Chapter 26
Cole
As I wait at the counter for our drinks, I’m lost in thought as the events of the past few months play like a movie reel in my mind.
Sandra has been helping me sort through the mess in my head, and I’m finally in a place where I feel like I’m good enough for Lacey and the baby.
It happened suddenly. I think it’s the prospect of letting them both pass me by that I can’t do; I especially can’t leave them to the likes of Ted.
Fucking Ted.
He is another issue altogether. Just thinking about him makes my blood boil, how he treats Lacey, how he views Peanut. Something is wrong; it doesn’t add up. Why demand money from her as ‘compensation’? Why doesn’t he just leave us alone to get on with it?
“Are you going to stand there all day or what?” I startle at the stern voice behind the counter. A woman, hands on her hips, taps her foot.
I mumble an apology, grab the tray of drinks, and walk over to where Lacey is sitting.
She has her phone face down and her hands on her stomach, rubbing gentle circles as she stares off into the distance.
One of the benefits of being friends with someone for so long is that you can notice their tells and emotions.
Lacey is pretty good at trying to hide hers, but I see more than she thinks I do.
“Penny for your thoughts?” I place the tray on the table, and she doesn’t respond. Odd. I look right at her, but her eyes are downcast. “Lace, what’s wrong?”
Tears start to fall down her cheeks silently; she doesn’t move to wipe them away. She sits deathly still, rubbing her stomach, and silently cries. I’m out of my seat and kneeling next to her within a millisecond.
“Lacey, whatever it is, we can sort through it together. Just let me help you.”
She slowly moves her eyes to meet mine, and that’s when I see the utter devastation swirling around them. Her voice is so quiet when she says, “I’ve fucked up, Cole.”
She wordlessly slides her phone over to me, and I pick it up.
Reading through their exchange has me shaking with anger.
This has gone on for too long, and I won’t stand around waiting for him to make a move.
I’m by no means the fighter in our family; that title belongs to Rafe, but I sure as shit won’t lie down while this shit stain threatens my family.
I block his number and send it to my phone.
I click out of the messages, then gently place her phone down.
Standing, I grab my seat and move it over to her, then sit down.
I cup the side of her cheek, and she nuzzles her face into it before looking at me with those devastatingly beautiful baby blues of hers.
“As of now, you don’t think about him, and you don’t worry about him.
Throughout your life, you have had to be the one who takes control and fixes everything.
You haven’t had that one person to lean on every single day, and so you got used to being alone.
Sure, you had us growing up, but you never felt like you belonged anywhere, not really. ”
She starts to cry some more, but I need to get this out.
“You see, that’s all in your head, Lacey.
You had this misguided notion that you were unlovable, that everyone always left.
Part of you still thinks that, but I am not going anywhere.
No matter what is thrown at us, it is you, me and Peanut against them.
I promise you that when it gets tough, we will talk it out, and when I ultimately piss you off, I want you to tell me.
If I do something you don’t like or agree with, please tell me.
I’m not perfect. I didn’t think I’d ever be good enough for you.
I thought I was broken and unworthy of your love, but Lacey, I fucking love you so much, so much that sometimes…
s-sometimes my heart…a-aches right here… ”
I rub the middle of my chest and take a moment to breathe, the lump in my throat and the stinging behind my eyes making it difficult to carry on.
“It is you whom I have always wanted. You’re my best friend, my reason for everything, Lacey. Let me fix this for you, please?” I’m not above begging; I will get down on my hands and knees if I have to, but a moment later, she nods.
I swipe my thumbs under her eyes and take the tears away before placing a kiss on her lips. “It’s going to be okay, Lacey. You have all of us, and now your dad, too. This is just a bump in the road.”
“It’s not that I don’t want help…I do. It’s because I-I feel so ashamed, Cole.
All of this was because I had one night with the wrong person.
I don’t regret Peanut, not one bit, but I do regret who I let into our lives.
We might never be free of him.” Her voice falls to a whisper, and I gather her into my arms, holding her tight.
“We will, baby. I’ll do whatever it takes.”
**********
I had been wracking my brain to think of what I could get Lacey for the twenty-eight weeks.
