Chapter 21
Chapter Twenty-One
Anthea
I woke to warmth, my consciousness drifting back through layers of fog. The first thing I felt was a strong arm across my waist. I opened my eyes to find my face pressed against a hard, bare chest.
I looked up. Silas's jaw. Still asleep, breathing steady. I glanced around—this was the room we'd shared six years ago. Nothing had changed. It looked exactly as I'd left it. My old skincare products still sat on the vanity, packaging pristine, though I knew they had to be expired by now.
I sighed. This was Silas's doing. Otherwise, the manor staff would've tossed them long ago.
My gaze drifted back to Silas, to the scratches on his shoulder.
Last night came flooding back—those thugs at the bar, Silas appearing like some goddamn hero, the frenzy in the car.
.. Heat rushed to my face. We'd had sex.
And I'd started it. Christ, what was I thinking?
I tried to pull away, but his arm locked tighter.
"Don't." His voice came out rough, sleep-worn.
I froze.
"You're awake?" My voice sounded just as wrecked. "You... you can let go now."
"Don't want to." Short. Commanding.
He pressed my head deeper into his chest. I felt his lips brush my hair, a soft kiss.
"You know what?" He breathed in my scent, then spoke, voice heavy with something suppressed. "These six years, I kept having visions of you. Sometimes you'd be sleeping next to me, but when I reached for you, the bed was always empty. I couldn't tell what was real anymore. Until you came back..."
His words stunned me. My heart clenched. "Visions?"
I thought of the silver at his temples, the necklace made from my ashes hanging around his neck. The pieces were falling into place.
"It's fine now." His tone was casual, like it was nothing. "After you showed up, they stopped. I sleep better. Don't need the doctors anymore."
I stopped struggling. Held him back instead. I didn't regret last night—I'd just panicked when I first woke up. Now, feeling his steady heartbeat, I felt safe.
When had I started softening toward him? When he replaced my apartment windows? When he dealt with Marcus? At the amusement park when I made him throw away that necklace?
Maybe all of it. Maybe even earlier.
"Let go," I said, squirming. "I want to look at you."
He loosened his hold slowly, dark gray eyes on mine. I reached up, fingers touching the silver at his temple. Those strands that used to be dark brown, now stark white. A dull ache bloomed in my chest. I hadn't been the only one suffering these six years.
I kissed his temple. He stilled, then rolled me beneath him. Sunlight caught his face, turning his lashes gold. Fire burned in his eyes, alongside something that made my heart skip—tenderness.
"Anthea." He said my name low. "You feel sorry for me."
Before I could answer, he kissed me.
His tongue traced my lower lip. My mouth opened instinctively. But he didn't rush in—just caught my lip between his teeth, tugging, releasing, sucking.
"Silas..." My voice muffled against him.
Finally, he deepened the kiss. His tongue swept in, claiming my breath, tangling with mine. Slow. So slow every exchange of saliva sent shivers down my spine. When he pulled back, we were both breathless. His forehead pressed to mine, lips still grazing my mouth.
I was tangled up again with this man who'd hurt me, who I'd loved and hated. I didn't know if it was right or wrong. But strangely, all I felt was joy and satisfaction. No fear.
Then my phone alarm went off. My heart jumped—today I was supposed to meet Julian. We'd both been busy, so we'd pushed it to this morning at ten.
I'd wanted him to help me fight for Olei's custody. But now...
I put some space between Silas and me. I'd made my decision.
"I need to go out today," I said, watching him.
His eyes sharpened. "Where?"
"To see Julian." I studied his reaction. "It's business."
His face darkened, but he controlled it, settling into reluctant calm.
"If it's business, I won't think anything of it."
I blinked. That wasn't like him.
"You're not jealous?"
"I am." He gave a tight smile. "But I don't want to control you like before. You have your life, your friends. You have the right to see whoever you want. I'll learn to deal with it."
His words moved me.
Six years ago, Silas would never have said that. He hadn't allowed me near any man but him. But now he'd changed so much.
"Thank you," I said softly. "For changing for me."
He didn't answer. Just leaned down and kissed my forehead.
"Come back early." His voice was low, warm. "Olei and I will wait for you for lunch."
