Are you going to hit me?
Hey hiiiii mayawiyans!!
Do comments and votes pls??
—————————————
He didn't answer.
His jaw stayed clenched, the muscles ticking sharply under his skin, every step carrying the weight of anger he was barely holding back.
Why now...?
Why like this...?
The questions stormed through his mind, colliding with each other, refusing to settle.
Embarrassment burned hot in his chest.
Frustration coiled tighter with every passing second.
And beneath it all
A quiet, creeping fear.
What did this mean?
For them.
For everything.
Her hand in his felt strange in that moment
Like something he needed to hold onto
And something he couldn't escape from.
"Pati ji..."
Her voice came again.
Softer.
Unsteady.
Her heart was racing now, the earlier joy slipping through her fingers like sand.
Is he angry... because I am pregnant...?
What happened to him...?
Confusion twisted painfully inside her, replacing excitement with something colder.
He didn't feel the same.
Didn't look the same.
This wasn't her Rivan.
Not the one who held her gently.
Not the one who whispered to her in the quiet of the night.
Not the one who smiled softly just moments ago.
Fear wrapped around her tightly.
"Pati ji... are you upset with me...?" she asked again, her voice trembling now.
Her steps faltered as she tried to keep up, her grip tightening around his hand even as it hurt.
Her words broke softly in the air
Fragile.
But he kept walking.
And the distance between them
Though they were still holding hands
Had never felt this wide.
He still said nothing.
Not a single word.
And somehow
That silence hurt more than anger ever could.
The hallway stretched endlessly before them, each step echoing louder than the last, her heartbeat rising with it, fast and uneven.
Tears burned at the corners of her eyes, threatening to fall as confusion wrapped tightly around her chest.
Fear crept deeper.
Finally
They reached the bedroom.
Rivan pushed the door open forcefully, pulling her inside with him.
And then
Bang.
The door slammed shut behind them, the sound echoing through the room like thunder cracking across a stormy sky.
He let go of her hand gently.
The sudden release made her stumble slightly.
He turned toward her.
His chest rose and fell heavily, breaths uneven, emotions crashing inside him anger, shame, confusion... and beneath it all, something deeper, something aching
Love.
The room felt smaller now.
Tighter.
The air thick with everything left unsaid.
Devyani stood there quietly, her hand instinctively moving to her wrist, rubbing the spot where his grip had tightened.
Her eyes
Wide.
Fragile.
Searching.
Looking at him like he held all the answers.
But the happiness that had filled her just moments ago
Was gone.
Shattered into pieces she didn't know how to gather again.
Rivan stood still for a moment, his back turned to her, shoulders rigid, as if holding himself together by sheer force.
His chest felt tight.
Too tight.
Anger simmered beneath his skin, sharp and restless.
Embarrassment clawed at his pride, raw and unrelenting.
And beneath it all
A deeper fear.
Quieter.
But far more dangerous.
Her innocence.
Her vulnerability.
In a world that would not spare her.
He shut his eyes briefly.
Because he knew
If he turned around right now...
If he saw her face
Those wide, confused eyes
He would break.
"Wait here, Devyani."
His voice came out rough.
Clipped.
The anger slipping through despite everything he tried to control.
He didn't give her time to respond.
Didn't trust himself to stay.
Turning sharply, he walked out
Fast.
Decisive.
Like distance was the only thing keeping him from losing control.
And then
The door shut.
A heavy thud.
Final.
The room fell silent.
Colder.
Emptier.
And the space he left behind
Felt heavier than his presence ever did.
Devyani flinched at the sound of the door, her whole body shrinking in on itself as if she could hide from something she couldn't even see.
The silence that followed felt louder than the noise.
Tears rushed to her eyes instantly.
Hot.
Uncontrollable.
They spilled over before she could stop them, sliding down her cheeks in trembling lines as her breath hitched unevenly.
Slowly, like her strength had left her all at once, she sank onto the edge of the bed.
Her hands shook.
Her fingers clutched her saree pallu tightly, twisting the fabric again and again, as if holding onto it could somehow steady the storm inside her.
Why is he so angry...?
The question echoed in her mind, over and over, growing louder with every passing second.
Her happiness so bright just moments ago
Twisted into confusion.
Then fear.
Did he not want a child...?
Does he hate me now...?
Did I do something wrong...?
Her thoughts tangled, spiraling into places she didn't understand, her innocent heart trying to make sense of something too heavy for it.
Her hand slowly moved to her stomach.
Resting there.
Soft.
Careful.
Protective.
As if something was already there.
As if she needed to shield it.
Her lips trembled as she whispered, her voice breaking under the weight of her emotions
"It's okay...baby..."
