7. Axel
7
AXEL
E arly in the morning, Axel headed out to his truck, eager to get into town and run.
The sky was still a dark velvet-blue over the Williams Homestead and he could just see the thin crescent of the moon peeking out from behind a drifting cloud. There was no sound but his own shoes crunching on the gravel driveway. This sliver of the day was all his own, and he had come to enjoy the solitude of sneaking out in the frosty mornings to run in the village.
He threw his duffel onto the passenger seat. He’d volunteered at the firehouse as a teenager, and had been planning to start up again once his stint with flag football at the school was done. When he bumped into the chief during his run the other day, they’d caught up, and the man had kindly invited him to use the showers at the firehouse in the morning. Now he could run, shower in town, and go straight over to the school afterward without making a trip home first .
“Hey, Axel,” a deep voice said softly from just off the gravel parking area.
“Ansel,” Axel said, greeting his cousin.
“It’s funny to see anyone else up at this hour,” Ansel said, shaking his head.
“Don’t you have a teenager to get up with the horses nowadays?” Axel teased him.
Ansel had remarried two years ago, and his stepdaughter, Parker, was showing signs of wanting to follow in his footsteps. The fifteen-year-old was always out with the horses, riding or caring for them.
“We trade off turns,” Ansel said, shrugging. “She’s sleeping in today.”
Axel smiled at that. Sleeping in to his cousin probably meant she would be up at six.
“Have a good run,” Ansel said before tromping off again.
Farm life suited the man. He’d never really been a big talker, preferring the quiet of the farm work. He had fallen head over heels with Parker’s mom, Winona, when the two of them showed up to housesit. If she hadn’t appeared at his doorstep, Axel was pretty sure his quiet cousin would never have found love again.
I’m one to talk , he thought to himself.
But Axel’s single state had been by choice. Being career Army made it difficult for him to think about starting a serious relationship when his work was so intense.
Of course, now that he’d changed his plans, things were different.
But he still felt up in the air. It was odd to trade one set of challenges for another. The whole time he’d been away, he had a clear picture of what life here would be like when he finally came back. Being here now, only to find it another way…
Don’t even think about it, he told himself. Just put one foot in front of the other.
Somehow, it felt even colder inside the truck than outside. He rubbed his hands together while the engine warmed up and pulled out his phone.
The text chain that Sam Green had gotten him into had a bunch of new messages. He found himself reading through them, chuckling as he caught up with the guys.
The tone of the group was always positive, but Axel could hear their struggles in the words left unsaid. The bittersweet part of coming home was finding it wasn’t just how you left it—or more accurately, maybe you had changed a lot and it had only changed a little.
At any rate, today it felt good to see he wasn’t alone. Impulsively, he typed in a message himself.
mario’s at 8?
Axel and some of the guys had met up at the pizza shop a million times when they were kids. He smiled at the idea of doing it again now.
Before he could put his phone away, it buzzed with a notification.
Beau
8 at night right big guy?
Axel chuckled. It was probably a fair question given how early it was now.
yep 8pm
excellent cu then
Axel shook his head, smiled, and pulled out onto the drive.
Beau Wilson was a few years behind Axel, Wolf, and Grayson in school, but Axel had helped out on the Wilson Tree Farm for a couple of Christmas seasons back in high school, and really taken a shine to the owners’ son, who was always getting in trouble for trying to take apart the equipment.
When Beau got older, he’d called Axel about joining the service, and the two had stayed in touch here and there.
It was funny. Axel had been under the impression that Beau joined up because he wanted a life of adventure, but it seemed like he’d actually come home to take on the family farm.
We’ll catch up tonight, he reminded himself.
It felt good to have a plan for the evening. He was pretty sure Aunt Annabelle and Uncle Alistair had been worried about him when he first came back. They seemed happier now that he was doing things off the homestead.
He’d needed those early weeks though, to relax and come back to himself. He hated to admit it, but readjusting was hard.
Honestly, it was good to have a place to go and something to do on the weekdays now. He’d been reluctant when Sam sent him to a school instead of out on a farming or construction project. But it turned out that being around the kids suited him. Axel had grown accustomed to bigger groups, being a leader, encouraging and inspiring those around him.
These kids were willing to take their flag football section seriously, and try new things while still having fun. He doubted adult workers would confront a new challenge that way if he started a business or tried to find a job in management, like he’d thought about doing when he first came home.
It hit him suddenly that maybe this volunteer job was helping him as much as it helped the school.
Was that what Sam had in mind when she sent me?
But the coordinator was so young and working with so many guys that she couldn’t possibly have known. He had gotten lucky. That was all. But maybe working with kids was something he would be good at. He couldn’t deny, whether she’d really known or not, Sam had some pretty good instincts. He made a mental note to stop by the foundation and thank her next time he was passing by during business hours.
As he turned down Ambler Road into town, Axel thought about some of the kids he’d been helping, like Jack Wilder.
