Chapter 15
15
STEPHANIE
Sitting at the table of the restaurant, Stephanie listened to Natalie and Lila talk about how wonderful their weekend in Nashville was. She sat there politely, sipping on her unsweet tea, and was avidly looking for their waiter to take their orders because she was starving.
Glancing at her watch, she hesitated because it was getting close to eight in the evening. The last thing she wanted to do was bring up a costly dinner, so she insisted on meeting the women here – after Stephanie hugged the toilet at her usual time.
“So are you coming with us to Chicago?”
“Or bailing on us again. You missed out on so much fun last weekend.”
“Actually,” Stephanie began, feeling a wave of nervousness churn in her stomach right before she felt that faint tell-t ale flutter below. Peanut was saying hello, and she smiled silently, laying a hand on her stomach. “I’ve got a few changes coming up.”
“Like what?”
“Well, with the baby coming and so much to plan or do, I’ve decided to slow down everything. What I mean by that is I want to put my child and myself first – and going to Chicago doesn’t benefit or help the baby, you know?”
“No, I don’t know,” Lila chuckled. “You could shop for baby clothes.”
“Don’t be evasive,” Natalie began, looking at the other woman. “What’s going on that you feel like you need to slow down?”
“Well,” Stephanie began again, taking a deep breath and looking at them both. “I’m considering moving, so I might need to pack.”
“What?!” both women exclaimed in shock.
“This weekend was actually strangely beautiful in so many weird ways. Lance flew in, and we just spent so much time talking, being with each other, and…” she paused, sorting her thoughts and feelings, before looking at her friends. “I think I want to grab that sort of happiness and hang onto it. He wants to be involved with the baby – and I want him to be, too.”
“He can pay child support.”
“Lila!”
“What? I’m sorry. I’m bitter because none of this is your fault or fair. I mean, you had a good time – it’s his fault for not wearing protection,” Lila hissed in obvious anger. “You are doing him a favor by having the baby and it shouldn’t turn your whole life around for him. What kind of sick, macho, pigheaded man…”
“Whoa,” Stephanie interrupted, reeling in shock at the fr ustration and anger in her friend. Lila was always smiling, always reaching out to see how she was doing, making sure she was included. Lila had been her first friend when she got the job at the bank after her father took off, but the woman had her secrets and refused to talk about her past. Obviously, she was hurt from a previous relationship that resulted in divorce, but was something else going on?
“Lila, hang on a minute because while Lance mentioned it, he isn’t pushing me into anything. In fact, I haven't even told him that I was actually going to move. We’re discussing things together and planning for our future, our baby’s future,” Stephanie stressed, touching the other woman’s hand and seeing the tears in her eyes. “I love you both so much, and you’ve always been there for me, but how can I tell the father of my child that he’s not welcome to be a part of the baby’s life… when I want him to be there?”
“We can help you,” Natalie volunteered quickly – only to see Lila shake her head mutinously, still crying.
“I can’t,” Lila whispered, obviously shocking both of them. “It’s too much, too hard on me, and…” her voice faded as the waiter came up to take their order. As each of them ordered, she could see that something was still wrong. Stephanie reached over to touch her friend’s hand as Lila nodded, her eyes glassy.
“I’m okay.”
“Are you sure? Do you want to talk about it?”
“I probably should talk to somebody, but I’m not ready yet.”
“When you are, say the word, and I’m here for you.”
“Thank you,” Lila whispered, looking at the two of them. “I don’t mean to be negative or nasty about things. I’m glad y ou are happy and going after your dreams, but I’m going to miss you if you move away.”
“You could always come visit,” Stephanie said nervously
“It sounds like you’ve already made up your mind,” Lila retorted in a hurt voice, looking at her.
“I think she has,” Natalie agreed, smiling and nodding at her. “You seem happier than ever, and at peace, you know? Pregnancy agrees with you – even if it wasn’t intended. Can’t exactly call it an ‘accident’ when we all know how babies get made.”
