Chapter 14
Lacey
For the past four days, Cole has been blowing up my phone, apologising. Because I’m immature, I sent him a link to a song – Muck Sticky’s “Fuck Off (Official Dance Remix)”. Safe to say he hasn’t messaged me since.
Part of me feels sad, because even though I had gotten mad at Cole crashing in to save me from the non-date and Ted’s endless ramblings about himself, it felt like Cole was there for the wrong reasons.
I wanted him to be there for me. I can’t let him off that easily, not when he was spying on me.
Not when he’s failed me as a best friend so many times in the past few months.
I check my emails, and one has come through from the midwife.
It’s a list of classes that I can start attending and book onto.
One of them is yoga at the new yoga studio that’s opened up.
Maybe that’s what I need, some meditation.
I fill out the form, and it asks if anyone will be attending with me, so I fill out Emmy and Hayleigh’s names. They won't mind.
There’s a knock at the door, and when I pull it open, standing there is Cole, looking as delicious as could be. In one hand, he holds a gift bag, and in the other, a basket of mangos. A small smile touches my lips, which obviously he zeroes in on.
I cross my arms and level him with a glare. His shoulders slump, and he looks down. Part of me feels sorry for him, but before I can say anything, he brings his eyes to meet mine.
“I’m so sorry, Lacey. I should have let you deal with it yourself, and I should have opened up and admitted I was scared.”
I open the door and let him in. He passes the gift bag and nods for me to sit on the couch. I plop myself down, and he shouts from the kitchen, “Mango smoothie?”
“Yes, please!” I open the gift bag and smile. He’s wrapped all the items individually in various shades of yellow and orange. Each one is a mango-scented item, ranging from bath salts and body wash to shampoo and conditioner. It’s a full pamper bag, just for me.
He comes back in with two smoothies and hands me one as he sits next to me. I gulp down a few mouthfuls before moaning, “Oh my god, this is amazing, Cole.” Are his cheeks going red?
“Glad you like it.” He levels that beautiful smile my way, and I crack.
“Okay, so I have a confession.” He nods at me to carry on. “I’m not mad you came to spy on me. Looking back now, it was pretty hilarious, and clearly Archie’s idea. What’s upsetting is that I asked you right what you thought and you didn’t message me back…It hurt me, Cole.”
He grabs my hands and strokes small circles on the back; that touch alone sends sparks through my body. Jesus, get a grip, girl.
“What can I do to make it better?” His question catches me off guard, and I almost tell him what I really want him to do.
Instead, I say, “You can come to yoga with me, you and those idiotic brothers of yours.” Seeing them try and fail at yoga will be an impressive punishment, if I do say so myself.
He laughs. “Okay. Yoga it is. Am I forgiven then?”
“Only if you finish The Vampire Diaries with me.”
“I’ll grab the popcorn, you grab the blankets.
And like no time has passed at all, my best friend is back.
**********
He kisses down the side of my neck, making me moan.
I love that delicious, tingling feeling you get when they hit the spot right.
He bites down, and I cry out, the sensation shooting straight through to my core.
I wiggle back onto him, desperate for some friction, so much so that I’m rubbing up against him like a damned cat in season.
His arms band around me, just underneath my breasts and his fingers find my nipple.
He squeezes, making me cry out louder. I’m going to come, I’m going to come from him playing with just one nipple.
I’m screwed. What the hell is it going to feel like when we make love?
“Fuck, Lacey.” Cole moans my name into my ear. He sounds so close. “Hmm,” he moans again.
Is this a dream, or is this really happening?
My eyes fly open. Sure enough, Cole’s arm is draped around me, and I shamelessly wiggle onto his very hard, huge cock.
I freeze, not daring to breathe.
“Cole?” I whisper his name, not wanting to startle him awake.
“Hmm? A few more minutes,” he mumbles, his voice sexy and sleep-addled.
“Cole, we fell asleep on the couch, and I hate to ruin the moment, but Peanut is pressing hard on my bladder right now.”
