12. Chapter Twelve | Savannah
Chapter twelve
“Girls! It’s time to pick up and get ready for dinner, please!
” I holler up the stairs to my daughters and niece.
There’s a large landing space at the top of the stairs that has become Barbie central since Shane moved out.
He used to be so strict about the girls keeping all toys in the toy room or their bedrooms, but I don’t really care as long as they pick up when they are done.
“You have ten minutes to pick up and wash up!” I call as a chorus of “Yes, ma’am! ” echoes back to me in the foyer.
I go back to the boiling water and add the pasta for the girls’ macaroni and cheese.
Is it the healthiest meal? No, but half of them will refuse to eat anything else, and some days, you have to take the win that your kid ate something solid instead of just living on juice boxes.
I open the drawer next to the stove to grab my wooden pasta spoon, but it’s not there.
Hmm, that’s weird. We haven’t had pasta recently; why wouldn’t it be where I put it away?
I check the dishwasher and the sink, but still no wooden pasta spoon.
I open a few other drawers and finally locate the missing utensil on a shelf in the pantry.
I must have picked it up and had it in my hands when I was putting away groceries earlier or something.
But … a chill goes up the back of my neck because I don’t remember doing that.
I jump slightly and screech as Vivian opens the door and comes in from the patio, startling the absolute daylight out of me. “Oh my gosh, Viv, you scared the crap out of me!”
“From walking into the room? What’s going on?” Vivian looks around like she missed something .
“Nothing, never mind. Maybe I’m losing my mind; I was just confused for a second.
It’s fine,” I tell my sister, waving my hand to dismiss my confusion.
My heartrate takes a moment to calm down and I can’t quite shake the feeling in my gut that something just feels …
off. I can’t place it, but it’s a feeling I’ve had more and more lately, even in my own home.
It doesn’t help when I keep getting blindsided by Shane.
This afternoon, Jack let me know that Shane was indeed taking Kane Daughtry on as a client.
The case is unrelated to Jack or his company, but the principle of the issue is still insulting because when Shane set up and took the meeting with Kane, we were very much still married.
I have to assume that level of betrayal has just knocked my baseline, leaving me just … feeling off.
“How was that new Pilates class you tried this afternoon? Did you like it?” Vivian asks as she leans against the kitchen island, bringing me out of my own thoughts.
“Yeah, I think I’ll go again. Although…” I pause as I tilt my head to glance and ensure the girls aren’t downstairs yet. “One of the K Club’s ex-husbands was there, and he was laying it on a little thick for my liking.”
Vivian purses her lips together as she looks up at the ceiling, thinking. “That must be Kallie’s ex, Dean. Although I’m pretty sure they’re just separated unless that divorce went through faster than a pig to mud.”
The K Club is a group of women whose children all go to the same private school as our girls, Forrest Hills Academy.
Their names all start with K, and each of the blonde women have fake spray tans, perfectly manicured nails, designer purses, and only ever wearing luxury brands.
They may be the closest thing to a Stepford wife as Forrest Falls has, and they always have the hottest gossip, but they’re also a group you do not want to cross.
I don’t want to be friends with them, but I don’t want to be on their bad side either.
They don’t intimidate me, but dealing with their drama would be exhausting.
“I’m pretty sure you’re right. He literally asked someone to switch spots with him so he could be next to me, and I don’t know if he spent more time looking at the instructor’s ass or my boobs.
” I shrug. I know the guy is a talented and successful neurosurgeon, but that doesn’t impress me when he was so blatant about his slimy attention.
“I have zero interest in a guy like that whatsoever, but to be honest, I don’t really have an interest in any man right now.
” That doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate a handsome man, but trusting one enough to entertain the thought of a relationship?
I can’t see myself doing that any time soon.
I nod to the patio doors and ask my sister, “Are the steaks almost done?”
“Yeah, Walker is letting them rest and just threw the hot dogs on for the girls. Do I need to go police them to pick up?” We both listen for a moment before we start laughing as we can clearly hear them still playing.
