Chapter 11
11
TROPHY
Lance woke up the next morning, stretching and yawning where he’d slept like a log on the sofa at Stephanie’s place. Would he have rather rested snuggled up at her side? Sure, but at least he was here. That was what mattered. She showed up unexpectedly, greeted him at the airport, and opened her home to him. There was a bond there, no matter how slight, and today, he planned on working to make it stronger.
He wanted to get to know her – her likes and dislikes, take her out to eat, shop for the baby, and talk about what the future might look like between them. He didn’t want there to be any questions, any hesitations, and needed to find a way to communicate where he didn’t make her upset or defensive. If she had her mental shields up – and he had his – then neither was going to get anywhere quickly and he flew out late tomorrow evening.
Yeah, he was on a time crunch.
Tossing back the coverlet, he stood up and stretched again, scratching his tummy and nearly purring in contentment only to get slapped with his T-shirt from last night right in the abdomen.
“Put some clothes on,” Stephanie grumbled, walking right past him.
“I’m decent.”
“Barely,” she retorted, disappearing in the kitchen.
“Hey, I’ve got my butt covered and my junk. I did that for you, ya’ know. Normally, I sleep in my underwear. The only thing exposed to your eyes is my chest. Now I believe in equality, princess, so if you wanna…”
“Would you hush? It is too early for your mouth or line of thinking,” she said peevishly from a distance, obviously starting the coffee maker.
Lance grinned.
He was growing on her. She didn’t tell him to shut up this morning like she did last night – and she was looking at him, his body, and commented on it. His running shorts that said ‘Navy’ across one thigh were perfectly decent. He exercised in them all the time, and they were comfy. It could have been so much worse, and she had to have realized that.
Maybe she was uncomfortable with looking at him? Perhaps she was remembering their wedding night?
“You know, princess…”
“Don’t call me that.”
“If you liked what you saw…”
“I didn’t.”
“I think you did.”
“I wasn’t looking. ”
“I’d be more than happy to give you a repeat performance.”
He heard something slam down as she muttered something under her breath. He held his breath, waiting to see if she was going to blow up, cry, or say some smart remark to him so he knew what the ‘tone’ today would look like and could plan accordingly.
“Stephanie? Did you hear me? If you want a…”
“Not right now.”
His eyes widened as a wide grin spread across his face. Oh hello! That was very encouraging, he thought happily. She was considering spending some time under the covers with him again and came around the corner to see her bloodless face as she leaned against the counter.
“I’ve gotta sit down,” she whispered and started to slide to the floor, making him spring forward in alarm. He caught her as she lolled weakly in his arms, scaring the bejesus out of him.
“Steph… Stephanie?” he uttered, panicking, patting her cheek as she made a noise, slipping into unconsciousness as her eyes rolled back. Setting her down on the floor, he dialed 9-1-1.
This was not how he anticipated starting their Saturday.
Less than an hour later, Stephanie was madder than a hornet in the emergency room, and he felt like a fool. Seeing her lying there on the floor had terrified him. When she came to in the ambulance, it became increasingly clear how little they knew about each other as the EMT and paramedic checking her out exchanged a look when he couldn’t answer any questions about her.
“What’s your wife’s date of birth?”
“Huh?”
“How old is your wife?”
“Legal, if that is what you are asking…”
“I’m not, but let’s move on. You said she’s pregnant?”
“Yes.”
“What was the date of her last cycle?”
“Her cycle?”
“Yes, her cycle. When was her last menses? Her period? When was the baby made? Sir, you are giving me a blank look.”
“She’s three months along – close to it.”
“Now we’re getting somewhere. Who’s her physician?”
“I don’t know.”
“Any family history of heart problems, stroke, fainting, any prior pregnancies? Hello?”
“Hang on! I’m thinking,” Lance snapped as Stephanie’s eyes fluttered. He immediately grabbed her hand. “Princess, are you okay? What happened?”
“Mrs. Cavanaugh, how are you feeling?” the EMT interrupted, flashing a light in Stephanie’s eyes – as she turned toward Lance quickly.
“Seriously? You called 9-1-1?”
“You passed out!”