A small sob slipped through.
"Dadda is just angry with mumma right now..."
Another tear fell.
"He'll come back..."
Her voice softened.
Fragile.
"He always does..."
But the innocence in her words only made everything hurt more.
It was too pure.
Too soft for a world that wasn't.
Like a delicate flower blooming right in the middle of a storm
Beautiful.
But dangerously unprotected.
"I didn't do anything bad..." she whispered to herself, her body rocking slightly as if trying to soothe her own breaking heart.
Her voice trembled.
A pause.
Her breath hitched.
That thought landed deep.
Her fingers tightened over the fabric in her lap.
Each question felt sharper than the last, piling over her fragile heart until it could barely hold anymore.
Tears flowed freely now, unstoppable, blurring her vision completely.
Her throat tightened painfully, a lump forming that made even breathing feel difficult.
She wiped her face with the back of her hand, again and again
But it didn't help.
Nothing helped.
Fear crept in slowly.
Then all at once.
Gripping her heart.
Squeezing tightly.
Fear of losing him.
The man who had become her whole world.
Her safety.
Her home.
And now
It felt like everything was slipping
Because of her.
Because she was too much.
Or maybe
Not enough.
Rivan walked down the hallway with long, unyielding strides, his fists clenched tightly at his sides, every step charged with restless energy. Anger moved through him like a live wire sharp, unpredictable, dangerous if left unchecked.
He needed distance.
Space.
Control.
Before he said something he could never take back.
The study door flew open as he pushed it hard, stepping inside, and just as quickly
Bang.
It shut again.
This time, the silence that followed wrapped around him like a vice.
He paced.
Back and forth.
Relentless.
His mind refused to slow.
Faces flashed
Her voice.
So bright.
So unaware.
"I am pregnant."
His jaw tightened.
It wasn't just the words.
It was how she said them.
How easily she had opened something so private
So intimate
And placed it in front of everyone like it meant nothing more than a happy announcement.
"She doesn't see it..." he muttered under his breath rising again.
"She doesn't see the world out there..."
His chest rose and fell heavily.
"She doesn't see the wolves."
That thought hit deeper than anger.
Because this wasn't just about embarrassment.
It was fear.
Fear that she was too innocent.
Too open.
Too unguarded
For a world that would not spare her.
And somewhere inside that fear
Was something worse.
The feeling that he had failed her.
That he hadn't prepared her enough.
Hadn't protected her enough.
The frustration twisted inward.
Like it always did.
His hand reached the desk, fingers curling around a heavy glass paperweight.
He gripped it tightly.
Harder.
The edges pressed into his palm, sharp and unforgiving, his knuckles turning white under the pressure.
A low, strained sound escaped him
Somewhere between a breath and a growl.
He tightened his grip further.
Welcoming the pain.
Because it was easier.
Simpler.
Pain he could understand.
Pain he could control.
A thin line of blood surfaced where the glass bit into his skin.
But he didn't let go.
He held it there
Letting the sting ground him.
Pull him back.
Slowly
His breathing began to steady.
The storm inside him didn't disappear.
But it quieted.
Just enough
For him to think again.
Time dragged.
Slow.
Heavy.
Fifteen minutes
But to him
It felt like much longer.
Finally, Rivan straightened, exhaling deeply as if forcing himself back into control. He wiped his hand with a handkerchief.
He couldn't stay away anymore.
Leaving her alone
With her thoughts
With her fears
Would only break her further.
And that
He couldn't allow.
He turned and walked back, each step slower now, measured, deliberate.
When he reached the bedroom, he didn't slam the door this time.
He pushed it open quietly.
The room greeted him with silence.
Dim.
Still.
Soft afternoon light filtered through the curtains, casting long shadows across the floor.
The bed was empty.
His eyes searched immediately.
Then
The balcony.
And there she was.
Curled up on the wicker chair, small and folded into herself, her knees drawn tightly to her chest, her arms wrapped around them like she was trying to hold herself together.
Her saree draped loosely around her, her face buried in its fabric.
Her shoulders trembled.
Silent sobs.
Soft.
But relentless.
The sight hit him harder than anything else had.
For a moment
He just stood there.
Then
"Devyani."
Her name left his lips, a little sharper than he intended, the remnants of tension still clinging to his voice.
And the silence broke.
She flinched hard, her whole body jerking as if something invisible had struck her. Her head snapped up, eyes wide, red and glassy, filled with a fear that didn't belong to this moment but had taken root anyway.
His voice had not been loud.
But it had been different.
And that was enough.
Rivan never spoke like that.
Never let his tone turn sharp.
Never let it carry that edge.