I wanted it to be an aubergine-themed party, but it was getting harder and harder to think of something.
Instead, I called ahead to the spa that Marj recommended.
I dropped her off a few minutes ago and insisted to her that I wouldn’t be long.
I don’t plan on keeping her waiting much longer, so I need to be quick.
The phone rings four times before it clicks. “Hello, Cole? Is that you? Turn the music down, will you…” Don shouts at someone in the background.
“Yeah, it’s me. I just wanted to check if you’re working to schedule?”
“We are indeed. I really think you will both love it.” I can hear the smile in his voice and know I made the right decision in getting him to help me. I say goodbye and open up the group chat with my brothers.
Me
DBD texted Lacey again. Look what he sent.
Sending screenshot
Cas, I need your help with this. Can Vik work his magic? I need to know who he sent.
Cas
On it. Is she okay?
Me
Yeah, just upset. She thinks this is her fault
Arch
Well, have you told her it isn’t?
Nate
This is Cole, of course he has
Rafe
Same Cole that also didn’t tell her he loved her for a gazillion years?
Nate
Point taken. Cole, did you tell her?
Me
The lot of you make me stressed. Of course I did
Nate
Be nice to me. I’m almost done with the surprise
Arch
Surprise? I love surprises! What surprise is it?
I click out of the chat, trusting that Cas can help me with Ted-the-prick.
I’m leaving everything in the hands of others for the first time ever.
I used to live for work and the various projects I took on.
I didn’t mind working all hours. Now? Now, I can’t wait to finish and get back to Lacey.
I just hope she likes everything we have all been working on.
I put my phone in the locker provided and change into my swim shorts. It’s time to enjoy our babymoon.
I dip into the room and softly close the door behind me.
Lacey is sitting in a reclined position with her feet in a bowl.
Her eyes are closed, and I take a moment to drink in my fill.
She looks serene, and for a moment, I imagine there is no Ted and the impending doom he carries around with him. It’s only us and Peanut.
Maybe we shouldn’t go home?
“It’s rude to stare, Cole. Not to mention creepy.” Her voice is laced with amusement.
“Can’t help it. The cat’s out of the bag now, so I can stare all I like.” I move over to join her, taking a seat next to her. I look down, and my stomach turns. “Lacey!” I whisper-shout.
“Yes, Cole?” She sounds like she’s about to burst out laughing.
“Why are there fucking fish in the foot bowl?” Panic rises. I can’t have fish crawling all over me.
She cracks one eye open and side-eyes me before letting out a guffaw. “Oh, come on. Don’t tell me that in all of these years of knowing you, you were afraid of fish?”
I reel back. “I’m not afraid of fish. I just don’t want their beady little eyes and fish mouths all over me.” I shrug like it isn’t a big deal, but deep down, I start to sweat. I fucking hate fish.
“Okay. Put your feet in then. Come on, this was your idea, your surprise for me. You can’t have me doing this by myself.” She bats her eyelids at me.
Squeezing my eyes shut, I take a deep breath in and hold it before lifting my feet. My toe touches the water just as she shouts, “Stop! I was only joking! It’s sweet that you would let the little fishes near your feet, but you don’t have to!” This woman is wicked.
“You can be mean, you know that?” I try my best to give her a stern look, and she blows me a kiss. “Where would you like to go after here?”
She closes her eyes once more and lets out a soft sigh. “I don’t mind as long as I’m with you.”
I smile at her words as warmth spreads in my chest. “Well, if you’re not too tired, I have something else planned.”
**********
At fifteen, my school year and the one below me, which was Lacey’s year, had a joint residential trip planned.
Lacey and I had already planned to go. That weekend, I was going to ask her to be my girlfriend.
One of the places we would visit on the trip was Grands Fair.
The place was over a hundred years old and still had some of the original attractions, one of them being the carousel.
Lacey went on about it for weeks; it was the one thing she was looking forward to the most.
On the day of the trip, there were two coaches, one for each year group.
My Mum, Dad and brothers came to see me off, and I boarded the coach.
It was only when I had gotten to Pattington Hall, our home for the weekend, that I realised Lacey had never gotten on the coach.
Her dad had gone off on one of his benders again.