Chapter 15
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
"She's beautiful."
Alpin's hands tightened on his cup. He'd been watching her, trying not to look obvious about it. Failing, apparently, if Callum's knowing grin was any indication.
"Aye?" Alpin said shortly.
"So are ye going tae stand here all night starin' or are ye actually goin’ tae go tae her."
Alpin was already moving, crossing the space between them like the floor was on fire.
He made it perhaps three steps before young Hamish intercepted her.
Alpin stopped cold, his jaw clenching as the warrior––barely twenty, eager as a puppy––bowed and offered Mhairi his hand.
"May I have this dance, miss?"
Mhairi glanced toward Alpin. Their eyes met across the space, and he saw the question there. Saw her uncertainty.
He wanted to cross the room. To claim her hand before anyone else could.
But that would look desperate. Possessive. And Mhairi had already pulled away from him once that day because she feared bringing trouble to his clan.
So, Alpin forced himself to nod. To stay where he was.
To watch as Mhairi placed her hand in young Hamish's and let herself be led onto the floor.
"Well," Callum said mildly beside him. "That's unfortunate."
"Shut up."
"Ye could've just––"
"I said shut up."
The musicians started playing again. A traditional reel, fast and cheerful. Hamish was a decent dancer, light on his feet despite his size. And Mhairi moved with him easily, her steps sure even though she'd claimed to be terrible at it.
She'd lied, Alpin realized. Or perhaps she'd just needed the right partner. The right encouragement.
His hands curled into fists at his sides.
"Ye're goin' tae break that cup if ye keep grippin' it like that," Fergus observed.
Alpin looked down. He was indeed still holding his ale, his knuckles white around the metal. He forced himself to loosen his grip.
"I'm fine."
"Ye look like ye want tae murder young Hamish."
"I dinnae want tae murder anyone."
"Liar." Callum was outright laughing now. "Ye're starin' at him like he just insulted yer maither."
"He's holdin' her too close."
"He's barely touchin' her at all. Look, his hand's proper on her waist, nae wanderin' anywhere it shouldnae be. The lad kens better."
That was true.
Hamish was being perfectly respectful, keeping an appropriate distance even as they spun through the steps. But it didn’t matter. Because it should have been his hand on her waist. His hand she was holding.
Mine
"How long is this song?" he muttered.
It felt like an eternity.
Alpin forced himself to look away, to take a long drink of his ale, to engage in conversation with the council members nearby.
But his attention kept drifting back to the dance floor. To Mhairi's smile as Hamish said something that made her laugh. To the way her skirts swirled around her legs as she turned. To the careful distance she'd been maintaining from Alpin all evening.
She'd barely spoken to him since the afternoon. Had avoided his eyes during dinner. And now she was dancing with someone else while Alpin stood on the sidelines like a fool.
"She's afraid," Callum said quietly.
Alpin glanced at him. "What?"
"Mhairi. She's afraid." Callum nodded toward the dance floor. "Look at her. Really look."
Alpin did. And this time he saw past the smile, past the grace. Saw the tension in her shoulders.
The way her eyes kept darting toward the doors as if expecting Ashcombe to burst through at any moment. The way she held herself slightly apart even from Hamish, as though bracing for something terrible.
"She thinks she's bringin' danger tae us," Alpin said while still looking at her. "Tae me. So she's pullin' away because she thinks it'll help."
"Will it? Her faither wants her back. Ashcombe wants her back. Graham wants his money. And all of that puts us at risk." Callum's expression was serious now. "I dinnae agree with her reasonin', mind. But I understand it."
The song ended. Hamish bowed, Mhairi curtsied, and the lad reluctantly stepped away as another warrior immediately approached.
Alpin was moving before he consciously decided to.
He crossed the hall in long strides, reaching Mhairi just as the new suitor opened his mouth to ask for a dance.
"She's promised tae me," Alpin said.
The warrior––one of the older men, married with children––took one look at Alpin's face and wisely retreated.
Mhairi looked up at him, color flooding her cheeks. "Alpin."
"Dance with me."
"I just finished a dance."
"Please."
The word came out rougher than he'd intended. Almost desperate. But it had the desired effect. Mhairi's eyes softened, and she placed her hand in his.
