Chapter 17
Cullan
E lena is so close to coming. I can feel it in her tightly coiled muscles and hear it in her breath.
“Feels good, doesn’t it, Elena?” I ask as I massage her clit with my tongue.
“Yes. Please . Don’t stop. So good,” she moans, her head tipped back.
“If I keep licking this spot, you’re going to come.”
“I am. I am .”
“I make you feel better than my son, don’t I?”
“Hm?” she asks vaguely.
“I want to know if he ever made you feel as good as I’m making you feel.
If he’s ever licked your pussy like I’m doing right now.
” I squeeze her supple ass and pull one of her thighs up onto my shoulder so I can get a better angle with my tongue.
“Maybe I should let it go. Maybe you’ll be happier believing I’m just jealous and not crazy.
” I lick her again and look up at her. “But I kind of want you to know I’m crazy, Elena. ”
She’s not really listening to me. She’s too focused on the bliss that’s pouring through her body. I spoke to her the night I was going down on her, risking her knowing it was me. The time wasn’t right back then, but it is now.
“That’s my good girl,” I whisper, and her lips curve into a smile.
Does she remember what else I said to her that night? There’s only one way to find out. As she nears her peak, I say between insistent caresses of my tongue, “I can feel you’re so close. I’ve got you. Let me hear those beautiful cries.”
Shock fills Elena’s face at the same time her climax slams into her. She’s torn between the pleasure that has an iron grip imprisoning her body, and the realization that she’s heard these words before.
I keep on licking her, wringing every drop of pleasure that I can from her body. Her nails dig into my shoulders. She fists my hair and gasps my name. But I don’t let up. When her legs start to shake and she calls my name in pleading tones, I finally have mercy on her and pull away.
She pants in confusion. “Oh, my God. Cullan. What the hell? How did you…”
“How do I know what my son said to you while he was going down on you? How do I already know how your pussy likes to be licked? His tongue felt different when he came back into your room, didn’t it?
He caressed your legs. Kissed your thighs.
Made you feel so good as you wrapped your legs around his shoulders and squeezed as you climaxed.
Broad shoulders, weren’t they? Broader than my son’s.
” I rub my hand over my jaw. “I wondered if my beard bristles might give me away, but I think you were enjoying yourself too much to notice.”
Elena is staring at me, transfixed by my words.
I caress the backs of her calves. “It took all my self-control not to fuck you then and there. You were so wet for me, Elena. All laid open and looking so pink and inviting, and I was so fucking hard.”
“No, no, no,” she whimpers, and tries to stand up.
I seize hold of her ankles, and growl, “I warned you. Don’t. Run.”
She grips the edge of the fountain with both hands. “It was you who came to my bed after Leon went out?”
I nod.
Her face creases in confusion. “Why did you trick me?”
“Because it broke my heart that you were so unsatisfied, and that Leon made you believe it was your fault. I wanted to give you the pleasure you deserved.”
She looks around the garden and back to me. “What happens if I run?”
“I’ll chase you. I’ll fuck you.”
“You’re crazy,” she says in a shuddering whisper.
She has no idea. She won’t get far in this locked garden, wearing just underwear and heels. It won’t be fair, but I don’t care about being fair anymore. I want her.
“Take me home,” she cries.
“Elena—”
“You promised you would if I asked.” She squeezes her eyes shut. “I want to go home.”
I stare at my grip on her ankles, disappointment a sinking weight in my chest. I did promise, but I didn’t think she’d ask.
I thought Elena was the woman I’ve been looking for.
The woman who could look upon my true face without screaming.
I fantasized about confessing to her that I was her nighttime visitor, and then that I’d dismantled her life so I could keep her close to me.
She’d be horrified at first, but then she’d understand that I only did it because I need her.
Slowly, I’d start to drop hints that not every aspect of my business is legitimate, and she’d take an interest in what I do and how. She’d be proud of my sinister cunning.
Then finally, I’d show her the red mask, and just how swift I am at tying knots. She’d understand how much blood is on my hands, much more than she realized, and she’d still want me to put them on her body. Elena would be the first woman to see my true face, and she’d love me.
But there’s no love in her face now.
Slowly, I let go of her ankles, and Elena gets to her feet. “That was a dirty trick, wearing Leon’s hoodie and pretending to be him. I thought I meant more to you than that. I thought…”
I seize her shoulders. I can no longer hold back my emotions, and desperate words spill from my lips.
