epilogue Gage
EPILOGUE: GAGE
8 MONTHS LATER
“This isn’t even as cool as I thought it’d be,” Alexei complains while I look through boxes of cookies. “I thought we’d at least get to see the actual factory.”
I grin at a box of sugar cookies and try to link our fingers. Alexei unlinks them. “What? A cookie showroom in a cookie factory isn’t cool enough for you?”
“Hardly. It’s like a non-decorated storefront.” His eyes meet mine, and then they brighten. “But I love it because you love it. And this is how you decided to celebrate.”
“Celebrate what?” I ask, adding the sugar cookies to my stack on the counter. “My two years of sobriety?”
“The first year of our centuries-long soulmateship, Gage.” Timidly, but somehow still with attitude, he adds a box of Oreo knockoffs to the growing stack on the counter. He’s gained a sweet tooth, which means he has one cookie every second night, and he calls that overindulging. “And your two years of sobriety. But mostly us because we’re ignoring sobriety dates still, right?”
Yes, we are. But I’m also not as scared of time measurements anymore. Because I’m feeling strong and confident. Happy and settled in this new life in Port Baylon. The one where I have friends from all three of my high school friend groups, brothers I get to spend time with, a mom who drinks tea with me and shows me up at the forge. I have a business that’s doing so much better now that I’m actually paying attention to it, and a body that’s seriously healthier because Alexei has taught me to respect it.
I’m still that guy who used to be an addict. I still get asked if I’m okay whenever my mood dips, and I still make extra sure that my mom knows where I am and what I’m doing because she doesn’t deserve any more worrying in her life, and letting her know is no burden to me anymore. Because I’m not ashamed of where I am or what I’m up to. I’m just working my ass off, being in love with Alexei, or trying but failing to quit smoking. I’m a work in progress, but fuck me, progress feels good.
“Centuries long? Do we defy age restrictions?”
“Age is just a number. Our souls will live on forever. Together.” He puts another box on the counter and glares at me like I’m judging him for it. “What?! I will freeze them and only take out three a week!”
“And I’ll probably finish these four boxes by the time you get through half of one.” I point to the last shelf. “Check for those coconut ones Owen asked for.”
He drops my hand and goes over to the shelf to look. I watch him, sticking my hand into my pocket to fiddle with the key. Originally, I was going to give it to him in a velvet box, but I didn’t want to accidentally make him say yes to a question I’m not yet asking. Someday, though.
“These ones?” He carries the box over and I peek inside.
“Yep.” I set it on the counter and pay an obscene amount of money for four thousand cookies.
We carry everything out to the van. Mom’s van with the broken door and the horrible squeal. Alexei’s car is in the shop for routine maintenance, and I might be a loser because I haven’t bought one yet, but I don’t care. It’s kinda fun going places with my mom, brothers, or Alexei.
As soon as we close the doors, Alexei looks at me. “You’re dubious again.”
I smirk and start the van. “Because I was so terrified of turning you into a fried meat heathen that it snuck up on me when you became a cookie monster instead.”
“I’m hardly monstrous,” he says. “What’s in your pocket?”
“How do you know everything?!” I laugh, loving how perceptive he is. “It’s a key.”
“It better not be to a house.”
“Why not?”
He flails his arms, throwing them out wide. “Mansion! Used to be falling down, but now it’s only partly falling down. Libraries and tiles and grout. Ringing any bells?”
So many bells. I fucking love that house. “It’s not to a house,” I assure him, backing out of the cookie factory lot.
“What’s it unlock then?” he asks.
“My heart.”
He snorts. “Please. I unlocked that forever ago.”
“Didn’t even need a key.” I smile at him.
“Are you gonna tell me what it unlocks?”
“How about you just ramble about something else while I drive us home so the surprise doesn’t get ruined?” I look over at him to find him sorta glaring, but mostly just watching me fondly. “Ramble about that prick of a set of old gas station pumps that are keeping you up all hours of the night and ruining your sleep schedule.”
“Do not get me started, Gage.” But he’s already started. He vents about these pumps because they’re the first high-paying job he’s had that is stumping him. He’s trying so hard to restore them to functional use because the owners want to use them to pump water for their gardens, but they’re corroded and… yada yada old things shit.
