Chapter 19
Cole
“So tell me, how has your week been?”
I sit in front of Sandra and blow out a breath, shaking my head. “This week? It’s been great, better than great. We did some shopping for the baby and bought some more supplies for when she’s here.” A smile spreads across my face at the thought of her.
“That’s good, but there is something that is still bothering you. So, what is it?”
I let out a chuckle. “How do you do that?”
“Stop deflecting, Cole.” She gives me a pointed stare.
“Ted, the baby’s biological dad, was asking Lacey for money to get out of her life, and I lost my shit.” I shake my head again.
“Okay, first thing, and this might not be professional of me, but I like you and your family, so here goes. Ted is a prick; he’s a sperm donor, not a dad.
Second, what he’s doing is illegal, so I seriously advise you and Lacey to see a solicitor.
Third, you lost your cool. Tell me about that.
” She scribbles something down on her pad.
“I punched him in the stomach. To be fair, he swung first but…I’ve never hit anyone before. I don’t fight, I use my words, or I walk away. But I got so angry at him for thinking he could buy their freedom.”
She tilts her head slightly, assessing me. “Upon reflection, how do you feel about it?”
I blow out a breath, a humourless laugh leaving my lips.
“Not great, that’s for sure, but not because I hit him.
That actually felt pretty good. I feel like shit because I don’t want to make things worse.
What if, later on down the line, he wants a relationship with Peanut? Have I completely ruined everything?”
“That’s not for me to answer, Cole. How does Lacey feel about it?” She jots something down on her notepad.
“She wants him gone.”
Sandra looks at me as if I have two heads. “Then I would listen to my partner and continue to communicate with her.” She hesitates for a moment before saying, “Officially, this is our last session, but if you feel you want more, then we can continue. The choice is yours.”
“I’d like to continue them, if possible. I want to make sure I can be the best version of myself for them.”
She nods, scribbles on her pad and smiles to herself. I already know I’m the one for Lacey and Peanut, that won’t change, but I need to make sure.
**********
“Mum, you home?” I shout through the door as I walk into my parents' house.
“In here!” she calls from the kitchen, and I walk in to find her with vegetables covering the counter as she peels and chops them.
“Feeding an army, Mum?”
She waves me away. “No! Course not. I’m making squash soup for you to take to Lacey.”
I smile at her; I was telling her how difficult it was to find a squash-themed present for Lacey.
So far, I have managed to find a carrot plush for Peanut at twenty-one weeks.
At twenty-two weeks, it was a papaya—a grapefruit at twenty-three, and at twenty-four weeks, corn on the cob.
I was wracking my brains for squash, but, as always, my mum has come through.
“Do I get some as well?” I give her my best ‘I’m your favourite son smile’.
She rolls her eyes. “Obviously. I’m also making some for the rest of your brothers as well.” She side-eyes me and uses that freaky mother's intuition on me. “What’s wrong with you?”
I shake my head. “Nothing. Why would anything be wrong?”
She stops chopping and puts her hand on her hips. “Cole Peterson, don’t lie to your mother. Now tell me! Come on, I haven’t got all day.”
Sighing, I take a seat at the island. “So, Ted, the sperm donor, as Sandra calls him, came round to Lacey’s house a few weeks ago.
” I pause, but she just waits patiently for me to finish.
“He wanted to use me for money. He asked Lacey to use me for money to pay him to go away and give up his rights to the baby…to be compensated.” I spit the words out, and my mum stops what she’s doing.
“He did what?” Her voice is quiet, but I can tell that fury rumbles behind it.
“Yeah.” There are no other words to describe it.
“Is Lacey okay?” I nod. “Okay, well, I’m getting your father to book an appointment with Clive.” I nod again. Clive is our family lawyer. Lacey might see it as charity, but we’re in this together now, so whatever I have, she has.
“I was going to show Lacey the surprise I’ve been planning for her, but I’m not sure if now is the right time.” I usually don't ask for advice on anything romantic because I never planned on anything permanent, but with Lacey, I need to know that what I’m doing is right.
My mum stops what she’s doing and wipes her hands on her apron before rounding the island to stand in front of me.
