Chapter 18 #2
As I hold her and talk to her, Cullan stands close by and watches me intently.
I feel a blush heat my cheeks. If I look up at him, will it seem like I’m asking for a kiss?
Does he want to kiss me? I don’t know what the rules are.
We’ve only ever been physical with each other in the dead of night.
When Rosie’s present, he probably expects me to be ultra-professional.
Or does he? He caresses my hot cheek, and presses a kiss to my brow, and I melt at the tender gesture.
Maybe not ultra-professional, but I’m still not certain about what exactly is going on between us, and I’m afraid of breaking any unspoken rules.
The things Cullan did and said last night made me feel like he wants me as a lover, maybe even a girlfriend, but people can say things in the moment that they don’t mean or that wither away in the cold light of day.
“Last night was wonderful,” he murmurs.
“It was,” I whisper, concentrating on the buttons of his shirt, not trusting myself to look up into his intense hazel eyes in case he can tell just how hard and deeply I’m falling for him.
“I think I wore you out. You take it easy today. Enjoy yourself.”
“What are you going to do?”
I hear the smile in his voice. “We’re a day late, but Rosie and I are going to bake you a birthday cake. I don’t know how good it will be, but we’ll do our best. ”
I look up in surprise. This close, Cullan looks so handsome that it takes my breath away. “Really? That’s so sweet, thank you.”
“It’s my pleasure. What’s your favorite kind of cake?”
My heart shines with pleasure that Cullan cares enough to ask me. “Vanilla. With sprinkles. It’s not birthday cake without sprinkles.”
“Vanilla with sprinkles it is.” He takes Rosie from me and settles her against his hip, and then he reaches for his shopping bag.
“By the way, I got you some vitamins. Little kids can carry a lot of germs, so it’s important that your immune system is properly supported.
” He opens the bottle and shows them to me.
“Oh, thanks. That’s really thoughtful of you.” Odd, but thoughtful. Or is this a normal sleeping-with-your-boss perk when your boss is a careful man?
“Great. I’ll put them beside your coffee mug so you’ll remember them every morning. Before I start baking, I’m going to sort through the fridge and wash all the vegetables. But make sure you wash them again before eating anything.”
“Is there a food poisoning outbreak or something?”
“There’s always something going around. It’s best to be safe, so I’m making washing vegetables twice a new house rule.”
My eyebrows creep up my forehead. House rules? I wonder if this is the next level of getting to know Cullan. Level one is understanding how the security system works. Level two is orgasms and sleeping in his bed, and level three is food safety and vitamins.
He notices my incredulous look. “Apart from the days my children were born, last night was the best night of my life, and it was because I spent it with you, Elena. I care about you, and this is one of my ways of showing it.”
The best night of his life because he spent it with me? No one’s ever said anything like that to me before.
“And one more thing.” He moves toward me, cups my face with his free hand, and leans down to press a long kiss to my lips.
“I don’t just want to kiss you in the dark.
You’re just as beautiful and alluring in the bright light of day.
” He rubs the tip of his nose against mine and whispers, “You must be magical, darlin’, because I even feel like myself while the sun is shining, and that’s never happened to me before. ”
Cullan presses another toe-tingling kiss to my lips and then heads back to the fridge. While I’m still reeling from his velvety words, he reaches inside, pulls out a round cheese wrapped in paper, and tosses it in the trash.
“Why did you throw that out?”
Cullan keeps his back to me while he sorts through the contents of the fridge with his left hand, holding on to Rosie with his right arm. “Listeriosis.”
I have no idea what that is, but it sounds scary. I don’t really pay attention to product recalls and things like that. Cullan has always favored healthy food, and he exercises and doesn’t drink or smoke, so I guess this is just more of his health consciousness that I’m learning about .
“Salami is out too.” The packet goes into the trash.
“What’s wrong with salami?”
“Toxoplasmosis.”
“But we were both eating salami the other day.”
“Things change,” he says cheerfully, and throws out a packet of pepperoni.
“Toxoplasmosis?” I ask.
“And nitrates. They’re very bad for you. Do you eat much fish? I haven’t seen you each much fish.”
“Not very often.”
“Good. Some of them have heavy metals. Too much isn’t good for you.”
“I had no idea that the fridge could be such a deathtrap,” I say with a laugh as I head for the coffeepot, intending to pour myself another cup.