The musicians struck up a new tune, slower this time, more intimate. A couple's dance rather than a group reel.
Alpin pulled Mhairi close, one hand settling at her waist, the other clasping hers. The position brought them near enough that he could smell the lavender from her hair.
"Ye look beautiful," he said quietly.
"Thank ye." Her voice was barely audible over the music.
They moved together in silence for several beats. Alpin guided her through the steps they'd practiced in his solar, and her body followed his lead with an ease that felt almost natural. As if they'd been dancing together for years instead of days.
"Why have ye been avoidin' me?" The question came out before he could stop it.
Mhairi's eyes dropped to his chest. "I havenae been daeing that."
"Daenae lie tae me, Mhairi. Please."
She was quiet for a long moment. Around them, other couples swirled past, lost in their own worlds. The hall was warm and bright, filled with music and laughter.
And Mhairi looked like she might shatter.
"I'm afraid," she finally whispered.
"Of me?"
"Nay. Never of ye." Her hand tightened in his. "Of what I'm bringin' tae yer clan. Tae ye. The letter from me faither."
"I dinnae give a damn about that letter."
"Ye should." Her voice cracked. "Ashcombe is camped at yer borders. Me faither wants me returned. Graham wants his coin. And all of it, all of this danger and complication, it's because of me."
Alpin spun her gently, bringing her back against him. "And?"
"And if I pull away, if I keep some distance between us, maybe it would be easier when––" She stopped.
"When what?"
"When ye realize I'm too much trouble and send me away."
The words hit him like a physical blow. Alpin's steps faltered, and he had to force himself to keep moving, to not stop in the middle of the dance floor and shake some sense into her.
"Mhairi," he said carefully. "Look at me."
She lifted her eyes to his.
"I'm nae sendin' ye away. Nae fer yer faither's threats, nae fer Ashcombe's demands, nae fer any reason unless ye choose tae leave on yer own. Dae ye understand?"
"But the danger––"
"Is mine tae decide about. Mine and me Council's and me warriors'." His hand at her waist pulled her closer, until there was barely any space between them at all. "But mostly mine. Because I'm the laird, and I decide what risks are worth takin'. And ye, Mhairi Munro, are worth every single one."
Tears shone in her eyes. "Ye cannae promise that. Ye dinnae ken what might happen."
"I ken exactly what might happen. Ashcombe might attack.
Yer faither might cause trouble. Graham might demand his coin.
" Alpin's voice dropped lower. "And I dinnae care.
Because none of that changes the fact that ye belong here now.
That ye're buildin' a life here. That ye're learnin' tae be a healer and makin' friends and namin' constellations on me battlements. "
A tear slipped down her cheek. Alpin caught it with his thumb, his touch gentle despite the intensity in his eyes.
"This is me choice," he continued. "Mine and yers. And ye pullin' away, tryin' tae protect me from consequences I've already accepted, that daesnae help anyone. It just hurts us both."
"I dinnae want tae hurt ye," Mhairi whispered.
"Then stop avoidin' me. Stop thinkin' ye're a burden when ye're anythin' but." He paused, searching her face. "Can ye dae that?"
She was quiet for several heartbeats. The music swelled around them, and other dancers moved past in a blur of color and movement.
Finally, Mhairi nodded. "Aye. I can try."
"That's all I'm askin'."
They continued dancing, and gradually Alpin felt the tension leave Mhairi's shoulders. Felt her lean into him slightly, trusting his lead, letting herself be held.
"What daes this mean?" she asked after a while. "Us. This." She gestured vaguely between them. "With everythin' gettin' so complicated––"
"Some things are simple," Alpin interrupted.
"What things?"
"This." He pulled her closer still, until they were dancing scandalously near for a public gathering.
"The way I feel when I look at ye. The way me chest goes tight when ye smile.
The way I cannae seem tae think about anythin' else, even when I'm supposed tae be plannin' defenses or reviewin' supply reports. "
Mhairi's breath caught. "Alpin..."
"I'm attracted tae ye, Mhairi. Deeply, completely attracted tae ye in every way that matters. And that's nae complicated at all. That's the simplest damn thing in me life right now."