And hearing it now felt like something inside her had cracked.
Her heart stumbled in her chest, missing its rhythm as fear rushed in again, stronger than before.
She swallowed with difficulty, her throat tight and burning, forcing herself to move.
Slowly, she unfolded from the chair.
Her legs felt weak beneath her, almost unsteady, but she still walked toward him.
Step by step.
Careful.
Hesitant.
Her head lowered.
Her hands clasped tightly in front of her, fingers twisting into each other like she was trying to hold herself together.
She looked small.
Too small.
Like a child waiting to be scolded.
The space between them was not far.
But it felt endless.
Filled with everything that had broken between them in just a few minutes.
Rivan looked at her, really looked this time, and something inside him twisted. The way she stood there, head bowed, hands trembling, eyes refusing to meet his... it pulled at him in ways he didn't want to feel right now.
For a second, his anger rose again at her silence, at her submission, at how easily she folded into herself. But just as quickly, it collided with something softer, something that always surfaced when it came to her.
He clenched his jaw and crossed his arms, forcing himself not to reach out, not to pull her close like he wanted to.
"I clearly said no more talking about children," he said, his voice steady but firm, each word controlled. "Why didn't you listen to me?"
She didn't answer.
Her fingers tightened together.
He exhaled, trying to keep his tone in check.
"You are not a kid, Devyani," he continued, quieter now but heavier. "I won't be there every time to make you understand things."
His gaze hardened slightly, not at her, but at the thought itself.
"There will come a time when I'm not with you... a time when you will have to face this world on your own."
Her shoulders tensed.
He noticed.
And it made this harder.
"But this world..." his voice dropped, slower now, more real, "this world is not kind."
A pause.
His eyes stayed on her.
"And your innocence..." he said softly, almost to himself, "it's scaring me."
She finally shifted slightly, but still didn't look up.
"What if I'm not around you?" he continued, the words coming from a place deeper than anger now. "Who will protect you then?"
His hands tightened against his arms.
"I don't want anyone else to protect you. You should be strong enough to protect yourself."
Another pause.
Longer this time.
"But seeing you like this..." his voice faltered just slightly before he steadied it again, "I don't think so."
Silence filled the space between them.
Heavy.
Uncomfortable.
Real.
"You don't listen to me," he finished quietly, the frustration still there, but no longer sharp, just tired and weighed down.
His voice softened without him even realizing it, the sharpness fading as concern quietly took its place. He stepped closer, drawn to her despite himself, his eyes searching her face.
But she didn't look up.
Her gaze stayed fixed on the floor, as if it was the only thing holding her together.
Tears fell steadily, one after another, hitting the ground in soft, silent drops.
Her fingers moved slowly, trembling as they reached for him, gripping the front of his shirt tightly, clutching it like it was the only thing keeping her from falling apart.
Her whole body shook.
Not loudly.
Not dramatically.
Just small, uncontrollable tremors she couldn't stop.
Her face turned red, the strain of holding everything in visible in every breath she took.
She kept staring down, refusing to lift her eyes, as if one look at him would break whatever fragile control she had left.
Tiny hiccups escaped her, uneven, broken, turning into soft gasps as she tried desperately not to cry out loud.
But the tears didn't listen.
They kept coming.
Endless.
Unstoppable.
Her throat burned, tight and raw, making it hard to breathe, hard to swallow.
Her vision blurred completely, the floor beneath her turning into a swirl of colors she couldn't focus on.
Her nose ran slightly, and she wiped it quickly, embarrassed, ashamed of something so small yet so exposing.
Everything about her felt too much.
Too open.
Too vulnerable.
Like she had been stripped back to that same fragile girl she once was, locked away from the world, unsure of how to exist in it.
The feeling twisted painfully inside her chest.
Why does it hurt so much
The question echoed inside her, heavy and confusing.
I just wanted to share the joy
Her grip on his shirt tightened.
Is that so wrong
Rivan stood there, watching her, and slowly, piece by piece, his anger began to crumble.
It didn't disappear all at once. But the moment his eyes truly registered her state, the way she trembled, the way she held onto his shirt like it was the only thing keeping her steady, something shifted deep within him.
A sharp, uncomfortable feeling rose in his chest.
Possessive.
Protective.
And painfully heavy.
He hadn't seen it before.
Too caught up in his own thoughts, his own irritation, his own need to correct her.
But now it was impossible to ignore.
She looked broken.
Not stubborn.
Not careless.
Just... broken.
Like a child who didn't understand why she was being scolded, only that it hurt.
The sight hit him hard, like something had slammed straight into his chest.
What have I done
The thought came uninvited, harsh and accusing.