The kid didn’t have the skills yet, but he certainly had spirit. Axel highly doubted that he would be able to hang onto that ball he’d given him for long. But over time, they could work on his hands, especially if he put in some time at home .
He smiled, thinking about the boy’s mother trying to help him. She was tiny, but maybe she could learn to throw a ball well enough for Jack to get some extra practice in.
It was clear she wasn’t much of a sports fan though. She had looked a little worried the whole time she was in the gym, and then she disappeared on him as soon as she could.
But she had been there. She had shown up for Jack. And that was really the only thing that mattered.
He remembered the expression on her face as she watched her son running.
Don’t think about her pretty blue eyes.
He did his best to push the thought aside, but it was like even Mother Nature was conspiring against him. As he parked in the village, he couldn’t help noticing that the moonlight bathed the town in a pale blue glow, like light coming through stained glass windows.
Like her eyes when she looks at her boy…
He parked and hopped out of the truck and into the sleepy little town. No one else was out yet, and his only greeting was the soft whisper of the breeze through the bare branches of the small trees that were planted at intervals all along the two main roads of the little town.
Those trees hadn’t been there before Axel had gone away, but they looked nice—much nicer in summertime, probably. He was pretty sure at least a couple of them were cherry blossoms.
My hometown is changing, little by little.
They were good changes, mostly. Hopefully, when the highway came through the county and dipped close to Trinity Falls, it wouldn’t obliterate the simple country life he had always expected to come home to one day.
He began his run, heading past the hardware store, where Michael waved to him through the window, like always, and Axel waved back. But he was too wound up to stop and chew the fat this morning. Tension coiled in his stomach, and his muscles ached for exercise.
The craving for motion had come over him constantly when he first got home, leaving him too restless to sleep sometimes. But that had been a bad feeling.
This was a good one. Something was tickling his brain and breathing restlessness into his legs—like a wonderful surprise was just around the corner and he was going to find happiness and purpose, if he could just get moving so he didn’t miss it.
He jogged slowly up to the corner, and then headed down Park Avenue, picking up speed as he got past the shops and the little apartment buildings, where he might be more likely to run into someone who was up half-asleep to walk a dog or grab the paper.
On a whim, he turned right onto Princeton and then left on Rutgers, where smaller Victorians and arts & crafts bungalows nestled under big trees. None of the Christmas lights that hung from the roofs and porches were on at this hour, but it still looked like a holiday card under the light dusting of last night’s snow.
I’ll bet Eden lives in one of these little houses, he thought to himself. He’d seen her heading to school from right around here before.
As if in answer to his thoughts, a bright, familiar voice called out to him through the chilly morning air. He glanced around and was thunderstruck when he spotted Eden herself, standing on the front porch of the sweet little cottage he was passing.
Even bundled up with a scarf covering her chin and a knit cap pulled down over her blonde mane, Eden was almost unspeakably beautiful. Her eyes were even bluer than he remembered.
He gaped at her for a second before forcing himself to regain his cool.
“Eden Wilder,” he said as he strode over to the porch, giving her the slow smile that had always driven women wild in his younger days.
“Uh, hello,” she murmured, blinking at him.
He had clearly thrown her off. But she still didn’t smile or giggle at him, like he was expecting. She was always so calm. There was something about it that called to him.
He moved a little closer, grabbing the balustrades of the railing she was leaning on. Their breath plumed in the frosty air, and he found himself watching the two little clouds mingle at the edges before disappearing.
The coiled feeling in his stomach eased as she gazed down at him, sending a hum of electricity sparking through his chest to take its place.
What’s happening to me?
“Did you give Jack a ball yesterday?” she asked him suddenly.
He was so mesmerized by the feelings swirling through him that he couldn’t process the question at first.
Then his mind started working again.
The ball for Jack. Right .
She was probably just bringing it up so he wouldn’t leave—her way of flirting. But maybe he could turn it into a real conversation about the boy.
Though he hadn’t exactly enjoyed the clusters of women giggling at him at the school, he kind of liked the idea of Eden Wilder flirting with him.
“Sure,” he said, leaning back a little. “I gave it to him.”
“But did you tell the other kids to try and take it from him?” she asked.
Her blue eyes were wide and worried. It hit him that she wasn’t flirting with him at all. This was already a real conversation.
He straightened up, glad for the opportunity. Her son had real potential. Maybe he could talk to her about how to help him get better.
“It’s the best way to learn how to hold a ball,” he told her, nodding and getting kind of excited about it. “When you’re a tight end, you have to really work on catching and holding on under all kinds of pressure. There are bigger players whose whole job is to get you to drop that ball, or not catch it in the first place. Holding onto it is an art.”
“Three kids came after him on the way home from school,” she said, her voice a little higher than before. “They tackled him to the ground trying to take it from him, and called him Jackrabbit ?—”
“Did he hang onto the ball?” Axel asked eagerly. He knew it was unlikely. But there had been something about the look on Jack’s face when Axel explained what he wanted that he really liked. There was a force of will in the kid that seemed beyond his years .
“Well…” Eden said, looking taken aback. “Well, I mean, yes, but?—”
“ Get out of town ,” Axel exclaimed, pride blooming in his chest. “I thought for sure they’d get it from him before the end of gym class. But wow, he’s got grit. He still has it now?”
“Yes,” she said.
“That’s a special ball—” he began, looking forward to telling her all about it.
“That’s not the point,” she cut in, her voice bell-clear and her expression troubled again. “He’s new to the school, and he was doing just fine. Now there are kids following him home, attacking him, and calling him names.”
Axel was so surprised he actually took a step back, shaking his head as he tried to understand. Jack had been so excited about his mission back at school, so proud to have a job to do…
But Eden’s blue eyes were filled with sadness, and anger on her son’s behalf. She was telling the truth. The kid must be really upset.
Axel’s stomach twisted with regret.
“Is that really how Jack feels about it?” he ventured.
But before she could answer, the front door flew open and Jack burst out. He was wearing pajamas and a pair of fluffy slippers, and his hair was plastered to the side of his face like he had just leaped out of bed and thundered downstairs to find them.
The ball was gripped hard to his chest.
Atta’ boy .
“Hi, Coach,” Jack said in a soft voice that was still a little rusty with sleep. “I thought I heard you out here.”
“How’s my ball?” Axel asked, smiling fondly and jogging up the porch steps to try and take it from him.
Jack instantly, turned, curving his shoulder around himself to protect the ball.
“Good boy,” Axel told him, stepping back. “We’ll make a champion out of you.”
Jack turned back to him, an expression of sleepy pride lighting up his little face. He didn’t seem unhappy about the take-away game at all. Maybe it was more about the nickname.
“Listen,” Axel said, crouching to Jack’s height. “I’ll put a stop to everyone calling you Jackrabbit today.”
Before he knew what was happening, tears were erupting from Jack’s blue eyes.
“Oh,” Axel said, lifting his hands. “Listen, I’m really sorry about that. I didn’t know the nickname was going to make you feel bad. I’ve never coached kids before and?—”
“No, ” Jack wailed. “I—I want to be a kid with a n-n-nickname.”
“You like being called Jackrabbit?” Eden asked him softly.
Jack turned to her, nodding, wiping his tears with his shoulder to keep both hands on the ball. A fissure formed in the stone of Axel’s heart, like the boy had hit it with a hammer, and a ribbon of sunlight was entering.
“What about when they tried to take the ball from you?” Eden went on. “That girl knocked you right down.”
“But I held on. It was awesome,” Jack said immediately. “I’m going to get a lot better, too. I can’t be a tight end if I can’t hang onto the ball.” He gazed up at his mother, as if he were begging for something, and Axel found himself doing the same thing.
Please let him explore this thing that he’s good at.
After a moment, Eden nodded slowly, understanding dawning on her beautiful face.
“That’s fine,” she said to Jack, a little smile teasing at the corners of her lips. “You can keep your nickname. I guess it’s just right for you, because you’re such a fast runner.”
Jack beamed up at her and snuck a glance over at Axel. Tears still clung to his lashes, but he looked so happy.
Axel’s heart throbbed, and he told himself to remember this feeling. He hadn’t thought before about how the kids’ emotions were right on their sleeves at this age. Jack was still so little…
“I need you to make me a promise,” he heard himself say to the boy. “If there’s ever anything going on that you don’t like, you have to promise me that you’ll tell me right away.”
“Yes, Coach,” Jack said with a solemn expression.
“Good boy,” Axel said, straightening.
“Go brush your teeth,” Eden told Jack, patting his back.
“See you at school,” Jack told Axel, still holding onto that football for all he was worth.
Axel couldn’t help smiling as he watched the boy scramble back into the house. Suddenly, the door was closed, and he realized he was still standing on the porch with Eden. He was pretty sure he should leave right away. But he didn’t really want to.
She turned to him and looked up to study his face. Her head tilted slightly and he felt almost like she was trying to read what was written on his soul.
“I guess you’re going to tell me that I was overreacting,” she said after a moment, looking away.
“Not at all,” he said, surprised. “That’s your kid, and you were looking out for him. He’s lucky. There’s nothing more important than knowing someone has your back.”
She nodded slowly, her eyes softening as she turned back to him.
“ I was just thinking that it’s a shame I got off on the wrong foot with you twice,” he admitted.
Unexpectedly, Eden started laughing.
He’d had women giggling at him all week, but this couldn’t have been more different.
It started as a surprised little sound, and melted immediately into something so husky and real that Axel couldn’t help but smile back at her, helpless with infatuation. It was like he was hearing music for the first time, or seeing a sunny blue sky after a lifetime underground.
Get out of here. Leave before you do something stupid.
“Well, maybe the third time’s the charm, Miss Wilder,” he said quickly, giving her a wave.
He turned and jogged off down the path to the sidewalk, wondering if she could already see how much he liked her.