So Special: Fanatic Love

1. Katniss Raven Roland

Katniss Raven Roland

What Do You Mean I’m Pregnant…

“ B est friend, I don’t know why you haven’t gone to the urgent care yet.” Daisy had been fussing at me for almost a week. I was overly annoyed with her. “You’re in nursing school, so stop playing before they stop you from going to the hospital. You know that’s going to put you back and you’re going to be mad at yourself.”

We were in her apartment above her parents’ garage. I liked my apartment, but I loved hers. She’d invited me to move in since it was a two bedroom, but I declined. Her parents suggested it as a way for me to save money. I loved her parents for that. I still declined the invitation because I loved Daisy, but I needed my space when I wanted my space. Her chipper mood can be draining at times when I want to sit in my rut. If I got into a rut now, she wouldn’t hesitate to come to my apartment to annoy me across town, so imagine if we were in the same household.

I thought about what she said. Unfortunately, I begrudgingly agreed. To push myself back at this point because I wanted to be bullheaded was not a smart move. “Fine, we can go. I told you that it’s just a stomach bug or something.” She gave me a side-eye and I quickly put my index finger up, then said, “Bitch, don’t play with me. Me and Asher used protection.”

Daisy’s face contorted. “Well, bitch, who is your baby daddy? I swear if you doubled back to that fuck boy Ryan, I’m going to beat your face the fuck up.” Daisy’s crazy ass was serious about being alright with punching a pregnant woman in the face.

“Girl, we don’t even know if I’m pregnant.” I rolled my eyes. “You always do the most.”

She kissed her teeth before she got up from her couch. “Well, get your ass up so I can find out that I’m going to be a god-auntie.”

Without words, I got up from my seat on her couch. “Come on so these people can tell you that it’s just a damn bug. Ole annoying ass girl.”

She burst into laughter. “You love me though.” After she grabbed her keys out of the key bowl, she told me that she would drive. I’m glad she knew because she’s the one that wanted me to go. She’s paying the damn copay, too, since she’s wasting our time.

“Congratulations, Miss Roland. You are indeed pregnant,” the doctor said after he walked in the patient room that me and Daisy sat in. When I got here, Daisy told them to do a urine and blood test to confirm that I was pregnant.

In that moment, I singlehandedly brought back the mannequin challenge. My lids expanded to make room for my bulging eyes. Daisy had to pat my back to remind me to breathe. After I finally blinked, I replied, “No, that can’t be possible. There is no way I’m pregnant.”

The doctor looked back at the file for a moment. “Based on the results of your urine and blood test, you are, Miss Roland. I urge you to visit your OB-GYN. They will be able to confirm how far along you are.” He closed the folder. “I’ll give you two a minute.”

Tears formed. “I don’t know how this happened.” My head snapped toward Daisy. “We used protection the entire time and I haven’t had sex well before him or after him, Daisy.”

Daisy pulled me into a hug. “It’s alright, best friend. Give me your phone.” I gave her my phone as I silently cried.

I was so confused right now. Did a condom break? No, I would have thought he would have told me that so that I could have gotten a Plan-B or something. Daisy gave me back my phone before she told me to come on. When I asked where we were going, she let me know that she was able to schedule an emergency appointment for me in an hour with my doctor.

I slid down from the table, then moped out of the urgent care. What the fuck is going on? Me and Daisy rode to my doctor’s office in complete silence. It took about twenty-five minutes to get to the office and another five to find a parking space. We sat in the car for another fifteen minutes so I could get myself together. I knew what the doctor would say. How could I deny the results of a blood and urine test?

It didn’t take long to get checked-in and be put in a room once we got into the office. Luckily, it was a light appointment day for the office hence being able to get an appointment on the same day. That hardly ever happened. They followed the same procedures as the urgent care and received the same result. I sat there as I waited for the ultrasound tech in disbelief like it was my first time hearing the news. I’m fucking pregnant.

“What am I going to do with a baby? I can barely take care of myself,” I mumbled. My little warehouse job just covered my bills, and this was not something that I would put on my parents. Unsure of how I got here, it was still my responsibility.

The ultrasound tech came in and did her thing. When she told me how far along I was and my conception window, it confirmed what I dreaded. I was pregnant with Asher Kane Wilson’s baby. Yeah, I was his number one fan, but I promise an autograph and dick was enough of a gift from him. He could have kept the baby.