“I’m anemic and just got over the flu a week ago. There’s a reason I feel and look like crap when I picked you up yesterday. I’ve been put through the wringer and pregnant to boot. Do you know what it’s like to be out of breath, have something growing inside of you, and be sicker than a dog?” she lashed out in disbelief. “I stand up too fast, I get light-headed. I take too hot of a shower, I get woozy. I’m a fainter, okay? I recognize the signs, and I faint, Lance. It’s normal.”
“It’s not normal to me.”
“You should probably have someone check you,” the EMT suggested, obviously trying not to get involved with whatever was going on behind the scenes. To him, it probably just looked like ‘trouble in paradise’ – but to Lance it was glaringly obvious the differences between them.
As they got to the hospital, Stephanie was checked in and they drew the curtain closed, moving to fetch a doctor. Lance spoke up, needing to clear the air.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered during this moment of privacy. “I was really scared.”
“I know,” she replied – and held out her hand to him. “I shouldn’t have gotten upset; it’s just ambulances and ER visits are so expensive – and this happens. I recognize the symptoms, the spinning, the muffled hearing, and usually sit down or lie down before it’s overwhelming.”
“How many times have you passed out? Is it your heart or…”
“Lance, I’ve passed out about six times in my life, and anemia runs in my family. It’s normal.”
He nodded nervously, grateful she was holding his hand.
“Should I call your mom, your dad, or someone?”
“My Dad remarried a woman half his age after my mother died and moved to California. We’re not close anymore.”
“Oh. I’m so sorry.”
“It’s fine – and it was a while ago.”
“What did your mother die from?”
“Heart failure,” she admitted, and there was something in her tone that made him hesitate. “From chronic anemia…”
Lance cursed under his breath, clenching her hand in his.
“Which is why I am very careful and get checked regularly,” she assured him quietly. “I don’t have leukemia, sickle cell, or anything else. I just have a tough time keeping my iron levels up – so I take iron, drink orange juice, eat spinach, and red meat as much as I can afford. I haven’t had to have an infusion or anything like that. I promise I’m very careful – especially now.”
“Anything else I should know?” he asked hoarsely, staring at her and obviously worried. The baby would cause a demand on her body, and while he wasn’t a doctor, he imagined it would affect things for her.
“I’m A positive,” she smiled gently, squeezing his hand and trying to lighten the mood. “And a little grumpy in the mornings. Coffee helps a lot.”
“My blood type is coffee,” he joked tenderly, leaning forward to drop a kiss on her cheek like it was nothing between them. He expected her to pull back, to tell him once again that they weren’t married, but instead, she angled her cheek toward him.
“I promise I’m okay,” she whispered as he caressed her cheek with his own, nodding. “The baby is okay too. My doctor is aware, and they poke me with a needle almost every visit.”
“Good,” he smirked, kissing her cheek again to take the sting out of his words. “How about a big, nasty T-bone steak for dinner, my princess.”
“Honestly, that sounds amazing.”
“Then it’s a date. You just rest and let them check you out, okay? No more getting upset that I want to make sure you can stick around for a long time. It’s kinda nice to have my very own person to annoy.”
And her eyes met his as he leaned back to take a seat beside the hospital bed. He could see the glimmer of moisture in those gorgeous eyes, the fear, the doubts, and that flicker of hope, too. She looked vulnerable and if her guard was down, he sure didn’t want to be the cause of her hiking those walls up once again.
A few hours later, against Stephanie’s protests, they went back to her apartment. He had wanted to take her shopping, to pick out baby items and talk with her, but the need for rest outshone any of that. They could always go do that on his next visit, but today, he wanted it to be simplified. He wanted to talk, hang out, and feed her things that would be good for the baby, and then talk some more.
Walking up to the apartment, she looked extremely embarrassed about what had happened, and he wanted to put her at ease.
“Just so you know,” he drawled, knowing he sounded macho and like a braggart. “Your man is the best.”
“Well, okay then,” she scoffed, looking at him with disbelief. Yeah, it was a pretty arrogant thing for him to announce, but he was breaking the ice with everything he had in him.
“You doubt it?”
“You’ll have to forgive me, but yes…”
“Well, let me correct that assumption,” he continued in a lofty, arrogant tone and heard her chuckle of amusement. Bingo , he thought, that’s what I wanna hear. “See, I’m trying to be humble about it…”
“Mercy – are you sure about that, Lance?” she interrupted, laughing now and looking at him in disbelief as he walked her over to the couch before handing her the laptop that he’d seen on the side table.
“Hear me out because your man is smarter than you think.”
“Oh, this should be good,” she muttered as he sat down beside her on the sofa – and then reached for her feet. “What are you doing?”
“Giving you a foot rub.”
“I’m good.”
“Me too.”
“You don’t have to do that.”
“Am I hurting you?”
“No…”
“Then let me do this while I tell you why I’m amazing. I need to focus, and this keeps me distracted. By the way, you have cute little piggy toes. I hope the baby gets your feet because I’ve got bony, ugly ones with all those angular tendons and,” Lance grinned as she cracked up laughing at his explanation before continuing. “And you sound like you don’t believe me?” He kicked off his shoes in a mock threat – causing her to laugh harder as she smiled at him. “Don’t make me pull my socks off, woman…”
“You’re something,” she choked out a moment later, chuckling.
He found himself treasuring the sparkle in her eyes, realizing that maybe Orion was right about trying to make a ‘go’ of this relationship. What would it be like to be around someone so sweet and amazing like her for life?
“As I was trying to explain before you started laughing at me,” he scoffed proudly and lifted an eyebrow at her in a silent challenge. “I’m amazing, and a lesser man would have been offended by all the girlish giggling – but not me.”
“Not you, huh?”
“Nope. I’m a true man – and do you know what makes a real man?”
“I’m sure you’ll tell me…”
“I will, in fact,” he paused for drama, knowing he was about to unleash some egotistical barf on the best person in the world and hoped she laughed. “Well, you see, God is pretty smart when it comes to people.”
“Oh, ya’ think?”
“See, we are pretty much built the same but with a few key differences – by the way, I dream of your ‘differences,’ and they are almost as amazing as I am.”
“Whoa boy… and here we go,” Stephanie chuckled as he shushed her loudly, grinning.
“Every male has got his junk, built to procreate…”
“And now you are talking about what’s in your pants – again…” she sighed.
“But you’ve gotta be smart about it,” he countered, holding up a finger as if to stress his point.
“Oh, do tell.”
“I will – are you going to keep interrupting me?”
“Probably,” Stephanie chuckled, and he winked at her knowingly. This was so nice just to sit on the couch and flirt with his wife. I’m never going to forget this, he thought tenderly ; that laugh of hers drives me crazy. “Go ahead and brag about your magical junk, o’ dear husband of mine.”
“FINALLLLLY,” he retorted with a dramatic sigh that had her laughing again. “I’ve been trying to tell you it’s magical and that we are married – and I think you are finally starting to listen to me!”
She was wiping her eyes, smiling at him as he continued.
“A real man knows his masculinity but embraces his femininity – see, we are basically lesbians trapped in a man’s body…”
“WHAT?!” she barked out, laughing wildly at him – and he bent down to kiss the tip of her toe on the foot he was rubbing in his lap.
“Shhhh,” he chuckled. “I love girls of all shapes and sizes, the wild ones, the demure ones, big boobs, small boobs, a little ‘ba-dunk-a-dunk’, or an empty ‘trunk’… they are all beautiful to me. I love perfume, painted nails, the clothes, the shoes. I crave a bubble bath when I am home and can soak for a while unbothered – by the way, we have showers on board, and there is little privacy. The guys would make fun of my bubbles and rubber ducky.”
Stephanie was staring at him, her eyes dancing as she listened to his insane reasoning with fascination.
“But when you have a real man, it’s not about just what’s in his pants…”
Her lips parted in mock surprise as she laid a hand on her chest.
“I know!” he protested, teasing her. “I’m as surprised as you are!”
“Say it isn’t so…”
“See, a real man worships the heart, mind, and soul of a woman,” he began and heard her intake of breath as he focused on rubbing her foot, just so he was brave enough to say what was in his head. “A real man wants someone who he can talk to, someone who clicks with him on a deeper level. You gotta read the woman. Sometimes, a female wants to be cuddled, and other times, she wants to be pinned against a wall and told that she’s a good girl – it’s all about balance, princess. It’s not just about procreation because that happens whether we choose it or not when you aren’t careful.”
“Point taken,” she said, pointing at her stomach – and he looked up at her.
“A real man pays attention to what his partner wants while trying to anticipate her needs. It’s not about his junk anymore or rearranging her insides, but those feelings transform into something beautiful. He learns to appreciate someone for the first time,” he said quietly, holding her eyes. “Like I know a guy, a close friend of mine, who’s scared that he’s not enough for his wife - or he’ll make a huge mistake, because there’s something different about the two of them when they are together.”
Stephanie sucked in her breath as her eyes glistened.
“Now, he’s still a guy,” he joked, trying to lighten the mood and rolled his eyes. “And the ‘power-of-his-pants’ compels him to do stupid things, but… for the first time, he’s trying to let his guard drop and hoping for more than just a fun romp with this woman. See, this guy isn’t in love with her, but he does care enough to let this special girl into his world, to let her see all of the flaws in him.”
“Are we still talking about some mysterious guy?”
“No,” he admitted quietly, not looking away. “I think you are incredible, and I care about you a lot, but I know we’ve got a long way to go. We’ve got a baby on the way – our own little miracle. There are going to be things we won’t agree on, but there is no one I would rather irritate or piss off than you, Stephanie – and I mean it in the best way possible.”
He saw something crumble in her expression and felt his heart clench in his chest. Yeah, it wasn’t love, but this woman was closer than anyone else in the universe. He had never dreamed of giving up alcohol, women, or anything else and now he was thinking of getting an apartment, looking at neighborhoods, and wanting to learn more about what they could expect when their child arrived.
“Really?” that hoarse, tearful, vulnerable single word did a number on him as he nodded, unable to speak, and saw a tear roll down her cheek.
“Come here,” he breathed, moving her foot and scooting closer, drawing her into his arms and hugging her tightly. Kissing the top of her head, he pressed his cheek against her hair as he held her in a simple embrace. “I’m gonna screw up so many times and make you mad, but I swear that I’m all in for this wild ride we are going to take together.”
“I’m so scared to be alone in this,” she whispered tearfully. “It’s so overwhelming, and my body feels like it’s doing its own thing. There’s daycare to deal with, finding a pediatrician, going to the appointments, dreading that they are going to tell me something awful, news that will break me mentally, and…”
“What if you weren’t alone?” he breathed against her hair, still hugging her. “I put us on the list for base housing, but it’s a long wait. We could look at getting a nice apartment, and I’ve already looked at a few…”
“Wait,” she began, sitting up and looking at him. “What makes you think that I’m moving to wherever you are?”
“Mayport, Florida – and why wouldn’t you? I’m there.”
“Oh yes, the mighty man ,” she retorted sarcastically. “I completely forgot… that I’m supposed to give up everything because you knocked me up.”
“Well, I guess we’re just gonna argue – aren’t we?” he clipped back just as sarcastically, stunned at how fast this was turning around so suddenly. “It took both of us, several times, I might add, to ‘knock you up,’ as you so eloquently put it. Is your family here – cause mine sure isn’t.”
“You already know better.”
“Exactly. How are you going to manage the baby alone? Tell me those two tramps from the bar are not going to be your backup system – are they?”
“No. Of course not.”
“Well, thank goodness for that, so what is your plan to manage the baby?”
“Single moms work all the time and…”
“You’re not single!” he snapped. “You’re my wife.”
“Not according to the state.”
“Oh my gosh… seriously? This again? Gimme a chance to fix it, will you?”
“Fine,” Stephanie said stubbornly. “You magically fix it, and I will magically consider what you are saying.”
“You’re gonna eat those words, princess…”
“Num, num. I can’t wait to prove that you can’t macho your way around everything.”
“Is that what you think I’m doing?”
“Aren’t you?”