“You know, I felt the baby move yesterday evening for the first time, and it felt real,” Stephanie whispered thickly. “A part of me kept thinking that this was some sick joke, a bad dream, or that I was misinterpreting everything that had happened. I’ve been on a few dates where I completely misunderstood the ‘vibe’ between us – and I guess I assumed that was the case once again,” her voice trailed off as she looked at them with amazement and joy. “I don’t think that is the case with Lance anymore. He’s so funny, so focused on us making this work, that he’s being so sweet in the littlest ways that mean so much to me.”
“Honey,” Natalie smiled softly. “That’s what love is supposed to be like.”
“Oh, I don’t think he loves me,” she chuckled softly with a pained awareness. “We’ve talked about it, and we genuinely like each other – but he’s not in love with me.”
“But you’re in love with him,” Natalie guessed, and Lila groaned, rubbing her forehead.
“He’s not in love with you, told you that, and you are still moving?”
“I know it sounds crazy,” Stephanie began again, nodding to the waiter as they delivered their plates. She was gratef ul for the interruption and ready to inhale her steak at this point. The last thing she needed to have happen was for her to get ‘Hangry’ and end up saying something she would regret. “I think he really cares but is afraid to say the words.”
“Ever think that maybe he doesn’t know the words?”
“I thought of that,” Stephanie admitted quietly, looking at her food and cutting into her dinner. “I really did, but you didn’t see him when he was here with me.”
“He probably wanted to sleep with you again. I had a boyfriend like that, you know. Natalie did, too. Sometimes a guy will say or do anything to get his way – and when he’s done? Poof! Gone until the next time he wants a piece of…”
“Lila,” Stephanie interrupted, hushing the woman because her voice was getting more upset and starting to get louder. “That’s not the case because we didn’t sleep together this weekend. It was all about getting to know each other, and I’m not changing my mind.”
Lila looked at her, something broken in her gaze, as she nodded.
“You know I’m going to come visit you,” Lila warned, and Stephanie felt a burst of happiness within her at their understanding and acceptance of her decision. “If you aren’t oozing rainbows and sunshine outta your butt, I’m dragging you back here so fast the Derby will be calling me for the next race. Am I clear?”
“I would love for you both to come visit me when things get settled.”
“Count on it,” Lila said firmly and then pointed at Stephanie’s plate with her knife, a faint smile touching the corner of her lips. “Now, I want to see that entire steak gone, little Mama.”
“I’m trying to be polite and not ‘woof’ it down,” she laughe d, smiling sheepishly at them. “I’d like to taste the thing.”
“Tasting is overrated,” Natalie chimed in.
“Ain’t no shame in the ‘woofing’ game when you are expecting. Eating for two means you can go two times as fast, and nobody will judge you,” Lila offered, smirking.
“Oh, maannn,” she groaned, salivating as she stabbed a large bite. “Y’all have no idea how glad that makes me right now. When the waiter comes back, if my mouth is full, someone order me the praline cheesecake.”
“You got it.”
The three women held up their forks, tapping them in a mock toast, before attacking their meals and chatting about the future, timelines, and discussing the upcoming trip to Chicago – without Stephanie.
Almost two hours later, Stephanie was walking into her apartment carrying her half-eaten cheesecake when she heard her phone ding.
You can’t break up with me because we’re married.
(I hope you are okay – I’m starting to worry)
Chuckling, she called Lance immediately. He answered on the first ring, and she heard that warm laugh that was simply him. He might have been playing with her, but there was also a hidden element of vulnerability to his words, too. No one would ever understand their relationship looking from the outside in, but they didn’t have to – and she unders tood that now. The only thing that mattered was how she felt toward him and vice versa.
“I’m not breaking up with you,” she smiled. “I was walking in the door, and dinner took a while.”
“Was it good?”
“Delicious.”
“Is Peanut happy?”
“She’s ecstatic… and demanded praline cheesecake for dessert.”
“My boy’s got good taste.”
“Anyone ever tell you that you’re hardheaded?”
