Lost
four
Bunny
The party was at some dude TJ’s house. I had no clue who that was, but he lived near the twins, and word got around to them. Whether we were supposed to be there or not, we had no clue, but we went anyway.
I didn’t really want to leave the house, but the guys were trying to convince me to go. I decided that if Dex was going, I might as well too. Sitting home alone didn’t sound fun at all.
Turning down the street, Dexter parked near the corner.
Close enough, but also in a good spot so we could leave early if we wanted to.
The door to the house from the garage was open, and people walked in and out from the backyard.
Quite a few people were standing around, drinks in hand, talking when we reached the back.
A lot of people I recognized came up and greeted us.
They asked when we would be having another party or when Solace was playing at Captain’s again.
Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted a cooler next to the patio. “I’m getting a drink. Want something?” My question was directed at Dexter more so than Rich or Chris, but I would get them something too if they wanted it.
“Yeah, let’s just walk over there,” Dexter said, patting my back.
Rich ran up behind us, nearly knocking us over onto the table. “Shit! Shit. Shit. Shit.”
“What the fuck? Chill. What is your problem?” I shoved him off of my back. He was ducking behind Dexter and me. Looking down at him, my voice full of judgment, “What are you doing?”
He pointed to the other side of the yard, then started running his fingers through his hair. “Naomi is here. Okay, how do I look?”
“Oh for fuck’s sake.” Chris shoved us to the side so he could reach the cooler. “I’m not dealing with this shit tonight.” He opened his beer bottle and walked away while Dexter and I laughed and walked away too.
Chris, Dexter, and I found empty chairs off to the side of the patio watching people play darts. Rich walked over a few minutes later with a sad look on his face. He leaned back against the wall and sighed, waiting for one of us to ask what was wrong. We all just ignored him.
Dex finally gave in and, with a sigh, asked, “What’s wrong, Rich?”
Without looking up from the ground, Rich replied, “She said it’s girls' night. She won’t talk to me.” His voice was somber.
Dexter just shook his head and drank his beer.
Once we all had a few drinks, we were all talking, and Rich was out of his “Naomi rejection” slump.
That was until Naomi walked through the patio.
She held a hand up when Rich turned and started walking toward her.
“Not tonight. Be a good boy.” She ended her sentence with a wink, and Rich turned around with his jaw wide open.
My attention was fixated on Marlowe. Naomi held her hand, pulling Marlowe behind her as they walked into the house. Her orange hair was down and flowing around her face. She laughed and smiled brightly as her friend teased Rich. Marlowe looked so adorable.
“Did that just happen?” Rich asked.
Dexter tipped his can toward him. “Yeah man, it did.”
I could just see Marlowe and Naomi in the kitchen from where I sat on the patio. They chatted animatedly with each other. Since when was Marlowe this irresistible?
The girls took a shot of tequila, hooking their arms together to suck on the limes, laughing as they untangled from each other. Naomi grabbed Marlowe’s face and kissed her. I turned away and blew out a breath.
Fuck.
This was totally normal for Marlowe and Naomi. They were best friends and did that kind of shit all the time. Why did that feel so insane? Seeing Marlowe kiss someone else was killing me.
My thoughts immediately went to that night with Marlowe and Dex.
Seeing the two of them kiss didn’t kill me.
That was ecstasy. The need for that started to cement itself in my gut.
Leaning over, my shoulder touched Dexter’s.
Feeling his warmth was grounding, but it wasn’t enough.
I still saw Marlowe in the kitchen; she was laughing and dancing around, the spaghetti straps of her dress kept falling off one shoulder, and she had to keep adjusting them. This wasn’t going to work.
Reaching into my pocket, it was empty. No cigarettes and no pills.
“Shit,” I mumbled. Dexter looked at me in question.
“I’ll be back.” Standing, I went out into the yard to find something, anything to steady my thoughts.
That night was a one-off; it couldn’t happen again. Things are good now. I am good now.
Standing to the side, I saw some guys I knew from Nicki’s place. When they greeted me, a guy, I think his name was Evan, handed me two pills. Nodding, I tossed them back and stood with them, trying to make my mind focus on anything but Marlowe or Marlowe and Dexter together.
“We’re gonna head out, Bunny. Wanna come?” Evan pointed over his shoulder.
Turning around, my gaze landed on where the guys were sitting on the patio. Marlowe sat in the chair I vacated. Her orange hair was impossible to miss even in the dim lights of the patio. She was smiling at Dexter while he talked. A chill ran over me, but I was frozen where I stood.
“Did you hear me?” Evan clapped me on the shoulder.
Wherever they were going, I needed to go too because there was no way I could handle this right now. “Yeah. Sure.” Turning back to the patio, I shouted, “I’m heading out, guys!” All four of them just looked at me, confused. I rushed to catch up with Evan before any of them could catch me.
My cell phone started ringing. When I pulled it out, Dexter’s name appeared on the front screen. Flipping it open, I answered, “Yeah?”
“Where are you going?” he asked, concerned.
“With Evan, I’ll be home later. Don’t worry.”
“Who is Evan?”
I hung up before answering him.
“Hey, any of you have a cigarette?” I asked the group as we walked down the street.
The guy behind me- I didn’t know his name. Handed me one and a lighter. I lit it, taking a long inhale. It tasted different. It didn’t have a gold filter. It wasn’t my usual brand. I shrugged it off and kept walking.
I woke in a cold sweat, tears running down my face. The nightmares had been getting worse lately. The only time I slept through the night was when I had pills to do it.
Rubbing my eyes, I blinked open. Only brown-hued light shone through stained blinds on a window to my right. The room was mostly empty. There was a table with two camping chairs on one side and a plaid couch against the far wall. Brown and cream carpet covered the floor.
A sudden chill rushed over my body, and I realized I had no idea where I was.
“Hello?” I called out. I tried to look around the room to see if there was anyone else in there with me. I had no recollection of how I got here in this house on this ratty-ass mattress. “What the fuck?”
“Bunny, shhh. Go back to sleep.” Nicki was lying next to me.
My arms reached over, shaking her to wake her up. “Nicki, wake up, where are we?”
Pushing herself up, she looked at me like my face was twisted sideways. “Evan’s house, Bunny, we’ve been here all night. Jesus, relax.” She lay back down, trying to pull me with her. I resisted, adjusting my jacket.
Standing up from the mattress, my feet carried me to the front door. Stepping out into the sun, I started walking back home.