Chapter 20 #3
The room is quiet while they each watch me, probably wondering if this is the calm before my storm.
Surprisingly, I kept my voice steady and strong, but the anxiousness, the fear, and the anger weren’t too far behind.
For now, I’m swallowing it down. I need to take care of myself before I can save myself.
“I can do that.” Lyric nods, and the approving gleam in her eyes makes my lips twitch.
Prez clears his throat. “Inspector will take out the trackers. Send one of the prospects to get the suture kit and antiseptic. Let the gate know to expect whoever Doc manages to scrounge up. Karma, Dodger, and Squirrel, let's convene after. Church dismissed.”
Without waiting for questions or further comments, Prez swings the gavel down.
A few of the members book it out of there, having their instructions, and a few are slower to get up.
What I did not expect was the number of brothers who patted my shoulder or gave me a one-arm hug.
By the time the room is empty, tears are swimming in my eyes.
Blowing out a shaky breath, I fall into Lyric’s arms easily.
“Let's get you comfortable,” she mumbles, clearly holding back her own set of emotions. Bullet is the only one still waiting outside the room when we step out. His familiar hazel eyes roam over me, the gesture protective rather than judging.
“Is there anything I can get you, Winnie?”
I shake my head, feeling more fatigued after church. “No, I’m good.”
He nods and scratches the back of his neck. “I missed you around here. So did the others.”
“I doubt that very much, considering my standing when I left him,” I scoff, my arms wrapping around my waist.
“Dodger has things to own up to. Regardless, he’s my cousin. I saw what he was doing and how it affected you. I chose to stay loyal to him, going at his speed. I should have watched out more for your feelings, and I’m sorry I ignored you rather than stepped up.” His head bows with his apology.
I’m stricken on the spot, not used to having these big, gruff men acknowledge me without Finn around, much less apologizing for things from the past. I glance at Lyric, who looks just as shocked as me.
“I don’t know what to say, Bullet.”
“Nothing to say, sweetheart. I don’t expect to be forgiven.
I just want you to know that this time, I’ve got your back.
We’ll get Bianchi, and I’ll do whatever I can to help keep you safe.
” He glances at me, his eyes solemn. I believe him.
Maybe that makes me naive, but I can feel his sincerity.
It doesn’t erase the past, but right now in the present, I think he’s telling the truth.
There’s a throat cleared behind us, and when I look over my shoulder, I see a few of the other brothers watching, listening, and nodding in agreement. “Thanks, Bullet.”
Lyric, seeming to sense my need to run, slips her arm around me again. “I’ll show you where you can relax,” she says as she leads me down the hallway and toward a set of rooms I’m more than familiar with. My heart starts to ache for a whole new reason.
“I don’t know if Dodger would appreciate me in his room,” I point out to her.
Lyric scoffs and rolls her eyes. “Win, that room is the most comfortable room in the whole place. Besides, Dodger doesn’t stay here. He lives out of the compound.”
“Oh.” My gaze drops, and my stomach coils. “I should have expected that, I guess.”
Even though the words come easily, it does nothing to stop the pain that laces through my heart.
It's been five years. I was the one who walked away and ended us. Still, knowing that Finn eventually settled down enough to build a house off the compound irritates me. It hurts to admit that he clearly wanted an old lady, probably even a family, but it just wasn’t what he wanted with me.
A soft laugh comes from Lyric, and my gaze shifts back to her. With a shake of her head, she opens the door for me. “You two” is all she mumbles before stepping inside after me.
The memories that hit me as I walk in are as painful as they are beautiful.
I still remember the day Finn showed me all the changes and upgrades he made so I’d be comfortable.
It was just a starter for us while we settled in.
While we grew and saved for the house we would one day have.
The echoes of our laughs, our talks, our dreams haunt the space around me.
Everything inside of my body clenches tight, holding the eventual pain that comes with those thoughts at bay.
“It will be a while until Rosie can get here. You should take a bath. Relax,” Lyric says, giving me a side hug. “I’m so happy to see you, even though it’s under these circumstances.”
“I’m just happy to be out of that house. To be alive,” I whisper back and feel her hold tighten.
“You’re a warrior, Win. I’ll be back. Rest. That's the best you can do right now for your body and for your mind.”
I salute her and wink. “Yes, Doc.”
With a wiggle of her fingers, she slips out the door. My first instinct is to flip the lock. To create a barrier between me and anyone on the other side of the door. A habit I’d formed after living months in Marco’s mansion. My fingers clench at my side until my nails are digging into the skin.
“They aren’t them,” I whisper into the empty space. “You’re safe.”
Suddenly, the weight of the day, of the revelations spilled, hits me hard.
My eyes feel heavy. I want nothing more than to burrow under the covers and rest. Lying down on the bed, my eyes lift up, searching the ceiling to see if it's still there. My breath catches when I see it. Still carved into the molding, like he promised it always would be. F +W. A ghost of a smile touches my lips before my eyes close. I’m safe.