“All the time, princess. All the freakin’ time,” he replied, and she could feel the smile in his words, nearly sighing with indescribable joy. “So, what are you wearing?”
And heard laughter behind him in the distance as Lance suddenly said, “Shut up, guys – it’s my wife, and I really wanna know.” Stephanie was grinning at the taunts behind him as well as the exclamations from her husband in protest.
“Privacy! Curtain’s shut - you know the rules! Sorry, princess, I’m surrounded by a bunch of horny single men who have nothing better to do. Dang it, Tic-Tak – quit it!” Lance snarled angrily, and she heard a scuffle of noise followed by wild laughter as he picked back up the phone. “Forget it,” he grumbled sullenly. “There is literally no privacy here, and I’m walking up to the flight deck, laundry, or anywhere else to get five minutes alone.”
“Should we talk about maybe fixing the privacy issue?” she said softly, dropping the hint.
“Huh, well, privacy is kind of hard to come by on a ship. I’d have to… OHHHH,” he said suddenly and then let out a little chuckle that shot straight into her heart. “Are you saying what I think you are saying? ”
“I’m saying that maybe you should go look at the apartment in person, and perhaps, we need to talk about what our future would look like.”
“What brought on this good news – not that I’m complaining,” he added quickly. He sounded so surprised, excited, and humbled – which was flattering. “I can go look at the place tomorrow and text you some photos or call you from there.”
“That sounds perfect.”
“Can I ask a question?”
“You are probably going to anyway,” she teased and heard his laugh once more, smiling at the sound of it.
“Yeah – I am,” he admitted and then spoke quietly. “Do you have a minute to Facetime? I’m up near the flight deck, and while there isn’t a lot of privacy, I do get reception.”
“Sure.”
A moment later, her phone warbled, and she clicked approve. Lance’s face appeared a second later. He looked like he was standing or leaning against a gray metal wall with arrows stenciled on it behind him, but it wasn’t the background she was focusing on. It was him. There was such a tenderness in his eyes and a welcome smile that was there just for her – and she knew it.
“You sure look beautiful, princess,” he whispered softly. “I missed those eyes and that smile.”
“Flirt,” she joked, wiping her eyes and laughing tearfully.
“Absolutely. It’s how we got in this spot – wife .”
“So, what was this mysterious question… husband ?” she taunted, watching as his smile got a little wider and the expression on his face grew possessive and warm.
“First – let it be known that I really like you calling me ‘husband,’” he joked and then got quiet, looking around him a mome nt later as he began to whisper. “Second and most importantly – what brought on this sudden change that you are now considering coming here? Did something happen?”
“Yes,” she began, and he interrupted before she could get another word out.
“Are you okay? What happened? Who bothered you? I’ll handle it. Don’t you worry about a thing if someone…”
“Lance!” she hissed, smiling at how protective he suddenly got. “Let me finish, please?”
“Proceed.”
“Well, thank you, your majesty,” she retorted and winked at him, just like he did to her several times. He looked pleased as punch at the slight movement, even though she felt so stupid doing it. “As I was saying before, I was so rudely interrupted…”
“Gonna do it again if you don’t hurry, woman,” he added, speaking over her deliberately, his eyes sparkling as he smirked at her – and she ignored his words.
“That something did change – me,” she began, her heart beating wildly in her chest as she started to get teary-eyed. “I felt our baby move, Lance… and it was like something clicked in my head.”
“You felt… the baby?” he whispered thickly, and she choked out a tearful laugh as she nodded, beaming at him.
“It was right after you left to get on the plane like he or she could tell that Daddy was leaving and wanted to wave ‘bye’…” she wept, reaching for a tissue. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to cry.”
“Heck, I might,” he volunteered, yanking up his shirt collar to wipe the corner of his eye.
“And I realized that I wanted to grab and fight for happiness. Not just mine, but our child’s,” she admitted tearfully, not looking away from him. “So much has change d, and it feels like it’s for the better – you know? I never imagined getting pregnant or married, but I’m so happy to have both things in my life, and I want to hang onto them plus discover my next bit of happiness. Does that make any sense?”
“It sounds like you might miss me, princess.”
His voice was so tender and warm. The playful smirk was gone and there was a humble yearning in his tone that matched the hope in his eyes. It was almost like this was his way of asking if she loved him.
“Maybe you miss me as much as I miss you?” he added in the softest, most hesitant voice as he held her eyes.
“I do miss you,” she admitted emotionally. “More than I ever imagined.”
“I miss you too,” he confessed hoarsely before he glanced up and looked back at her. “And now I’ve got company. Let’s fix that privacy issue soon, huh?”
“Very soon, in fact; why don’t you see what date they have to move in while you are there – just in case,” she nodded, smiling as she wiped her eyes.
“Guess I’ll take my checkbook in case I need to put down a deposit.”
“I guess so, husband.”
And to her surprise, Lance let out a heavy sigh of happiness.
“Can you say that again?”
“What? That I miss my husband terribly and can’t wait to see him soon?”
“That’s perfect, princess,” he chuckled softly, smiling at her – before he leaned forward to make a kissy face. That sweet movement was almost too much for her, and just as she started to do the same, she saw Lance roll his eyes as he cursed fluidly. Not two seconds later, there were three butts that appeared on the screen, rubbing against his head, as Lance struggled to get away from them frantically.
“DANG IT GUYS! GET OFF OF MEEEEE!” he yelped angrily – and Stephanie laughed so hard she thought she was going to pee in her pants at the scene before her. The screen of the phone was jumping. Lance was flailing, she had no idea who was doing that to him, until a second later someone obviously took the phone from him. She could hear Lance hollering, even more irate now. “GIMME BACK MY PHONE, TIC-TAK! GUYS, GET OFF OF ME AND GO TAKE A FLYIN’ LEAP, WILL YA?”
Three smiling faces, all shoving each other to be seen, appeared on the screen, waving, and she recognized them from New York City. They had been drinking at the bar where she met Lance.
“Hey-a, Mrs. Trophy! Nice to see you again. When you get tired of this loser, feel free to look up a… OH CRAP!” one of them exclaimed wildly before the phone clattered to the ground, giving her a view of girders and metal above. She heard several curse words, a few men laughing, and Lance yelling something before he picked up the cell phone one more.
She couldn’t help the smile on her face as she saw his perfect hair was all mussed up from the guys having some fun with him – as he had this grumbly, angry look on his face.
“I’m going to whip those same backsides that just… ugh,” he shivered bodily and grimaced. “Now I owe Memphis and Orion an apology.”
Stephanie laughed.
“Tell me you didn’t do that to Memphis and Orion?”
“Uh yeah, of course, I did,” he retorted, grinning, before he winked at her. “We’ve got a thing in our squadron when someon e gets married or finds out they are going to be a daddy, we kind of… well, ‘rough’ them up playfully. Some of the guys called it the ‘ bump and grind party ’ – but I call it ‘playing’ because ‘bump and grind’ sounds like our Friday night, princess… and that is not something I want to be associating with a bunch of my buddies.”
“Ha!” she exclaimed. “One night does not give us a nickname.”
“We’re gonna fix all of that sooner rather than later,” he smiled, and Stephanie rolled her eyes, refusing to comment as curiosity got to her.
“What did they do when you told them about our Peanut?”
“I’m actually about to go take my licks with the boys,” he grinned proudly. “I haven’t gotten a chance to because of the duty roster, the law office, and get a few things handled to get my wife out here by my side.”
“Uh-huh,” she drawled skeptically. “Keeping us your dirty secret?”
“Heck no! I’m proud that you can put up with me.”
“It is a skill that deserves a shining tribute.”
“No kidding – you get a gold star, princess. Gold star!”
And then she yawned uncontrollably, and he smiled in response.
“Go get some rest and tell my Peanut ‘hello’ for me,” he insisted. “I will text you some photos tomorrow before I call so that we can talk.”
“That sounds wonderful.”