While he talks, I drive us back to Port Baylon. Sundays are our days, and except for the time I messed up by pushing Alexei and walking over him to get to my brothers, I haven’t missed a single Sunday with him in our first year together. They’ve become something special. Something I look forward to. It doesn’t matter that I see him every day of the week or that we sleep together most nights. Sundays have a meaning now.
Us. A complicated boyfriend, a recovering addict, a level of communication I’ve never had before, and a strong hit of the way we make each other feel. And this particular Sunday is special because it’s the Sunday I got out of rehab—fifty-two Sundays ago. The frappuccino Sunday. The Sunday Paul told me I looked good. Healthy. This Sunday, I really do feel good. And I finally feel healthy. Because I did the work, and by doing the work, I earned myself a soulmate. I earned Alexei fucking Kopacek.
When we get back to the mansion and unload all the boxes, Alexei runs down to his workshop because he’s had a sudden bout of inspiration for the fuel pumps. We even renovated a lane so customers can pull right up to the basement door to drop off their items for his workshop, and I love how much time he loses to his passion down there, so even though it’s our day, I don’t mind that he goes to work. He’ll snap out of it shortly and come back up, reminding me it’s Sunday like I’m the one who forgot.
Stacking cookie boxes in the pantry and setting the others in piles to deliver to my friends and family, I jump when Nathan sneaks up on me.
“Jesus! Warn a guy!”
He’s sweaty from moving. Moving out but still within the same house. I don’t like that he’s moving into the apartment, but we’ve agreed to have dinner together every night if we’re all home. The meal subscription kits are still a thing we do.
“Here.” He sets the lockbox I made him guard on the island counter. “You lose the key?”
I touch it in my pocket to make sure it’s still there. “Nope.”
He pulls his mug from the dishwasher. It’s a new one. I drew the mansion on my iPad and Alexei picked the words. ‘Sturdy as fuck but still a fixer-upper.’ It fits the house and Nathan, and I know he loves it right along with his ‘fucking being there’ mug.
“Where’s Alex?” he asks. I look at the basement door. “Ah, well. Don’t let him get lost down there for too long. We have a big night and he’s gonna fret about it.”
We do have a big night. It’s our housewarming party. My family, all the neighbours, my quilting night ladies, the friends from forging night, and my three groups of old but new friends are coming. Alexei’s friend Stefan is coming with Brian and Becky because he’s become really close with Becky, and the older man who taught Alexei to make old things new again will be here, too. I even invited my friends from the coffee shop.
Because I fucking live here now! As of this morning, when I moved in the one and only box of useless shit I own that isn’t already here. I accidentally moved into the mansion in slow increments over the last year since I’ve been with Alexei, and no one thought to warn me that I was doing it! Gah! So embarrassing, but I think Alexei subliminally forced me to, and I’m not mad about it.
“Is Natalie still coming?” Nathan asks.
“Yep!” And I’m done with sex therapy. I’m still close with Natalie because she’s a bit of a lifeline if I ever have questions or concerns, but she’s shifted to more of an ongoing therapist who helps me with my mental state, fears and worries, and whatever else I happen to need. So Natalies’s coming to celebrate with the receptionist from her office, and then they’re coming with us to a meeting tonight. A big meeting for me.
“Okay, well, Benedita will be here in a few hours. I’ll be back by then.” He grabs his keys and heads out to pick up his still new but sorta serious girlfriend, Melody. Alexei thinks she’s dubious, but I’m pretty sure that’s just because he’s skeptical of everyone.
Benedita and my mom are coming to help me cook this massive meal. And Sonya is coming with them, bringing the baby. God, I’m exhausted from this day already. I will need three to five business weeks to recover.
“Gage!” Alexei shouts, not even all the way up the stairs yet. “Do you think I forgot about the key?!”
He totally did because old things sidetracked him, but I won’t call him out. “Of course not.”
“Show me what it unlocks.” He walks right up to me. Literally. Chest to chest, noses touching, foreheads resting. “Distract me from cookies and fuel pumps.”
I smile against his lips and kiss him with my whole heart. He’s wearing so much blue with his black today, making his eyes stand out and his hair look vibrant. He doesn’t paint his nails anymore because his job always ruins them, but I love that they’re always a little dirty under the tips. He thinks he’s more rugged like Dave now.
