5. Sonny #2
I wait in anticipation for the little bubbles to reappear to indicate that she’s responding, but minutes pass by and they don’t.
The GPS shows that we only have about 20 minutes left for our drive.
I close Instagram and open my notes app.
Last night I couldn’t sleep and as usual when I’m up too late, song lyrics found their way to me.
I look at what I have written and it’s bare bones, just a part of the chorus and a verse so I spend some time going over it, adding things, taking things out, until I like the direction that it’s going.
***
Xavier rolls down his window and leans over to type in the code to the gate.
The wrought iron gates slowly slide open to grant us access into the community.
The weather has warmed slightly in the past few days, so the nice white snow that blanketed the ground has turned into muddy slush.
Xavier pulls into the driveway of my mom’s house and kills the engine.
I use my key to let us into the side door and almost immediately a little body flings themselves at my legs.
“Uncle Bryce!”
My nephew RJ’s arms are wrapped around my leg and he looks up at me, grinning. I reach down and pick him up and give him a big hug.
“What’s up little man?” X says. X holds out his hand and RJ gives him an enthusiastic high five.
I set RJ back down and he runs off. Xavier and I take off our shoes and leave them by the door as I head further into the house in search of my mom.
My mom stands in the kitchen, one hand on her hip the other stirring something in a pot on the stove.
“Hey ma,” I call out.
She turns and smiles when she sees me and Xavier. I walk into the kitchen and she leaves the stove to give me a hug.
She hugs Xavier too. “How’s your mama doing?”
“She’s doing good, I’ll let her know you asked about her,” Xavier replies.
Xavier leaves the kitchen and goes to sit down on the couch in the family room where RJ is playing with a train set. RJ picks up one of the trains and hands it to X to get him to play with him.
“I didn’t think you’d be here until a little later.”
“My meeting wrapped up a little early so I just decided to come now. Is that okay?”
She stops stirring the pot and turns to give me one of her ‘mom’ looks. “You have never had to ask permission to be home and you don’t need to start now.”
My mom walks to the fridge and opens it, pulling out more ingredients for whatever she’s making.
“Do you need any help?”
“Nope I got it, but thank you for asking.”
I pull out one of the barstools at the island and sit down to spend time with my mom while she cooks.
“Are Lauryn and Shannon here too or just RJ?” I ask in reference to my older sisters.
“No, but they’ll be here in a little while. RJ’s preschool was closed today so Lauryn asked me to pick him up.”
My mom places a cutting board down on the island and starts to cut some of the vegetables that she pulled from the fridge. “How are you doing? How long are you in town for?”
“A while,” I reply with a pause. “I’ve decided to come back to the city.”
“Really? That’s unexpected.”
“Yeah for me too actually,” I reply.
“What made you make that decision?”
“I don’t know, I came for a short visit a little while ago and it just felt like the right thing. It’s not that big of a deal though.”
The knife stills, breaking from the rhythmic chops that were happening just seconds before, and my mom looks up from the vegetables to me. She gives me one of those ‘mom looks’ , the one with the raised eyebrow that says so much without actually saying anything at all.
“What?”
“Nothing,” she replies nonchalantly. “I was just seeing if that’s the story you’re sticking to.”
“It’s not a big deal, I don’t want to make it more than it is.”
“Honey, you have been off in Los Angeles ever since you got that deal and started your music career. And you have never once wanted to move back home. You may not want to see it now, but it means something.”
I don’t have a response to that so instead I shift the conversation to something else for us to talk about while she cooks.
My parents were older when they had me, years after they had had both of my sisters.
So between two full fledged careers and everything that comes with taking care of three kids, to say they were busy was an understatement.
But a time that I always valued with my mom was when she was cooking.
Usually my sisters were out doing an extracurricular activity or with their friends or when I got a little older, away at college.
So this was time that I got to spend with just me and my mom.
A while later my sisters Lauryn and Shannon walk in through the front door carrying grocery bags. I stand to greet them and take the bags from their hands.
“B! I’m so happy you’re home,” Lauryn says, wrapping me in a tight hug.
Lauryn and Shannon have been mistaken for twins for forever even though they are almost two years apart. They both take after our mother, sharing the same umber skin tone and almond eyes while I looked more like our dad.
“It’s good to see you too sis.”
We all walk together to the kitchen and I set the bags down on the counter.
“Hey girls,” Mom says, giving them both kisses on the cheek when they enter the kitchen.
“The store was out of the croutons that you wanted, but we got everything else that you asked for,” Shannon says as she starts taking things out of the grocery bags.
“That’s okay, the salad will be just fine without them. Where’s my son in law, I thought he was coming with you?”
“Ryan was called in for surgery,” Lauryn says.
“Okay, I’ll make sure to send you home with some food for him.”
My mom sets two baking dishes down in front of me, one with lasagna and the other with garlic bread, my favorite meal.
“Set these on the table please. I just have to make something for RJ to eat.”
I do as my mom asked while she goes into her pantry and comes back with a cup of microwave mac and cheese. She adds water to it and puts it in the microwave to cook.
“Wow, Ma you’re going soft on me,” I say, jokingly “We didn’t get any special meals. What happened to having to eat what you put on our plate?”
“You only had to eat things you didn’t like that one time and I never made them for you again. Don’t exaggerate.”
The microwave beeps and she takes the cup out and stirs in the powdered cheese that it came with.
“And me and your father didn’t do everything a hundred percent right all the time. You just have to do your best and hope your kids turn out okay.”
There’s a sadness that comes over her voice when she talks about my dad, evidence of the hurt and grief that still fills her body. I step closer and wrap my arm around her shoulders.
“Y’all did great. Even if I am still haunted by peas.”
She chuckles and elbows me in the side. “Go wash your hands so we can eat.”
I wash my hands in the powder bathroom right off the kitchen. As I walk back I take out my phone just to make sure I haven’t missed any important messages. A smile comes to my face when I see the one at the very top.
withlove.laila
at work. i’ve been doing a photoshoot all day so no time for stalking (: