Chapter 16 River
RIVER
River walked up Park Avenue the next day with a spring in his step. The taste of snow was in the air, the shops were decorated cheerfully, and he had his favorite people with him.
He had taken the kids for a little walk around town while Nora ran a few errands, but now they were all together again.
Of course she had really been buying the children’s Christmas presents. And she had been as thrilled as could be to have the chance to surprise them, with River’s help to look after them while she shopped.
The whole thing gave him a bittersweet pleasure.
He’d felt lonesome drinking his tea alone last night before heading back to the cottage, but the truth was that he didn’t blame her for not falling into his arms. He felt conflicted himself over his feelings for Nora.
It had been good to take the opportunity to center himself and remember all the things that were going well in his life. He finally owned the farm he had dreamed of. His parents were alive and healthy, and close by enough to drop in.
And other feelings aside, he was grateful to have Nora’s friendship. Giving the kids this special Christmas was a privilege, and maybe a chance to practice the skills he hoped to use one day as a father.
He also had the chance to try and come to terms with the fact that he was going to see his brother soon, for better or worse. His mom had been right to remind him.
Though they clearly didn’t see eye to eye as far as what a marriage commitment meant, River loved Edward and he was determined to do his best to make things as right as he could with his brother.
Whatever he has to say for himself, I’ll hear him out. And I won’t take a swing at him even if he deserves it. He’s my brother.
He only hoped he could be as good as his word.
Taking care of the horses this morning had been another opportunity to anchor the peace he was trying to grow in himself.
By the time he’d finished and gotten back, Nora and the kids were showing the kittens how to drink their formula from tiny bowls.
Later today, they planned to try mixing in a little bit of the special wet kitten food the vet had given them.
“Look,” John-John said, scampering over to the window of the little real estate office and peering delightedly at the Victorian dollhouse that rested on a bed of cotton snow and was adorned with tiny Christmas decorations.
“Wow,” Pixie said, dashing over to join him. “There’s a little family in there.”
River smiled at the sight of both kids with their faces pressed against the glass. He and Edward had done the same thing when they were small. The house in the window was irresistible.
“On Christmas Eve, Santa appears in the chimney,” he told Nora quietly.
“It’s so sweet,” she said, smiling at the lady whose desk was behind the dollhouse.
River waved too. That was Sloane Greenfield—she was younger than he was, but he’d known her when they were kids.
River’s mom said Sloane was the kind of person who gave real estate sales a good name.
He hadn’t exactly taken notes, but he remembered that she’d had something to do with the donation of Carla’s Place to the community.
“A little dog,” John-John squeaked, taking off toward a lady with a shaggy dog on a leash.
Pixie darted after him, grabbing his hand and pulling him to a stop.
“May we pat your dog?” she asked politely.
What a kid, River thought to himself.
“Yes, you may,” the lady told them. “What a polite pair of children.”
The two lit up and crouched to pet and praise the dog, whose mouth fell open into a delighted panting that looked an awful lot like a smile. When they were finished greeting their new friend, River led them to the veterans center and opened up the door.
He was surprised to see that Sam, the young woman who was normally at the desk, was nowhere to be found. Marie Martin, one of the regular veteran volunteers, was sitting in her place.
“Hey, Marie,” River said. “Great to see you. Where’s Sam?”
“Amelia had a presentation at school,” Marie said with a smile. “So Sam went to watch. I’ll be on phones for the rest of the day.”
Amelia was Sam’s little sister, who she took care of. River smiled at the idea of the bookish little girl getting up in front of her class to share. It was good that Sam could be there for her.
“Anyone else around today?” he asked.
“Oh yeah,” Marie said. “Someone brought doughnuts, and a bunch of people are in the conference room making sure they don’t go to waste.”
She winked and River laughed. Obviously Marie had brought the doughnuts. She had been lending a hand over at Cassidy Farm this week, and he suspected that they’d sent her here with a generous donation of their incredible apple cider doughnuts.
“Maybe you and your friends want to enjoy too,” she said. “There’s plenty.”
“Yes,” John-John said with a big smile. “I want doughnuts.”
“We have to wash our hands first,” Pixie said.
“There’s a bathroom in back,” Marie said, pointing to the hallway.
“Thank you,” Nora told her. “I’ll take them.”
She ushered the kids back to the little powder room at the end of the hall, leaving River alone with Marie.
“You have a beautiful family,” Marie said softly.
“Oh,” River said, wondering how to explain that they both were and weren’t his family.
“I’m sorry,” Marie said. “I just assumed.”
The simple words filled him with the warmth of pride, and he had to fight his mouth not to smile.
“Good friends,” he managed to say simply.
“Maybe in time, then,” Marie said with a mischievous smile.
“We’re all cleaned up,” John-John yelled as he hurled himself down the hallway with Pixie and Nora at his heels.
“Now remember, we’re going to sing first,” Nora told the kids. “And we’ll only have doughnuts if they invite us and if there are plenty left over.”
“Oh, don’t you worry about that,” Marie said.
She had her phone out and River strongly suspected that she was messaging the guys in the conference room to prepare them for what was coming and remind them to offer the kids a treat.
He felt a pang of gratitude to Captain Anderson for starting this place.
The man himself was a bit of a mystery, but his actions spoke volumes.
The center gave returning men and women so much more than access to resources.
This was a place to go, a place to feel that sense of brotherhood they were used to, with a million good ways to keep your hands busy during the transition back to civilian life.
River had been here just about every day until the night he brought Nora and the kids back to the farmhouse.
His parents were just so glad to have him home that he hadn’t wanted them to see that he struggled at times.
He figured it had saved his sanity to have someplace to go where others understood that coming home wasn’t all sunshine.
“Okay guys,” he said. “Here we go.”
He tapped on the door to the conference room and then stepped inside to the rich scents of cinnamon and coffee.
Half a dozen men sat around the big table. Two giant white boxes of apple cider doughnuts, and a carafe of coffee with a tray of creamers and sugar covered the wide wooden surface.
“Hey, who are these guys?” one of the men asked, smiling at the kids.
“This is Pixie and her little brother, John-John, and their Aunt Nora,” River explained. “And we’re here to sing you some Christmas carols.”
“Awesome,” the man responded.
All eyes turned to the kids. But if River thought that would make them shy, he would have been wrong.
They immediately burst into a cheerful rendition of “Jingle Bells” at an impressive volume. By the time the song was over, they had the guys around the table singing along, and Marie standing in the doorway smiling.
“Jingle Bells” melted into “Deck the Halls” and then “I’ll Be Home for Christmas.”
River had been a little worried that the last song might hit some of the guys hard, but everyone cheered at the end, even Tom Billings, who had tears in his eyes.
When the singing was done, everyone insisted that the children have doughnuts. Tom ran and got them glasses of water, and the adults enjoyed a cup of coffee.
It was a friendly visit, and River was impressed to see that Nora fit right in with his crowd of friends. When their snack was finished, the kids hopped up.
“Where are you going?” Marie asked them.
“We’re going to sing to old people now,” John-John told them, half-whispering like he knew you weren’t exactly supposed to call people old.
“You headed to Carla’s Place?” Marie asked.
“We sure are,” River told her.
“Why don’t you take one of these boxes with you?” she offered. “They gave me too many. There’s no way we’ll eat them all.”
“Are you sure?” Nora asked.
But everyone at the table made sounds of encouragement. Each box probably held two dozen of the doughy delicacies.
“Okay, off we go, then,” River said.
“Careful out there,” Tom put in. “Weather’s supposed to be coming in.”
“You can taste it,” River agreed, nodding.
They headed back out and wandered down Park again toward Carla’s Place.
“The sky is so gray,” Pixie remarked.
“That means more snow is coming,” River told her. “Tom was right.”
“More snow to make a snow bear,” John-John said happily.
“Maybe we can do that tomorrow,” Nora suggested. “Or later today, if the kittens can spare us.”
“That’s the last thing on our list,” Pixie said. “What do we do after that?”
“Hibernate,” John-John said, and then laughed in delight at his own joke.
As they approached Carla’s Place, one of the two older fellows on the porch stood up to greet them.
“Well, if it isn’t River Young,” Reggie Webb cried out.
“Howdy, Mr. Webb,” River called back to him. “This is Nora, and her niece and nephew, Pixie and John-John.”
“Good to see you kids,” Reggie called back.
“River Young, you’re home,” Joe Cassidy said, standing to greet them all. “I heard you all were at our place to cut a tree the other day.”
“Jacob told you,” River realized out loud. “We had so much fun.”
“Today, we’re singing Christmas carols,” John-John said. “Do you want to hear them?”
“We sure do, young man,” Reggie told them. “Let me run in and grab everyone.”
“Take these with you?” River asked jogging up the steps to hand the box over to Reggie, before turning back to Joe. “The veterans center said your place gave them too many, Mr. Cassidy.”
“That’s Alice,” the older man replied with a fond smile. “She’d give it all away if she could. And your volunteers have been such a help.”
“We’re all grateful to be kept busy, sir,” River said quietly.
Joe nodded to him with a knowing look.
“Are there really Christmas carolers out here?” a lady’s voice quavered from inside the house. “I can’t wait.”
River laughed and jogged back down the steps to join Nora and the kids in the walkway at the foot of the porch.
Five more people came out. River recognized a few—there was Mrs. Lennox, who he thought had been just this age when he was a boy, and an older Asian lady he didn’t recognize, as well as Betty Ann Eustace, Ginny Davies, and Shirley Ludd—three of the town’s most active volunteers.
“Should we do ‘Jingle Bells’ again?” John-John whispered loudly to his sister.
“Oh, yes, please,” Shirley called out to them. “That’s my favorite.”
Once again, their audience joined them in song. After “Jingle Bells” they sang Joe Cassidy’s favorite, “Away in a Manger” and Reggie asked for “The First Noel” and then Mrs. Lennox wanted “The Twelve Days of Christmas.”
By the time they got to the last verse, everyone had rosy cheeks and a big smile on their face. The children dashed up on the porch to give hugs and handshakes to their delighted audience.
“Now you kids be careful out there,” Joe said by way of goodbye. “Weather’s supposed to be taking a turn. I’m heading out shortly myself.”
“We will,” John-John told him importantly. “We still have to make a snow bear.”
“I know that’s going to be a very special bear, young man,” Joe told him, patting his shoulder.
As they all piled back into his truck, River felt a sense of satisfaction that was so much deeper than the good feeling of seeing old friends.
“Farmer Bear really got it right when he said it was good to sing carols to your neighbors,” Nora said dreamily as they pulled out.
“You read my mind,” River told her.
He glanced over just in time to see her try to hide a bittersweet smile.
Please help us hold these feelings back, he prayed inwardly. We’ve got to do the right thing for the kids.
And it occurred to him that there was at least one good thing about the fact that they were leaving soon. If Nora stayed much longer, there was no way he’d be able to resist confessing the depth of his feelings to her.