I hear him chuckle, then he loosens his arm, and I try to manoeuvre myself off the couch, but my centre of gravity is off with the bump, and I fall on my backside.
Cole’s eyes fly open, and I realise he was asleep this whole time. Our eyes collide, and then mine zero in on the very…very…big and thick and…
Cole clears his throat, his cheeks blazing. My eyes go wide, but I don’t say anything to him because I can’t, so I scramble to my feet and run to the bathroom before I embarrass myself all over the floor.
I finish doing what I need to do, wash my hands, and I feel a bubbling sensation in my stomach. Am I hungry? The feeling is there again.
“Oh my god, Peanut, is that you?” I place a hand to my stomach, and as if she hears me, those little popping bubbles appear again.
“OH MY GOD!” I shout as loud as I can because this is amazing.
Cole comes crashing, literally crashing, through my bathroom door, eyes wide.
“What’s wrong?!” His eyes are frantic and searching, and his hands roam over my body, then cup my face. “Lacey, can you hear me? What’s happened?”
I put my hands over his, the tears spilling over onto my cheeks and down my face. “Nothing is wrong, Cole. I felt the baby move.” My voice is a horse whisper.
He breaks into a smile that stretches across his face. “Can I feel?”
I nod, and he places his hands over my bump. I move them to where I last felt Peanut. He kneels before me and presses the side of his face ever so gently to my bump.
“Hey there, little Peanut, can you hear me?” The bubbles pop over and over as if she’s reacting to his voice, and I cry out.
“Did you feel that?” I run my fingers through his hair, but he shakes his head. “Maybe as she gets bigger.” I murmur, trying to reassure him. He doesn’t look sad or annoyed that he can’t feel her; there’s just awe in his eyes.
“Still set on Peanut being a girl then?” He looks up at me and smiles.
I nod. “I’m positive she is…I wanted to know if you would come with me again to the next scan? It’s next week.”
“Yeah, I’ll be there, won’t I, Peanut?” He places a kiss on my bump and closes his eyes. As he stands, he lowers his face to kiss my cheek. “I’ll go make us breakfast.” Then he walks off, leaving me flustered and wanting.
After I finish showering and getting ready, I head back to the living room to find Cole has made us breakfast. I notice he has made us more mango smoothies, along with French toast and berries. I sit down to him and dig in, moaning at the taste of sugary goodness that coats my tongue.
“Cole, these are amazing!”
His cheeks tinge red. “So, when is the next scan? I’ll make sure I’m free that day.”
“It’s next Wednesday. I was…uhm…going to offer Ted if he wanted to go as well…Not instead of you. I want you there for sure.”
He smiles at me. “It’s okay. He’s the biological father, Lacey. I get it. I’ll be there either way…” He looks like he wants to say more.
“Cole, what is it?” I expect him to brush me off like always.
“I’ve been seeing someone over the past few weeks, and she’s been helping me with…with something that’s been on my mind…”
He trails off when he sees my face. I can’t help it; I feel hollowed out. Cole has been seeing someone? Have I been misreading all of those signs? Oh god, they weren’t signs! He must think I’m desperate.
“Lacey, it’s not what you think…”
“No, it’s fine. You’re with someone, that’s great. But you could have told me you know. You never let me in, but you let some…some…floozy in!” I’m full-on shouting now as rage fills my vision.
I abandon the delicious French toast because there is no way I am eating his French toast now.
“Lacey, will you stop and listen?”
Nope, sorry, Cole. Fuck you!
“Fuck off, Cole!” I storm out of the living room and head for my bedroom, which takes me all of two seconds because my place is that small. I run in and shut the door behind me.
“Fine,” Cole’s muffled voice sounds through the door, “You have no option now but to listen to me…” I don’t give him any sign I am listening, although I am, but he doesn’t need to know that.
“I’m seeing a therapist, Lacey…”
Wow, that was NOT what I thought he was going to say.