She holds my hands, her eyes soft. “Stop second-guessing yourself, Cole. Lacey is your best friend, and she has been since you were both kids. You know her better than anyone, so you need to stop acting like you’re in new territory, because you’re not. ”
Before I can respond, my phone starts ringing, and I fish it out of my pocket. “It’s Lacey. I'd better take this. Thanks, Mum.” I stand up and move away. “Hey, I was just…”
She cuts me off in a panic. “Cole, I got a phone call to come to the hospital. I’m here now, can you come ge…t…m…ah…ssh…” The call breaks up, and I can’t hear what she’s saying.
“Lacey! Lacey! I can’t…” FUCK! “Mum, I need to go, Lacey just said she’s at the hospital, but the call cut out.”
“Go! Ring us when you know what’s happening.”
I give her a quick kiss on the cheek before peeling out of the house.
I get in my truck and shove my phone in the holder before dialling Cas. It rings for a few before he picks up. “Hello brother, what are you up to?”
“Cas, has Emmy heard from Lacey?”
“Uhm, yeah, actually, they all went out together with Daisy for some lunch. Why?”
“Lacey just phoned me, but the call cut off. She said she’s at the fucking hospital, man! Ring Emmy now and find out what’s going on.” I click off the call, not bothering with pleasantries as I speed across town to get to the hospital.
As I’m driving, I think of everything that could happen at twenty-five weeks, trying to remember what I’ve read on whether Peanut could survive or not. My mind is drawing a fucking blank because all I can think of is that Lacey is at the hospital, and I have no idea why.
I make it in record time and dump my truck in the first available space before racing inside. I don’t bother with the receptionist; I can find my way faster. The signs on the ceiling help me make my way to the antenatal ward. When I arrive, the receptionist looks up at me with a bored stare.
“Lacey Peterson, where is she?”
“Who?
“Lacey Peter…uhm, actually, she isn’t Peterson, she’s Lacey Fullman.”
“Again, who? Patient, Doctor, Nurse – give me a clue?” Wow, my mum always taught me to respect women, but she is making it very difficult right now.
“Patient.” I bite the word out.
She clicks her clicky, clacky nails on the keyboard before giving me a bored sigh. “Sorry. No, Lacey Fullman.”
In frustration, I bang on the desk. “Fuck!” Then, because I feel bad, I say, “Sorry, I didn’t mean that.” I walk out of the antenatal ward and dial Lacey’s number once more. It rings and rings, then cuts off. I pull at my hair, trying to centre my desperation, before I hear my name.
“Cole!”
I turn to find Emmy standing at the end of the corridor, slightly out of breath.
I walk up to her and grab her in a hug. “Man, am I happy to see you. Where’s Lacey? Is she okay? Is Peanut okay? What happened?”
She pats my back and we break apart. “Calm down, they’re both fine. She isn’t in the hospital as a patient.” I immediately sink to the floor in relief.
“Shit. My fucking heart is going to burst.” She winces at my words. “What is it?”
“That’s kind of spot on. She got a call while we were all out having lunch; her dad had a heart attack, Cole.”
Well shit. I stand back up. “Take me to where she is.”
We walk in silence to the ward where Lacey’s dad is being kept.
To see Don Fullman lying there, hooked up to multiple machines and unconscious, is jarring.
Lacey is by his side, holding his hand. Hayleigh and Daisy stand behind her.
When she notices I’m there, her tear-streaked face looks up to mine, and she breaks down.
I stride over to her and gather her in my arms and stroke her hair. “Shh, it’s okay. I’m here. I’m here.” I let her fall apart, and when there are no more tears, I sit her down and turn to say thank you to the girls, but they’re gone.
“Cole, it was awful. He looks so different. He looks so old.”
“Did they say what caused it?”
She shakes her head. “They said he was very lucky. They’ve done surgery on him and fitted some stents. He needs to rest in here for a bit, and then he can go home. What do I do, Cole? What if he wakes up and doesn’t want me here?”
“Lacey, stop. Getting stressed isn’t good for you or Peanut. We’ll deal with that when we get to it. Have you eaten?” She shakes her head, and I look around for a nurse. “Excuse me, nurse?” She walks over to us.