“You think because I tricked you, it means I don’t care about you?
Do you think I get this crazy over just anyone?
I have been alone for two years and I haven’t touched another woman.
I haven’t even looked at another woman. I have been waiting for my woman.
I’m jealous, I’m crazy, I definitely took things too far, but I couldn’t help myself because it’s you .
I’m afraid of you seeing who I really am and losing you forever.
All that time you thought I was standing there calmly being your boyfriend’s dad and then your boss?
I was losing my fucking mind over you. You think you’re not special?
Special doesn’t fucking cover it. I am consumed by you, night and day, and now that I’ll never have you, I don’t know what the hell I’m going to do. ”
I look up into the sky, searching for the strength to let go of Elena when all I want is to wrap my arms tightly around her and never let go.
“I know I’m a lot,” I say through gritted teeth. “Criminal. Immoral. Sinful. I’m too much. I always have been, and I always will be. I can’t change, and I’m sick of pretending, so I have to stop hoping that when I bare my heart and soul to the woman I care about, she’ll still want me.”
Keeping my gaze firmly on the cold, hard glare of the moon, I release my grip on Elena and turn away. My hope dies in this garden. If I can’t have Elena, then there’s nothing left for me in this world.
“I’ll take you home,” I mutter, crunching across the gravel. “I won’t touch you again. ”
It takes me a moment to realize that she’s not following me.
“It hurts, doesn’t it?” she asks. “Trying to be good all the time and never being enough for people. I don’t know if what I’m fighting for is even worth it. I’m so tired, Cullan.”
“You are good. I know I’m not, but I don’t care about anyone else’s opinion of me. Only the woman I love. Everyone else can go to hell.”
“You’re brave. I wish I could be more like you.”
“I wouldn’t recommend it,” I mutter.
The cicadas continue to chirp. A soft, warm breeze blows through the silent garden.
“You meant what you said? That you’ve been consumed by me?” Elena asks.
“I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t mean it.”
“Then you should have told me. I’m not angry because you tricked me. I’m angry that all this time you pretended you’re not interested in me. Why did you pretend?”
I turn slowly to face her. “I was afraid you’d think I’m crazy.”
She has her hands wrapped around her waist like she’s cold, but there’s no longer the fury in her eyes like there was a moment ago.
“I wanted it to be you,” she whispers, emotion creasing her face. “That night in the guest room.”
I stare at her, stunned into silence.
“Just how crazy are you, Cullan?” she asks, sounding more curious than accusing. “You say that you’ve been losing your mind over me, but all I’ve seen is kind, polite Mr. Grant.” She hesitates. “Except at night. When it’s dark, I see glimpses of another man.”
At night I kill. At night I let myself lust for her. I do terrible things in pursuit of her body and heart, and I’m not sorry about any of them.
“I’m curious about this man you’ve been hiding from me,” she says, watching me closely.
I risk taking a step toward her. “When it’s dark, I’m closer to being the man I never let anyone see. No one, except for you.”
“I haven’t seen everything, have I?”
A little seed of hope blooms in my heart. I worried Elena would be battering at the locked gates of the garden by now, screaming for someone to save her from me, but she’s not. “You want me to tell you who I really am?”
“No,” she says flatly. “I don’t want you to tell me.”
My heart sinks. It was too much to hope that she wouldn’t be furious with me for the underhanded way I tasted her pussy in the dark.
Elena flicks her gaze up to mine. “I want you to show me.”
With a final, breathless glance at me, she runs, her almost naked body fleeing into the trees. I watch her in shock, staring at the little flashes of red from the soles of her shoes.
She wants me to show her?
No.
She wants me to chase her.
A smile spreads over my lips, and heat and lust rise through my body. Elena wants to know the man I really am. She wants me to prove I’m obsessed with her and only her. I’ll prove it all goddamn night until her legs are shaking and she’s begging me to let her catch her breath.
But I have to hunt her down first.
In just a few seconds, she’s disappeared from view, but the garden isn’t very big, and she can’t get out. I can hunt her at my leisure.
“Elena,” I call in a singsong voice, slowly walking after her.
She’s disappeared farther in, and I move to the top left-hand side so I can circle around in a clockwise direction.
“There’s no point hiding from me. You’re locked in this garden, and I’m the one who has the key. Come out and show yourself.”
I listen carefully.
Silence.