It took me a week to get the courage to tell my parents about my irresponsibility that resulted in an unplanned pregnancy with a man I didn’t know. Yes, I know all about Asher Kane in a fan way, but not a real person way. Daisy, of course, was with me to break the news during dinner.

“Why y’all so quiet tonight?" my mother questioned. “Usually, I can’t shut you two up.”

There was no need to beat around the bush. I knew if I did, my dad would quickly get annoyed. Time to rip the band-aid off. “Mom, Dad, I’m pregnant.”

The room fell stone silent. My mother glanced between me and my father. My father placed his fork on his plate then put his head into the palms of his hand. “Katniss Raven, I know your ass did not go back to that fuck ass nigga and let him get you pregnant.”

My head shook vigorously. “No! No! We haven’t dealt with each other in forever.” When he looked up and asked me who was the father of my child, I mumbled, “Asher Kane Wilson.”

My father stared at me but said nothing. I sat there awkwardly under his stare. I would have rather him say something than to look at me like he wanted to jump across the table at me.

“Baby, did you hear her?” my mama asked him.

He took a breath. “Yeah, I heard what the fuck she said. I’m trying to understand how that happened, but I honestly don’t want to know. I’m a man, and seeing that you never told us that you and Asher were talking, dating, or anything like that I’ll use context clues and common sense.” He pushed his chair back. “I need a second.”

When he walked out of the dining room, I broke. I felt like a complete failure. My father’s disappointment would always hurt me more than his being upset with me. My mother came over to me. Daisy stood so my mother could sit in her seat. “Baby, calm down,” she said after she pulled me into her arms. “He just needs a minute to digest it.”

Well, that minute was more like an hour. Dinner was over and everything was put up. Me, Daisy, and my mother were sitting in the living room when he finally came from the front porch. He sat in his favorite chair across from us. “Alright, let’s talk about this. First, Katniss, I love you. Nothing you do can ever make me not love you.

“You’re twenty-eight and an adult. Would I have rather you be married? Of course.” He paused, then continued. “What are your plans?”

I sat there for a minute to think about it. I gulped before I answered. “I think I should terminate the pregnancy.”

“The hell you will!” My mother spoke up. “You will not abort my grandbaby.” She looked at my dad. “This girl done lost her damn mind.”

Daisy giggled. “Girl, you must have forgotten how far along you are.” She gawked at me. “Abortion where?” Fuck! She was right. I was too far along to get a legal abortion.

My dad nodded. “Welp, abortion is off the table. It was off the table whether it was legal or not. Your ass would have had my grandbaby and handed him or her over and gone about your business.” His eyes tightened. “Just to be clear. What are your plans?”

When I said I didn’t know, Daisy asked the next question. “Are you going to tell Asher?” She sat on the couch on the left side of me with her leg up in the seat facing me.

“No, I’m not. I don’t even have the man’s phone number,” I said dejectedly. “What am I supposed to do, hit him up on IG like the rest of the groupie hos?” I put my face into my palms. “How did I get myself into this?”

Daisy grabbed my hand. “Best friend, I don’t think that is the right decision. That man deserves to know that he has a child out here in the world.”

“I agree with Daisy,” my father said. “As a man, I would be devastated if I found out that I had a child in the world, and no one told me.” He leaned up in his seat. “Now, baby girl, you are grown, and you make your own decisions. I will support you either way. Can I ask why you don’t want to tell him?”

I shrugged my shoulders. “I don’t want the drama of it all. He’s a very successful, very popular professional football player.” I looked over at my mom. “Could you imagine what the blogs would say? I would be the whore who trapped him with a baby. I’m not going to be that.”

My mother smiled softly. “Katniss, I understand what you’re saying and how you feel. With all of that, I want you to realize that it is still selfish. This is not about you; it’s about your baby. You would rather your baby not have a father that lives in the same city than give a damn what people say or think about you?”

Without thought, I answered, “Yes, Mom. I do.” I understood they may not agree with my decision, but right now it was for the best.

Back To Present…

God is a funny God, I tell you! What are the damn odds that I would run into Asher after all this time? In all the months I was pregnant and the ten months after, I never ran into him. It’s not like I was hiding. I’d just been busy. I looked in the rearview mirror at my baby boy through his mirror that hung from the back seat over his car seat. I loved my baby boy more than anything in this world. Motherhood was the best thing that ever happened to me.

I told my truck to call Daisy. “Hey, girlie. Do you have my god-nephew?