“Sweet dreams, princess.”
“You too… husband.”
He looked around nervously and blew her a kiss again, making her smile in awareness as she happily did the same.
Hanging up the phone, she got up from the couch and padded barefoot back to her bedroom. Changing into her nightgown, she went to brush her teeth in the bathroom, only to hear a ding from her phone as she finished, spitting in the sink. Rinsing her mouth, she heard two other dings and turned worriedly, spitting once more and then rinsing the basin. Walking back to her room, she picked up her phone and burst out laughing.
See?
Super proud of my wife and my baby, Peanut!
And attached were several photos of him being practically attacked by six guys in a very small room that was lined with bunks surrounding them. Lance was there in the middle, laughing wildly. His head was thrown back. and he had one palm directly on one man’s face, while the other was planted in the middle of a guy’s chest.
One man was hanging from a railing on one bunk, with his boot on the opposite side bunk, nearly sitting astride Lance’s shoulder. The others looked like they were dancing up on him. To top it all off, there was a guy on his back, hanging his arm around Lance’s neck, obviously howling the way his lips were pursed.
She could only imagine the rambunctiousness that was happening right now – especially after seeing the group of friends partying together. It was like they thrived in being wild and having fun to combat the stress and strain of their jobs, and she understood.
I love this so much. Thank you for sharing this with me.
Thank you for being a part of my world, princess.
She sighed happily, lying down to get some sleep.
The next day, Stephanie was about to go back inside from her lunch break when her phone began to ding wildly. Pictures and text messages were coming through, almost in a rapid-fire motion.
So when you walk in, you see the kitchen, living room – and those two doors back there are our bedrooms.
We’ll be right next to the baby.
The unit we’d be renting overlooks a fenced pond that has turtles and egrets that come here – nooooo alligators!
There’s a park directly beside our building for Peanut.
The mailbox is on the other side of the complex – but that is no biggie to me. What do you think?
It’s a second-floor apartment with a balcony.
Nobody above us.
Calling you in two min…
Stephanie remained right where she was. She was just going to be late coming back from lunch because she was taking this call – no matter what. Her heart was beating happil y, scrolling through the photos he’d sent when her phone finally rang.
“Hello?” she began excitedly.
“Well? What do you think?” he chuckled. “I’m standing here beside the complex manager – just FYI.”
Which means I can’t talk much she interpreted and thought for a moment how to phrase what she wanted to ask him before deciding to blurt it out. She was nervous, excited, and a little giddy because it felt like they were truly making an effort to come together as a couple, as parents, and building a relationship that would have never been there except for that chance meeting a few months ago.
“The photos are beautiful, and the scenery outside is nice, but how far is it from the base – and the hospital? Could you see us there, raising a child until we find the next fork in the road?”… and treasured his soft chuckle.
“The drive to the base is about fifteen minutes and with traffic, I’m sure it’s at least half an hour. The hospital is forty minutes from here, and to answer your third question – yes. Someday, we’ll have a house with a yard, but I could see us here with the baby for a while.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, princess – and we can move in as soon as you’re ready. Do you have a timeframe on that so I can set up our date?”
“I just need to pack, rent a U-Haul, and…”
“We’ll handle everything together, I just need to know if you want to wait for a certain event, a doctor’s appointment, or something… or if you are ready to go?” he asked softly. “Did I mention there is a bank two miles from here that is hiring?”
She could practically see the smile on his face in her mind .
“Oh yeah?”
“Yup, Navy Federal – in case you wanted to check out the job postings.”
“I appreciate that. Then I guess I need to give my notice and figure out when to drive to Florida…”
“I’ll drive you. You aren’t driving across country by yourself.”
“Oh, um, well… okay. When do you think you can get a ticket to fly out this way? A few weeks? A month? Six months?”
“I’ll book my flight as soon as I get back – if you are ready?”
“Oh, Lance,” she said breathlessly. “I’m very ready.”
“Grasping at happiness?”
“You know it.”
“I do, love… because I am too.”
