Chapter 20
Winnie
It's not the murmuring or the low voices that cut through my deep sleep and wake me. It’s not the bright light shining a few feet away from me either.
No, it's the smell of leather, bike exhaust, and a spicy maleness that makes me want to curl up next to the source and inhale deeply. The smell is so familiar that for a few seconds, I let my mind pretend I’m safe again.
I let the memories of those times I was happy, of when Finn would wrap his arms around me and hold me tight.
Back before the club and all the expectations.
I want to hold on to it, to not rise to the surface, but I can feel the voices getting louder, my senses coming back.
Soon, my protective bubble will burst, and I’ll be faced with reality.
“I think she’s waking up,” a voice I recognize says, and there’s movement underneath me. My body shifts, and the warmth I had been feeling seeps into my bones.
“Win? Come on, Daisy, open your eyes for me.”
Only one person calls me that. Only one person smells this good, and only on one person could I sleep for hours at a time while his chest cuddled me. “Finn.”
Warm lips press against the top of my head. “Wake up, Win. Please.”
Finn. Here. My eyes snap open and right into the intense blue gaze of the man I left five years ago.
Shifting, I realize I’m lying half sprawled across Finn’s body, my hand resting on his chest and my legs tucked in between us.
My heart races, and panic overtakes me. I practically fling myself off of him.
“Win, easy.” His voice is calm, controlled, while I’m freaking out on the inside. How did I get here? I go to stand, but my knees quickly buckle, and Finn’s hands are reaching for me in the next second. “Easy. They drugged you; you’ll probably be unsteady.”
“Drugged me?” My mind feels groggy while I’m trying to make sense of everything. The last thing I remember was sitting down to eat lunch with Marco.
“Who? What?” My mind spins, and my hands run through my hair. I feel like I’m going to be sick. My eyes land on the trash can, and I reach for it just in time to heave the contents of my stomach into it.
Finn kneels beside me, one of his hands going to my hair, holding it back, as the other runs in circles over my back. “You’re okay, baby. Get it all out.”
I don’t think his soft, sweet voice is reserved for me, at least I don’t understand why it would be, and I’m going to pretend that I don’t care.
I shouldn’t care about anything where this man is concerned.
The door to the office opens and closes, but I can’t look to see who it is, my face still hovering over the trash bin.
“She’ll be fine,” Finn says. “I’m sure it's the drugs in her system.”
“Hope said it could happen. Here’s some water.” Lyric’s voice reaches me, and I instantly feel a little more relaxed.
Once I’m convinced I’m good, I fall back onto my butt, bringing my knees up under my chin. My friend’s eyes land on me, and mine instantly start to fill with tears.
“Lyric.”
She smiles, but it's watery, and reaches out her hand, resting it over my arm. “You scared the shit out of me, Win. I hadn’t heard from you in months, and I was scared.”
I nod, knowing exactly how she feels. The night I saved Marco’s son was the same night my world stopped. I became a prisoner, dressed in silk and pretending to play a part that I never wanted. “They took my phone.”
Fear claws its way back up my chest, gripping my lungs and making it hard to breathe. I feel Finn’s body stiffen next to me, his eyes running all over my body. I shift, pushing myself to stand, and he’s right there too, his hand reaching out to steady me. “I got it,” I tell him.
Finn laughs darkly, his hand curling around my elbow. “Humor me, Daisy. It's either I help you, or I hunt down Bianchi and murder him.”
Rolling my eyes, I let him help me stand. I can tell Lyric is taking this all in and probably psychoanalyzing the entire situation. I’m sure we’ll discuss it later, but for now, I’m going to let my ex support me at my side because my legs do feel shaky and my stomach still rolls when I take a step.
“You said it's the drugs in my system.”
Finn’s dark brow frowns. “They drugged you to keep you compliant so they could get you here.”
I glance at Lyric, who nods her head. Marco, that narcissistic jackass. I’m not surprised, but I feel violated. Still, though, it doesn’t account for why I’m here and how the Bianchi family knows the Rebels of the Undead.
“Why am I here?” I glance between Finn and Lyric; the latter glances at my ex for direction.
“Prez wants to talk to her too,” Finn says, and instantly my insides shrink.
