Chapter 27
Finn
Sunlight touches my arm, stirring the shadows in the room and signaling that the world is waking up.
A small groan falls from my lips, mostly because it feels like I just fell asleep a few hours ago.
Once Winnie let me back inside her body, I carried her to my room and kept her body pinned under mine until dawn was breaking.
We had five years to make up for. She felt the same about it as I did, judging by the red nail marks on my back and the red bruises on my chest. Not that I’m complaining.
I’ll wear these marks like a badge of honor.
After that phone call with Prez, all I could picture the rest of the night was the look she gave me when I called her my old lady.
It was full of hurt and anger, and once again, I was hit with the realization of the depth of the damage I’ve done.
For the rest of my life, I’ll work to fix what I broke and earn her trust back.
Having Winnie back in my arms only proved one thing, we are meant to be together.
My arm slides out across the bed, hoping to touch her bare, warm skin, only to encounter cold sheets. For a second, my heart stops, and the same panic I felt that morning she left me five years ago rises in my chest. I spring out of bed and grab a pair of jeans from the closet.
“Win!” I call her name, feeling my stomach sink further when she doesn’t answer. I sprint from the room and down the hallway, checking my office quickly before heading to the living room. “Winnie!” I call again, finding the living room and then the kitchen empty.
Fear flares in my chest as I take the stairs up to the guest room she’s claimed as hers, two at a time.
I swallow down the rage that threatens to bubble up, as each room and the bathroom turn up empty.
She wouldn’t leave. Winnie may be mad at me or hate me, but she’s smart.
She knows she could be in danger; she wouldn’t leave.
My hands pull at my hair as my eyes take in her empty room, the still-made-up bed, and dark closet.
A glint catches my eye through the window.
My head swivels to look closer, just in time to see Winnie walking the path down to the gazebo.
Shit. The instant relief at finding her settles in my bones.
I waste no time in rushing back down the stairs and outside, taking the same trail to the gazebo.
She must have woken up way earlier than me.
Her hair is smooth and pulled back into a braid.
And she’s dressed, wearing a pink maxi dress with a long-sleeve gray cardigan against the slight chill.
She senses me as I get closer, her head snapping up, and our eyes collide.
I watch as hers get bigger, like she can sense the ebbing panic rolling off me in waves.
I come to a stop in front of her, my chest tightening while my gaze trails over her face.
She’s beautiful as always, even with a shred of sadness in her eyes.
“You left,” I manage to say, the words sounding stupid now to my own ears. Her chest rises and falls heavily before she nods. Her gaze flicks down to the floor before coming back to mine.
“I needed to think.”
I blow out a deep breath, reining in my first impulse to gather her in my arms. Every inch of me wants to reach for her, to kiss her and make her mine again. “I couldn’t find you. It felt, it felt like that day all over again.”
She inhales sharply, biting her lip, her eyes swimming with tears.
“I’m sorry I left without telling you. Back then, I needed to escape.
I already felt like you didn’t care if I was around.
You were never there with me anyway. I thought nothing could fix what happened, and I was so tired of trying. ”
“You don’t owe me an apology, Win,” my voice rasps.
“I deserved it. At first, I panicked because I thought someone had taken you. That one of my enemies had come after us. Until I saw your key in the bowl. Then I realized you left on your own, willingly. I was going to come after you, but my phone rang.”
“Always the club,” she whispers, and it sounds depreciating.
I shake my head, running my hand over my jaw.
“The thing was, they wouldn’t have cared if I blew off church to go after you.
I didn’t learn until after that Prez had called me in to chew my ass about lying to you about the runs.
Jocelyn had told him about your conversation.
It was the first time I had a very honest talk with Prez and my brothers about you.
They all knew I screwed up, but it wasn’t until you didn’t come weeks later that they saw me spiraling and realized exactly how fucked I was. ”
Winnie sits next to me, her frame stiff, but she’s listening. That's all I can ask of her. “They’ve been different since I’ve been back.”
“I had a lot of growing up to do, Win. They held me accountable to be the man I wanted to be for you, and not continue to be the asshole I had been. I had held back from them, and for the first time, I wasn’t just being honest with myself but with my brothers as well.