“Daisy, I just saw Asher,” I said before she said anything else. She was quiet on the other end of the line before she asked me where. “His nephew goes to the same day care as Ashtan. He reached out to me on IG and wants to meet with me the day after next with Ashtan.”

There was shuffling on the other end. “What are you going to do? Are you going to meet him? Oh my God! What did he say?”

“Daisy, I told you what he said. He wants to meet me. Fuck!” My head hurt. “Oh, and he was with his sister. Why did this have to happen now? I just got my damn life together.”

Daisy laughed. “Girl, shut the hell up. You act like your baby daddy is some bum ass nigga that ain’t got shit. You’re the one that told me he signed a new one hundred and seven-million-dollar contract.

That was the truth. The Cougars went to the Superbowl and beat ass. Asher was out there putting in major work. When the media reported the amount of his new contract, my mouth hit the floor. Let’s not get into the endorsements that he received. “His money doesn’t determine who he is as a person.”

“You are absolutely right,” she agreed. “Let me tell you what does though. That man fucked you to utopia, let you relax in a nice hotel, and sent you on a shopping spree all on him. Wait, there was something else he did.” She paused for dramatic affect. “He paid your nursing school tuition so you could graduate debt free. Those are actions that determine who he is as a person.”

Why does she always have to be the sound of reason? “ You get on my nerves. I’m on my way to my parents to let them know.” When she told me that she would see me when I got there, I chortled. My mother must have told her what she was cooking. “Bitch, I’m almost there.”

Daisy met me in my parents’ driveway when I pulled up. It was fuck me as she went straight to the back seat to get her babbling god-nephew out. He was just as excited to see her as she was him. She didn’t acknowledge me until she got to the front of the car where I stood. “Oh, hey, best friend.”

I wanted to curse her out, but I just laughed and followed her into the house. The smell of the pot roast hit my nose as soon as I walked into the door. My mother didn’t care what day of the week it was, she would cook what people considered Sunday dinners on a Tuesday.

“Where is my grandson?” my daddy yelled out from the living room.

I swear it’s just fuck me when my son is around. “Daisy has him, Daddy!” I put my stuff down then headed to the living room. Both of my parents were there. The second Ashtan saw his grandparents his excitement turned up more.

“I’m happy both of you are in here, so I don’t have to repeat myself,” I said after I sat down. I cut my eye at Daisy who snickered from her seat next to me. “Shut up,” I told her. “I ran into Asher at Ashtan’s day care today. He wants to meet me with baby boy the day after tomorrow.”

My dad had my son in his arms. Without looking at me, he said, “That took longer than I thought it would.” When he did look up, he had the I told you so, little girl smirk that he loved to give me when he was right. “Let me know what happens.”

“That’s all you have to say, Daddy?” I was surprised he didn’t have more to say. He was usually more opinionated.

He peeked at me with a sideways glance. “What else do you want me to say, baby girl? You made a bed with comfortable sheets and a ton of pillows. Now it’s time to strip the bed and change the linens.”

When I asked my mom if she had something to say, she simply shrugged her shoulders. “Just happy my grandson is finally going to be able to meet his daddy.” Her eyes fell on me then softened. “I pray the fall out isn’t too bad. Remember, he has a right to be pissed with you.”

“He can be pissed all he wants, but he better not get too far out of line. If he does, he’s going to have to see me,” my daddy added. There was no humor or wavering in his voice. My daddy meant what he said. I knew he would pull out that Navy Seal training in a minute.

My phone buzzed in my scrubs pocket. When I pulled it out, I saw it was an IG notification to tell me I had a message.

“This is him now.” My fingers couldn’t move fast enough to open the message.

Asher_Kane_King843: Hey. Here’s the address. 1215 Charlotte Way Ste. 101. Please meet me there at 2:30 pm with baby boy.

I read the message a few times before my mama asked what it said. “He sent me a time and address, but it looks like it’s to an office or something.” I copied the address and put it into my internet search. When the name of the location came up, I was a bit taken aback. “Wow, it’s the address to a DNA clinic to do a paternity test.”

My dad’s face contorted. “What are you wowing for? You act like that boy knows you and y’all were in a committed relationship when this child was conceived.” His eyebrows were high.

“Best friend, it’s best to get that part out the way,” Daisy said in a soft tone. “What’s the point of having all this conversation and the paternity is not formally established?”

I knew she was right, but damn. I took a deep breath, opened my IG messages, then responded. Let’s get this out of the way.

Me: We’ll be there.