They both glared at each other, and Lance realized at that moment that he was fighting a losing battle. If he actually got her to move to Florida to be closer to him so he could be involved with the baby, it would be on her terms, or she would resent him.
Stephanie hadn’t been a pushover from the very beginning but rather stating plainly what she wanted and maybe that was why she was so staunchly upset, repeatedly saying they weren’t married. She felt that way, and it was the one thing she’d insisted on.
“So if I get the marriage license issue corrected, we’ll talk about what our future looks like?” he said quietly .
“Yeah, we can talk then,” she replied stubbornly.
Both of them were still sitting there, crossing their arms at each other, and he sighed. Dang, she could really be prickly, and it was incredibly attractive. Hot, actually. If they were on better terms, he’d be dragging her into the bedroom right now to have his wicked way with her again.
“Can I ask a simple question?”
“Sure – as long as it doesn’t circle around back to your trousers.”
“What is keeping you here?”
That question hung in the air between them, and he saw the surprise on Stephanie’s face. Obviously, she never expected him to ask the question, nor did she have an answer ready. Her lips parted, and she clamped them shut not two seconds later, only to look at him tightly.
“My job.”
“And you couldn’t find a bank teller position in another part of the country so I could be a part of my child’s life?” he asked simply. “I don’t mean to be a jerk and press the matter, but I’m just confused. I want to help, to be involved, to be a part of the process, and I can’t come here, or I would. I’m signed on for a few more years, and if I left, they would hunt me down for deserting. The carrier will never come up the Mississippi River so I could work, so even if I changed bases – you are still in the middle of the country, and I have to be near a navy base.”
She sat there silently, and he couldn’t tell if he was winning the argument or even reaching her, but he pushed on regardless.
“I’m not asking for an answer right now because if you chose to be closer, to give us a chance, then I would want you to be a part of picking our home together. I don’t want you to be miserable or give up everything, Stephanie. I want to give you a hand; provide you with a partner in all of this. All I’m asking is to consider the changes.”
“Like the changes I’m already dealing with?” she said quietly.
“If you need to blame me, go ahead,” he replied. “But we were both there, chose to marry to indulge in those beautiful moments we created together, and I can assure you that it wasn’t just me – but I’m also done arguing.”
“Backing down so soon?”
“No. I’m choosing my battles. See, I would prefer to look for baby things with you online, shopping from the couch, instead of arguing during the short time that I am here. My biggest beef should be, ‘ do you want the oak crib or the whitewashed wood? ’ – it’s not with you . It has never been with you. I like you despite all the ‘tude you are giving me for trying to be a decent guy.”
They sat there, and he kept waiting for her to let down her guard, say something, make a comment, anything at all. Finally, he uncrossed his arms and reached over, uncrossing her arms and taking her hand in his, lacing their fingers together almost in an exaggerated fashion.
“We’re partners in this, so let’s at least try… please?”
“What’s wrong with cherry wood?”
The question was so far out of leftfield that it took him a second before he realized she was talking about the baby bed. He leaned forward and tapped on the laptop pointedly.
“Can you show me? Did you have something in mind?”
Suddenly, her form seemed to soften as she looked at him questioningly – and opened the laptop. He released her hand and scooted closer so he could see the baby beds… and smiled. Yup, it had to be her idea because when she got backed into a corner, she came out swinging. She would be a protective mama bear when it came to their little cub. He loved that thought and adjusted his seat slightly at his body’s reaction.
She needed ‘thoughtful’ and ‘safe’… not ‘rearing to go’ and ‘playful.’
“Princess,” he said gently as her fingers moved across the keyboard – and paused as she looked at him. “I know this is a lot. It’s not what either of us planned, and it wasn’t your choice to have a baby with me, but I’m really grateful that I met you.”
She looked at him, her face a mix of emotions, and shocked him to the core as she then leaned forward to drop the softest kiss on his lips before backing away. The urge to lean forward, to make her kiss him again, was so powerful that it took everything in him to remain where he was as her eyes held his.
“Thank you for saying that,” she whispered thickly. “If I was going to have an unplanned pregnancy with anyone – I’m glad it’s with you. Just give me time to adjust to all of this.”
“Take all the time you need, my princess.”