And she melted. There was such a tenderness in his voice that there was no mistaking the intent or meaning. He might not have said the words, but he called her ‘love’ instead of ‘princess’ – and she caught it immediately. This was crazy, but it had felt that way from the very beginning. Maybe he saw something in her worth caring about, something beyond the plain appearance she saw in the mirror daily.
“Love? Don’t you mean ‘Princess’?” she said thickly and heard his laugh.
“Oh, you hush over there,” he tsked, chuckling. “Let me finish up the paperwork, and I’ll text you our new address so you can forward the mail.”
“I should see when my lease ends…”
“It ends the moment I get there. We’ll just break it or pay it out, but we’re done being apart. You’re coming home with me, wife . ”
“I can’t wait, husband…” she whispered tearfully.
“Let me finish here and I’ll call you in a few.”
“Okay.”
Stephanie waited… and waited – and waited some more. She was starting to get a little panicked that something happened or there was a problem because it wasn’t just twenty minutes, or an hour. It had been nearly three hours, and the worst was racing through her mind. Finally, her phone rang and she answered it quickly, not wanting to miss it.
“Hello?”
“I am soooo sorry,” Lance began in a rush – and her heart fell.
Something happened.
Something fell through.
Something went wrong … and then he continued speaking as she willed her heart to start beating again in her chest.
“I put down the deposit, had to go by housing to get my allotment toward the rent started, and then hurried to book my flight. How does next Thursday sound? I already had a day off scheduled on Friday to burn up some time, and then we have the entire weekend to get things packed, loaded, and moved,” he said in a rush as she sat there quietly. “Stephanie, is that okay?”
“I can’t wait,” she admitted. “I’m just stunned at how fast it’s going to happen – but I would leave this Friday if I needed to.”
“Oh, thank goodness,” he exclaimed quietly with a nervous sigh of relief. “I know it seems like a lot, but it’s more like figuring out a bunch of working puzzle pieces – the biggest being my duty rotation on ship.”
“Is there more to do? ”
“Just to pack your things and rent a U-Haul,” he chuckled. “That’s it. When you get here, we’ll schedule you with a doctor and have your records transferred over. I don’t have any furniture, but if we need something, then we’ll figure it out together. I’m just so relieved and can’t wait to have you here.”
“Lance?” she whispered, just needing to shake off that tiny voice in her mind that kept filling the darkest recesses with so much doubt. “Is it me – or the baby that you want there?”
And heard his slight intake of breath as he hesitated before speaking.
“I don’t want to do this over the phone. I’d rather have this conversation in person, if that’s okay.”
“It’s fine,” she whispered painfully. “I was just wondering and…”
“There’s no privacy here, princess – but if you are asking what I think you are, then I want to look in those eyes when I say those words to you, my wife, the mother of my child,” he whispered, his voice muffled from covering the mouthpiece. “I want you both here, both of you, because I can’t imagine my world without either.”
“Same,” she sniffed, feeling stupid at her insecurities.
“We’ll continue this talk the moment I get to Louisville,” he promised. “I’ll forward my ticket to you, so you know when I land… and then we’re loading up your things and coming home.”
“Sounds good.”
“Please don’t worry.”
“I feel better now, and I guess I just needed to hear you say it, you know?”
“I want to see your soul, your essence in your eyes when I tell you that for the first time, because it means a lot to me. That’s not something I take lightly – and I promise that once we get it out there, you are gonna hear it a lot over the next seventy years.”
Stephanie laughed tearfully and heard his chuckle.
“Now, in seventy years, I’ll be over a hundred and won’t have any clue who that frisky wrinkled woman is that is always grabbing at me with no teeth in – but I’m such a pig that I probably wouldn’t fight you much… diaper and all,” and they laughed together knowingly.
“Just make sure my ‘pig’ stays in the ‘pen’ because he’s married now.”
“Very much so,” Lance whispered. “I’m not taking any chances. I promise.”
“I can’t wait to see you.”
“Same here, princess. Next Thursday can’t come soon enough.”