Cullan frowns as he looks at the pot. “Have you already had a cup of coffee this morning?”
“Yes, but—”
He picks up the pot before I can reach it and pours the contents down the sink. I stare in shock at all that delicious hot coffee draining away.
“Cullan!”
“Too much coffee is bad for you. One cup a day is enough. Don’t worry, I’ll cut back to one cup as well. I don’t expect you to do this on your own.”
I put my hands on my hips. “Salami I can do without, but my second cup of coffee? This is too much.”
Cullan looks deep into my eyes. “Remember what you said when we first met, about me making people feel safe all over Blackport? This is part of it. You’ve become very dear to me, Elena. Nothing is more important to me than the well-being of the people I care about.”
He kisses me, and the protest I was about to make dies on my lips. He deepens the kiss, and his tongue brushes mine. He presses his hand over my stomach and caresses me with his thumb. With his hand on my belly, he breaks the kiss and whispers, “I’m doing this for both of you.”
I can feel the charm and persuasiveness radiating from him like he’s a space heater.
“Rosie doesn’t drink coffee,” I point out, but he looks so deadly serious that I roll my eyes and smile. “Fine. One cup a day, but I better see about a thousand health benefits.”
He smiles and resumes sorting through the fridge. “There are some lovely herbal teas in the cupboard. Try peppermint if you want something to energize you.”
I make a peppermint tea and sip it. It’s not bad, actually.
I spend the morning reading and listening to Cullan and Rosie in the kitchen, him cooking and her banging pot lids together and drumming on an upturned saucepan with a wooden spoon.
They both sound so happy that it makes me smile.
I take a walk in the afternoon because the sunny day beckons to me, and when I return, Cullan and Rosie are playing in the garden and the house is filled with the smell of vanilla cake, fresh from the oven.
That evening, we sit down to an early dinner with Rosie in her high chair.
She has chopped boiled egg with potato and butter and cucumber sticks, and Cullan has made us a stir-fry.
At the end of the meal, Cullan dims the lights and brings out the birthday cake covered in sprinkles and lit with candles.
They sing “Happy Birthday”, Rosie yelling la la la more than singing, but I love her enthusiasm.
I blow out the candles, and Cullan turns the lights back on.
“Rosie helped me decorate. I hope you like it.”
I can see that a small child has been allowed to pick up handfuls of sprinkles and drop them on the cake.
One side is covered in them, and the other is nearly bare.
I picture Cullan holding his daughter while she “decorates,” pointing out where to drop the sprinkles and laughing as they go everywhere.
I would have loved to see that. I want a thousand little moments like that with them.
“I love it,” I say sincerely, blinking through my tears and smiling.
“It’s the most wonderful cake in the world, and I’ve had the most wonderful birthday.
Justine taking me out dancing. You and everything that happened last night.
Thank you for the bonus, and the presents, and this cake, and…
what happened in the garden. I have never been so spoiled in my life. ”
Cullan raises an eyebrow. “You think that was spoiling? You haven’t seen spoiling. It was selfish of me, giving you those shoes. They were more for me than for you, which was wicked of me. I’ll have to make it up to you.”
I feel my cheeks heat as I smile at him. “I love them. They made me feel desirable. You don’t have to make up anything to me. ”
As we eat the cake, which is delicious with fluffy buttercream frosting, Cullan grows serious. “You wanted to run from me after I told you the truth about what happened in this house. Do you still feel that way?”
I look at the cake on my fork. Cullan was the man who went down on me, not Leon.
“Leon used to call me babe, and I hated it. The endearment is so careless, like a shrug. You were sneaky and maybe I should be angry about that, but when I remember how it felt when you came into my room and touched me, I should have known it wasn’t Leon.
He made me feel like it was my responsibility to have an orgasm to make him feel like a man.
He never took care to relax me like you did.
To make me feel like all I needed to do was enjoy myself rather than perform. ”
Cullan reaches out and touches my cheek. “That’s all I wanted. To make you happy. No matter what I’ve done, I care about you so much, even if I can be crazy about showing it.”
He takes Rosie upstairs and puts her to bed while I tidy the kitchen and stack the dishwasher. As Cullan comes back downstairs twenty minutes later, my phone chimes with a text message. I wince when I see who it is.
Leon: I’m outside. Can I speak to you?