Chapter 11 #2
“It don’t matter. The nigga ain’t here, right? So, he old news in my book,” he said, stepping inside my room and making himself comfortable at the foot of my messy bed.
I massaged my stiff neck with my index finger before pushing a sigh past my lips.
“You don’t get it. I’ve always had to prove myself.
Whether it’s in the boardroom or the bedroom.
Shit is different for people like you. There are people lined up waiting to give you anything you want.
Whereas somebody like me has to beg and fight for a nigga to treat me right and to be seen. ”
“I’ve always seen you,” he admitted.
My drifting eyes flashed up to meet his. “What did you just say?”
“You heard me.”
My head shook in protest. “No, I don’t think I did.”
“The way you glow whenever you talk about something you’re passionate about, or the sexy way you move your body to music, the way your eyes glisten when you’re lost in thought.
You don’t even know you’re the fuckin’ center of attention to every nigga within a few feet of your presence.
I see everything about you. And if I’m bein’ honest, I always have. ”
I could feel my cheeks burning. As bad as I wanted to sink into the floor, I couldn’t move. A sudden paralysis overcame me from the roots of my scalp to the soles of my feet. His words had rendered a bitch completely speechless.
“I—I don’t know what to say... I don’t think I’ve ever really been seen before...by anyone,” I acknowledged.
“Well, I’ll say this, you got all my attention,” he said, biting down on his sexy ass bottom lip.
I felt a knot as large as a melon lodged in my throat. I was usually quick on my feet but his confession had me off balance. Had I suddenly been transported to an alternate universe where Hendrix and I actually enjoyed one another’s company?
I folded my arms across my chest. “You say all of that, yet you were horrible to me growing up, Hendrix.”
“Let me make it up to you. You wanna hug it out?” he joked before walking over and pulling me into his arms.
I giggled. “Boy, get your ass off me!”
I only put up a minimal fight before melting into his chest. My heart drummed at a million beats per minute as I tried to steady my breathing. Don’t lose your shit, Cass. Don’t lose your fuckin’ shit, I repeated over and over in my mind.
“But for the record, your ass was never nothin’ nice to me either,” he replied.
“Rightfully, so. You were and still are, an asshole when you wanna be.”
He shrugged his broad shoulders. “I’ll take that.”
I flashed him a gentle smile. “Thank you, Hendrix.”
“For what?”
“For checking on me and delivering me from my self-pitying bullshit.”
“I figured you delivered me from mine, so I should at least return the favor. That nigga don’t deserve you, so ain’t no need in wasting another tear on ‘em.”
“On period!”
He chuckled. “On period. So, what you about to do? Go to sleep?”
I shook my head. “I was actually thinking about taking a walk on the beach. You know, to clear my head.”
“You want some company? I could kick it with you if you not tired of me already.”
The remaining liquor in my system made me nod with a quickness. “Sure.”
My misery had acquired his company, and I was in no way ready to let go.
Never in my wildest dreams would I have pictured myself walking on the beach at two o’clock in the morning and revealing my demons to someone I usually loathed on any given day.
Emotionally, I was spiraling out of control, and I had no way of stopping it.
And yet, there I was, staring into his Hennessy brown eyes as he listened to me talk about my shitty love life.
The depths of his waves shimmered underneath the yellow moonlight.
I couldn’t help but stare at him because he was just that fine.
“You know, I thought this week was going to be a bust, but uh, I…I’ll admit, I’m enjoying my time here…with you,” I told him.
“You not so bad yourself once I was able to knock that glacier-sized chip off your shoulder.”
I frowned. “I didn’t have a—" He cut his eyes at me, silently calling me out on my bullshit. “Okay, fine. Yes. I had a big ass chip on my shoulder, but now you know why. You know I didn’t even have the balls to tell Lauryn the truth at first? I just told her today and told everybody else that he up and left with no explanation because in some sick, twisted ass way, I wish that’s what would’ve really happened. ”
“Why?”
“Honestly?” I asked.
“That’s the only way I want you to give it to me.”
“I can’t take the embarrassment and everybody forming their opinions and feeling sorry for me. I’m not a charity case, you know?”
He bobbed his head. “I get it. Trust me, I do.”
“It’s just, when I love, I love hard. And it always bites me in the ass. It may not be right away, but it always does.”
“There’s nothing wrong with loving hard. That’s what you supposed to do.”
“I’ve never had a problem falling in love, I just don’t need a nigga pretending that he give a fuck about me or my well-being when he don’t. And because of that right there, there are a lot of people and things that’ll never get a second of my time again, him included.”
“I’ma let you in on a little secret. Niggas don’t fuckin’ abandon the heart of someone they truly love, okay? They only abandon the people they were using.”
I swallowed hard. His words hit me like a fuckin’ Mack truck. “Damn,” I mumbled, choking back tears. “I’m a complicated ass puzzle. I’m aware that I’m probably missing a few pieces that will never be found, too. Sometimes, I just think maybe I’m better off by myself.”
“You just gotta find the nigga who brings your missing pieces to the table, that’s all.”
My eyes drifted across his face in surprise. “When the fuck did you get so wise?”
“I’ve always known this. If you bothered to talk to me, then maybe you’d know.”
I rolled my eyes. “That goes both ways, but okay.”
“You know one thing I’ve learned about you?”
“What’s that?”
“You always have to be right.”
I shot him a disapproving brow. “No, I don’t.”
“Yes, you do. Even right now, you’re trying to argue with me about why you should be right when you should really just fuckin’ listen. If you just kept that pretty ass mouth shut and listened half as much as you talked, your hardheaded ass might learn something.”
His remark about my mouth made me bring my fingers to my lips before I let out a sharp exhale. I knew I had trouble admitting my faults, but who didn’t? “Can you not come at my neck right now?” I asked.
“I’m not. I’m just being honest with you. You ain’t never had a real nigga and it shows, but don’t worry. All that’s about to change.”
I twisted my neck in his direction as we approached our villa and stepped inside. “You care to elaborate on what that means?”
He turned his body to mine, causing me to press my back against the door. “It means I know what you need.”
“And what’s that?” I asked, arching a questioning brow with my head cocked to the side.
His hands absorbed my hips as he leaned into my ear. “Good dick and advice,” he said, leaning down to let his lips gently dominate mine. “Sleep well, Cassidy.”
He escaped to his room, leaving me with my mouth gaped open and a pair of soaked panties. Just before the sun started to peak through the dark sky, I drifted off to sleep with thoughts of Hendrix dancing through my head. Maybe his fine ass wasn’t so bad after all.