating on the counter in front of her. Tempting as it was to pick it up, she was certain it was Luke. He’d already texted her at least four times, asking if he could pick her up after work, asking if she had time to talk, asking if she was ignoring him.
No. No. Yes.
She’d actually driven her car this morning, which was ridiculous since she’d had to park it almost as far away as she would’ve walked from Luke’s house. But there was something far more dramatic about stalking out of a scene like this morning and getting in a car to drive away. Merely walking down an idyllic street lined with trees turning red and gold just didn’t send the right message.
Had she been trying to send a message?
She had no idea. She’d been surprised and hurt and disappointed. And scared. She knew, of course, that relationships didn’t come with guarantees. She’d been in a relationship that had pretty much scared her off relationships forever. Or so she’d thought.
Luke challenged everything she thought she knew. He was kind, considerate, sexy as hell, and so caring. But it was all so new. This morning had proven that. Apparently, his ex still thought she had a shot with him.
Kelsey had come out of the bathroom and nearly tripped when she’d seen Paige’s arms around Luke. Then she’d kissed his cheek, and Kelsey’s gut had twisted. There was plenty of jealousy, but also anger. She’d let down her guard and gotten kicked in the face for her trouble.
She straightened her shoulders. Time to stop wallowing and get back to work. She picked up the books she’d just unboxed from yesterday’s late mail delivery and took them to the Spanish-language display she was creating. There were a lot of migrant workers in the area, and Kelsey hoped to encourage them to come to the library. Her Spanish wasn’t great, but she was working on making some signs and flyers and had an old college friend in Washington who was fluent who would ensure she got them right.
An older gentleman who’d been browsing the nonfiction area walked by her on his way to the door. “Don’t know why you need those books.”
She smiled at him as she propped a picture book on the table. “We have a good-sized Spanish-speaking population in the county. I’m sure they’d love to come in and find books in their language.”
He scoffed. “They need to learn English if they want to live here.”
Kelsey’s adrenaline spiked. She didn’t want to have an ugly confrontation, but this guy was a jerk. “They do learn English. They also want to hold on to their culture. I think that’s great. America is a melting pot, after all.”
He rolled his eyes. “You young people and your PC garbage.” He turned and left while Kelsey stared after him.
A couple in their thirties walked up to her. “We overheard your conversation,” the woman said. “You were amazing for standing up to him.”
Kelsey began to relax. “Thanks. I just couldn’t let him say that.”
“We would’ve backed you up if he’d kept on,” the man said, returning her smile. “Good job. And we love the library.”
She’d seen them in here before, usually on Sundays, she realized. “Thanks. I appreciate hearing that. Anything I can help you find today?”
“Actually, we’re looking for a documentary. It doesn’t look like you have it, but maybe it’s checked out.”
“I can certainly look. And I can try to find a copy at another library too.” She turned toward the counter. “Come with me.”
Kelsey immersed herself in work until it was just about closing time. As she eyed the clock, she wondered what she was going to do after she left. Go back to Luke’s? She still wasn’t ready to talk to him. Go home? She could…but more and more, she loathed the idea of spending time there at all. It was just so small and dingy, and after the water pressure at Luke’s house, she thought she might cry if she had to shower at her apartment.
Pulling her phone from her pocket, she texted Gram and asked if she had dinner plans. A few minutes later, Gram responded with an enthusiastic invitation for her and Luke to come eat at George’s with her. Kelsey accepted without bothering to clarify that it would just be her.
At last it was closing time, and she went to the door to flip the sign and lock up. As she got there, the door pushed open, and all she could see was a giant bouquet of flowers.
Luke’s head popped out from behind it, and he gave her a smile that normally would’ve melted her socks. However, her gaze went back to the flowers and stayed. Anxiety curled inside her, and ice chilled her spine.
“I brought you these,” he said, holding them out. “I wanted to apologize— profusely —for what happened this morning.”
She stared at the flowers but didn’t take them. She couldn’t. She wouldn’t .
Her heart threatened to beat out of her chest. She felt as though she couldn’t breathe. Turning, she went to the counter where she had her purse locked up in the cabinet. Her hands were shaking, but she pulled the key from her pocket.
“Kelsey?” He’d followed her. “Are you just going to pretend I’m not here?” He lowered his hand and let the flowers drop so that they pointed to the ground.
“No,” she said slowly, unlocking the cabinet. “I don’t have anything to say.”
“Then you can just listen. Paige is the girlfriend I mentioned to you before. We dated for a few years when I lived in California. Then we tried a long-distance relationship, but it didn’t work out. I guess she’s still sort of hung up on me. I didn’t realize, and I had no idea she was coming this morning. I’m so sorry.”
Kelsey put her purse over her shoulder. “I understand.”
He frowned. “It doesn’t sound like it.”
She walked toward the door. “Luke, I’m on my way out.”
Again, he followed her. “Kelsey, we need to talk about this. Please?”
He was probably right, but she couldn’t do it now. Not with those god-awful flowers. “I can’t right now.”