“What’s going to happen to me?” I ask, my tone low and cutting. Finn’s head whips to me, and his eyes flash with concern and confusion.
“Nothing. You’re not in danger here. Bianchi’s men are gone,” he explains, but the fear and the worry still sit in my stomach.
I’d been around the Rebels enough to know that when I left how I did, I shouldn’t be allowed back here.
I’m not an old lady, or even a girlfriend.
So either I’m a prisoner, or I’ve been traded because of the secrets I know about the mafia coup.
“I swear, I don’t know anything that you probably don’t already know.”
Finn stops moving and turns me in his arms, his hands on my shoulders.
I’m forced to look into his eyes, eyes that darken to midnight and fill with anger when he sees the fear in mine.
“You aren’t in danger here, Win. The club takes care of our own, and no matter how many miles you put between us, you’re still one of us.
Prez, Jester, and the guys want to tell you what we know about why you’re here for our protection, and we want to hear from you about how you got tangled up with the mafia. That's it, I swear.”
I want to trust him. My body sways toward him, remembering that he used to be a safe place. Then the lies and the silent nights alone flood back, along with the reasons I left here. All of the reasons I don’t trust Finn Kinsella. Nodding my head, I step out of his hold.
“I’ll hear what they have to say and answer what I can. Then I want to leave.”
Lyric sucks in her breath, and her eyes water again.
But I let her grab my hand, grounding me to the here and now.
If I think too much about my time with Marco, I know I’ll spiral.
Finn says nothing, but I notice the way his jaw hardens, his cheekbones so pronounced and sharp.
Even with the new thickness of his light beard, I can still see that scar on his cheek tighten.
I hate that I notice it, and that even with one swipe from my eyes, I can tell that in the last five years, he’s become even more handsome.
Finn’s free hand, the one not guiding me out the door, clenches into a fist. He won’t look at me, but I can feel the heat coming off his body from the anger he’s holding back.
I know everything about him, and in a short amount of time, all of those memories have come rushing back.
Even worse, my body reacts to him, and I need to shut that down.
The hallway is empty when we step into it, and the entire clubhouse is quieter than I remember it being.
Once we get to the common room, I see why.
Every member is sitting, conversing with each other in serious tones.
I notice that the club whores aren’t roaming around, and the bar doesn’t look to be up and running either.
As soon as Finn steps into the room, everyone glances at him, and the hushed conversations cut off.
Prez walks over to us, and I fight the instinct to shrink back.
As if sensing my panic, Lyric squeezes my hand.
Finn catches the movement out of the corner of his eye, and his jaw tightens.
“Is she ready to talk?” Prez asks, either Lyric or Finn, I’m not sure, but his hardened eyes stay on me.
“Ready? No,” Lyric almost scoffs, and I want to shake her for talking to the president of the Rebels of the Undead this way. I could never imagine being bold enough, and it bothers me how I’m reverting to the shy and nervous girl I had been.
“No,” I find myself saying, needing to stand up for myself even if it terrifies me. Even if this man terrifies me. “I don’t think I’ll ever be ready, but it sounds like you need information from me. And I sure as hell want to know why I’m here.”
Prez’s lip twitches, and I’m almost knocked to my knees when he smiles and laughs. “At least you’re honest, sweetheart. I think we all want the same thing. All the brothers have been concerned.”
He catches me off guard with that statement. My mouth snaps shut, and I wipe all emotion off my face before I believe for one minute that any of the brothers have been worried about me. Prez turns back to the room.
“Church!”
Everyone gets up to file into the room. Lyric and Finn lead me in first, and my heartbeat kicks up the second I move through the door.
The room is not at all how I expected it to be.
I was never allowed in, and the only time I ever heard about it was from Finn.
Surprisingly, it's clean, the furniture is minimal, with a large oak table and enough chairs for each of the brothers who hold a seat at the table. There is one softer, cushioned chair that I’m ushered over to and sat down on.
“It's reserved for the ladies,” Lyric whispers to me and winks. I’m about to ask where she’ll sit, but then hold back when Karma reaches for her, sitting her on his lap.
The gesture is intimate and shows the status of their relationship, which has obviously only grown and flourished while I’ve been gone.