“Yes, what can I help you with?”
“She needs to eat and get something to drink. Is he going to be out a while?”
The nurse's face softens. Immediately understanding, she directs this to Lacey, “Yes, he will be out for a few hours at least. You can’t be sitting here making yourself unwell, honey. Get some food and something to drink. Nurse’s orders.”
Lacey, clearly at war with herself, finally agrees and stands. I grab her hand and squeeze it to let her know I’m here for her.
We go to the hospital canteen and I order us some grilled cheese sandwiches and chips, and grab two waters, while Lacey finds us a seat. I finish paying and walk over to where she’s sitting, setting the water on the table.
“Don’t take this the wrong way, but you look tired, Lace.” I give her a small smile and grab hold of her hand.
“I didn’t even know that my dad had me down as a next of kin.
It’s been seven years, Cole. Seven years that he hasn’t once tried to contact me, and…
to look at him, he doesn’t look like an alcoholic anymore.
I can’t explain it properly, but he looks healthy.
Obviously, not the wires and stuff…” She yawns and wipes her eyes before carrying on, “I mean, what does that mean, Cole? Does that mean he got clean? He got clean and just decided, what? To not make contact with me?”
“I don’t know Lace, but we can ask him when he wakes up. He owes you that much at least.”
“Why am I so unlovable?” She laughs, but there is no humour behind it, only pain, and that slices me in two.
“Hey, that’s not true, and you know it. You have a whole family that loves you, and friends who would do anything for you.”
“Just not my own dad.” I don’t have the answer for her. I can’t because I’m not in her position. “Enough about me being a Debbie Downer, how did today go?”
“We don’t have to talk about that if you don’t want to.”
“Please, Cole.” She gives me those pleading eyes.
“It was a good session. I’ve– I’ve asked for more…” I pause to look at her, unsure of what she might think, but she gives me an encouraging smile. “I also told her and my mum about DBD. She’s going to get my dad to speak to Clive, the family lawyer.”
She shakes her head. “Cole, no. I can’t possibly let them do that. It’s going to cost a fortune, and I need to save for that…”
“Lacey, stop. He owes my dad a favour anyway. And before you say anything, this has nothing to do with us being what we are now. You were always part of our family, way before us. They want to help. It’s okay to let people help.”
“I feel like I have nothing to give them back…”
“You. You’re enough.”
I am going to spend the rest of my life making sure that this woman knows she is worth every bit of love sent her way and shielding her from those who aren’t worthy of her love in return.
**********
We spend a couple more hours in the hospital with Don, but he stays asleep. By the time the nurses come around to let us know visiting time is over, Lacey’s eyes are closing on their own.
She asks the nurse for some paper and a pen and leaves her dad a note to let him know we’ve been there and we will be back in the morning. As we’re leaving the hospital, a thought hits me: I want to make her smile and end her day on a positive note.
“Hey, you up for a quick ride somewhere? I have something I want to show you.” She smiles up at me and nods.
I just hope she likes it.
**********
I pull up to the worksite, where the frame has been erected and is currently waiting in the setting sun.
“Cole, I thought this was supposed to be a surprise. You’ve brought me to your worksite? I’m not having sex here if that’s what you think.” She stands with her hands on her hips.
I bark out a laugh. “Sorry to disappoint, but this isn’t my main worksite. This is a side project for Peterson Construction. What do you think?”
“It’s a frame of a house. It’s great.” She gives me a very sarcastic thumbs up, and I have to bite back a smile.
“How many bedrooms do you want it to have?” I watch her closely.
“What? Why would I want to know how many bedrooms– Wait…no!” I watch as the moment unfolds, the penny dropping.
“Do you like it? Is this okay?” I start to panic when she doesn’t say anything.
“Cole Peterson, are you building us a house?” She isn’t giving anything away.
I walk over to her and place one hand on her bump, cupping her face with the other. “Not a house. I’m building us a home, Lacey. You, me and Peanut.” She plants a searing kiss on my lips, and I know I’ve made the right choice.
This is ours.
Our beginning.
Our place.
Our life.
Our happiness.