Color flooded her cheeks, but she didn’t look away. "And the rest? The danger and the threats."
"We'll handle it. Taegether." His hand at her waist tightened briefly. "But dinnae ask me tae pretend I dinnae want ye. Because I willnae lie about that. Nae tae ye, nae tae anyone."
The music was slowing now, coming to an end. Around them, other couples were breaking apart, preparing for the next dance or heading toward the refreshment tables.
But Alpin and Mhairi stayed where they were, swaying slightly even as the final notes faded into silence.
"I'm attracted tae ye too," Mhairi finally said, so quietly he almost missed it. "In case that wasnae obvious from the way I stared at ye in the trainin' yard yesterday."
Despite everything, Alpin felt a grin spread across his face. "I noticed."
"I'm sure ye did."
"Hard tae miss when a beautiful lass cannae take her eyes off me bare chest."
"Ye were bein' deliberately distractin'."
"Was I?" He was full-on smiling now. "And there I thought I was just trainin'."
"Liar." But she was smiling too, real and genuine, the first true smile he'd seen from her all evening.
The musicians struck up a new tune, faster, livelier. Other couples flooded back onto the floor, and Alpin reluctantly stepped back, giving Mhairi space.
"One more dance?" he asked.
She glanced toward the refreshment table. "I should probably––"
"One more," he pressed. "And then I'll let ye escape tae wherever ye want to go."
Mhairi studied his face for a moment, then placed her hand back in his. "One more."
They danced three more songs after that. By the time they finally left the floor, Mhairi was laughing, her earlier tension completely gone, and Alpin felt lighter than he had in days.
Maybe weeks.
"I need water," Mhairi said, fanning herself with one hand. "And possibly tae sit down before me feet fall off."
"Weak," Alpin teased.
"Some of us are nae accustomed tae this much movin' around."
"Ye seemed tae manage fine when ye were runnin' through that forest away from me."
"That was different. That was survival." She accepted a cup of water from a passing servant and drank deeply. "This is just showin' off."
"Am I showin' off?"
"Terribly." Her eyes sparkled over the rim of her cup. "But I dinnae mind."
Callum appeared beside them, grinning like a fool. "Enjoyin' the evenin', are we?"
"Immensely," Mhairi said before Alpin could respond.
"Good. Because half the clan's been placin' bets on whether our laird would finally stop broodin' in corners and actually dance with ye."
Alpin glared at him. "They have nae."
"They absolutely have. I'm up three silver coins now, thanks tae ye finally growin' a spine."
"I'm goin' tae murder ye in yer sleep."
"Ye keep sayin' that, and yet here I am. Still breathin'." Callum clapped him on the shoulder. "Now, if ye'll excuse me, I see a lovely lass who looks like she needs a dancin' partner. Try nae tae glower at anyone else while I'm gone, aye?"
He disappeared into the crowd before Alpin could respond.
Mhairi was trying very hard not to laugh. "He's terrible."
"He's the worst."
"He’s still yer friend though."
"Unfortunately." Alpin drained his own cup and set it aside. "Come on. Let's get some air before I drink too much ale."
He led her toward one of the side doors that opened onto a small courtyard. The night air was cool and crisp, a welcome relief after the warmth of the crowded hall.
Mhairi tilted her head back, looking up at the stars. "It's a clear night."
"Aye." Alpin moved to stand beside her. "Can ye see our constellations?"
She scanned the sky, then pointed. "There. The Broken Rope."
"And?"
"The Brave Laird." Her hand shifted. "And the Grey-Eyed Queen."
Their fingers were nearly touching on the stone railing. Alpin shifted slightly, closing the distance until their hands met.
"I’m sorry I tried tae push ye away. Ye are so patient and I was bein' foolish," Mhairi said quietly.
"Ye werenae bein' foolish. Ye were bein' careful. There's a difference."
"Still." She turned to face him fully. "Thank ye."
The courtyard was empty except for them. Music and laughter drifted from the hall, but it felt distant, muted. Like they were the only two people in the world.
Alpin reached up slowly, giving her time to pull away, and cupped her face in his hand.
"Ye're welcome," he said softly.