I got up smiling, washed up quickly, then took a cab to the café Julian had suggested. I pushed through the door five minutes early. Thank God I'd set my alarm with time to spare.
Julian was already there, in the back corner. As I approached, I realized he looked terrible—dark circles under his eyes, nothing like the sharp lawyer I knew.
"Julian?" I sat across from him, frowning. "What happened? Did you not sleep?"
He looked up, eyes exhausted. He adjusted his gold-rimmed glasses. After a long silence, he spoke.
"Anthea." His voice was rough. "I need to ask you something."
"What?" His guarded expression confused me.
He hesitated, then lowered his voice. "Is there someone dangerous around you?"
"Why are you asking?" My mind went straight to Silas.
Julian took a deep breath, like he was steeling himself.
"Valentine's night, on my way home, two guys—looked Russian—jumped me.
" His voice shook. "They blocked my car, dragged me into an alley, beat the shit out of me.
Then, some guy warned me to stay away from you.
I think he was the one who ordered it. But my eyes were swollen shut, I'd lost my glasses—I couldn't see his face. "
My hand gripped the table edge.
"That's not all." Julian's expression grew darker. "Since then, I've been followed. Sometimes a black car, sometimes guys in black masks. And they've been sending things to my house—dead rats, razor blades, other disgusting shit."
Fear and anger filled his blue eyes.
"I went to the police. Nothing. These guys are pros—no evidence, no case."
Ice filled my stomach.
Could it be Silas? He had motive and means. Six years ago, he'd punished a guard just for making me smile. And now, because I'd had dinner with Julian on Valentine's Day, he'd do this?
But I immediately rejected the thought. No. Impossible. Since we'd reconnected, Silas had been restrained, respectful. He wouldn't do something this juvenile and violent.
"Anthea?" Julian's voice pulled me back. "Do you know something?"
I shook my head. "Julian, did you piss someone off with a case?"
He gave a bitter laugh.
"My reputation's solid. Even when clients lose, they don't blame me. And opposing parties don't usually break the law like this. I can't think of anyone..." He paused. "Though the last couple days, they've backed off a bit. Not sure why."
"Maybe they're scared of pushing you too far," I said, trying to comfort him. "Keep it up, and they'll slip up eventually."
Julian nodded weakly, the shadow in his eyes remaining. But he collected himself, pulling a stack of files from his briefcase and sliding them toward me.
"This is what I've prepared—for fighting for Olei's custody." He switched to professional mode. "I've reviewed cases, consulted colleagues who specialize in this, asked my old professor. Even though the other side has resources, we're not without a shot—"
"It's fine, Julian. I'm sorry." I cut him off, voice guilty.
He froze, confusion flooding his face. "What?"
"I'm not fighting for custody anymore." I looked at him. "All this work you did... thank you, really. I'm sorry I wasted your time."
Julian looked like he'd been struck by lightning.
"Why?" His voice went sharp, disbelieving. "You were so determined before. What happened?"
I looked down at my coffee cup.
How could I explain? That Silas and I had made up? That I might be... falling for him again?
"Things changed," I said, deciding not to hide it from Julian after all he'd done for me. "Olei's father agreed to let me see him anytime. He won't keep us apart. So I don't need legal action anymore. And... we've reconciled. We might be starting over."
Julian stared at me for a long time, emotions swirling in his eyes—confusion, hurt, and a hint of anger.
"One more thing." I decided to lay it all out. "Julian, I don't... I don't have feelings for you. I know you've been good to me. I'm grateful for everything you've done. But I don't want to mislead you."
Julian was a good friend, the gentle older brother I'd known since childhood. But that was all. Julian said nothing. Head down, I couldn't read his expression. Light music played in the café, afternoon sun streaming through the windows, casting dappled shadows on the table.
"I see. Guess I never had a chance." He looked up with a bitter smile. "It's okay, Anthea. Don't feel guilty. You can't force feelings. If he makes you happy, I'll be happy for you."
Julian's words made my eyes sting. He really was a good person.
"Thank you, Julian," I said softly, voice firm. "You'll find someone better. You'll find your own happiness."
He smiled. Said nothing.
We talked a bit longer about other things, then I stood to leave. Julian's expression was broken, but I knew I'd made the right choice.
I couldn't keep stringing him along, giving him hope only to cause him pain.