“This.” I slide the metal box over.
He turns his forehead against mine to look at the box. “A fire-resistant safe?”
“Yes. Can’t be too careful.” I press the key to his palm. “Unlock it, complicated.”
“Did you set up your banking stuff with the rehab centre for the Feel Good Drug line?” he asks, making me laugh.
“Stalling?”
“Yes.”
I wrap my arms around him and smile. “Yeah. All the proceeds from that line will be directly deposited into the bank account we set up for it.” Because I have a platform now. I shared my website and digital products on social media, which led to me sharing a bit about my addiction and recovery journey, and I tagged the rehab centre to credit them as a big part of my process. Since my website has expanded to include merch and other products, I started a whole line called The Feel Good Drug to raise money for addicts who might not be able to afford rehab. And it took off. Like… majorly. I’ve never felt cooler.
“Thank you,” Alexei says. “For whatever is in the box.”
“I hope you never start abiding by social protocols, Alexei. I love you just like this.”
“I know,” he sighs, pulling away. “Okay. Here we go.”
He sits on a stool and pulls the box towards him, looking at it like it will either make his heart explode or ruin his life. Either, or.
Alexei isn’t someone who rushes, so I start the kettle to make him tea while he pretends he isn’t getting ridiculously emotional over every slip of paper he finds in the box. One for every day since I met him. I quilted him a teapot cozy a while ago, so I pull it out, add it to the teapot, and drop in a few bags of his soulmate tea.
He pulls the slips out one at a time, reading them and then organizing them into neat little piles. The whole time, he stays silent, but I’m not offended. Alexei likes to think, and he’s attracted to the reasons behind actions, so he’s processing in the best way he knows how. Slowly and with rapt attention.
His eyes are glassy and wet, his mascara smudged a little when he looks at me. “You said this, not me.” He holds up a slip of crinkled paper.
It says, ‘it’s a fried meats kind of Sunday. ’
“No, you said that. When my mom made us fried bologna sandwiches. You whispered it before you forced yourself to eat it just to be polite.” I grin at him, watching him remember.
“I didn’t think you heard that! Gage! What… what is this?!” He motions to the metal box while his eyes water even more. “All the things I said? All this time?”
“Yep. We had a sex journal going strong, but I had an Alexei memory box going, too. I wrote down my favourite thing you said every single day since I met you. Even the days you just texted me.”
A few tears slip down his reddening cheeks. “You know, for someone who only ever chased highs and orgasms, you sure nailed the romance part. How did you even know to do this?”
“Instinct.” I step up to him while the kettle shuts off, boiled. “Probably has something to do with my soul knowing your soul, and even before I helplessly fell in love with you, it knew I needed to remember all the little things. Because I’ve never remembered the little things before.”
He sniffles. “The phrase is ‘falling hopelessly in love’ not ‘helplessly fell in love,’ Gage.”
“Nah, I like my way better. Because as soon as I met you, I was fucking helpless, Alexei. Thank you for being my soulmate.”
“Thank Fate,” he says for the second time. “I love you.” He cries a bit harder. “I need cookies.”
So, we eat cookies and read all the things he’s said over the last year. And when our housewarming party is in full swing, I sit back and appreciate the fuck out of how far I’ve come and all the incredible people we have in our lives. The relationships I’ve repaired and the new friends I’ve made. The mingling of Alexei’s people with my people, and the pride that comes with knowing we’ve brought people together.
When we’re all complaining about being too full, we have a hunting party for Slash because he’s lost somewhere in the mansion. After Owen shouts that he found him in the west-side second floor third bedroom closet, I drag Alexei into the library and kiss him until he can’t breathe. And when Alexei holds my hand while we walk to the community centre for a late-night meeting, I smile through my nerves.
Because I’m so fucking nervous.
But he squeezes my hand, kisses my cheek, and pushes me towards the guy I came here to meet. Glancing back at Nathan for reassurance, I feel my pride swell when he nods at me encouragingly.
“Hey, Dalton, right?” I ask him, holding out my right hand. “I’m Gage. I hear you’re looking for a sponsor.”
The End.