“Like mothers like daughters. I’m on it!
” Vivian heads upstairs to encourage the toy pickup.
When we were kids, Vivian and I always kept playing when Mama would call us for dinner.
She always had to ask us multiple times, but she never got mad at us for being lost in the little worlds we created with our toys.
Now if Daddy had called us for dinner, there was no such thing as him calling us more than once unless you wanted to risk losing access to television or friends.
Once the girls finally put away their Barbies, we enjoy a nice meal as a family, with a lot of talk about the new Fiona Skye concert that started streaming last week.
The girls gang up on us and ask for yet another sleepover and even convince Walker to read them a bedtime story—or five—which gives Vivian and me some time, just the two of us, on my patio.
I made a kettle of tea for us to share as we get cozy on the outdoor couch.
“Not that I mind, but is there a reason for the tea tonight instead of wine?”
“To be completely honest, I don’t want to get into the habit of ending every single day with wine, you know?” I blush a little at the admission. “I’m trying to get back into my evening routine of chamomile tea before bed.”
“You did that for years, and don’t think I didn’t notice you still use your favorite mug!
” I smile at her memory. One time when I was visiting her during her undergrad in D.C.
, we discovered a cute little tea shop that had a quirky selection of mugs with clever sayings.
I found a mug the perfect shade of light purple, with the outline of a bejeweled crown above the saying, “Tea fit for the Queen, but enjoyed by me.” I went through a phase where I was a bit obsessed with all things related to the British royal family, and while that zeal has faded, my love for them has not.
“Absolutely.” I shrug. “It has to be better than decaf coffee, right?”
Vivian’s eyebrows raise. “Does Shane still drink coffee at night?”
“I mean, I don’t know for sure if he currently does, but I would assume because he always has. But he at least switches to decaf after dinner. I’d rather have my tea—and I’m telling myself that’s a better choice than a nightly glass or two of wine.”
“Are you worried about the glasses of wine becoming a habit?” She tilts her head.
I roll my lips over my teeth as I really think about her question before responding, “It’s not …
it’s not yet a habit per say, but I’ve definitely been drinking more frequently over the last month.
I don’t know, I just don’t want it to become an issue, you know?
Especially if it’s something Shane could use against me in court in any way whatsoever. ”
I’ve never had an issue with alcohol, but I’m aware of my genes.
Our daddy used to drink a little too much and a little too often, which was also a contributing factor to him making poor decisions that led to him stepping out on our mama.
He never got in any legal trouble, but sometimes I’ve wondered if he hadn’t drunk as much, would he still have cheated on her?
We didn’t know about it for most of our childhood, but when it all came to light, it was a struggle for them and our entire family.
But Mama was a warrior. She insisted we all attend therapy as a family, in addition to the intensive couple therapy they did together, and Daddy stopped drinking, although he still enjoys non-alcoholic beer socially.
The work they put in to fight for their marriage allowed them to have ten years of genuine happiness before Mama passed.
Her battle with cancer was swift and brief, but thankfully, so was her suffering.
I can’t believe she’s been gone for five years already.
“Hey. Where did you go?” Vivian nudges me with her foot, pulling me from my thoughts.
“Oh, just thinking of Daddy and back before he quit drinking.” Vivian was in middle school when it all exploded and doesn’t remember much, but it was the summer after I graduated high school, and I remember more than I wish I did.
“And then Mama, of course. She fought so hard for their marriage.” A sad smile crosses my face as a wave of emotions hit me at once.
Vivian sits up straight and grabs my hand. “Wait just a damn minute, you don’t think you should have fought for your marriage, do you?”
I start to shake my head slowly but before I can say anything, she holds up her hand and continues, “Savannah Caroline, you stop that right this instant. No ma’am, nuh uh. You didn’t walk away from your marriage, he did. You can’t fight for something when you are the only one left standing.”