“You couldn’t this morning either. When would it be convenient?”
She heard the edge to his tone and pivoted to face him. “I’m sorry this isn’t convenient for you. But I don’t owe you anything .” She refused to feel beholden to anyone ever again. Not after Noah. Not after feeling as though her life wasn’t her own.
He winced. “I’m sorry. I’m just frustrated. We had such a nice night and morning, and now it’s all…a mess.” He held the flowers out to her again. “Can I at least give you these?”
“No. You can burn them.” She opened the door. “Please go, I need to lock up.”
He stared at her, and she glanced away, unable or maybe unwilling to look at the hurt in his gaze. Then he turned and walked out. He paused on the sidewalk and waited for her to lock the door. “Will I see you later?”
She pulled her purse strap higher on her shoulder as she stuffed the keys in one of the pockets. “I don’t know. I’ll…text. Or something. Bye.”
She spun around and strode away, feeling his stare burn into her back.
The late afternoon sun was bright and crisp, the breeze light and cool as she made her way to her car. Once inside, she sat there and stared at the park where children played, and a couple sat on a blanket enjoying a picnic. It was an idyllic scene and yet all she could see were the flowers Luke had brought her.
God, she hated flowers. How many times had Noah shown up with an apology, an excuse, and a goddamn bouquet? More times than she cared to remember. It had gotten to the point that the mere smell of lilies or freesia or carnations or, worst of all, roses sent her into a panic. Even now, her heart was still pounding and her mouth was dry.
She started the car and headed toward George’s. Gram had texted her the address. It was south of town—just a short eight or so minute drive. On the way, she did her meditative breathing, and by the time she arrived, her pulse had returned to normal.
Kelsey parked behind Gram’s car in the driveway. She stared at the house for a minute. It was a very nice Craftsman style. It was fairly new, and she wondered if he’d had it built. She knew he owned several acres of vineyard, which stretched up a gentle slope behind the house.
Gram came out onto the front porch and Kelsey stepped out of her car. “Are you coming in or not?” Gram asked, smiling.
A sense of peace stole over Kelsey. She was so grateful to have her grandmother here. “I’m coming.” She locked the car and went up to the porch, where she hugged Gram tight.
Gram patted her back. “My goodness. You act as though you haven’t seen me in ages. I just saw you last night.”
“I know. It’s just… It’s been a rough day.” Between the ex-girlfriend, the obnoxious patron, and the flowers, perhaps rough wasn’t a severe enough word. She backed away and tried to summon a smile but failed.
Gram put her arm around her shoulders. “Come inside and let’s see if George can’t make you one of his signature margaritas.”
“He doesn’t have to tend bar on his day off,” Kelsey said as she opened the door.
Gram chuckled. “Just try and stop him.”
Gram closed the door behind them as Kelsey took in the entry, which led to a massive great room. Tall windows on the opposite wall climbed probably twenty feet, nearly to the ceiling. The view of the vineyard was expansive—and breathtaking.
“George, your home is beautiful.” It was, in fact, very tastefully appointed and looked like it belonged in a magazine spread.
“Isn’t it?” Gram said. “He hired a decorator. Can you believe that?”
George laughed as he came from the left, where a massive island separated the kitchen from the great room. “I spent my entire life in the military. What the hell did I know about decorating a house?” He grinned at Kelsey. “What can I get you to drink?”
“I think she needs a margarita,” Gram said. “She’s had a bad day.”
George’s brow furrowed. “That’s no good. Come on in and sit down at the bar. I’ll whip up something tasty.” He winked at her and went into the large gourmet kitchen.
Kelsey looked around in disbelief as she made her way to one of the cushy leather barstools. “George, I still can’t believe you live here, like this. I never would’ve guessed this place belonged to a retired marine.”
“I think that’s exactly what Ruby said.” He looked at Gram. “You want a margarita too, sweetheart?”
Sweetheart? Kelsey perked up. She knew they were spending a lot of time together but wasn’t sure how serious their relationship had gotten. She should’ve paid closer attention at the wine dinner last night. Except she’d been too wrapped up in Luke.
And there went her mood again.
George poured three margaritas. “I don’t blend ’em here at Casa Wilson. I can’t remember which you prefer, Kelsey.”
“I don’t have a preference. On the rocks is fine by me.”
“Excellent.” He finished and handed one to Kelsey and then one to Gram, who’d sat down beside her. Then he picked up the third and offered a toast. “To getting to spend an evening with two of the most beautiful women in the world. I’m a lucky old bastard.” There was a twinkle in his eye as he sipped his margarita.
Kelsey took a long drink and set the glass back on the granite countertop. “George, you make a mean margarita.”
“Thank you, and it’s my pleasure. Now tell us about your lousy day.”
Oh man, did she really want to? She didn’t see a way to avoid it, so she told them about the jerk at the library.
George shook his head. “I run into guys like that around here from time to time. Like you, I have no trouble setting them straight. Well done, Kelsey, I’d say your family did a good job raising you.” He tossed a warm smile at Gram.