I set them straight about your role in my life, and that everything I had been doing for you was to make you happy because I loved you.
They realized, too, that they had failed you as well,” I tell her.
Tears slide down her cheeks, and she brushes them away with her sleeve just as fast. Her head ducks down, glancing away from me. “I just thought they didn’t like me.”
“It was never you, Winnie. I was the problem, and I handled a lot of things wrong.”
She glances up at me again. Her lips, swollen and red from my kisses and bites last night.
“I want to believe you. It would be so easy to fall. I can’t agree with the plan because the past hurts too much.
It feels so reminiscent of the accusations that I’m trapping you, or forcing you to do what you don’t want to. ”
“Do you regret what happened last night?” I ask, keeping my gaze intently on hers.
She shakes her blonde head, her top teeth biting down on her bottom lip. “No.”
I nod, feeling the riot of emotions inside my chest, until my heart is thudding against my chest. “Will you let me show you something?”
We stare at each other for seconds, me holding my breath the entire time until she nods her head slightly. “Okay.”
Reaching for her hand, I twine my fingers around hers and lead her out of the gazebo toward the house.
She follows behind me until we get back to my bedroom.
Only then do I let go of her hand before ducking into my closet.
On the top shelf, pushed way in the back, is a white box I haven’t looked at in five years.
My fingers shake slightly as I reach for it, taking it down, ignoring the inch of dust on the top.
Winnie’s brow arches as she eyes the box.
I move closer, and she backs up like it might bite her. A smile tugs at my lips.
“Open it,” I say, handing it to her.
Hesitantly, she steps forward, her fingers grazing over the lid.
I watch her every movement, every shadow in her eyes, and every tug on her lips by her teeth.
I see when she makes the choice to be brave.
With a huff, she slides her hands under the lid and pops it off.
The teal blue tissue paper lands on the floor next to the top, and then her fingers touch the smooth, polished, black leather.
Property of Dodger is patched on the back, a glaring symbol of who the cut belongs to.
Her eyes jump to mine, confusion written all over her face. “What is this?”
Setting the box on the bed, I reach for the smaller leather cut, holding it out in my hands.
“I had it made for you back then. I thought once I found you after you left that I’d explain and give it to you.
It's been waiting for you ever since,” I tell her, before flipping the cut to the front and showing her the delicate stitching.
Winnie inhales sharply, her fingers running over the white, cursive writing, and the little flower symbol of her nickname that's wrapped in the last letter. “Daisy.”
“You’ve always been my daisy. You’ve always been mine.
I knew it back then; I was just a scared jackass.
I can’t tell you enough how sorry I am. I’ve wanted you since we first met.
I want you to be mine in the eyes of the club as well,” I rush to tell her, to explain just how much I want to be tied to her for life.
“What I said back then was stupid. It was fear and anger at myself. I thought I wasn’t good enough for you or that you deserved better. ”
“Finn,” she sobs my name and holds the cut to her chest, crying. “God, Finn. Don’t you get it? You were all I ever wanted. I love you. My dreams were of you and me.”
I feel fucking stupid that I ever let this amazing woman walk out of my life. I love you. Her words feel like small, tiny bullets to the heart. Ones I’d gladly take for her. She belongs to me, and right now she’s holding that property patch like she believes it, too.
My fingers dip into the pocket of the cut, and close around the familiar circular, metal band. My gaze finds hers as I pull it out, and I watch her mouth form a silent o. “I’ve had this tucked away in the pocket for just as long.”
Another tear falls down her cheek, and I reach forward to brush it away. “I’ll do whatever you want with this situation, Win. Know that no matter what, it doesn’t matter what plan we go with, I will protect you with my life.”
“I know,” she answers, nodding her head and wiping under her eyes.
Slowly, I slide to one knee in front of her.
Her breath catches, and her hands tighten further into the leather she’s holding.
“Will you be mine, Winnie? Whether it's for now or forever is up to you. Just know I’ve always been yours. I want to be yours, to keep dreaming with you, and to keep making all those dreams come true for the rest of my life. Marry me.”