His jaw tightened as he exhaled sharply, trying to steady himself, trying to push aside the guilt clawing its way up his throat.
Carefully, much more carefully this time, he reached out and held her by the elbow.
Not firm.
Not forceful.
Gentle.
Guiding her.
He led her toward the balcony again, slower now, aware of every small step she took, aware of how fragile she felt under his touch.
When they reached, he made her sit on the chair, adjusting it slightly so she wouldn't stumble.
Then he moved back.
Not too far.
But not close enough to touch her.
He sat on the edge of the chair opposite her, leaning slightly forward, his knees almost brushing hers.
Close enough to feel her presence.
Far enough to create space.
A space that felt necessary.
A space that hurt more than distance.
Because he wanted to close it.
But he didn't.
His hands rested on his thighs, fingers curling slightly as he tried to control the urge to reach for her again.
His gaze lifted to her face.
And that was when it hit him fully.
The tears.
Clear.
Endless.
Tracing down her cheeks without pause.
Her eyes swollen, red, refusing to meet his.
His chest tightened painfully.
Regret came crashing in, heavy and suffocating.
He inhaled deeply, his breath uneven for a second before he forced it to steady.
"See, Devyani... don't make me sound rude, okay? I don't want to."
His voice was calmer now.
Controlled.
But there was still firmness beneath it.
Not anger.
But intention.
He had to make her understand.
He had to.
Even if it hurt him to do it this way.
His eyes stayed on her, watching every small movement, every tremble she tried to hide.
Another tear slipped down her cheek.
And something inside him twisted again.
He wanted to stop.
Right there.
Pull her into his arms.
Tell her it was okay.
Apologize.
Hold her until she stopped crying.
He could almost feel it, the weight of her in his arms, the way she would melt into him, the way everything would soften again.
But he didn't move.
His jaw tightened, holding himself in place.
Because he knew if he gave in now, she would never understand.
And the world would not be as gentle as him.
That thought alone forced him to stay where he was.
Her innocence was beautiful.
Too beautiful.
Untouched.
Pure in a way that the world did not allow for long.
And that was what terrified him the most.
Because he could protect her.
But not always.
Not forever.
And if she didn't learn now, if she didn't understand the weight of things, the consequences, the boundaries, then one day someone else would teach her.
And that thought made something dark stir inside him.
No.
He couldn't let that happen.
Even if it meant becoming the reason for her tears right now.
Even if it meant holding himself back when every instinct in him screamed to comfort her.
He swallowed the heaviness in his chest, forcing himself to remain steady, even as it tore at him from the inside.
He leaned forward slowly, as if even the smallest sudden movement might break her further. His hands rose to her face, and with a softness that didn't match the storm inside him, his thumbs brushed against her cheeks, wiping away the tears that refused to stop.
His touch was careful.
Feather light.
Almost hesitant.
As if he didn't deserve to touch her after being the reason those tears existed.
Another tear slipped down, and he caught it instantly, his thumb lingering for a second longer than needed.
It was breaking him.
Completely.
Each tear felt like it carved something inside his chest, sharp and unforgiving, like thorns pressing deeper with every breath he took.
Her quiet sobs did not echo loudly in the room, but inside him, they roared.
This was his doing.
His words.
His tone.
His restraint that had turned into distance.
And now she was sitting in front of him like this, shattered in ways she didn't even understand.
A flicker of self disgust rose within him, heavy and suffocating.
Still, he continued, gently wiping her face.
Her cheeks.
Her chin.
Carefully, he used the edge of his sleeve to clean the small trail beneath her nose, his movements slow, almost reverent, like he was trying to undo something that couldn't be undone so easily.
When he was done, his hands didn't leave her.
Instead, they moved down, holding hers.
Her fingers were cold.
Slightly damp.
Trembling.
He wrapped his hands around them, enclosing them in warmth, his grip firm but reassuring.
His voice came softer now, steadier, but still carrying a quiet firmness that he couldn't let go of.
"Everything is not a joke."
He watched her closely, his thumb unconsciously brushing over her knuckles.
"Having a kid... raising a kid... this is not a joke, okay?"
His grip tightened just slightly, not to hurt, but to make her feel the weight of his words.
A breath left him, heavier this time, his frustration flickering again despite everything.
He searched her face, trying to make her understand, trying to reach her without breaking her further.
"You have to understand this..."
There was a pause.
His hands still holding hers.
Grounding both of them.
"Everything is not a joke."
Softer this time.
Less harsh.
More tired.
"Just because we spent some good time together... just because it felt good..."
His voice slowed, choosing his words carefully.
He fell quiet after that.
Still holding her hands.
Still sitting right in front of her.