“She’s called Sandra. She’s the same age as my parents, and she’s been helping me…
” I don’t dare breathe. “I…I…fuck why is this so hard!...” He pauses for a moment.
“I can’t have children, Lacey…I had an accident when I was younger.
I don’t know if you remember, but…” I nod to myself, I do remember.
“Something happened, and I was told that I could never, biologically, have children because of the trauma.”
Trauma. Oh, my poor sweet Cole. My heart breaks as everything starts to make sense – the sudden reluctant teenage Cole to take things further, why he’s never had any genuine relationships, why he insisted we only stay friends.
“I thought, for so many years, and somehow I still feel like I’m not good enough.
I can’t contribute or give you what you want, but Lacey, I’m done with that.
” He pauses for a moment. “I’m your guy.
It’s me, Lacey. I’m the one who is going to love you like no one has ever loved you before.
I want to be the last first kiss you have.
I want to take Peanut on as my own and to be the best girl dad there has ever been because, Lacey, it has always been you.
There has never been anyone who has come close; you’re the bar I hold everyone else up to.
I just hope you give me the chance to prove myself to you.
And if this isn’t what you want, then I’ll be your best friend and I’ll still be here… ”
I’ve heard enough. Cole loves me, really loves me, and he wants me, he wants us. I stand back and rip open the door to find him leaning against it. He falls back and whacks his head on the floor, and I burst out laughing.
“You’re such an idiot, Cole Peterson.”
He smiles up at me. “I realise that now.” He stands up and cups my face with both his hands. “I’m not perfect and I still have a long way to go…”
“Shut up and kiss me, Cole…”
The kiss isn’t slow or learning. It’s fast and hot, like our mouths have known what to do this whole time. My hands travel up his body, and I start undoing buttons as I go along before pushing his shirt off his shoulders.
Cole’s hands lift the hem of my T-shirt, and he pulls it up and over my head. With expert fingers, he unclips my bra from the back and pulls the straps tantalisingly down my arms until I’m bared to him.
“Fuck. I’ve dreamt of these…” His eyes widen as he dips his head and slowly circles his tongue around one nipple while his other hand plucks the other one. “You need to tell me if I’m moving too fast…”
“You’re not moving fast enough, Cole.”
He stands up and gently walks me back to my bed before pressing on my shoulders to sit me down. “Lie back, baby.” I melt at his words and do as I’m told.
He gently pulls off my leggings and kisses the inside of my ankle, then kisses a trail up the inside of my leg till he reaches the apex of my thighs.
“I don’t have enough time to devour you here the way I want to, but when I do…
I’m going to take my time.” His voice deepens, and I melt into a puddle of pleasure.
He continues kissing up and over my bump, between my breasts, up the side of my neck, and finally, he places gentle kisses on either side of my mouth before he slants his mouth over mine and kisses me deeply.
That’s when I feel his fingers; they glide gently up the inside of my leg and down the opposite side. I squirm, desperate for friction. I need him to touch me.
“Tell me what you need, baby…” he murmurs in my ear.
“I want you to hurry up and make me come, Cole.”
“Fuck, you have no idea what it does to me to hear you say my name in those breathy little moans.”
He gives me another searing kiss and at the same time plunges two fingers inside of me while his thumb circles my clit. I cry out at the invasion of pure pleasure as he works me over and over, curling his fingers inside and hitting that spot that has my knees shaking.
He watches me, and I try to hide my face, but he won’t let me. “Look at me while I make you come, Lacey. I’ve waited my whole life to watch this, and there isn’t any chance of me missing it.”
I turn my face to look at him. My eyes lock with his, and I feel the pleasure build beneath my skin. “My god, Cole…”
“That’s it, baby, let go…” That’s all it takes before the pleasure crashes over me in waves. He swallows my cries in a searing kiss and carries on stroking me till the pleasure subsides.
“Please tell me that wasn’t a dream…” I whisper the words, too scared in case they’re the truth.
“Not a dream. You’re both it for me, Lacey.”
I look into his eyes and smile. I’m finally home.