Kelsey preferred to steer the topic away from herself. “So, it, uh, looks like you two are pretty cozy. Do you need a chaperone?”
Gram and George laughed, and Kelsey smiled as she took another sip of her drink.
“I think we’re a little past chaperones, dear,” Gram said. “But yes, I think cozy is a nice description. Rather like you and Luke.” She arched her brows at Kelsey as her lips curved up. “Except you’ve done us one better since you’re living together. I hope you’re not rushing into anything. Especially after what you went through with Noah.”
So much for trying to deflect the conversation away from her. Kelsey glanced at George to see his reaction. How much had Gram told him about Noah?
“Rest easy, Kelsey. Your secrets are safe with me. I’m a professional—used to work for the CIA.”
Kelsey’s jaw dropped. “Seriously?”
George nodded. “I’d rather you kept that to yourself. It’s not something I advertise. For perhaps obvious reasons.”
Kelsey could think of several, first and foremost being his safety—and the safety of those around him. “Do I need to worry about Gram being with you?”
He chuckled again, a low, warm sound. “Nah. That was a long time ago now. I’m an old bartender. Nobody cares about me.”
Gram gave him a loving—yes, loving—look. “ I care.”
“I know.” He blew her a kiss.
Kelsey took another drink of her margarita and marveled at how adorable they were and how thrilled she was to see Gram so happy. She was also quite pleased that the conversation had turned again.
But that was short-lived.
“Back to you and Luke,” Gram said, turning toward Kelsey on the stool. “Are you taking things slow?”
She considered answering yes and just leaving it at that. However, she’d realized after Gram had come to town that she didn’t like being alone. Noah had isolated her from family and friends, and it had taken her far too long to realize that she missed having people in her life.
“Sort of,” she said softly. “I like him a lot. But I’m… I’m not sure I’m ready for a relationship.”
Gram clasped her hand over Kelsey’s on the counter. “I think it’s good that you’re cautious.”
“I don’t know,” George said, drawing both Kelsey and Gram to look at him. “If there’s anything I’ve learned, it’s that life is short. It took me over six decades to realize I wanted someone in my life. I never wanted to worry about someone else. I couldn’t, really, not in my profession.”
It made sense to Kelsey that he wouldn’t want to have relationships. But it wasn’t the same as her situation. She’d been abused. “I think it’s kind of apples and oranges, but I get what you’re saying about not having regrets.” She had plenty of them. And they were in the way of allowing someone else into her life.
“Sure, it’s a bit different, but maybe not in the way you think.” He leaned forward and set his elbows on the counter. “I was always kind of a loner—too smart for my own britches. Military life suited me, and the intelligence work was an even better fit.”
“Wasn’t it lonely?” Kelsey asked.
“I didn’t think so. Not until I decided to leave. Then I began to realize just how isolated I really was. The problem was, though, by then I was too far gone. I didn’t know how to open up. I got back to the real world, and I didn’t have a clue. Thankfully, I met Rob Archer. He sort of insisted we become friends.” He laughed again, that low, rumbly, feel-good chuckle. “Rob’s a great man. I owe him a lot. Without him, I probably wouldn’t have gained enough courage—or social skills—to ask your lovely grandma out.”
Kelsey could feel the warmth between them, and it gave her hope. For what, she wasn’t sure. She just wanted to feel that someday. “Well, that seems to be paying off for you.”
“On one of my assignments, I came into contact with a lot of women who’d been abused. They had one thing in common—they didn’t trust themselves anymore. Sure, they didn’t have much trust in other people either, but the fundamental thing they had to learn was how to forgive themselves and accept that none of it was their fault.” He frowned. “It’s a tough thing.”
Kelsey’s throat knotted, and she knew from experience that she was a heartbeat away from an avalanche of tears. He’d drilled right into the heart of things. She only nodded.
Gram moved her hand to Kelsey’s back, stroking her. “It’s all right,” she murmured. Then she looked to George. “You don’t have to make the poor girl cry.”
This made Kelsey laugh, for which she was grateful. “I’m okay. George, you’re an insightful man.”
“Well, all I’ll say to you—like you even want my advice, but you’re getting it anyway—is that Luke is a terrific guy. I don’t know the jackass who was in your life before, and I hope I never do.” His eyes glinted steel. “He’d better hope that too. Anyhow, you can’t do much better than Luke Westcott. His family is solid, he has a great work ethic, and he’s someone I trust.”
Kelsey recalled the hurt look in his eyes when she’d told him to burn his flowers. He couldn’t possibly know what they meant to her. How they’d upset her. He was just trying to make amends, and for something that wasn’t even his fault. So what if his ex showed up that morning? Had that really been the issue, or was it just that Kelsey didn’t trust herself not to make another mistake?
She was pretty sure she knew the answer. She had made a mistake, but hopefully it was fixable.
She lifted her glass now in a toast of her own. “To unsolicited, awesome advice.”
George clinked his glass against hers, and Gram joined in. They all took a drink.
“All righty, then,” George said, rubbing his hands together, “who’s hungry for some steak?”