Caught between wanting to protect her from everything...
And knowing he had just become the one who hurt her the most.
More tears slipped down, faster now, blurring everything in front of her. She wiped them harshly with the back of her hand, almost angrily, as if punishing herself for not being able to stop.
But they didn't stop.
They kept coming.
Her shoulders curled inward, her body shrinking further into itself, as if she could disappear from the moment.
She didn't look up.
Not even once.
Her gaze stayed fixed on the floor, stubborn and broken at the same time.
"Lift your eyes," he said, his voice softer now, gentler than before.
She shook her head immediately.
A small, broken whisper left her lips.
"No..."
It wasn't defiance.
It was fear.
Rivan inhaled deeply, his chest rising slowly as he tried to steady himself, counting silently, holding back everything that threatened to spill out.
When he spoke again, his voice was controlled, but heavier now.
His grip on her hands remained firm, grounding.
A pause.
His eyes stayed on her lowered face.
The word came softer, but it carried weight this time.
Her fingers tightened slightly in his hold.
Another pause.
Longer.
His jaw tightened slightly, the fear beneath his words surfacing.
His tone dropped, quieter now, more real.
Her breathing hitched faintly.
"I feel..." he stopped for a second, swallowing the weight in his throat, "...I feel terrible when I think about your future."
His eyes softened despite himself.
The question lingered in the air.
Heavy.
Unanswered.
His voice lowered even more.
There was no mockery in it.
Only fear.
Only frustration wrapped around concern.
He shook his head slightly, his grip tightening unconsciously.
He started again, but the words slowed, caught between what he wanted to say and what he didn't want to break further.
Because somewhere in the middle of teaching her the world
He could see he was already hurting her more than the world ever had.
Devyani's lips folded inward, trembling the way a child's do when they are trying too hard not to cry. Her nose had turned pink and swollen, her eyes glassy and unfocused, the tears refusing to stop no matter how much she tried to control them.
A small hiccup escaped her.
Soft.
Broken.
It echoed louder than anything else in that quiet space.
With every word he spoke, something inside her seemed to shrink further, her heart pulling into itself like it was trying to protect what little was left.
The pain wasn't just in her chest.
It spread everywhere.
Her throat burned.
Her head felt heavy.
Even her body felt weak, like the weight of her emotions was too much to carry.
And yet, the worst of it wasn't the pain.
It was the feeling of being alone.
Even with him sitting right in front of her.
Even with his hands holding hers.
She still felt like she was standing somewhere far away, unreachable, unheard.
Her fingers twisted tightly in her lap, pressing into her own skin, nails digging into her palms as if that small pain could distract her from the storm inside.
Her lips parted slowly.
Her voice came out in fragments, barely holding together.
To her, it meant fixing things.
Making it right.
Making him stop being upset.
Her voice trembled more.
Her throat tightened again, her words breaking apart.
A tear slipped down again.
The simplicity of it made it worse.
No accusations.
No anger.
Just hurt.
Just confusion.
Just a quiet plea.
Rivan felt it then.
Fully.
Like something crashed into him without warning.
His chest tightened, his breath catching as guilt rose violently inside him.
This was not what he wanted.
Not this.
Never this.
He wanted her to understand.
To grow.
To be strong.
But not like this.
Not by breaking her.
Not by making her feel afraid of him.
His grip on her hands loosened slightly, his fingers trembling now, not hers.
And then
Her voice came again.
Softer than before.
Barely there.
Fragile enough to shatter.
For a moment, everything inside him went still.
Completely still.
The words didn't just reach him.
They cut through him.
Deep.
Sharp.
Unforgiving.
His breath stopped.
His eyes widened slightly, fixed on her face as if he hadn't heard her right.
But he had.
And the meaning of it settled heavily in his chest.
She was scared of him.
Not the world.
Not strangers.
Him.
The man who promised to protect her.
The man who was supposed to be her safest place.
And in that moment
He had become something she feared.
Something inside him broke quietly.
Because nothing hurt more than that.
Glimpse:
It fluttered somewhere into the darkness. She sat there in just her bra, her breasts pushed up, the valley of her cleavage a deep, inviting shadow.
She looked down at him, a smirk playing on her lips.
His name.
She'd said his name AGAIN.
The sound of it, spoken with such daring confidence, sent a rush of heat through his veins.
He felt his control slipping, felt the leash of his composure straining.
He growled, a low, guttural sound that rumbled from deep in his chest. "Yeah. You're right."
"Don't tell me I'm a girl and I can't do this," she said, her eyes sparkling with mischief. "It's you who did this first. I'm just continuing your dirty things."
______________
How's the chapter?